By shadows/of/flame
Happy birthday Emmy! (showers you with confetti)
Have a great day, have lotsa fun - this fic is for you! Enjoy :)
"This can't happen."
The red head's gaze lingered at his clasped hands, not wanting to listen to the words ringing around in his head.
Eventually, his gaze fixed itself briefly on the older man, who's shadow cast shivers across his neck, and it was then he knew, even though Erol didn't want to believe it, that he was right.
Clad only in the bed's sheets, the red head avoided the older ones gaze as he spoke, hoping that the tear in his eye would go un noticed for just a while longer.
The silence between them both was daunting to the red head, and Erol knew, even though what they had done was passionate and loving, that it could not, and would not continue anymore.
Not if the other man could help it anyway.
"You have to serve this city, and I have to defend it. I cannot continue to do this, it is wrong. If word leaked out..."
Erol placed a hand on the older man's arm, trying to comfort him.
But could he comfort himself? His inner feelings, being ripped apart by the one he loved, not likely to ever heal again?
"Yes, I know that Haven City hates homosexuals. But that is your fault, no one elses."
The man chuckled, looking into Erol's soft brown eyes, seeing the pain in his eyes reflected in his own, but not noticing the tear, a tear he had also shed for Erol.
"You are actually showing emotion - how un-Erol like of you. Are you sick?"
Erol chuckled dryly, casting off the bed sheet covering his bare body in preference of his clothes, turning away from the older man as he dressed, pulling his shirt over his head.
After he finished hastily getting dressed, Erol faced the older man, who was now sitting where Erol had been moments before, gazing out the window.
"Please Erol..." his voice was softer now, softer than his usually gravelly tone.
Soft for him was unusual.
"Just go, go and don't look back."
Erol's heart couldn't take anymore, and shattered at that point, the words piercing his heart.
Erol slowly but surely pulled the rest of his clothes on, hating himself for ever falling under his elusive spell.
"As you wish."
He left the room without looking back.
0o0o0
The red head was on guard later on that day, only hours after the late night rendezvous but he was in no mood for ordering people around and generally making their lives an utter misery.
Which was very, very unusual.
He couldn't even order his troops around successfully, and a certain dread-locked commander noticed how hesitant and distant he had become.
"Erol, is something the matter? You need to focus on your troops! They can't train and fight without you ordering them around and making their lives a misery!"
Torn noticed the look on his buddy's face, and sighed.
"...Hang on..."
He ordered the lieutenant of his troops to take over his and Erol's, kneeling beside the now sitting racer.
Erol hung his head, his misery making him feel even more down, and in need to do crazy things, and Torn gave him a friendly hug, patting him on the back.
"Is it him? Has he done something? Erol, has he said something to you?"
Erol nodded, staying limp in Torn's arms, not wishing to discuss it, but feeling compelled to. He'd have to tell someone, and apart from a psychologist, Torn seemed the best person to talk to right now.
"He... he told me to go, and not look back... I think he wants to end it between us."
Torn, of course, knew about Erol's secret love, and just comforted his friend, hoping the pain would soon pass.
"I don't really know what to say Erol. I mean, he isn't exactly the..."
Erol buried his head in Torn's chest, hugging the commander back.
"Look, I shouldn't have made the wrong decision, I know his duties would come first over passion and lust, but I love him anyway! He's driving me crazy! My waking thoughts are consumed by him!"
Torn blinked - Erol was never like this.
The usually crazy, determined to win red-head was despairing, and it was very unlike him.
He never confessed anything to Torn before other than his feelings for the hot new mechanic girl working in the garage by the race stadium, but after he had started seeing this new guy...
He had sealed himself away from Torn, like a self-sealing beer can, and Torn hadn't heard him confess something in quite a while.
But it seemed Erol's love was finally hurting him deep enough.
"...and every second I waste with him, is more than I can take." Erol murmured, causing Torn to jump slightly.
"E... Erol?"
"Look, I'm acting... totally not like myself. I have to stay strong... for my comrades and my troops."
A smirk crossed Torns face as he realised the old Erol was coming back, and Erol finally stood up, readjusting his helmet on his head and giving the thumbs up to Torn.
"Lets go kick some metal head ass--"
"Gentlemen."
Both men froze, and a look of horror claimed Erol's face.
It was the Baron.
Erol went stiff as a board as the Baron clunkered over, the ground rumbling slightly as each foot hit the ground.
"Commander, good work on setting up the troops. They are doing an excellent job of training under the lieutenants care."
The dreadlocked commander muttered something along the line of "Thanks" under his breath, and then the Baron's one eyed gaze landed on Erol.
"You! You're supposed to be commanding your own troops. What the hell are you slacking off for?" Praxis roared, lodging flecks of spit in Erol's face.
Erol glared at the much taller man, and declared "Me and Torn were having a discussion about love sir, and if you have a problem with that, take it up with your therapist."
Praxis' eye widened in horror for a few seconds, and then narrowed again almost straight after.
"We have a smartass among us 'ey? Well, I'm sure a few minutes in the lock downs will cure you of THAT."
As Praxis dragged Erol away, Torn could faintly hear him murmur "But it won't cure me of my ridiculous love for you."