A/N : Big thanx to everyone who reviewed; Moonjava, RoleModelGirlie, SlaYeRGiRLkaL, sheilamarie, Anyank0705, bella-lover, Demonica Mills, Brunettepet, WhynotWho, Celestia Nailo, wigi, and Sydney. An extra big thanx to fashiongrrl for the extra big review, you rock sweetie, and I love your new fic! B/R is bad, I see everyone agrees on that, so it ends here...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see Chapter 1)

Chapter 16

When Buffy woke up the next morning she was a little relieved to be free of Riley's embrace. What worried her slightly was that the clock said it was barely seven-thirty, and her fiancé was nowhere in the room. With a frown she got up from the bed, pulled on her robe and wandered through to the kitchen, yawning all the way. She was attempting to tame her wild hair when she found Riley putting a mug and plate in the sink.

"What's going on?" she asked, blinking to clear her vision. Her fiancé looked decidedly shifty about something.

"I'm sorry, honey" he apologised as he came around the counter towards her, "I didn't mean to wake you" he said, taking her unawares when he kissed her lips.

"You didn't" she told him as he pulled away, "Wake me I mean, I just wondered where you were"

"Bed's too big without me, huh?" he smiled suggestively and Buffy shuddered involuntarily. Last night had been so wrong and she felt sick just rembering how she'd thought of nothing but Spike as Riley made love to her.

"What are you doing up so early?" she asked tiredly, replaying what she'd said immediately after and praying her fiancé kept any innuendoes to himself.

"I have to be at work early" he told her awkwardly as he searched for his keys, "I'm making the pick-up instead of Xander, the boss kinda changed things around yesterday"

"Pick-up?" Buffy frowned, "You mean you're not coming home tonight?" she checked, recalling that Willow had mentioned Xander spending Thursday night away this week. Now it seemed Riley had been given the task instead.

"I'm sorry, baby" he apologised, finally locating his keys and stuffing them in his pocket, "I was going to tell you last night but...well, you were kinda distracting me" he grinned as he stood in front of her once again and ran his hand down her arm. She flinched away and looked daggers at him.

"It's the last night we get to spend together before our wedding day and you're not even going to be here?" she half-yelled, knowing she should be relieved about getting rid of him for one night but finding she was just so angry.

"I said I'm sorry Buffy" he repeated, "but I have to do this"

"Oh yeah, of course" the blonde laughed humourlessly, "'Cos obviously your job is more important than me!" she complained.

"Buffy, come on" Riley said grabbing her arm when she turned to walk away, "Don't be like this, it's not fair"

"Get off me!" she told him sharply pulling her arm from his grasp, "Is it fair that my fiance is abandoning me two days before our wedding?" she snapped and something dawned in Riley's eyes.

"Buffy" his voice softened, "Sweetheart, I'm coming back tomorrow" he told her, but she still wouldn't look at him. He carefully reached out to her and turned her around, feeling awful when he saw tears in her eyes.

"I would never leave you, not now" he swore to her, "I'm not him, I'm not William" he told her firmly. Buffy looked up at him and nodded silently before turning away and walking back to the bedroom.

"Tell me something I don't know" she whispered shakily to herself as she went, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Back in the kitchen Riley sighed, running a hand through his hair. Sometimes he didn't understand his future-wife, but he loved her and that was all that mattered. All these mood swings and stuff, he could live with that for a few months. If he suspected correctly, their happy marriage might be a happy family faster than most people suspected. What better way to explain Buffy's strange moods, crying fits, aversion to sex and then sudden want for him last night, than pregnancy.

Buffy decided enough was enough. Moping about William was ridiculous and taking out her anger on Riley was worse. She really had to figure out what she was going to do with her life and get on with it. She sat on the bedroom floor, the bottom drawer of her dresser pulled out next to her as she pulled out a multitude of photographs and different items, all linked to the memories that Buffy treasured.

An old shoebox, secreted in the back corner of the drawer was her biggest secret. Riley had no idea but it contained some of her best memories of High School, namely all her special items and photos linked to her relationship with William Anderson.

Their Prom photo, the cinema ticket from their first date at the movies, a couple of silly love letters he'd written her and various little notes they'd tossed back and forth in class.

The words she read made her laugh and cry at the same time, typical sappy lines of love and promises of eternity spent together. One piece of paper had a poem on it, and Buffy gasped at the sight of it. She hadn't realised she still had it but it was a verse Will had written especially for her eighteenth birthday. He'd apologised if it wasn't very good, but promised the words came from the heart. She'd cried joyful tears and told him it was beautiful, she hadn't even had to lie.

Wiping tears from her cheeks, Buffy folded the piece of paper carefully and moved on through the box of treasures. More photographs, a couple of her in her wedding dress, just an hour before William broke her heart. How memories of the same person could bring such happiness and such sadness at the same time was just unfortunate, but Buffy knew if she could turn back time and start again, she'd do everything exactly the same. She couldn't give up the good times she and William had, just to avoid the hurt that came later.

As she re-read the final words he wrote for her, the letter she'd first seen on her wedding day, Buffy was crying all over again. Her body heaved with great sobs of agony as she gripped her old engagement ring in her hand, tears staining the paper she read from til her vision blurred too much to see.

She wasn't crying for the day he left before. She knew what she felt now was the pain of having him back just briefly before he walked out of her life a second time. On top of that, she was set to marry a man she would never love enough, with no way out unless she planned on doing to Riley exactly what had been done to her. She didn't have it in her to put another through the agony she had suffered. What was there left to do but cry?

At seven o'clock there was a knock on the door but Buffy ignored it, she wasn't in the mood for company. She'd packed away her memories a couple of hours ago and though she'd managed to convince herself she was over it all, that she could get on with her life now, it wasn't entirely true. She hadn't been able to part with any items from her box of the past, instead just mostly wishing she could go back to those days when she was so happy.

The person beyond the door persisted in their knocking and Buffy sighed as she got up from the couch to answer it. It was probably Riley, found a way to get the stuff for the site and get back so he didn't have to spend a night away from her. Of course that meant she was supposed to be grateful and want to have sex with him, but after last night...She so wanted to love him and be close to him, but she realised now that she was never going to feel for him what she felt for...

"Spike?" she gasped as she opened the door and found him standing there. She would have been thrilled to see him were it not for the fact she was so confused.

He didn't look much like Spike anymore. Where his hair had been bleached blond to within an inch of it's life just a couple of days ago, it was now the blond/light brown that it used to be before. He was out of his black uniform, Buffy noticed and with some shock she recalled he was wearing almost exactly what he'd worn on their first date. He held in his hands a dozen red roses, again the same as the first date they'd shared.

"Who's Spike?" he asked her, making her frown, "Really Buffy I thought you'd get my name right on our first date" he smirked, but Buffy shook her head, and made to close the door. Spike's foot got in the way.

"Come on, luv" he begged, "I'm not asking for much"

She relented and opened the door again, considering what he was saying, despite her own better judgement. She'd missed him being around the past couple of days and she really didn't like herself much for it. All those memories, everything she'd been thinking about today. She wanted her past back and here was a major part of it, standing on her doorstep, almost as if he'd read her mind.

"What harm will it do to relive the good times for a few hours?" William asked her, with a tilt of his head and a look in his eyes that Buffy swore was some kind of thrall because in seconds she was telling him to come in and wait, she had to change if they were going out.

With a grin on his face that threatened to split it in two, Spike came into the apartment, handing the roses he held to Buffy.

"They're beautiful" she smiled, breathing in their sweet scent.

"Not as beautiful as you" he replied immediately, and Buffy was in two minds whether to believe him or put it down to the fact he was re-enacting their first date, because hadn't he said something similar back then?

She went to the kitchen to put her flowers in the sink, and then told Spike he could sit down before she headed for the bedroom to change. He took a seat on the sofa and glanced around the room. The smile on his face just would not shift even when he spotted a framed picture on the table of Buffy and Riley holding each other close. He knocked it forward so it fell face down on the table with a clunk.

"Oops" he commented to himself, trying not to chuckle. He knew Buffy loved him more than that stupid ponce, and tonight was going to prove that point, once and for all. It'd taken some planning to get tonight arranged, but after Buffy's repeated comments about him not being the man he used to be, Spike had decided to show her she was wrong. Bit of hair dye, different clothes, a visit to the boss of the Espresso Pump, and the whole thing was set.

"Okay, let's get this over with" he heard her say and he turned to see her exiting the bedroom, not only in a change of clothes but with her hair and make-up all done too.

"Bloody hell, luv, you look stunning" he told her, unable to believe she'd managed to do all that she had in just a few minutes. Anya would never leave the house til she'd applied a lorry load of products to her face and hair, and changed her outfit at least six times to find the most appropriate one. He should've remembered his Buffy was too beautiful to need much time to get presentable.

She coloured slightly at his compliment but tried to hide it under annoyance.

"If we're going, let's go" she pressed, "before my sanity gets back from vacation and I change my mind about this"

"Your wish is my command" Spike smirked, as they headed out of the front door.

On the other side he held out a hand to her and she looked at it like it might be a snake about to bite her, before glancing up at his face. It was William, and it was their first date, that was the game tonight. What harm could it do, it was just for a few hours? With a slight smile, she put her hand in his, and they set off together.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : See, now we're getting into some Spuffyness! Please review and I'll try to get the next Spuffy-filled chapter done asap.