Chapter 4

Sirius cringed as the door opened. "Not again," he thought as he inwardly groaned. However, much to his unpleasant surprise, it was his father. Slowly, he moved towards the bed that his son was lying on without saying anything.

Slightly confused, but with a growing sense of dread, the boy pulled the blanket tightly around his slender body. Upon his arrival Sirius had been placed in a room with no room and a quick beating. Shortly after that, his clothing had mysteriously vanished, for no reason as far as he could tell.

What did his father want at nigh, though? Sirius thought he knew. Although he often came into the room during the day, he avoided his son at night.

Sirius's fear increased when his father sat on the bed and began stroking his arm. The touch sent shivers down the boy's spine. Then, almost gently, the man turned the boy over onto his stomach. At this point, Sirius panicked and started to jump up. Before he could though, the man placed a body-binding curse on him, thus effectively freezing him in his place.

Thoroughly terrified, Sirius felt hands running down his smooth back, caressing his skin. "Such a pretty little boy, aren't you," the man whispered, his mouth close to Sirius's ear. "The only thing you were ever good for was looking at. Stupid little fuck. You're nothing more than a fuck toy, a whore. I'll bet you sleep around with every Gryffindor who asks. "

Sirius felt tears welling up as his father pulled away from him. He wasn't a whore. Behind him he could hear his father stripping out of his clothing. Panic once again settled into the pit of his stomach, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Moments later, Sirius felt his father's bare flesh rub against his back. "I'm going to teach you something that will come in handy soon," the man said.

Mr. Black began caressing his son's back. The entire time Sirius was thinking, "Not this, not this, not this. God, anything but this."

Before he knew it, his father was rolling himself onto his son's back. In one quick movement, the boy's father violated him in the worst way possible. Sirius let out a scream of pain, one long heart wrenching cry that screamed out, begging for anyone to just help him in any way. No one did though. No one ever helped him.

After what seemed like hours later to the exhausted, abused boy, Mr. Black finally left his son, dressing hurriedly and taking the body binding charm off of Sirius. After he left though, Sirius remained frozen where he was. He could not comprehend what had just happened to him. Never before had he felt such pain. Not even during the worst beating he had ever had, which was when he had first become a Gryffindor.

After a while, Sirius grew tired of lying in a pool of his own blood. So shaking and barely able to stand up, Sirius walked to the bathroom and threw up all of the contents of his already mostly empty stomach. He had not been fed much recently.

He quietly crawled back to his bed and lay down again, much to exhausted to do anything else. Moments later, the door opened again. Sirius looked up, mildly surprised, but too drained of energy to do anything. There, in the doorway, stood Mr. Black and another man, around the age of 20. Now confused, Sirius sat up, wincing in pain.

"There he is," muttered Mr. Black. "He's good enough, worth every cent you're paying for him. Possibly more"

"And you can guarantee this how?" the man asked. He looked over Sirius as if looking over an animal that he was interested in purchasing. "He is a very good looking boy, but ugliness can easily be concealed."

"Trust me Jacob; I would never try to give you a bad deal. He'll do whatever you ask, and will easily submit to you with a quick beating." With those words said, Sirius's father left the boy alone with Jacob. Jacob moved forward and sat next to the boy. Immediately he began kissing him roughly. Shocked, Sirius tried to pull away. The man, however, would not allow it and slapped Sirius hard across the face. "You're mine now, bitch. From now on, I own you and will have my way with you." Roughly he pushed him down onto the bed and climbed on top of his bruised chest. Slowly, he admired the boy underneath him. "Your father was right. You are a pretty one."

Getting off of Sirius, Jacob rolled him over, easily resisting Sirius's weak attempts to get away from him. Moments later, Sirius was screaming in intense pain again, clutching to the bed sheet as if it was his only chance for survival. "You're mine now," Jacob's voice rang through his head.

Sirius woke up screaming in his bed. Around him, the other boys were startled out of their sleep. James, however, was the only one who got up to comfort his friend.

"Sirius," came James's urgent voice from his bed, "what's wrong? What happened? Are you alright?"

Trying to calm his breathing down, Sirius just ignored his best friend. How stupid am I? he wondered angrily. He couldn't believe that he had forgotten to place a silencing charm around his bed.

The curtains around his bed pushed open and James Potter's face was suddenly before Sirius, looking worried and tired. "You are going to tell me what is wrong now," he said, sounding determined, worried, tired, and sad all at once. It hurt him to know that the person that he loved was suffering from some unknown tortures.

"I can't tell you," Sirius said, breaking down again, sobbing. "Everything is just so screwed up. I mean, I'm a talentless mess, I'm turning your life into a mess, and life just sucks! I don't know why you even bother with me. All I'll ever do is bring you down."

"That is not true," replied James, somewhat angrily. He also hated how his friend always degraded himself, as if he weren't worth the energy. "You are an amazing person who has many talents."

"No I'm not," argued Sirius, now becoming hysterical. "Amazing people don't allow themselves to be beat up constantly. Amazing people don't have parents who hate them because they don't conform to their every word. Amazing people don't give in easily when they are faced with conflicts and threats. Amazing people don't allow themselves to be raped and treated like fuck toys. Amazing people don't fall in love with their best friends. Amazing people don't-" Sirius stopped abruptly, suddenly realized what he had just said.

James looked at Sirius, and felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. "Raped?" he thought, very worried all of a sudden. Had Sirius been raped? It made sense, now that he looked over the past events of the day. Sirius had continuously flinched at each little sudden noise, touch, and word.

Sirius was chewing on his lower lip and looking nervously at his best friend. Not only had he just admitted to being raped, but he had also mentioned his love for James. However, it would appear that James was only dwelling on the first part. "Now he'll never approve of me. I'm so screwed up. He probably thinks that I'm weak and pathetic and stupid and...maybe I am a whore. Maybe he thinks that."

"Sirius, who raped you," James finally asked, looking carefully at Sirius, trying to suppress his look of pure fury.

"It doesn't matter," muttered Sirius, looking down at his lap, trying to stop the tears that wanted to flow so freely.

"Of course it does. Someone hurt you and they should not be allowed to get away with it so easily. Was it your father?"

Sirius opened his mouth and then closed it. Instead, he nodded curtly and then shook his head, effectively confusing James. Just when he was going to ask, Sirius whispered, "When I got home this summer, my parents told me that they had been having some financial troubles and that we would all have to work over the summer. It turns out that my job was being the personal slut to Jacob McCallister. Before that started, though, my father came into my room and...and....." Sirius sniffled, shook his head and then continued. "Then every night after that, with a few exceptions, Jacob would come to my room and abuse, rape, and hurt me in any way possible."

James,at this point, was completely speechless. His friend had gone through so much and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He couldn't even give him a comforting a hug because he would most likely have a bad flashback. Instead of pushing for gory details about his experiences, James decided to ask what his nightmare had been about.

"It was about the time my father had raped me. It was the first time anything like that had ever happened. Despite the belief of the entire school, I was a virgin before this summer."

Speechless once again, something suddenly struck James. Amazing people don't fall in love with their best friends. Could Sirius possibly...? It definitely sounded like it. However, then did not sound like the correct time to bring that up.

After a few moments of silence, Sirius whispered hesitantly, "James, would you...um, stay with me tonight? I know it's kind of awkward, but...."

James nodded his head quickly. "Of course I'll stay with you tonight. And tomorrow I'm going to escort you to the hospital wing because you could be hurt and not know it."

Sirius would have protested, but James had just lay down next to him, and wrapped his arms around him in a friendly hug. Maybe he didn't hear me, thought Sirius, almost hopefully as he drifted off to sleep.

As James watched Sirius fall asleep, he muttered softly, "I'm so sorry Sirius. Why do you have to suffer so much while I'm living the high life?" Drifting off to sleep himself, James said an "I love you" and then fell asleep.

A.N. erm, I'm really sorry that that was really bad. I've never written anything like this before, so I have absolutely no idea where all of that came from. Uh, thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you like it.