Are We Having Fun Yet?

The blender pitcher was drunk dry between Raphael and Leonardo, so Raph made them some more. At the same time, Donatello and Michelangelo both had a wine cooler each before going with their favorite drink of choice. Mike went with the Jager while Don went with the brandy.

Hour One

Everything was funny to the turtles. There was nothing that couldn't make them laugh. For the first half of the hour they had the T.V on. Every commercial was subjected to be the butt end of a joke and there was always something to giggle about on any show they flipped to, not even the news could escape un-laughed at. It soon got to the point where channel flipping was hilarious to them. But like any other teenager's mind, their attention span short, the T.V. soon became boring. So for the second half of the hour they played karaoke with the radio.

"Duuuude. You are shooow off key." Michelangelo laughed while Leonardo fumbled through 'Red Wine'.

"You try shing after you've gone tone death." Leonardo replied. "I shink Raph'sh shing crippled one of my earsh."

"You can't cripple an ear." Donatello corrected. "Beshidesh if anyone wash worried, it wash me when Mikey shang. Hish high note during…um…" The purple clad turtle snapped his fingers as he racked his brain to try and remember the name song. Within a second he gave up. "Never mind. My point ish that my brandy bottle nearly broke when he…um…what was I talking about?"

"I dunno." Raphael shrugged. "I shink I kind of zoned out there."

"Donnie wash talking?" Michelangelo asked.

Hour Two

Things started to become less funny. Now the turtles were filled with brotherly love and there was this sudden urge to tell each other so.

"Leon…I…really look up to you." Raphael told his elder brother.

"Raphie…" Leonardo sighed. "Show...do..."

"No, no, no." Raphael shook his head drunkenly. "Let me finish. I wanna shay that I'm glad that you are my brother."

Michelangelo turns to his purple clad brother. "Donnie…I may not tell you this enough times, but I appre-she-ate you." He said indistinctly.

"I'm shure you do." Donatello replied. "And I should tell you that I…love…you too Mikey."

Hour Three

Nothing was funny anymore and there was no more brotherly love. Now everyone was starting to regret ever trying anything at all.

"Donnie?" Michelangelo was curled up in Master Splinter's armchair. His near empty bottle of Jager lay sideways on the floor. "When do we get to see the pink elephants?"

"That's just a myth Mikey." Donatello answered

"Oh…." There was a moment of silence before, "Donnie?"

"What is it now?" Donatello sighed.

"Why are you clutching the floor?" Michelangelo asked as he looked at his tech-loving brother laying on the floor; the half empty bottle of bandy at his head.

"I'm endeavoring to discontinue the room from making a rotational cycle around me."

"Huh?"

"I'm trying to stop the room from spinning."

"Oh…. Oh!" Suddenly Michelangelo jumped up from his seat and rushed for the bathroom.

"Not again." Leonardo groaned. He was in a slouched position on the couch with his empty glass sitting on his chest. "This is like the third time he ran for the bathroom."

Raphael was laying on the couch, he head on the armrest and his empty cup sitting upside-down on his chest. "Maybe this time he might be able to do it." He yawned.

"I'll check up on him." Donatello volunteered. "I'm going that way anyway."

"What fer?" Raphael asked.

"To sit under a cold shower and sober up." Donatello replied while he crawled. "Being drunk hurts my head."

"Donnie?"

"What Leo?"

"The bathroom is the other way."

"Right, I knew that." Donatello changed direction and crawled towards the bathroom.

After a couple moments of stillness and silence, Raphael made an attempt to sit up. "Hey Leo, is der anythin' left in da blender pitcher?" He held his glass out to his eldest brother.

"I think you've had enough." Leonardo told Raph while he took the glass.

Raphael fell back to where he once was. "Party…po…" Before the he could finish his sentence, the red clad turtle passed out.

Leonardo sat up. "Raph?" He leaned over his brother and waves a hand above his face.

"Zzzz…"

Leonardo snapped his fingers in front of his brother's face. "Raphie?"

"Zzzz…."

Leonardo jumped up from the couch and lightly slaps Raph on the cheeks. "Come on bro…wake up." Then he shook his brother vigorously, but it proved futile. Raph was out and nothing was going to wake him.

Then the turtle in red did something that scared his brother in blue; he threw up in his sleep. For a minute or so red liquid poured from Raphael's mouth onto and down the side of the armrest.

Leonardo panicked as he moved away from the puddle that formed on the floor. "Not good."

It had become apparent that this whole experience wasn't as fun as it used to be. It seemed like all his brothers were sick, but only one has thrown up so far. Mike and Don were in the bathroom, which had now turned into the room of no return, probably waiting for their turn to empty their stomachs by way of mouth.

"What do I do now?" Leonardo asked himself. "I know I'll call Casey. He must have experienced something like this before. Maybe he could tell me what to do." After tripping over his feet a couple times, the young turtle managed to get over to where the Shell Cells were and dials up his male human friend."

"Uh…hello?"

"Case? I need some help."

"Leo? What's the matter? Is everythin' alright?"

"Uh…yeah. Everything is fine. Just need some advice on something."

"O-k. Shoot."

"Well…say someone gets drunk and they want to sober up so that they could take care of other people who are drunk and sick. How would they go about doing that?"

"Why do ya wanna know?"

"Um…to settle a bet. The brothers and I got into a big old fight about this. You know how we can be."

"Well, der are a lot of things ya can do to 'try' to sober up."

"Like?"

"Cold shower."

"Shower is occupied."

"Um…shock. Like ice down the backside."

"Out of ice."

"……coffee."

"Coffee…we got coffee."

"You guys aren't…"

"Got to go, bye."

"But Leo…(click)"

In a flash, Leonardo was in the kitchen pulling out everything need to make a pot of coffee. "Come on…come on." He said impatiently to the coffee maker. Eventually the coffee was done and Leo stuck the pot in the fridge for a couple of seconds so it wouldn't be too hot when he downed it.

For a split second everything seem fine, until his eye grew so wide the he couldn't seem to blink anymore. Not that he really wanted to, because every time he did his vision would be normal for a milli-second before it would flip like the lost vertical hold on a T.V. Now the vision-impaired Leonardo was too scared to move, that is, if he could. His body jittered so much that he couldn't.

Outside the kitchen

The front door open and the turtles' two human friends enter the lair.

"I can't believe you told Leo to drink a pot of coffee." April scolded.

"He caught me of guard." Casey replied defensively. "What I can't believe is that they were really drinkin'."

"Well I don't believe it." April said sternly. "One, there is no way they could ever get hold of the stuff. And two, they know better than to do something as stupid as that."

"Oh really?" Casey held up the bottle of brandy Don was drinking. "Then explain dis."

"No." April ran over to the black haired man and snatched the bottle from him. "They…" She looked at him. "This can't be good. We got to find them."

Casey nodded in agreement. "But where should we start?" He asked.

"Do you hear that?" April pointed toward the bathroom. "Water running."

Along the way to the bathroom, Casey spied Raph laying on the couch; a pool of red liquid below the young turtle. "You go ahead and check out da bathroom. I'll take care of Raphie."

"Good." April answered thankfully. She certainly didn't want to clean up the disgusting mess. In the bathroom she found Don huddled in the corner of the bathtub. Water from the showerhead beating down on him and he shivered from how cold it was. "Donnie?"

"I just wanna pass out." The purple clad turtle groan. "My head hurts so much, but I just can't go to sleep."

April turned the tub knob to shut off the water. "Come on, let's get you out of there." She said as she pulled Don to his feet and wrapped him up in a towel that was sitting top of a nearby hamper. "Where are Mike and Leo?"

"I don't know where Leo is," Donatello pointed a shivering finger over in the direction of the toilet, "but Mikey is over there."

A small whimper came from April. "Ok. Go to your room, take off your stuff, dry off, and get into bed." She inhaled deeply for courage. "I'll take care of Mikey."

"Ok." Donatello whispered before letting out a sneeze and shuffles out of the bathroom.

April went over to Mike. "Are you ok?"

"No." Michelangelo moaned. "I…I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I can't. I know that if can, I'll feel a shell of a lot better."

"Well…let's get you to bed." April said while she pulled Mike to his feet.

"What if I got to when I'm in bed?" Michelangelo asked.

April helped Mike out of the bathroom and to his room. "I'll get you a pot to use." She told him.

Meanwhile…

Casey grimaced at the task before him. "Gross." He commented before going into the kitchen for some cleaning supplies.

In the kitchen is where he found Leo, standing as still as a jittering statue, with a coffee pot clutched in his hands. The black haired man approached the blue clad turtle and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. "Uh…Leo

Leonardo freaked. "What!" He squealed.

Casey jumped back. "Whoa, easy der. It's only me."

"Me who?" Leonardo shrieked.

"Me who?" Casey looked offended. "Me Casey, dat's who."

"How am I supposed to know who you are when everything keeps flipping around?" Leonardo spouted.

Casey took hold of Leo's shoulder. "Let's…get ya ta bed."

"No!" Leonardo screeched. "Moving bad. I don't wanna move."

"But ya can't just stand here all night."

"Well…yeah. Cause standing doesn't feel right, but it's better than trying to move."

"Don't worry, I've got ya." Casey assured Leo. He kept a tight hold on the young turtle's shoulders as he escorted him to his room. After he put Leo to bed, he went back into the kitchen to get a sponge and a bunch of paper towels so he could clean up Raph's mess.

Casey finished just at April came from Don's room. "Well I got Don and Mikey to bed." The red haired woman told the black haired man.

"I'm just gonna leave Raph here on da couch. No sense in moving him." Casey said. "Besides, I don't want to chance him throwin' up on me."

"I think we better stick around in case the guys need us." April suggested. "This is the first time they drank and got drunk. Who know what it could to them."

Casey got to his feet. "Sounds like a good idea." He spied the empty blender pitcher on the coffee table. "Looks like they had more den just brandy." The young man sniffed the pitcher. "Strawberry margaritas."

April found a black bottle by the armchair. "An empty bottle of Jager?"

The two humans go into the kitchen to dispose of the bottles, sponge, and paper towels. They spy the other alcoholic drinks on the table.

"Wine coolers and beer?" April asked in disbelief. "How in the world did they get all this?"

"Maybe dis will shed some light on things." Casey held up two empty cardboard boxes. "They ordered it on-line."

"I don't believe they would do that." April took a closer look at the boxes and found a receipt. "This was delivered to them by mistake." She looked at the address. "This was supposed to go to the university."

"Probably fer some frat house party." Casey surmised. "But never mind dat. We better clean dis all up before Splinter comes home and finds out what happen."

"We can't do that." April exclaimed.

"So you gonna ta rat them out? Um…bad choice of words."

"I don't want to get them into trouble, but it wouldn't be right to hide something like this from him."

"Casue he will find out...sooner or later."

Spooked, both humans turn around to see Master Splinter standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Splinter…uh…we were just leavin'." Casey grabbed April by the wrist to pull her out of the kitchen and to the front door.

"I see." Master Splinter said with a nod. "Thank you for taking care of my sons."

"No problem." April replied as she was being dragged. "Give the turtles our best." She said before being pulled out of the lair

"Oh I'll give them something alright." Master Splinter muttered angrily.

A/N: Uh-oh, the turtles are in trouble now. But what would hurt them most, their heads or their master?
(On a side note)Believe it or not, I have no idea what it's like to get drunk. I've only drank about three times (all light stuff) and went straight to hung-over. I never got to exerience the drunken giggles or the sudden love. My tolarnce for the the stuff is so low, six sips of wine...no...a sniff of brandy could give me a headache.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Until next time.