Chapter 5

The next morning, Sirius woke up and immediately panicked. There was another presence next to him. However, he immediately calmed back down when he saw that it was just James. And then he panicked again. He had told James everything, from his being raped to his love for him.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit him and he jumped out of bed and into the bathroom. James woke up with the sudden movement of the bed, and Remus woke up to the sound of the door slamming. James and Remus shared a look when they heard vomiting from behind the door.

"What happened last night?" Remus asked, looking at James questioningly.

James opened his mouth, only to close it again. He knew that it was not his story to tell, and had a feeling that Sirius would not appreciate him spilling his secret. So instead he just shook his head. "I can't tell you without breaking every boundary of friendship. It's his secret to tell, and I'm not going to blow that."

Remus nodded and watched as James got up to check on Sirius. Tentatively, he knocked on the door and pushed it open. Sirius was sitting there leaning against the wall, trying to calm down his labored breathing. He had a glass of water in his hand and seemed to have cleaned himself up rather quickly.

"Are you alright?" James asked, forgetting that Sirius was paranoid to touch and touching his arm. Sirius flinched back slightly, but nodded anyway.

"I'm fine, just a little bit…ill. Very icky feeling, if you've ever felt the urge to throw up your entire stomach."

James raised his eyebrows at his friend's sarcasm. He definitely was not happy with what was happening to him. "You're going to the Hospital Wing right now, no objections. Come on." And with that, James pulled the boy to his feet and dragged him out of the room, giving Remus a significant look.

"Can you really do this legally?" he asked as James dragged him down to the hospital wing.

"Yes, and I am," was James's short answer. He knew that he was probably hurting his friend with the tight grip that he had on his arm, but he'd rather hurt him slightly than have him suffering later for not going at all. If he loosened his grip, then Sirius could pull away from him easily. He may have been slightly smaller than James, but he was still really strong.

Sirius was nervous. He really didn't want anyone to know what had happened to him. He did not want to see the looks of pity. There was also the fact that he had mentioned his love for James. He was terrified about his friend's answer.

So far, though, James hadn't mentioned anything. Maybe he had forgotten entirely. No such luck.

"You know," James said, as they neared the Hospital Wing, "I love you too."

Sirius looked at James as if he'd suddenly gone mad. For an instant, James was afraid of what Sirius would say, but there was no way he could have mistranslated his friend's confession. For a moment, Sirius hesitated and then replied, "I love you too, but how do I know that you're not just saying that to make me feel better?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Sirius pondered over this question for a moment. No, James never had and most likely never would lie to him. "How could you love someone as screwed up as me?" he asked meekly.

James stopped at this point and spun Sirius so that he was looking directly at him. "You are not screwed up. Some unfortunate things happened in your life that should have been prevented. None of what happened was your fault. You can not possibly place the blame on yourself for what those bastards did to you. And you didn't allow them to rape you, that's why it's called rape."

Sirius looked at the floor and then back up at James. There was love and admiration shining in his eyes for Sirius. They were emotions that Sirius had seen before, but had never been on the receiving end of. They were emotions that Sirius knew he wanted, but assumed that he could not have.

"Come on, love. You need to see Madame Pomfery."

This time, Sirius didn't even resist in the slightest bit. He followed James quite willingly. As they walked, James pulled Sirius close to him and Sirius gladly snuggled up to him. Finally he felt loved and wanted. It was a strange feeling really, but not unpleasant.

All in all, they arrived at the Hospital Wing much too soon for either of their liking, but James knew how important it was for Sirius to see Madame Pomfery and even Sirius was resigned to seeing her.

Before Sirius went in, he turned to James and muttered, "I really would rather you not go in with me. Please, I need to go in by myself."

James nodded, but did not leave until he saw Sirius go in and get Madame Pomfery.

Inside, Sirius was explaining quickly what had happened during the summer. The woman listened with growing horror and immediately set him down on a bed.

"I know this is going to be awkward but I need to check for any tears that aren't going to heal by themselves," she said softly. Sirius's eyes grew wider, but he nodded and let her inspect him. It turned out that he was badly beaten everywhere on his body and would need some stitches in some places.

Right before he left, he told the nurse about his throwing up that morning. Immediately Madame Pomfery thought of one thing. "Were you ever given any kind of potion?"

Sirius thought for a moment and then nodded. "It wasn't outright or anything, but I'm pretty sure they slipped something into my drink occasionally."

She nodded as Sirius explained and sighed. "I think you may be pregnant then."

Sirius looked at her in shock and dropped onto the bed because his knees gave out. "I'm…I can't be…that's just not, there's no way…."

She nodded again, only this time sadly. "I'm sorry," was all she could think of to say.

Sirius looked up at her and then whispered, "Please don't tell anyone."

"I'm going to have to tell the headmaster, and probably some of your professors, but past that, it's your decision to tell anyone else."

Sirius nodded and muttered a quick thank you and left.

A.N. yep, thank you for reviewing. Um…I'm trying to post these quicker now, simply because I want to. Um…yeah, thanks a bunch to my fans!