Chapter 31

A few days later on Sunday, James entered the room while Sirius sat near the fire with Anastasia.Sirius still felt bad that his potion had caused his lover to fall ill and that he wasn't allowed to visit with him while he was in the hospital wing. But now that James was out and better, Sirius wanted nothing more than to just be with him for the rest of the day.

James walked over to Sirius and kissed him on the lips, and then turned his attention to Anastasia. "Is it just me or has she grown while I was in the hospital wing?" he teased, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

Sirius grinned slightly and handed his daughter to James. James took her in his arms and began bouncing her up and down on his knee. "I'm so sorry," Sirius said. "I don't know what I did to the potion to make it blow up, but I'm sorry."

James looked at Sirius as if he'd lost his mind. "Don't be sorry. In all honesty, it was probably my own fault for adding too much of something."

Sirius looked at James as if he'd lost his mind. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I was sitting in the hospital wing yesterday, recovering, and I found myself brooding on the potion. I pulled out my list of instructions and was trying to remember the amounts that I put in. I added too much of the root thingys."

Sirius looked at him and then laughed. He laughed hysterically, and clutched at his stomach. "It hurts," he laughed as he fell of the couch. James watched him as if he'd lost his mind.

"Um…Sirius? Are you alright, love?" James asked, watching him with raised eyebrows and a bit of concern in his eyes. What had he said to make Sirius crack up like that?

"It was your fault, not mine!" he said through his laughter. James was starting to worry that he might hyperventilate, but he waited patiently for Sirius to either stop laughing or pass out from lack of oxygen.

Eventually the laughter stopped, and Sirius looked at James. "Sorry, it's just that I spent the entire time blaming myself and wondering what I couldpossibly havedone wrong."

James smiled sadly at that. "I'm sorry you felt like that, but was it that funny?"

Sirius thought for a moment and then shook his head. "No, it wasn't, now that I think about it."

James laughed at that and returned his attention to Ana. "We should try to teach her how to talk."

Sirius looked at James as if he'd lost his mind. She's only eleven months old."

"She'll be a year old in a few days," replied James as he watched her crawling around. "Plus, technically, every time we say something we're teaching her how to talk…just indirectly."

"So," said Sirius, thinking it over, "you're saying that you want to sit here like an idiot and talk to Ana in a bizarre way just so she can learn how to say a word like 'da-da'."

James thought it over and then nodded vigorously. "Do you have anything better to do?" he asked. Sirius thought there and pondered it for a moment.

"Well," he finally, "we could be studying for our N.E.W.T.S. or we could be doing something else that would probably be productive."

James rolled his eyes. Anastasia looked at her two parents as if they'd lost their mind. "You'd rather study for a test that's a month away than play with your daughter and me?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sat down next to James, who was on the floor. "Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude," he teased.

"Hmm, it's worth a try, right?"

"If you say so…"

"I do. So there."

"Well that sounded very dictator like."

"What are you trying to say?"

"That you would do fairly well as a dictator."

"Well…I think you look like Cap'n Crunch."

Sirius burst out into laughter again at the last line. "Finally!" he exclaimed, "Veggitales are starting to wear off on you. I am victorious."

James sighed. "Just because it seemed like a reasonable comeback to me, doesn't mean that I'm accepting Veggitales."

"Ha-ha-ha," Sirius laughed as he reached for his daughter. He pulled her close to his chest and began to talk to her in the most condensing way possible. "Say da-da, say da-da. Say da-da is giving in to Veggietales and quoting the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"

James watched in amusement, uncertain as to what to do. Sirius seemed to be taking control of the entire situation. Just then the door flew up and in ran Lily, tears streaming down her face. Remus walked in behind her, a concerned expression on his face. "Lily, if you'll just tell me what's wrong, maybe I can try to help you," he begged as she fell into a chair in the corner. Remus stopped by her.

"Remus, you can't help. No one can," she sobbed. James and Sirius stood up looking worried. Anastasia squirmed in Sirius's arms. "There are some things that no one can help or fix. There are some things that are so...final that no amount of help will make it better!" Tears continued streaming down her face as she tried to compose herself.

"Lily," James said cautiously. "What's wrong?" Sirius hung back behind James, unsure as to what to say or do. Sirius really wasn't good at comforting other people. He couldn't ever seem to say the correct thing. Something really bad must have happened. The last time he had seen Lily Evans cry was when her cat had run away, and it hadn't been that bad, just a few tears of regret and mild loss.

She looked up at her friends, tears still falling freely. "What have I done to deserve such amazing friends?" she asked rather than answering their question. She looked at Anastasia, who was now holding her arms out to Lily, as if trying to comfort her from the distance. Sirius handed Lily his daughter and Lily looked at Anastasia closely. "You are so sweet. I hope you don't have to face as many trials as we have. I know you will, and you'll probably cause your own problems as well if you're anything like your parents."

She looked up from Anastasia to meet her friends' gazes, blinking back her tears. "My father just died." She rummaged around in her pocket for something, keeping one arm around Ana. She pulled out a wrinkled piece of parchment and looked up at her friends. Holding it out to Remus, she said, "This arrived earlier. It didn't really sink in until right now."

Remus took it and read it, nodding slightly while James and Sirius watched her carefully. "I'm so sorry Lily. You're right. I can't help you with this. I wish I could but…"

"Sorry, Lily," James said, sitting down next to her. She shrugged and focused on the baby still on her lap. Ana was looking at her with a faint smile on her pudgy face.

Lily gave a small grin in return to the child, and then glanced up at her friends. "The funeral is in a few days, but I have to go home and help make funeral arrangements. Do you think you guys can take notes for me? I might not be back for a while after the funeral as well. It all depends on...how things are at home."

James nodded. "Of course, but wouldn't you want us to keep you company."

"Yeah," agreed Sirius, "having your friends with you during a difficult time can be more healing than any amount of time alone."

She shook her head slightly. "No. I hate it when you guys see me like this. I'm supposed to be the calm composed one, not you guys! You're supposed to be causing havoc in my life, not easing it. As such, I don't want you to be there whenI completely break down."

"Hey, that's an unfair assessment of us!" exclaimed James in mock horror, a smile flashing across his handsome face.

Lily shrugged almost apologetically and turned to address Anastasia again, gently stroking her dark hair out of her eyes. Ana was looking at Lily intently, almost waiting for her to say something.Lily sighed softly and whispered, "I hope you don't have such bad luck as us. Look at the things we're going through. Look at how screwed up we are becoming.Remus is a werewolf, Sirius has the worst family on the planet, I'm an emotional wreck because my dad died, and James," she turned to look at James, eyebrows raised slightly, "well, James creates his own problems randomly." She smiled slightly and addressed her friends, handing Ana back to Sirius. "I've come to an educated conclusion, gentlemen."

"And what's that, Lily?" asked Remus, trying to humor her.

"Life sucks."

A.N. I'm getting tired of repeating myself. You all know that I love it when you review and thank you, so why should I say it every single time? From now on I'm going to leave random a.n.'s. ha-ha-ha! HA. anyways, I've had finals recently so...this might not be so good 'cause my brain is fried from studying so much. Groans oh well.