A/N : Well, here we are, end of another fic. Can't believe all four of my WIPs have ended all at the same time, they certainly didn't start altogether. Anyway, thanx to everyone who has reviewed this fic; Merideth, Demonica Mills, RoleModelGirlie, Moonjava, SlaYeRGiRLkaL, spikes-slayer29590, Dark Drusilla, bella-lover, Shadowhawke, Yutsuko, gypsy-jin, OnlyHaveEyesForYou, PK, spuffygrl, Celestia Nailo, plus all the reviewers of all the other chapters too. You all rock and I'm so pleased that you all liked this story so much, I had a great time writing it.
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 19

It had taken Buffy a couple of hours to stop crying, sort herself out and clean herself up so she was looking half-decent. It was terrible but she was actually starting to realise what she had to do. She was never going to be happy with Riley and it was doubtful she could get Spike back after the things she'd said this morning. In her mind she was slowly coming to the decision, she needed to tell Riley the truth. If he still wanted to stay with her, knowing she would always love William more, then they could talk about it, but she doubted even he could be so selfless.

As to William himself, she hoped he'd stay in Sunnydale. After what had happened between them, both the good and the bad over the past week, it was not going to be plain sailing between them, but maybe at least given time they could learn to be friends. It was all starting to work itself out in Buffy's head, becoming a little easier to deal with. Of course the easiest solution would be to pack a bag and run away whilst she had the chance, but that would make her as bad as William when he walked out on her wedding day. She would not be a hypocrite and do that to Riley the day before they were due to marry.

A tap on the door, almost too quiet to hear stole her attention away from deep life-altering thoughts that filled her head. She assumed it would be Riley since it was getting late in the morning and he was due back at any moment, she wondered though why he wouldn't just use his key and let himself in, unless he was feeling bad about their argument before he left.

"Oh" Buffy gasped when she opened the door and found Spike on the other side. He'd bleached his hair again, changed back into his black clothes, but when their eyes met she was painfully reminded that he was very much still William.

"Can I come in?" he asked flatly and she could only nod, moving aside to let him pass, "I had to see you, didn't want to" he explained, "but I had to"

"Oh William, I'm so sorry for what I said before" Buffy found herself saying as she stood before him, fighting tears, "I never meant what I said, I do love you" she swore.

Spike shook his head and looked away.

"Don't, luv" he told her without looking at her, "I can't...I won't have you saying things you don't mean just so it doesn't hurt as much"

"But I'm not" she protested, "I mean, I was before, saying things I didn't mean, but this is the truth now" she promised him. It hurt that he still couldn't look at her, and that he pushed her hands away when she reached for him.

"You don't know what the truth is, Buffy" he said, finally loking at her, hating to see tears on her cheeks and wanting so much to wipe them away, take her in his arms and tell her it was all okay, but he couldn't, "You hurt me" he told her sadly and something hardened in her eyes.

"And you hurt me" she reminded him.

"That's what it was all about, isn't it?" he said with a look, "I hurt you so you hurt me, an eye for an eye and all that, right?"

"No" Buffy frowned, "How could you think that after...everything?" she asked, looking so upset he hated himself for his accusation, but what she'd done seemed so much like revenge.

With a sigh he walked over to her, wiped away her tears with his thumbs, one hand lingering at her face. She leaned her cheek into his palm, so close to crying all over again.

"I didn't come here to fight" he told her softly, "I came here because...seems Xander thought it'd be a good idea for us to talk before I left"

"Left?" she echoed in a whisper, the lump in her throat doubling in size as two more fat tears rolled down her cheeks. His hand left her face and he turned his back on her.

"Can't stay, pet" he told her, feeling like such a ponce for wanting to cry himself, "Can't stand by and see you marry that plank you plan on gettin' wed to" he shook his head, "I gotta go, and I gotta do it now" he said, glancing back at her briefly before heading towards the door. He opened it and stepped outside and it was only then as she followed him that she noticed his bag in the hall.

"You're really going" she realised all too painfully and he nodded she was right as he hefted the bag onto his shoulder.

"At least you got fair warning this time" he told her almost in a whisper, "Can't tell the world I did you wrong this go-round, luv. You told me to go, and I am"

"But I..." she began he silenced her with a finger on her lips.

"Hush now, pet" he told her, knowing if she said she loved him again he'd cave and stay. They'd be together until her fiance got back and then she'd be in a quandry over who she loved best. He couldn't live on this merry-go-round of rotating knives, getting cut to shreds every day. Best she married her poncing fiance and had done with it, whilst he found his own way to move on, "We had fun, reliving old times, didn't we?" he smiled sadly, "but it's done now. I'll be on the bus to LA within half an hour and you, you'll make a beautiful bride tomorrow" he told her, before he finally turned to walk away.

"William!" she called as he reached the stairs and he turned back.

"Think you got me mixed up with someone else, luv" he told her, "Name's Spike"

She cried openly as he walked out on her again, a part of her knowing she should run after him, try harder to make him see she did love him, even if she wasn't sure what that meant right now. She sank to her knees just inside the apartment, crying like the world had ended, maybe hers just had.

"Buffy?" said a male voice behind her and a stab of guilt went through her heart as she realised she was disappointed to find it was Riley, "Baby, what happened?" he asked worriedly as he helped her up from the floor and she sobbed in his embrace.

"He's gone now" she cried, too mixed up to realise what she was saying and to whom.

"He?" Riley frowned, "The guy on the stairs? Your friend from before" he remembered her mentioning, "Did he hurt you?" he asked frantically, holding her away at arms length to see her face and make sure he got any answer she gave straight away.

"No, not how you think" she cried, "I hurt him, Riley I hurt him so badly"

He wracked his brain to try and remember why the guy was vaguely familar, and how somebody like that was friends with his future-wife. How had this guy got mixed up with Buffy and how had they come to hurt each other in such a way that she should be a sobbing mess because of it? All this and more spun around in Riley's head and when Buffy finally glanced up to meet his eyes, sniffing back the remnants of tears she no longer had the energy to cry she knew she had to explain.

"It was William" she said almost too quietly, "He came back"

"William" Riley echoed, hands slipping from Buffy's arms, "As in William Anderson? As in the slime ball that left you at the altar years ago?"

"It's not that simple" she shook her, "And he came back and he...and I..." she rambled incoherently. Riley looked thoughtfully at her, spotted the guilt in her face.

"Buffy" he said shakily, "He didn't...you and he didn't..."

The blonde looked up, all tear-streaked and blotchy as she faced him.

"I'm sorry" she said sincerely, "I didn't mean for it to happen" she assured him, "but..."

"But it did" Riley ground out, unable to look at her now, "Buffy, how could you...?" he asked sounding pained, "We're supposed to be getting married tomorrow, for God sakes, Buffy, you're having my baby"

"What!" she asked suddenly turning around, her eyes wide as dinner plates, "Riley, I...I'm not"

Riley wasn't sure if he felt better or worse for hearing that but all Buffy could feel right now was thouroughly stunned.

"Why would you think that?" she asked him and he shook his head absently, mouth opening and closing like a landed fish before he finally answered her.

"You were...you cried a lot, and God the mood swings" he laughed humourlessly, "When you didn't want me touching you I put it down to hormones, put all the symptoms together and..." he closed his eyes tight, feeling unmanly tears forming there, "I started to think maybe you were pregnant, and then the way you wanted me and how upset you got in the morning, it all added fuel to the fire...but it was nothing to do with me at all, was it?" he exhaled, running his fingers back through his hair as he sank down onto the couch, keeping his head in his hands.

"It was about you" Buffy assured him crouching down in front of him and trying to see his face, "I was so determined not to hurt you, Riley, you've been nothing but good to me"

"I love you" he told her as he looked up at her, knowing it was still all too true despite knowing the truth about her betrayal, "I just never realised you were lying when you told me the same thing"

"No" Buffy said almost angrily, "No, I never lied...I do love you Riley, I have for a long while now, but...but, it's not enough" she admitted tearfully, "I know it hurts you to hear it but I love William more, and I tried to stop, I did...but I can't"

"You used me" he realised and Buffy wouldn't take that from him. She brought back her hand and slapped him across the face.

"That's not fair" she snapped as she got to her feet, "I admit maybe I didn't love you like I should, I couldn't help it, but you cannot accuse me of using you"

"What would you call it Buffy?" he asked her, anger rising, "If you knew you'd never love me as much as your precious William, why did you agree to marry me?"

"Because I thought I loved you enough" she explained so frustrated by the way he seemed to refuse to understand what she was trying to say, "Maybe because I wished that I did"

"But you don't" Riley said as a statement though there was a hint of a question in there too, as if he needed to hear her say the words to truly believe it.

"No, I don't" she told him, hating the pain she was causing but knowing it was now or never, and honesty was not just the best but the only policy, "but I'll stay, if you want me too" she said, voice cracking with emotion as she subconsciously stared at the clock across the room. Ten more minutes and Spike would be gone forever.

"You really think I could marry you?" Riley almost laughed at the concept, "Knowing you'll never love me like I love you, how could I?"

"I swear I never meant to hurt you" Buffy told him, "I can't help that I still love him"

Nine minutes she noticed out of the corner of her eye.

"If you love him so damn much, why are you still standing here?" he asked, looking away, "You don't want to be with me, and talking about it isn't helping" he breathed, "Just go"

Buffy faltered just a moment before heading for the door. She turned back just briefly, offering one last apology before she ran out the door and almost tripped herself up taking the stairs two and three at a time, barefoot because it hadn't even occurred to her to put shoes on.

Relief had flooded her body when Riley told her he didn't want her to stay with him. It should've hurt but it was nothing in comparison to when William had walked away from her again. She couldn't blame him this time, he'd given her a chance to stop him but she hadn't tried hard enough, not til this moment.

The concrete streets were hard and cold but she didn't notice any pain as she slammed down the road, long skirt wooshing round her legs and tears tracks still all too visible on her cheeks as she thundered towards the nearest bus stop.

"No!" she yelled when she saw the driver close the doors when she was still a few feet away, "No, stop!" she begged as she made it, banging on the side of the vehicle until the driver took notice and re-opened the doors.

Buffy stumbled up the steps, breathing erractically as she landed barely on her feet. She looked down the bus for Spike, making to walk along the aisle, when the driver called her back.

"You need a ticket to ride, Miss" he told her, "Where are you going to?"

"That's what I'd like to know" said a voice from the street and Buffy couldn't believe her eyes when she turned and saw him standing there.

"William" she breathed, throwing herself off the bus and into his arms, a smile on her face at last. Spike caught hold of her, hugging her so tight he almost broke ribs but she was doing the same to him and neither seemed to mind. As the bus pulled away behind her, Buffy was oblivious

"You were going to stay" she said pointlessly as she pulled away just enough to look at him.

"What kind of romantic would I be if I didn't fight for you?" he smirked, pushing her hair from her face that was still marred with the tracks of tears he hated himself for causing.

"You don't need to fight" she shook her head "I don't want anymore fighting, and I'm sorry, I really didn't mean all those things I said before, I just..."

"S'okay, pet" he interrupted her rambling "I know"

She smiled at that, she would've laughed with relief if the moment had not been so serious and intense.

"I told Riley the truth, that I love you, that I always did" she said with a quiver in her voice.

"I never should have been such a silly sod and left you..." Spike said feeling terrible about it still. Buffy put her finger to his lips, silencing him as he'd done to her earlier.

"Shh" she hushed him "it doesn't matter now. You were gonna stay this time anyway" she said again, loving that it was true.

"I was" he nodded, looking deep into her eyes "I love you, Buffy" he said with such sincerity she almost felt unworthy of it.

"I love you too" she told him in kind, right before their lips met.

They stayed like that for some time, holding each other and expressing their love with kisses that lasted as long as was possible before they needed to breathe. When they finally broke apart, Spike looked seriously at the woman in his arms.

"What happens now then?" he wondered aloud, "You're supposed to be getting wed tomorrow" he reminded her.

"I have to deal with that, cancel stuff" she shook her head, as she thought of the whole matter with some distaste "We'll figure it out later" she said after a moment as she looked back up at him and immediately began drowning in his eyes all over again, "Right now, I just want you kissing me" she admitted.

Spike smirked his best smirk as he leaned in impossibly close.

"Not gonna argue with that" he whispered, pressing his lips firmly to hers once again. Buffy was right, he realised. Stuff the rest of the world for five minutes, this was all that mattered right now.

Flash Forward

"You may kiss the bride"

Buffy had tears in his eyes and Spike a smile on his face as the happy couple leaned in for their first kiss as a married couple.

"I love you, Mrs Harris" Xander grinned as he and his new wife pulled away from each other.

"I love you too, Mr Harris" Willow replied in kind as they turned to walk back down the aisle, closely followed by Buffy and Spike who made a second perfect couple as Maid of Honour and Best Man.

"They look so happy" the blonde smiled as they got outside the church and rice was thrown by other guests.

"That they do, pet" Spike agreed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "Jealous?" he asked with a tilt of his head and Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment before bending down to pick up the little boy that came running into her arms.

"Mommy!" he shrieked, wrapping his little arms tight around her neck, "You're so pretty" he grinned.

"Thank you, sweetie" she said, kissing the top of his head before passing him to his father when he reached for him.

"Enjoy the wedding then, champ?" Spike asked his son who nodded excitedly, and rambled something about 'pretty things' and 'when will there be cake?'

Buffy watched the happy couple get their picture taken, leaning into her boyfriend beside her as he held their son tightly with his other arm.

"You didn't answer my question, pet" he whispered in her ear and she sighed.

"Am I jealous?" she echoed his earlier question, glancing up at him and her baby boy, "No" she smiled genuinely, "I have everything I ever wanted"

The End

A/N2 : See? I promised a happy Spuffy ending and you got one, not just in the present day but in a flash-forward too! Hope you liked it and that you'll review and tell me!