Part One Hundred And Eleven
When Karen received the call from Dominic, saying that Yvonne wished to see her about Denny, she was surprised. "Could you bring her up to me?" Karen asked him, thinking that this must be bad, if Yvonne would voluntarily spend another moment in this place than she had too. "As soon as I've got rid of all the other visitors, yeah," He told her, gesturing to Yvonne to wait till he could escort her. Yvonne must have seen her car in the car park to ask for her directly, Karen thought. It was quite unusual for Karen to be here on a Sunday, but after having taken Denny to Ashmore on Friday, she had some catching up to do. When Dominic knocked, and showed Yvonne in, Karen stood up and went to meet her.
"This is a nice surprise," She said, moving to give Yvonne a hug. "Or not, as the case may be," She said, seeing the look in Yvonne's face. When Dominic had left them to it, Karen said, "Do you want a drink?" "Yeah," Yvonne said darkly. "And you might need one too." Karen poured them both a scotch, and they sat down on the sofa opposite her desk.
"It feels weird, being up here," Yvonne said as Karen offered her a cigarette. "The last time I was in this office, was when me and Fenner found out who Virginia's killer was." "Yvonne, what's happened?" Karen asked as she took a long drag. "You tell me," Yvonne said belligerently. "First you take my Denny to some bloody nut house to see Dockley, and the next thing I see, is the Denny she was when I first met her, which means angry, unpredictable, and with very little that's nice about her. So why not tell me, why you thought taking her to see Dockley was such a good idea." Getting up, Karen began to prowl round her office, whether marking her territory, or as a way of avoiding Yvonne's eyes, Yvonne didn't know. She picked things up, put them down again, and eventually sat down behind her desk, needing the professional barrier for this particular conversation.
"Back in February," Karen began, taking a sip from her scotch. "When Denny was going a bit off the rails again, she was doing it because she didn't feel as though she had anything to get out for. I know you love her, and I know you would do anything for her, but I think Denny sometimes needs reminding of that, as we all do. It was just after Valentine's Day, and that made a lot of memories of Shaz, begin to resurface for her. She knew that Lauren would probably be getting out some time this year..." "What's this got to do with Dockley?" Yvonne interrupted. "Let me finish," Karen said patiently. "I think this reminded Denny, that Shell didn't have anyone, at least no one to fight her corner for her." "I thought you fulfilled that role years ago," Yvonne said dryly, never having quite understood Karen's need to always put herself out for the psycho. ""One thing I have learnt about Denny," Karen continued, ignoring Yvonne's jibe. "Is that punishing her doesn't achieve very much. All it does is to make her come back from the block, far more bitter and angry than she was before I put her there. So, the only other option left open to me, if I didn't want to pursue the usual vicious circle, was to make a deal with her." "Oh, what, like the deal over Fenner, you mean?" Yvonne demanded. "Denny did that deal with me, because she wanted Fenner putting behind bars for Shell. It always was for Shell, Yvonne, even back then." "And whose fault was it that got shot in the foot, albeit indirectly," Yvonne bit back, looking straight into Karen's eyes. Taking a long, slow breath, Karen had to exhibit an enormous effort not to let the pain at that particular insult show. She'd often wondered when this day would come, when Yvonne would finally bestow on her the blame for her daughter's conviction. Yvonne seemed to realise that she'd gone too far, but she didn't know how to put it right. "You didn't come here for this, Yvonne," Karen said eventually, keeping her voice as quiet and noncommittal as possible, unwilling to reveal the pain this remark had caused. "I took Denny to see Shell, because Denny gave me a catalogue of very valid reasons why she wanted to do it. It was something to aim for in the future back then, something she could focus on, something that would keep her behaviour at an acceptable level. Now, I'm sorry that it didn't quite work out as I'd planned it, and I'm sorry that it appears to have affected Denny far more than I ever thought it would. But I can't turn the clock back. I will talk to Denny, and I will keep a very close eye on her, and do whatever I can to sort this out. You're right, I probably shouldn't have done this, but I did, and all I can do is what I thought I was doing in taking her to see Shell, and that's to keep on doing my job. Yes, I've clearly screwed up, and I will take full responsibility for that. This particular mistake, I can try to put right, but I can't do that with all of them." This last statement, Yvonne knew, was about Ritchie, not Denny.
They were silent as Karen walked Yvonne down to the gate lodge, after locking her office door. When they stood by Yvonne's car, Yvonne put a hand out to her. "I'm sorry," She said, knowing that what she'd said had really hurt Karen. "No, you're not," Karen said quietly. "You're sorry that I heard you say it, but you're not sorry for thinking it." "I shouldn't have said it," Yvonne told her, seeing the brief flicker of pain in Karen's eyes. "Don't you think that I've regretted getting involved with your son, every day that Lauren's been in here?" Karen told her vehemently. "Don't you think, that every time I go down onto the wing and see her there, it haunts me that I am why she's here? So don't you ever try to tell me where my responsibilities lie, because I am perfectly well aware of them, both the professional and personal ones. I am prepared to try anything new with either Lauren or Denny, and do you know why? Because every time I do something right with either of them, I'm doing it for you. Grayling would have me sacked if he heard me say something quite so unprofessional, but that's how it is. Every time I'm a bit too lenient with a punishment, or sanction something a little out of the ordinary because it seems to be a good idea, I'm doing it because of you. So don't you ever try to tell me how to do my job, not ever. I know I've screwed up with Denny, and I know that if she starts slipping back into her old ways, it'll be entirely my fault. But if it's the last thing I do, I will sort her out." Finally coming to the end of her tirade, Karen turned on her heel and strode back towards the gate lodge, feeling Yvonne's eyes burning into her back. Yvonne just stared after her, knowing that Karen really hadn't deserved some of the things she'd said to her. But where had all that come from? Getting into her car, she drove thoughtfully away, with Denny now not the only one she was worrying about.
When Karen was walking down the corridor to her office, she was accosted by Dominic. Her outpouring of words to Yvonne had brought the tears to her eyes, and once inside, they had begun streaming down her cheeks. With only the bare minimum of staff about on a Sunday, no one had seen her. But now here was Dominic, and he was far too perceptive not to notice. "Karen, I was looking for you," He said, coming up to her. "Are you all right?" He asked, seeing her face. "Fine," She said curtly, furiously scrubbing at her face with a tissue. "You don't look it," Dominic told her. "Just something me and Yvonne needed to get out in the open, that's all," She told him cryptically. Ignoring the look of surprise on her face, Dominic moved forward to give her a firm hug. He had an enormous respect and feeling of fondness for Karen, she having been just one of them when she'd started. She'd always listened to him, always taken him seriously, not like Di and Sylvia, and even Fenner in his time. "Yvonne Atkins always did speak before thinking," He said, giving her one, last squeeze before he let her go. "You'll get yourself a rep for fraternizing with the Governor," Karen said with a watery smile, Dominic's sensitivity having surprised her enormously. But as he followed her into her office, and began talking about the latest problem with Natalie Buxton, as Gina wasn't in today, Karen felt incredibly grateful for his friendship. Dominic was one of those very unobtrusive people, someone who wouldn't be noticed unless you made a special effort to notice him, but he was brilliant with the prisoners, and she knew she couldn't have done without him. He'd been the one to give her the most support when she'd first become G wing's Governor, being pleased that one of them had got the top job. She would have to make sure she always made his job as worthwhile as possible, because she refused to lose him to a rival prison.