A/N : Thanx for the latest reviews; Moonjava, SlaYeRGiRLkaL, RoleModelGirlie, sheilamarie, Dark Drusilla, wigi, PK, bella-lover, Demonica Mills, Shadowhawke, spikes-slayer29590, glad you're all still reading and liking this fic! Here's some more, and all packed with Spuffy goodness!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 17
Buffy felt like she'd slipped through a time warp as she sat in the movie theatre with her popcorn in her hands. The movie on the screen in front of her was just the same as it had been years ago on her first date with William Anderson who sat beside her now. To both her amusement and slight horror he'd used the stereotypical teenage boy move of yawning in order to get his arm around her that night, but tonight he didn't bother disguising the fact he wanted to touch her. She knew she should keep some distance between them. This was nothing more than a game, a re-enactment of times past that would be swiftly forgotten tomorrow morning, at least that was Buffy's plan.
Spike had a few plans of his own and so far they were going pretty well. He was a little worried that Buffy would refuse to come out with him tonight, despite the fact he was certain she still loved him. The way she looked at him before, the way she kissed him and the look in her eyes as she did so. There was no way in hell she was that good an actress, she definitely still felt deeply for him, as he did for her. He glanced at her in the dark, face illuminated by the movie screen. It could so easily be the first date they were play acting. She'd hardly changed at all, he realised, still as beautiful as the day he met her and the day he left her behind.
Buffy felt William's eyes on her but she wouldn't look back at him. They were incredibly close in the cinema seats and his arm around her shoulders kept her from moving away. His fingers played absently with the ends of her hair and she wondered if he realised he was doing it, or what he was doing to her just with this simple touch. Shivers went down her spine, everytime his fingertips brushed the bare skin at her shoulder, and twice she had trouble swallowing her popcorn because of it.
The credits began to roll at the end of the movie and Buffy was both pleased and saddened that she now had to move. It was nice just sitting here in the comfortable silence and darkness, her boyfriends arm around her...she mentally kicked herself. William was not her boyfriend anymore, they were not sixteen years old and this wasn't a fairytale, she reminded herself sternly, this was reality and she had a fiancé that she was due to marry the day after tomorrow. She got up from her seat sharply and Spike did the same, following her out to the foyer where the lights seemed too bright in comparison to the gloom in which the movie was shown.
"So" she sighed, putting her popcorn packet into the trash, "Are we done?" she checked, "This little 'date' over?" she air-quoted.
"Only if you really want it to be, luv" Spike told her, fidgeting awkwardly like he used to. Buffy couldn't figure out whether he was just play-acting his former-self or whether he really was kind of nervous about being out with her tonight.
"Did you have other plans for us?" she asked suspiciously and the smirk on his face said it all.
"Come on" he urged, getting hold of her hand and dragging her to the doors.
It was by now pouring with rain, as it had been threatening to do all day, "How fast can you run these days, Summers?" Spike asked as they looked out of the glass doors at the downpour. Neither of them had a substantial coat or anything since the evening was warm enough, just wet in seemed.
"Faster than you if I remember it right" Buffy told him with a look.
"Alright then" he grinned, suddenly bolting out the door with her hand still in his. He almost pulled her arm clean out the socket but she found she didn't care as they splashed down the street at an alarming rate. They laughed like kids as they turned the corner and sought shelter in the doorway of the Espresso Pump. Buffy wasn't aware that this was where Spike had meant to bring them all along.
"Come on" he said, tiling his head at the door, "Let's go in, I'll buy you one of those fancy latte things that you like so much"
"Okay" she nodded without thinking and he opened the door for her like a gentleman. As they came inside, Mr Donatello, the elderly owner, came running out from behind the counter. He didn't actually work in the shop much anymore, his son ran the place for him, but occasionally he did a shift when he was needed, like tonight it seemed.
"Oh, my two favourite customers" he exclaimed, "It has been too long since I see you together" he grinned, as he came towards them, "William, my boy, where have you been?" he asked.
"Oh y'know, here and there" he shrugged, feeling awkward as his time away from Sunnydale was questioned. He didn't want Buffy to think about all that tonight. He wanted her to remember the good times they'd had before, the love they'd shared.
"Er, Mr D, Marco reserved a table for me, I think" he said with a look and Buffy frowned.
"You reserved a table at a coffee shop?" she asked him, "Why would...oh" she stopped short when Mr Dontello led them over to what was most definitely 'their' table. William had asked her out at this table, and they'd sat in the same place on their first date, and shared their first kiss. As they sat down, Buffy took in the thin vase of roses set in the middle of their table alone before shooting a look at Spike.
"What?" he asked innocently, but the innocence didn't reach his eyes.
"You know what" Buffy accused but she couldn't be angry about it. What he was doing would be incredibly sweet and romantic, if not for the fact she was engaged to be married to another man and her wedding was in less than forty-eight hours!
Spike ordered drinks for them, her usual and his, and Buffy kept her eyes on the table, the window, the decor, anything but him.
"So, I s'pose you figured out that I planned us coming here" he said, almost guiltily.
"Kind of, yeah" Buffy smiled, making the mistake of looking at him like she'd promised herself she wouldn't. Seriously, this guys eyes should have some kind of warning on them, she thought as he caught her gaze. She knew if she looked too long she could drown in those bright blue pools that could see directly into her soul without even trying.
"Why?" she asked more softly than she meant to and he frowned.
"Why, what?" he checked, not really understanding. She glanced away in attempt to regain some focus and actually remember what she was asking anyway.
"Why tonight?" she clarified, "Why set all this up, the movie, the table...what are you trying to achieve?"
Spike knew if he told the truth now the whole night would get blown to hell. Not that his intentions weren't completely honourable. He loved her after all, wasn't like he was just after a quick shag before he disappeared off into the night. He was in this for the long haul, the whole works, but if he told her that she'd get all shirty and irrational about it, reminding him she was marrying that ponce Riley Finn. So what answer could Spike give to her question without getting yelled at or possibly smacked in the face again?
"Buffy" he said, taking her hand in his across the table, "Tonight is because...because the night we went on our first date was probably the first time in my whole life that I wasn't afraid of what I was, what I said, how I acted. I mean, yeah, petrified in the beginning" he admitted with a shy smile she hadn't seen in years, "but then I realised you'd willingly agreed to this date with me, you wanted to be with me. Nobody ever loved me like you did Buffy, and even if it's just for one last night, even if it is all make believe, I needed this night, to remind me such love was possible"
As he gave his answer to her question, she seemed to become hypnotised by his eyes and beautiful words combined. They were now just a fraction of an inch away from each other and the intensity of the moment made Buffy's heart pound in a way it hadn't since the day William first walked out of her life.
With just the slightest of movements, Spike put his lips to hers in a tender kiss that lasted just a few seconds. He pulled back a little then, anticipating harsh words or possibly a slap, but neither came. He was stunned but happily so when her arm snaked around his neck, pulling him to her so she could kiss him again. This kiss went on longer, deeper than the first and more intense.
A moment later, Buffy pulled away, breathing a little erratically and blushing when she realised what she'd done. Her fingers went subconsciously to her lips and she glanced away.
"We shouldn't..." she said awkwardly, "I shouldn't have, with the kissing, and...I'm sorry" she rambled, staring into her coffee cup and stirring the remaining contents around so she had something else to do.
"Buffy?" Spike reached across the table to her and she was on her feet in a instant.
"I need to go" she said, grabbing her purse and pulling on her jacket, "It was fun but...I have to go" she repeated moving towards the door. Quickly he got to his feet, threw some money on the table and hurried behind her, pulling his jacket on as he went.
The rain had stopped just as quickly as it had started and Buffy was a little disappointed not to have the excuse to run.
"Hey" his too familiar voice said behind her as his fingers closed around her arm. She turned back and looked at him, oh so gorgeous in the half-light. All she wanted was to turn back time, be sixteen again so it would be okay for him to kiss her again.
"I told you" she made herself say, "I have to go"
"Let me walk you home?" he tried, and both of them seemed to hold their breath until she gave an answer.
"Okay" she nodded, finally pulling her arm away and turning to walk down the street with him at her side. Though they were silent the whole way, it wasn't entirely uncomfortable, a little awkward though since both were having thoughts they had no right to have about the other.
They got as far as the door of her building and still Spike didn't leave her side, glad Buffy never asked him too. He walked with her into the building and they rode the elevator up to her floor. Outside her door they were forced to face each other again, face what they were thinking and feeling.
"Tonight was...fun" Buffy admitted, "I know you put a lot of effort into making it special, and it was sweet of you, but..."
"No" Spike interrupted, making her look up suddenly from her shoes, "No buts tonight, pet, please" he begged her, "Let's just leave it at the complimentary part, yeah?"
"William" she sighed, wondering if he knew just how difficult he was making this for her. She sensed even he wasn't really aware of it.
"Y'know you're the only woman I know that can make me feel so many different things just by saying my name like that" he shook his head, at how pathetic it seemed, "Only one who can make me feel like such a complete ponce with just one look too"
"You're not...whatever that is" she told him with a smile, "You're...you're just William" she shrugged, not having any other words to explain.
"That all you got to say?" he asked desperately, hoping for something more to go on, some sign that if he kissed her again he might manage to walk away still in one piece, or maybe not be asked to walk away at all...
"I don't know what you want me to say, Will" she sighed tiredly, "Or I do and you know that I can't..." she shook her head, reaching to put the key in the lock of her door.
"Can't or won't?" he asked, stepping in closer, their bodies mere inches apart as he put a hand on hers as it pushed the door open slightly.
"Don't" she said softly and entirely unconvincingly, the look in her eyes just begging him to kiss her like she wished he would, like he had in the coffee shop.
Buffy's head spun as her wish was granted and Spike brought his lips to hers once again. It was wrong, she knew that, but she started to forget why as his arms slid around her body and pulled her tight to him as the kiss went on. One of her arms curled round his neck, as the other pushed the door further open and they stumbled into the apartment. Spike kicked the door shut when they reached the other side, spinning around to pin Buffy against it. She gasped as his hand slid up inside her top, the other caught in her hair as his lips left hers and travelled around her neck.
"Oh God" she breathed, knowing this was so wrong and yet wanting him so badly it hurt.
"I love you, Buffy" he said against her skin, "Love you so much it's almost killed me to keep away" he admitted, bringing his head up to look at her. Her breathing was erratic and her face flushed as he looked into her eyes for some kind of answer, since she seemed incapable of forming words.
"I...I don't..." she stammered, "I love you" she said eventually, practically throwing herself back into his arms and kissing him hard. Every sensible consideration had left her mind, every conscious thought in fact as she let him invoke such feelings within her like she'd never felt before. He loved her, even if he hadn't have said it she could feel it, in every kiss and caress. At the same time there was an intense passion that she'd never experienced before, not even with William. That she suspected came from his experience over the past four years. That thought alone almost made her stop what was happening, but she just couldn't bring herself to actually pull away. This was too good.
She wasn't sure how she ended up with her back against the bedroom door, one hand helping Spike push his jacket from his shoulders, while the other desperately tried to work the handle and open the door. A moment later he was pushing her gently back into the mattress, fingers working buttons and clasps, as they desperately fought to relieve each other of their clothes.
When they made love it was just that, pure and total love for each other proven in the most exquisite of ways. It was everything their first time had been, and more besides. Raw passion and true love perfectly combined from beginning to glorious end.
"I love you" he whispered in her ear as they lay spent together afterwards.
"I love you too" she admitted as tears welled up in her eyes, "I really love you"
"Oh pet" he said when he noticed she was crying, "I never meant to hurt you"
"You didn't" she promised him, neither physically nor emotionally had he done that tonight and she proved it with a tender kiss in the dark, "You made me feel so...I can't even explain" she said, shaking as he wrapped his arms around her, "This is what it's supposed to be like" she realised aloud.
"That it is, pet" he agreed, still reeling from what had happened. He'd wondered if it might, though he held out no real hopes of getting more than a snog out of the one he loved tonight. What had happened had obviously thrilled him but he never expected to feel what he had. He'd slept with women, he'd slept with Buffy once, but it had never been like this.
As he realised she was falling asleep in his embrace, Spike pulled Buffy tighter to him and kissed the top of her head. He knew he loved her, he'd known all along for years, but now they'd both proved it without a doubt. He closed his eyes, a smile playing on his lips as he let sleep claim him too. They were truly in love and this time it was for keeps.
To Be Continued...
A/N2 : See, when I promise Spuffy, I always deliver, just takes a while sometimes! And yeah, I know, I could end the story here all happy, but it cannot be that simple y'know! Two chapters to go guys, and in the meantime your reviews would be very much appreciated, thanks.