Disclaimer: Of course as you all know the characters in this story do not belong to me. They belong to the very lovely J.K. Rowling, who has given all of her readers so much.
Twelve years later and I can't believe I'm returning to this spot. It had always been our place. Somewhere only we knew, and nobody else. It started out as only mine, my refuge of sorts away from it all. Although later I was joined by another. We'd always sneak off to here, since it was a rather secluded spot. Here we would lounge about, have a couple of smokes, and escape the prying eyes of the school. To me its always seemed to be one of the most soothing and beautiful places in the world. Even to this day it still seems very much the same way it did all those years ago. Once again I find myself coming here to get away, relax, and have a smoke.
It's habit I still indulge myself in, I've thought of quitting but somehow I haven't brought myself around to actually doing it. I'd always come here just to read up on a new book and to have a few smokes. I never intended on showing anyone else my sanctuary. Sirius got rather curious about where I was all the time, so finally one day I took him with me. I sat down gingerly on a rock and pulled out my cigarettes. I then thought it may be offensive so I decided to ask.
"You don't mind if I smoke do you?" I lit the cigarette, inhaled and tilted my head back allowing the fresh wave of nicotine to rush over me. Somehow no matter how many I've had that first puff always feels like heaven.
"Can I have one?" Sirius asked inquisitively.
"Sure" I pulled one out and handed it to him, and then lit it for him. "I didn't know you smoked."
"Yes well, I do now. These things are bloody fantastic!"
Unfortunately I had fot him hooked on the cancer-sticks. What's worse is that as his addiction developed he smoked far more than I ever did. In fact it could be bloody annoying. He was always running out, and it was hard to keep stocked. I mean its not easy when you live in the wizarding world, you go to boarding school, and your underaged to go out and buy muggle cigarettes. I always liked to be well-prepared and bought large quantities at a time, I did the same with my stash of alcohol as well.
Over the years Sirius and I continued to sneak off to our spot. Naturally we'd smoke, then we'd talk about things, and most always Sirius would get bored and start climbing things or fall in the water.
I'd eventually venture out onto one of the rocks and lay down on my back gazing into the sky as I'd take another draw of my cigarette.
We'd always seem to have our most honest talks here. The sound of the running water and basically just everything about the place held a certain kind of magic. I remeber him saying that it would always be his favorite place in the world.
From around tha age of thirteen I started to realize some things about myself. I realized that I was at least Bi, but I didn't come to terms with it until 5th year. Here I was in my 7th year and I felt lonelier than I had ever felt. I just wanted someone to hold me and to love me for who I am. One day, as we sat side by side, I, im my loneliness began to speak.
"Have you ever liked a boy?"
"Whaa-at?" It was obvious that was a bit of a shoker, but he answered anyway."Yes" he replied a bit hesitantly.
"Well, I have. YOu remember our German exchange student, Frederick. Yeah, I really liked him. Not really anymore though."
"Yeah, I've liked a guy too."
"Really! Well who is it?"
"Not telling."
"Why not, I told you mine."
"You know, I used to like you." My heart sank. Was this really happening? Did my best friend in the whole world just admit to liking me? I could tell he was scared, so I leaned over and rubbed his arm and spoke softly into his side.
"I like you too."
He was so worried my words didn't sink in. I began thinking if this could work out. We were as much alike as we were different. I never dated girls, or anyone for that matter. Sirius on the other hand was always talking about how good his last shag was or which girl he should date next. Then again maybe this is the reason he never became attatched to any of them. Its true the thought of us going out had occured to me before, but I felt that if I did go out with him it would be selfish. I don't know if he was ever the type to settle down, I never would want to make him feel tied down by anyone. Somehow though, without thought I asked him out.
"You know I'd thought about asking you out before, but I know how much you like girls and all and I didn't want to take you away from that."
He then looked up at me pleadingly. " I'd be fine without all of that." He really wasn't into girls that much at all, and he was never interested in keeping a relationship with any of them.
" Well, would you go out with me then?"
"Yes."
My lips met his, it started out with a rather simple chaste soort of kiss, then progressed to a rather sloppy battle of tongues and neither of us cared at that moment.
We returned to the castle that night hand in hand. A smile dancing over us, both excited by our new secret.
He then said to me, " We'll keep this a secret, right? I mean at least for now, Secrets can be sexy."
"Yes, Very."
We then went up to our room, and went respectively to our own beds which just happened to be side by side.
"Goodnight Padfoot."
"Goodnight Moony."
"Love you"
"Love you too."
The next morning I woke up wondering if this had really happened or if it was just my imagination. Then I felt a surge of emotions, a pang of guilt and doubt passed over me. I immediately began formulating ways I could end it, I was so worried he'd be unhappy with me. But once I got up and saw Sirius, I knew it would be alright or at least for now.