By Nyassa Kaiba
Chapter 10- FeralaeI watched the runabout go. "Good luck." I whispered.
"They don't need luck." Counselor Troi said. "They have Dax keeping an eye on them. I've heard rumors about her competence. They'll be just fine."
"And they have Rachel on board." Marco grinned. "As long as Zia doesn't let her say, 'Let's do it' they won't jinx themselves."
James laughed. "Marco, can you cut with the bad jokes?" Asked Craig. "No offense, but this is a serious situation. One wrong move and they could end up dead, both of them. And what if something goes wrong and they don't make it? There are so many things that could go wrong here."
"Yeah, I know, but wasn't it Monty Python who once said, 'Look on the bright side of life?' Humor as coping mechanism." Marco explained.
"Right, we'd better go." I nodded. I was already digging through the data pad that I usually carried with me. "I wanna get a jump on…"
"You and your lessons." Cassie growled, scooping the pad up out of my hands.
"HEY!" I cried as I found my pad snatched away.
"You and I are going to the holodeck. We are going to morph and fly for an hour or two. It's about time we stretched our wings. Besides, I wanna get in shape so that when we get to Bajor we can do some serious flying." Cassie said cheerfully, wrapping an arm around my waist. I could almost feel her love. Wait a minute! I was feeling her love, all up and down our precious link. Well, we could take the time to renew it. The bond had been slowly fading over the past several days, probably the doing of those damn wormhole folk.
Counselor Troi chuckled. "Alright, go on then. I'll see you two later." We walked out of the observation deck on the launch bay.
Cassie called up the Pacific Northwest landscape that Riker had shown us. Cassie smirked, pushing me down gently onto the thick moss. "It's been awhile since we could do this." She whispered, her voice husky in my ear.
"Then let's keep it on the hush." I whispered back as she leaned in to kiss me.
We lost ourselves in each other for awhile, and after about half an hour, with the moss cooling my sweaty back Cassie sighed and sat up. "I think we should really go flying for awhile. That way we can uh… make good on our alibi."
"Fine with me." I said as we dressed. I could feel Cassie's thoughts again, as strong as the bond was even a year ago.
We morphed and flew a tangled pattern through the sky. Until the alarm went off for the hour and a half mark we forgot about the fact that this was a simulation.
I never slept so soundly that night. I was woken up by the sound of the morning tea pot clinking against a tea cup. "Hnnng…" I groaned. I smelled the hot beverage and my stomach growled.
I got up, went to the bathroom to shower and dress, and met the captain at the kitchen table. Breakfast was some kind of hot pastry, probably French cuisine. "Good morning, sleep well?"
"Yeah, and I could really murder for some cocoa." I growled as I made my way to the replicator. "Hot chocolate with whipped cream, hot." The morning nectar that I'd drank every day since the end of the war appeared and I carried it over to the table.
"We'll be reaching Bajor sometime this evening." Picard told me. "I hope you can keep busy until then."
"I'll keep plenty busy." I said with a smile as I nipped the tip of the cream from the cocoa with a spoon. I took the bite and savored the sugar.
"Major Kira sent over some lessons on Bajoran language for you. They should be waiting on your data pad." Captain Picard said calmly. "She said that if you're going to know the Prophets you'd better speak their language." He chuckled at that.
I worked my way through the hot chocolate and three plates of the pastry that Picard had replicated for breakfast. After clearing the table I followed the captain up to the bridge.
Cassie was waiting for me. "Hey, what's up?"
"The usual, breakfast, then lessons."
"Look, Jake wanted to speak to you Feralae, you and the counselor."
I groaned. Had the counselor complained to Jake about me blowing her off the other day?
I have NO idea. I'm not the telepath. Cassie pointed out. I stared at her in surprise. I think it's long been established that you are one Feralae. You just haven't told anybody.
Yeah, I haven't. But I'm willing to bet Troi's figured it out ages ago. I told her. Koibito this doesn't bode well at all.
No it doesn't. I think Jake's beginning to crack. Cassie pointed out. Don't get angry at him. He doesn't know how to cope with this sort of thing.
What makes you think I know? I asked as we slipped into the conference room.
"Hey Jake, what's up? I haven't gotten to see much of you lately, what with us at opposite ends of the ship." I said with a cocky grin.
Jake sighed. "Sit down. I've asked Counselor Troi to witness this for us." I sat, and there was a long pause. "Feralae, I want to step down as leader of the Animorphs."
"WHAT?" I demanded, eyes round in shock. "You can't! Jake you're the leader, none of the others are able to lead!"
"You are, Feralae you're the only other one of us who can lead. You adapt so quickly it's amazing. You have a good grasp of Andilite law, so you'll know how to deal with Starfleet if they demand Andilite technology. You have experience dealing with other races. You're creative enough to get us out of trouble. I may have brought down an Empire, but you built one. All I need to do is call a meeting and make it official."
Adapt quickly? Yeah right! True, I knew Andilite law backwards and forwards thanks to dad, but that meant nothing. Yes, I was the one who had started the United Animorphs Alliance and brought everyone together in one heart.
"Jake couldn't one of the others?" I asked.
"No, I've thought about it. Tobias doesn't have the creativity. Marco has the creativity, but he can be just as ruthless as Rachel in his own way, and that's not the kind of leader I want. Cassie would buckle under the stress, never do anything, we'd be a doormat for any species that wanted the morphing power. Rachel doesn't have the mentality, remember the Garatron Incident? She gets too arrogant. James, Craig, and Erika don't have the experience. I've already talked to Ax and Alloran, they've decided that since the Animorphs are a human creation, that humans should lead them."
That only left me. That only left me! I couldn't lead the Animorphs! That was too much! "Jake…" I begged.
"Please Feralae… I can't do it anymore. Not after I sent Rachel to kill Tom. Not after I bombed the Yeerk pool. Not after I sent James and his people to die. Not after finding Merika's body like that. I can't take it anymore."
Cassie was right about me being a Telepath, because his anguish was so keen I could feel it across the room. "Jake…I… I don't know if I can do it…"
"You have to Feralae! You're the only other one of us fit for command!"
"And what will you do now that you're abandoning us?" I demanded coldly.
That hit him like a slap to the face. But I wanted him to see what it would seem like to the rest of us. "I… I don't know… I was hoping I could join Starfleet Medical… be a doctor like my dad… make him proud of his son, not the murderer who killed all those yeerks, who sent his cousin to die killing his brother. Do you know what that's done to me Feralae? To have my cousin back but not my brother. I couldn't save him!" Tears were streaming from his eyes. He was trapped. Jake didn't want to let us down, but he also didn't want to keep going like this.
"Relax Jake. Just take a day or two off, maybe a month, you'll feel better in a couple of weeks of no stress…"
"NO!" Jake cried. "I want out! I want out of command! I can't do this anymore Feralae… Just take it all away…"
"Jake, you're not the only one who's lost loved ones in that war. Who was Merika's daughter? Who had to fight her yeerk overlord to the death, no morphing, no speed healing. There was nothing I could do, except watch her die! She took control of Visser One and threw herself on my sword! Do you know how sickening that feels?" I asked, flushing. I never talked about that incident. "You're not the only one with issues Jake. What makes you think that you have the right to just go and quit?"
"I have EVERY right to just go and quit!" Jake snarled. "I lead the team time and again! I made decision after decision to kill and risk death and I just don't want the stress anymore!"
Councilor Troi moved to speak. I shook my head. "Councilor he can't leave. Not now. When the Admirals descend on Deep Space Nine or the Enterprise to take our morphing powers, powers that they could never truly understand, who is going to face up to them?"
"You are!" Jake growled. "Because at the next meeting I'm going to step down, and the next meeting is after lunch. Feralae, you can either take up command of the Animorphs or you can leave us leaderless."
"You can't just run away from this!" I protested. "None of us can! From the moment we woke up in this dimension our destiny was decided for us!"
"Destiny, bitter, nasty word. Well forget destiny. She can go suck a dick." Jake growled.
"Jake language!" Deanna and I chorused.
"Look, Jake, why don't you come down to my quarters and we can talk about this." Deanna replied.
"NO!" Jake snapped. "I will not be talked out of my decision."
"We'll vote on a new leader." I told him. "I will not lead. I don't want to any more than you do." Jake looked at me, this empty, haunted look.
I spent the morning working on the language lesson that Major Kira had set for me. But my heart wasn't in it. Lunch came and went. The other Animorphs filed in.
Jake sat next to Picard in the meeting. The only officers at the meeting were the captain, the councilor, and Commander Riker. "I've already discussed this with Feralae and Councilor Troi." Jake said, standing to speak. "I'm stepping down as leader of the Animorphs. I'm putting Feralae in charge."
"WHAT THE FUCK?" Marco demanded. James and Craig were right onhis heals.
But Erika shook her head. "Okay, then who's the leader?"
"I want Feralae to lead, but she doesn't seem to want to." Jake told us.
"That's right." I told them.
"Why not?" Picard asked. "I think you'd make a great leader."
"It's not a matter of how good I'd be, it's the fact that I don't want everything to rest on me."
"The problem." Marco stated. "Is that each of us has a major psychological flaw that would prevent us from being a good leader in the long run." He sighed. "Like me for example, I'm good at seeing the best line from A to B, but when I get down to it I forget morality for the sake of 'will it work.' And Cassie's exactly the opposite. She'd forsake, 'Will it work' for morality."
"And Tobias doesn't have the personality for it." Cassie pointed out. "He made that clear the very first day that he doesn't want to lead."
I have already spoken about this with Jake. Neither Alloran or I shall lead. Ax stated. And we shall abide by the decisions of the others. This is a human matter. Ax said calmly.
"What about Rachel?" Riker asked, curious.
"Rachel has proven that she can't lead." Jake pointed out. "There was an incident where I had to go out of town for a week or so. In the battle that happened after I was gone, Rachel made a huge mistake, twice. She ordered us to go in all as the same animal. First as Cheetahs, and we made it out alive. But the second time she had us morph polar bears, and Cassie was nearly trapped in morph and infested." Jake explained. "Too much."
Riker nodded, taking in the incident. "Some people just aren't born to it." Picard said with a sigh.
"What about James, Craig or Erika?" Riker asked.
"Yeah, what about us?" Erika asked.
"I don't think you three have the experience, but if you want to put it to a vote…" Jake said.
"SAY WHAT?" James demanded. "Jake I thought you knew us better than that! Who were the ones who did all the grunt work? The three of us led groups of ten Animorphs each, way more than you EVER did! And we came out with what… two casualties? Only two dead up until the final battle."
"And then you lost everyone." Marco pointed out.
"Thanks to Jake we did!" Craig pointed out. "It was necessary to victory, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't stink like a skunk with a cucumber up his…"
"Language Craig!" Erika growled.
The tension in the room was enough to choke a… well… a really tense thing. I wasn't going to let this go. "Let James lead then, if he's so eager to."
"If we put this to a vote I know EXACTLY how this will go." Erika argued. "The three of us will each vote for ourselves and everybody else will vote for Feralae. I'm sorry, but in this situation putting the matter to a vote won't work."
Jake nodded. "Which is why I wanted Feralae in charge."
"Alright! FINE! You can put me in charge! I won't like it, but I'll do it." I growled.
Marco applauded. "Hurray for Feralae!"
"Ah, the drama, the tension!" Proclaimed Q from where he lounged on the table. He sat up and took the chair next to Ax. "I LEAVE YOU FOR ONE LOUSY DAY AND YOU MESS THINGS UP!" He cried, practically freaking out.
"Q, get out!" Picard yelled.
"BUT JAKE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE LEADER!" He whined. "Feralae's got enough on her plate!"
"Q, somehow I can't shake the feeling that you're following our actions the way my aunt follows soap operas." Marco said, rolling his eyes.
"My mind's made up." Jake replied. "She's a lot smarter than I am."
"Feralae can also be incredibly naïve." Q replied. "I think you're making a mistake, but hey, I'm only omnipotent, what do I know?" And he disappeared.
"Jake, take over if you suddenly regret it." Feralae told him. "You can take command any time."
Jake nodded. "I won't, but thank you."
And with that I became leader of our merry band.