Please Note: I saw this on homepage and thought others should see it. I didn't know that it was wrong to do this thing. I'm just letting others know so that their accounts don't get deleted.

April 27th, 2005 -- In addition, would like to address a growing problem. For whatever reason, some writers feel its okay to copy-n-paste musical lyrics they have not written into their fiction. If you did not write it, do not post it. This has always been our policy. Please remove these entries immediately to avoid account closure.

D.S.: I removed the song I used from this fic because of this message. I'm instead using a poem I wrote and it's in italics. If you want to read it the way it originally WAS. You have to read it at my new homepage, just click 'homepage' on my profile to get there.

Trailer Trash

Please Note: I did this story in Present Tense because I felt like it. Complain all you want if you don't like it. I really don't care.

Disclaimer: I don't own FOP

Dedication: To Eternal Silence, whose FOP story "Underneath My Smile" was the first fic that I saw that showed the side of Chester that I also felt that he had. Plus she actually mentioned waiting for this story to come out in her review so I'm also touched.

On the Playground again today

Recess is over and everyone else runs inside. But I continue to sit on the swing by myself. Just like I did at the beginning of recess. Just like I'm doing now that recess has ended.

Clouds decide to play

I hear thunder and the sky starts to darken. But I continue to sit on the swing, thinking. Thinking about everything. About my life. About all the dark things that I usually push to the back of my mind.

I'm hardly breathing, is anyone listening?

My two best friends aren't here today. Who am I kidding? They're my only friends. They see my enthusiasm and believe that I'm okay. But while one is smart enough to hang out with the smart kids and the other is average enough to fit in with the crowd and even find a way to rise up the social ladder. I am an outcast and in a social class but within and outside school in which I've always been stuck.

Thoughts are the onlythings that I can talk to

My thoughts are the only company that I have now. My mind gives me 'someone' to 'converse' with. But with the dark reality it brings to light, I wish I had a real person to talk to.

Hey You

Me greeting someone is like the biggest fear of some kids here. Who wants to talk to someone as low on both the social and financial ladder as me? Even Tootie doesn't pay attention to me. Well she only pays attention to Timmy, but at least people take notice.

But few people tease me about my social class as if my status makes me a leper. I know what they really think of me as but when they tease me they refuse to make mention. They mention my friends' buff teeth and my other friends' bald head and brains. They also mention my braces, but I know the teasing isn't really just because of the metal in my mouth and no one would bother making fun of my brain.

I used to smile and I actually believed

I did believe once that I could wish all of this away. If I smile and live life it would all go away. I don't need to be popular like Tad, Chad, or Trixie. I'd be well off being as good enough as A.J. or Timmy.

That I would wake up from this dream

But it's not a dream. It's my reality. It is all real. I still smile and pretend to be okay. Sometimes I even forget as I watch TV or play with my friends at their house. But eventually; especially when I leave or when I reach home, I fall right back to my sad unhappy reality.

Leave me alone, I'm not in disrepair

Sometimes my friends suggest little things to make me 'better'. A.J. would suggest that I get Invisaline (however those 'invisible' braces are spelt) instead of my regular braces and Timmy would kindly suggest that my Dad and I 'straighten up' our 'house'. A.J. would then suggest that my Dad get a 'real job' and Timmy would say that I probably should move to a 'new' neighbourhood.

But I feel offended because most of what they suggest I couldn't get done either way. My Dad can barely afford to live where we currently reside as well as send me to a good school. Much less move or get me much more expensive braces. My father does whatever odd jobs he can and I know he tries his best to provide for me. Our house might not be 'spick and span' but it's ours and it's better than being homeless and living on the street. Even though I REALLY wish that one of our main chairs in the living room wasn't the can (toilet- this is really in his home on FOP on Nickelodeon. So no one contradict me!). I hate my current life but I don't want to be told tips about fixing it either. I'm a human, not some broken toy or worn out tire. Plus it makes me feel worse.

Hey You I lie to hide

Most of my smiles are fake. Not all but most. I'll open the door to my home smiling despite feeling like a poor idiot. I know that Timmy probably doesn't come by often because his parents probably feel that where I live is not very 'safe'. A.J.'s parents? What a joke! I pretend that I still believe that they love me but I know the truth. But the main reason I HATE going to his house is that his parents whisper stuff about me while I'm there! Hell, they even whisper stuff while I'm in the room then grin and pretend that they didn't say anything. I of course grin back pretending to not have heard. At least at Timmy's house his parents have the decency to not whisper bad stuff about me. At least not while I'm there anyway.

If I said that they weren't any good times, I'd be a liar. But memories of the good times often get smothered by memories of the bad times and right now the bad memories and thoughts were winning.

I Try not to cry

I have to force myself not to cry sometimes. I hate how my life currently is very much. But I don't want to be given 'suggestions' on how to make it 'better' either. I just want to be considered good enough. Not just necessarily good enough to have more people want to be my friend or just good enough to 'hang with'. But just as good as they are. Recognizing me as a normal person and not someone lower and so vastly different from everyone else.

And Suddenly I know that I'm not sleeping.

"Chester?" I hear a voice ask, "what are doing out here alone in the rain?"

I look up to see Timmy in an orange raincoat with a concerned look on his face.

"Nothing," I said quickly as I stood up and finally noticed being soaked to my skin in the pelting rain, "you?" I asked then immediately felt absolutely stupid despite hiding it behind my fake grin.

"Let's get you to the nurse so that you can change clothes," Timmy said and I started to follow him.

Hey You I'm still around

"And Chester," Timmy said and I looked at him curiously, "don't pay any attention to those jerks who won't play with you just because you live in a trailer," he added as we neared the school doors.

I was surprised by his words. I never knew he noticed. A.J. was always the smart one. But I guess Timmy's intelligence goes beyond books and academics.

The remainder of yesterdays

I simply smiled and nodded. I felt good as Timmy and I entered our school and refused to think about this smile becoming only a smile of yesterday when tomorrow would finally come.

Done.

Death's Soulmate: Hoped you enjoyed it. Please Review.