Sorry for the delay. I'd have had it up earlier but the site's editor decided to keep changing the formatting without my permission. Why, I have no idea, but if anyone has any ideas as to how to stop it stripping punctuation marks then I'd love to hear it. (And no, I don't use smart quotes or anything.) Anyway, enough whining. Enjoy this chapter!
Faith looked at her watch and then back at the small white stick sitting before her. She felt a sense of déjà vu as she waited for the seemingly innocent piece of plastic to do its thing. She remembered when she was waiting to see if she was pregnant the last time, standing there, hoping against hope that she'd just gotten her dates wrong. Now... She looked at her watch and realized that it was time. She only paused a second longer before she peered at the stick.
It was blue. She was pregnant.
She didn't need a doctor to confirm it. In her heart she knew the test was right and she knew exactly when the baby had been conceived. Six weeks ago to the day, when her best friend had loved her, just as she'd asked.
They hadn't talked about it since she'd left his apartment that morning and things had pretty much gone back to normal between them. The only difference was she'd catch him looking at her sometimes, with a contemplative gaze that she couldn't quite decipher. She'd caught herself looking at him as well. Remembering that night, wondering what - if anything - it had meant to him.
Now things were definitely different. She was pregnant with Bosco's child and she had no idea what to do about it. She knew the best thing for everyone would probably be to head straight to the clinic and get rid of it before anyone had a clue. But the thought caused her heart to constrict painfully and she knew without a doubt that if Bosco found out he would never forgive her. She remembered the way he'd reacted the last time she was pregnant, remembered him telling her that Fred had a right to know. She had to tell him, no matter what it could do to their relationship.
Bosco sighed as he walked up the steps to the station house. He was feeling antsy and he was pretty sure he knew the reason. It'd been six weeks for him. Six lonely weeks of cold beds and nights spent alone in front of the box. He hadn't been with a woman since the night he spent with Faith and he was beginning to wonder why.
He'd thought - or hoped perhaps - that once things had settled down between Faith and Fred she'd come back to him and maybe explore what they'd started to that night at his apartment. It was a foolish notion, he knew, but he just couldn't get her out of his head. You need to go out and get laid, he chastised. He would go out tonight, he decided. If Faith gave him no indications during shift, he'd go out and find someone to help him forget how great being with his partner had been.
With that new resolve, he walked into the locker room and promptly forgot what he'd just been thinking about, as he laid his eyes on his half-dressed partner. She already had her uniform pants on, but other than that she only had her white tank top on. She wasn't the slim model type that he usually went for. Faith's body had a strength, one he'd certainly enjoyed six weeks ago.
She turned to look at him and Bosco found himself flushing slightly at being caught out. "Hey," he said, hurrying into the room.
"Hi," she replied, in a voice that didn't quite sound right.
He looked up at her, casting a critical eye across her face. She was tired, he could see that, but there was something else; something he couldn't quite read. "You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," she replied, but the response sounded automatic. She strapped on her vest and then reached for her shirt.
Bosco wondered if he should push her, but figured he had eight hours to find out what was going on. Instead, he opened his locker and then pulled off his shirt. He looked up to see that Faith had paused in buttoning up her shirt. She was watching him, with a look he was pretty sure was at least partly desire. Her eyes were roaming over his bare chest and he felt his own desire stir at the intensity of her gaze on his body. He kept getting changed, not letting on that he knew she was watching him. It was the first time she'd done anything that at least suggested that there was something between them.
Bosco was just putting on his vest when she came around the locker door and stood beside him. "Bosco, we need to talk."
He looked up at her and frowned. She looked nervous. "Everything all right?" he asked.
She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "Depends on your definition of all right," she replied.
Sully entered the locker room and Faith seemed to tense even more at his arrival. "Uh, hey, Sully," she greeted, turning back to her locker.
"Yokas, Boscorelli," he greeted. "Ready for another exciting day protecting the wonderful people of New York?" he asked, disdain dripping from his voice.
"As always," Bosco replied, still watching his partner.
She closed her locker and picked up her jacket. "I'll see you guys in roll call," she told them, over their shoulder.
"Faith?" he called, confused. Hadn't she wanted to talk?
"Later," she replied, leaving the room.
"What was all that about?" Sully asked.
Bosco could only shrug. "I have no idea." He looked back toward the door she'd just gone through, frowning.
Their shift had been hectic and Faith found herself both disappointed and relieved that they hadn't had time to talk. Bosco had prodded a few times, but there was always another call and she chose to ignore him as they headed from job to job. Now, they were heading back to the house for the night and she could feel her nervousness rearing its head. She knew she needed to tell him tonight, but she didn't want to do it now or someone would catch on back at the precinct. Bosco wasn't exactly great at keeping a lid on his emotions.
"God, I'm glad that we're not always that busy," Bosco said, as he pulled the RMP into its parking space. "I feel like I could sleep for a week."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," she agreed, following him out of the car and into the house. The night had left her exhausted, especially with the pregnancy weighing heavily on her mind.
"You think these jag-offs do a ring around and decide on a night to create merry hell?" he asked.
Faith attempted a laugh and tried not to watch him change his clothes. "Sure, Bos, it's all some conspiracy aimed at making us work our asses off."
"I'm not kidding," he retorted, sitting down on the bench to tie his shoes.
Faith smiled, just as she was supposed to, but in the back of her mind she knew her time was running out if she wanted to tell him. "How about I make you some coffee at my place? The kids are at my mother's tonight."
He looked nervous for a moment and she wondered if he thought she was going to jump him the moment they were alone. It was an interesting idea, but she had a feeling he was going to wish that had been her plan by the time they finished talking.
"Uh, okay," he eventually replied.
She forced a smile. "Great, don't have to catch the subway now."
He chuckled. "If you wanted a lift, you could have just asked," he said, closing his locker.
"I know," she replied. "But we do need to talk."
He nodded. "Okay. Let's go and talk then." He held out a hand for her to precede him out of the locker room and she walked out, not looking back until she was outside the precinct and walking toward his car.
"You didn't have plans, did you?" she asked, as an afterthought.
He shook his head. "Nah, nothing concrete."
She wondered if he'd been planning to see someone and refused to analyze the feelings that thought evoked. "We can do this some other time-"
He shook his head. "You wanted to talk. We're going to talk."
Faith felt relieved. She'd given him an out, but he hadn't taken it. Surely that meant she was more important than whatever - or whomever - he'd been going to do, right?
They made the trip back to her apartment in relative silence; the only noise was the low hum of the radio and the occasional curse when another driver did something to annoy Bosco. Soon he was pulling his Mustang into a parking space and turning off the ignition.
Faith felt reluctant to leave the car and go up to her apartment. Once there, she knew that she would have to tell him that she was pregnant and she still had no idea how to say it or how he'd react to the news.
"You gonna sit here all night or can we go up to your apartment?" he asked, shaking her from her thoughts.
She shook her head. "Sorry, I was miles away." She reached for the door, but paused when she felt a hand on her arm.
"Faith, if you're not comfortable being alone with me-"
She shook her head vigorously. "That's not it, I promise."
"Then what's going on?" he asked.
She shook her head again. "Not here, come on." She got out of the car, trusting that he would follow, and made her way into the apartment building. Again they said nothing as they rode the elevator up to her floor and then headed down the hall.
"Okay, the suspense is killing me," Bosco said, when they walked into her apartment. "What's going on that's got you so strung out?" He paused and then his eyes widened. "Tell me you're not getting back with Fred?"
She shook her head. "No, I'm not getting back with Fred," she assured him. "I'm... God, how do I say this?" she asked.
"Is it the cancer?" he asked, his voice turning soft and worried.
She shook her head quickly, wanting to remove the scared look from his face. "No, it's not the cancer."
"Then what?" he asked, a hint of frustration seeping into his voice.
"I'm pregnant," she finally blurted out.
Bosco's face was a picture of shock. "Uh, congratulations," he managed to stutter out. "Have you told Fred?"
She shook her head. "No." She looked at him. "I don't think Fred's the father."
She saw the moment realization dawned and he dropped quickly onto the sofa. "Are you... are you saying it's mine?" he asked. He looked up at her and she gave an uncertain nod. She just wasn't sure how he was going to take this.
His mouth opened and closed but no words came out for a moment. "Didn't we use a condom?" he finally asked.
She shook her head. "Not the second time."
He groaned. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, Faith. I know this is the last thing you need right now."
"Hey," she said, sitting down by his side. "You weren't exactly alone in doing this. We both got caught up in the moment."
He let out a breath and turned to look at her. "And now we're having a baby."
Her eyes immediately left his to look at her hands and she tried to stop the guilty look crossing her face. "Bos..."
"You're not keeping it, are you?"
Something twisted in her gut. "How can I? I've just left my husband and I've already got two kids to support. How can I add another baby into the equation?"
"You know I'll support you, Faith, financially and otherwise. You're not in this alone."
"It's not that simple," she told him, a hint of pleading in her voice.
"So that's it?" he asked, getting to his feet. She could see the anger was bubbling away just under the surface, fighting to get through. "You've made your decision and to hell with the rest of us?"
She felt a stab of anger. "This is my body, Bosco! My decision!"
"And that's my baby!" he shouted back, pointing an accusing finger at her stomach. He turned his back to her, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I gotta go," he muttered.
"Don't just walk away from me," she pleaded.
He shook his head, but didn't turn back to look at her. "I am mad as hell, Faith. If I stay, I'm gonna say something I'll regret later." Without uttering another word, he headed for the door.
Faith flinched as the door slammed shut and then the tears started. She hadn't been expecting that at all. She'd thought Bosco would have supported her decision to have an abortion. After all, they'd had what was effectively a one night stand. Why would he want her to keep a child that had been created that night? Was it just that he hadn't been consulted before she'd made the decision? Bosco did have a tendency to need to control every situation. Was this just another example of that need to control? It had to be, there was no way that he really wanted to have a child with her. Was there?
TBC