The Aftermath
Chapter Thirteen
The Life of a Stranger
Harry woke up late the next morning because he hadn't gotten back until one in the morning. After he left the menagerie, even more confused than he already was, Harry tried to go snooping, but as he predicted, he got himself lost.
Harry tumbled out of bed, almost grazing the side of his head on the bedside table, and seeing as how the bed was nearly four feet above the ground, he hit the floor very painfully, but thankfully, missing the bed steps. Swearing, Harry got dressed at the speed of lightning. Rushing through the hallways and finding one of those teleporting sofas he practically fell through the door of the dining room.
He saw Ron and Hermione sitting at one end of the table eating their bacon and eggs and he sat down next to them heavily, helping himself to a plate of sunny side up eggs.
"Morning. Where's Ginny?" he said putting a forkful of eggs in his mouth.
"She finished with breakfast this morning," Ron said. "Went up to the roof to train. She's trying out for Chaser this year, remember?"
"Okay," Harry said vaguely.
"You're talking to Liz today, right?" Hermione said.
"Uh huh," Harry answered her, still a bit preoccupied. He had begun thinking about Liz's parents again, and was wondering why they had been killed. The key, yeah, whatever the bloody hell that was.
"Harry? Earth to Harry!" Ron was saying.
"Yeah?"
Hermione frowned at him. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Mate, the fork was in midair for a full minute and the yolk is dripping all over the table," Ron said.
"Oh, woops," Harry said, reaching for a napkin.
Hermione was still frowning at him. "Harry, is there something you're not telling us?"
"What makes you say that?"
Hermione stared at him. "What do you think, mate?" She started to count on her fingers. "One, you hardly ever talk anymore. Two, you almost always seem distracted. Three, you never seem interested in the doings of the Order anymore because when we're asking questions you're just sitting there staring and not paying attention! We thought for sure that if anyone was going to be curious, it'd be you."
"And you're always running off somewhere on your own," Ron added. "You usually include us when you do stuff like that. What's up?"
"I know you must be upset about Sirius, but couldn't you talk to us?" Hermione said to Harry. "And if it's not Sirius is it anything else?"
Harry opened his mouth to answer, but didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell them about his vision, Lupin had told him not to. He couldn't talk about Liz's parents, Liz had asked him not to. Harry couldn't Voldemort's plans with them, what if they became endangered with the knowledge? And he couldn't tell them about the prophecy. Harry wasn't ready for that yet. He was saved momentarily from coming up with a reply by the arrival of Hogwarts letters.
These weren't the normal school letters. They were the text results. Hermione took her letter from the stack and was about to put it aside and make further inquiries to Harry when she realized what she was holding in her hand and all but demolished the envelope in order to reach its contents. This wasn't a normal Hogwarts letter. It was the results of their O.W.L. exams. Ron realized this too, and tore at the seal. Harry reached forward and grabbed his own.
Ron was smiling. "Hey, I didn't do half bad! Ten O.W.L.s (A/N: that's pretty good, right?) You Harry?"
"It looks as if it's possible I can become an Auror!" Harry said, grinning. "Charms, Outstanding, Transfiguration, Exceeds Expectations (guess I may have to work on that), Potions, yes! I got an O!" Harry heaved a sigh of relief.
Hermione looked over his shoulder at his letter. "Whoa, Harry! Look at your Defense Against the Dark Arts score! You got more than the possible points!"
Harry scanned the page. "Oh, yeah. My examiner let me produce a Patronus for extra credit," he said grinning.
Ron laughed. "No need to ask her what she got – nuh uh uh!" he added putting his hand over her mouth. She blurted out her answer into his hand but it wasn't understandable. "Let me guess . . . twelve O.W.L.s?"
He took his hand off her mouth. Looking slightly disappointed that she didn't get to say it herself, Hermione said, "Yes, as a matter of fact I did."
Harry and Ron spent the remaining half hour before nine o' clock entertaining Hermione with stories about their Divination exams. Harry was glad they forgot the previous subject
At nine though, Hermione reminded Harry that he had to go talk to Liz.
"Oh, that's right," Harry said, looking at his watch (the watch that Lupin had given him on his birthday) and getting up. "See you later."
He left the room and headed for the Dual Wing.
Harry reached her door a quarter after nine. He stood there a moment, then started to walk back the way he came. He stopped, came back to the door, and then backed away again. (A/N: if you've watched Love Actually, this is a lot like that part where Mark, played by Andrew Lincoln, is indecisive upon the subject of talking to Juliet, played by Keira Knightley).
"If you're coming in, come in already!" Liz called through her door. "The noise of your pacing is driving me crazy!"
Harry hesitated for one more moment, then opened the door. Liz was on her bed, putting in a CD in a slot that happened to be installed at the foot of her bed. She was still in her pajamas, black sweat pants with white stripes at the sides and a white tank top with a black neckline and straps and black stripes on the sides. Her hair was raven colored and layered. She looked up.
"Oh," she said simply. "You."
Harry gave a small smile. "Yeah, me."
She resumed putting the CD. She tossed the case to Harry. "Can you put this on the shelf over there? Put it in right before Youth Asylum."
Harry looked at the case. "Yellowcard, Ocean Avenue?"
"Yeah," she said as Way Away started playing.
I think I'm breaking out
I'm gonna leave you now
There's nothing for me here
It's all the same
And even though I know
That everything might go
Go downhill from here,
I'm not afraid
"You can sit down if you like," Liz said to Harry when he finished. She pressed a button on the bedpost and a comfortable looking armchair appeared by the side of her bed.
"Ok, thanks," Harry said.
Way away, away from here I'll be
Way away, away so you can see
How it feels to be alone and not believe
(How it feels to be alone and not believe)
How it feels to be alone and not believe
Anything
"Anything in particular you wanted to talk to me about, Harry?" Liz asked him, reaching for a book entitled Point Blanc.
Harry nodded, but didn't say anything. He was still trying to decide how to start.
Liz put the book down and flopped over to the foot of the bed. She pressed the random button on the CD player. When she was finished with that, she looked at Harry expectantly. "Yes?" she said, as Twenty Three began to play.
. . . I know he didn't have the answers all the time
But you can't tell me that you've never told a lie
We're almost twenty-three and you're still mad at me
So much that I said to you and I want to take it back now
Twenty-three and it's so sad to me
You tell the world I'm dead to you
But I know you want me back now
"I just . . . " Harry began. He paused, took a breath, and continued. "I just wanted to apologize."
"Hm," Liz said, cocking her head to the side and raising her eyebrows. "Apologize. For what, may I ask?"
Harry had a feeling that she was trying to test him to see if he knew what he had said wrong. Harry knew, but he wasn't going to say it. He figured if he was going to apologize, he might as well go the full mile. Harry licked his lips. "I think I was trying to purposely make you mad."
Whatever answer Liz had been expecting, it wasn't that. A confused frown crept into her face. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she spoke. "Okay . . . er . . . why?"
Was it fun for you to watch him fall apart? (Watch me fall)
And suffocate him while you held him in your arms (in your arms)
I swear to God I wish he never let you in (let you in)
And I just hope we never hear from you again
"I don't know," Harry answered honestly. "I didn't want to hurt you, though I'm sure I did, but I wanted to see how you'd react, if you'd react."
Liz's mouth opened in incredulity. "You didn't think I'd react if you talked about my dead father? You didn't think that I'd be hurt, or upset?" For a moment she looked as if she might shout and scream. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She held her eyes closed for a moment longer before looking at Harry again. The only sound was the song that was currently playing on the CD.
How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew I threw it all away
"Do you honestly think I'm that unfeeling?" Liz asked him quietly. "I'm only human, Harry. Really, I am."
There was another long pause. A pause long enough for the CD player to choose another random song.
If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find
We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
"If you don't believe me, I'll tell you a secret, Harry," Liz said, her eyes boring into his. "I didn't like being reminded that my dad was beyond my reach, that I'd never speak with him again, that he'd never cook me that special shish kebab with the special teriyaki sauce and pixie stick dust, that he wouldn't be there at my wedding, and that now we weren't only miles apart, we weren't even in the same lifetime together anymore." Tears were misting in her eyes once more, but she blinked them away angrily.
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up, give it all away
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
"Why didn't you say that to me before?" Harry asked. "It's okay to feel that way and it's okay to show it!"
Liz bit her lip. "I know," she said. "But I don't want to be like those . . . people in stories and on TV that you feel sorry for. I know it's not pathetic, feeling grief . . . but I also know that Dad wouldn't have wanted me to dwell on his death." Then she muttered something that Harry could barely hear. "And I don't want to self destruct again."
They were silent and another song began to play.
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Then we will make it through
One more year, down here
I hope that all is well in heaven
Cause it's all shot to hell down here
I hope that I find you in heaven
Cause I'm so lost without you down here
You won't be coming back
And I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye
Harry was now getting why Liz had chosen this album to play.
He looked at her. "I'm sorry. I really am."
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
"I believe you," Liz said.
Harry waited. He was met with more silence, another pause long enough to allow another song to start playing.
Even if I wanted to
I don't think that I'd get to you
There's nothing I can say to you to make you feel alive again
So don't just say goodbye to me
Just turn your back away and leave
And if you're lucky I will be your last regret, your only friend
"And," Liz said, "I forgive you. And I guess I can understand where you're coming from."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
She looked at him and shrugged. "It's true. I don't show my emotions readily. But now you know that I'm breakable doesn't mean you have to be more careful with me, understood?"
"Ok," that was all Harry could say. "Are you going to tell anyone about your dad soon?"
Liz sighed. "What's the rush?"
"You've got them worried," Harry said.
"Who?"
"Ginny, Hermione, Ron," Harry said.
There was another pause. Liz seemed to be contemplating this. "I'll tell them. Don't worry." She said. "Just not now . . . before we go back to school though, for sure."
Harry looked at her and saw she meant it. "Are you going to be all right?"
She paused, then smiled, singing along quietly to the Yellowcard song that was now playing.
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.
Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day
She looked up and gazed right into his eyes and said, "Now isn't that a coincidence? Yeah, Harry. I'll be fine."
Harry smiled at her. "Now that is good news."
They exchanged a smile.
"These guys are actually pretty good," Harry commented.
"Yeah," Liz answered. "You can borrow this if you like."
"Okay."
Liz took the CD out and got up and put it in the case. "Here you go."
At eleven, Harry was in his room listening to track five.
Whats a dad for, dad?
Taught me how to stand, dad
Took me by the hand, dad
And showed me how to be a bigger man, dad
Listened when you talked, dad
Followed where you walked, dad
And you know that I will always do the best I can... I can
Father, I will always be...(always be)
that same boy that stood by the sea
And watched you tower over me...(over me)
Now I'm older I want to be the same as you
The same as you
A/N: There people, happy? There's an important clue in there, look closely to find them. Hint: it something she says quietly under her breath. Harry doesn't notice it, but will you? Give you one guess as to when I wrote this. Congratulations. I did write this when I first got the Ocean Avenue CD. There's also a hidden meaning behind some of the songs. I'll be nice and tell you which ones; there's another reason why I chose Miles Apart, and also another one for my choice of Believe, which is the same reason for choosing Way Away. There's a reason for everything!
Harry was pretty sure things were all right between him and Liz. That was a relief. He also hoped she could open up about her father soon. He figured it might make her feel better, and it would probably get Hermione off his, Harry's, case.
Harry went off to breakfast and breathed a sigh of relief to see that Liz was there, putting large amounts of whipped cream, honey, and maple syrup on her buttermilk pancakes. Her hair was in two black pigtails and she was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a black sweatshirt that said "The Clash" on it.
"Good morning!" he said, sitting opposite of her and Ginny.
"You're up early for once!" Ginny commented.
"Well," Harry said, smiling, "Why not? It's a bright summer day and it helped that you could smell these pancakes all the way from Guest Room Seven."
Ginny laughed and Liz smiled wanly.
"Liz was just telling me that they raise bees here," Ginny said, nodding over to the honey jar. "They harvest their own honey."
Liz nodded, somewhat tiredly. "Yup. Monstrous sweet tooth syndrome, it runs in the family." Liz yawned, then continued. "My cousin, Shane, whenever I stayed at Uncle Gary's house I remember that that boy never would drink his milk plain. He always had to add chocolate syrup. Oh! Chocolate syrup! That'd go with pancakes!" Liz made a move to get up, but she didn't. "Oh, bollocks, the cupboard is so far away!"
Ginny laughed. "Lazy Lizzy!"
"That's what Kerrie calls me," Liz said nodding sleepily in agreement.
"I'll get it," Harry said, getting up. "Maybe it'll help the sugar high along. You look like you need one!"
Liz shrugged. "Sorry, not a morning person."
"Which explains why no one can seem to catch you at breakfast!" Ginny commented. "At school or at home."
Liz put her hands up in surrender half heartedly, still holding her fork. "'At's 'ight!" she said, trying to talk past the chunk of pancakes in her mouth. She swallowed. "Got me."
"That was unenthusiastic," Ginny said. "Harry, hurry up with that chocolate sauce! We need to liven this girl up, stat!"
Harry trotted back to the table, a plastic bottle of nutella in his hand. He slid it across the table to the girls and helped himself to a plate of pancakes.
They continued breakfast, but neither Ron nor Hermione showed up.
After the meal, Liz introduced Ginny and Harry to the wonderful world of Playstation 2. Rather, she introduced it to Ginny and Harry was actually allowed to play on it. The three whiled away an hour or two before going upstairs. They arrived at the Guest Corridor in time to hear the last bit of Ron and Hermione's argument.
"Fine then!" Ron was yelling. "You go do that!"
"Fine!" Hermione shouted. "I will!"
She turned around and slammed her door. Ron did likewise.
Ginny rolled her eyes, Harry sighed, and Liz stood there with a shocked look on her face.
"What was that about?" she asked aloud.
"Probably something stupid," Ginny said.
"You get used to it after a while," Harry said. "It happens an awful lot. Not lately though. Yeah . . . wonder what caused that."
Liz looked confused.
Harry looked at her. "What?"
"It's just . . . " she looked suddenly shy. "I know it's none of my business or anything, but I just thought – "
Ginny interrupted. "Yeah, they probably do like each other, but they're too stupid to realize it."
"Never thought about it that way . . . but that sounds about right," Harry said.
"Should someone talk to them?" Liz asked warily.
"I don't know," Harry said, shrugging. "Maybe it'll do them some good to cool down a bit."
"Oh, okay."
Deciding to give "the squabbling couple" some space, the three of them went off to the roof to see the bees, and the other animals. They used a special potion lotion to keep the bees from stinging (bees after all can't eat alphabet soup) and collected some fresh honeycombs.
Then they visited the managerie, where Ranger frightened Ginny dreadfully by going up to them all and sending a rather loud "HIYA THERE!" to all three. Once Ginny got over the initial shock of this, she promised not to tell any other adults and begged Liz to see the Kneazles.
They also visited the winged horses. Liz had two breeds, the Aethonan and Granian winged horses. They also came across a rather cross Jarvey.
"Move it!" it said after it had run headfirst into Harry's leg, and it seemed to hurt Harry more than it hurt the Jarvey.
"Look where you're going, you stupid ferret!" Harry said angrily rubbing his shin as it scurried away. "What's its hurry?"
Liz was following the Jarvey's progress through the garden with her eyes when she answered him. "Probably running from the hippogriffs."
"That's understandable," Harry said.
Ginny stared at her. "You have hippogriffs here?" she asked incredulously.
"Yeah," Liz said walking in the direction the Jarvey came from. "My Aunt Gabby has a thing for hippogriffs and we keep a couple here so when she visits she's not too homesick or anything. Would you like to see them?" Harry and Ginny exchanged a look. Seeing their slightly worried expressions, she said, "Don't worry, they're extremely tame. You could even insult them and the worst you'd get would be an angry beak click or maybe a wing swat, though I wouldn't recommend you purposely insult them. Oh, and Dumbledore sent a newcomer, he said you knew him. He may be really lonely. What was his name? That one hippogriff that scratched that Malfoy prick way back when."
"Buckbeak?" Harry exclaimed.
"Yeah, that's the one!" Liz said.
"Ok, I'm up for it," Harry said.
Buckbeak was there and Liz owned three others. A cream colored female named Cashmere, a chocolate brown female called Cocoa, a golden youngster called Richie, and a strong looking silver male named Flight. Liz allowed Ginny to ride Cashmere while Harry and Liz attended to Buckbeak. Despite Harry's pleading, Liz point blank refused to feed Buckbeak some of that alphabet soup potion.
"I couldn't be responsible for something like that," Liz had said. The other hippogriffs had assured Harry, though, that they were treating Buckbeak like one of their own. Flight also commented that it did Buckbeak good that Harry came to visit.
"He's been telling us that this place is so unfamiliar," Flight had said to Harry. "I'm sure he's very glad to see a friendly face."
They walked around some more visiting most of the animals and all the while discussing the similarities of Jarveys and parrots.
They went back to the main part of the household for lunch. Ginny only agreed to come when Liz assured her that Kairi, the Kneazle that Ginny had taken a liking to and had been carrying for the whole morning, could join them at the table.
Harry observed Liz very carefully. Nothing perverted (he hoped), it was just to make sure that she was okay. He came to a final verdict by noon. She wasn't Miss Sunshine, but who could be in her shoes? But she wasn't depressed or angry or anything like that. It was definitely a good sign.
A/N: Aren't you proud of me? I managed to make one chapter that wasn't so soap opera - y! You can tell I've been reading Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them but that's okay. Sorry folks, not a Ginny/Harry sort of person. I would've been before if not for Cho Chang, and would be now if not for the fact Ginny is into other guys now. Okay, review people! And keep reading, the outcome of the Ron/Hermione fight is next, and yes, I do approve of the Ron/Hermione pairing.
I know we're really not allowed to put lyrics up, but I didn't know how to take them out without messing up the stuff that I was hinting at. I did give credit ... oh well. I'll try and fix it later ...