March 10, 20

Richards Security Systems

1285 International Parkway,

Leadings, Alaska 00000

Dear Mr. Jelly,

Good morning to you. Or afternoon. Some people are particular about this and I don't want to offend you, so good day, then, if it is indeed that time where you are. Thank you for taking the time out to read this letter I am writing to you. This very letter in which you are reading, in fact. It's very nice and kind of you to take time out of your busy day, to pick up this piece of paper and read it. Some people tear these things up, you know, and don't even take a second glance to see what's really in it. It could be something terribly important, you know, something they cannot afford to miss. Well, you certainly won't be one of those people, now, will you? Let's start this letter now, shall we?

I am writing to you today about a little certain matter that pertains to me, in fact, it wasn't long ago at all in which I found out about this. Some things can just pop into my head right quick, and others I just have to mull and mull over until I get a headache. It's a terribly sad flaw I have, you know, and I do wish I could access things more quickly. It would be a lot better for the rest of us, I think, if I could just find what I had to say and get on with it. Perhaps that's why I don't have any friends. My last one said that I just go on and on and on and on about absolutely nothing and I really have no idea what he's talking about. I mean, I do tend to go on, but that's only because I find the subject fascinating. There's nothing wrong with that at all, actually, it only means I'm interested in various subjects, a wise way for one to increase their intelligence in various matters.

Some people have no interest in anything and I really can't stand that now. They just nod and say 'yes,' when they're not listening at all. It's kind of like when you read a letter and you don't really pay attention to what's being said, and you skim it to get the gist of it. That's no way to enjoy a proper letter now, is it? I didn't think so either. But I am going a bit of topic now, so let's see if we can find it…where…here it is, ah! Termites.

And also when one talks to another person and their eyes just glaze over as soon as you start talking, now isn't that simply rude? Why just the other day I was speaking with the postman and he had no idea what I was talking about, you could see it in his eyes. It was a terrible waste of time and energy to go on and on like that and not have the other person really listen. I can imagine what all that mental energy could be used for, like writing a novel or perhaps conducting a symphony. It's sad, really. I mean, not as sad as someone I know, what say, someone who lives a small and lonely life in a stink hole of an apartment in the worst side of town and has to save all the pennies just to buy milk and bread and—never mind.

It seems that we've come to the conclusion of our letter. I hope that my letter has served you well, Madame, and I wish you good night.

Sincerely,

Mr. Me