Act IV
Scene 1 –Castle Dedede, Main Hall
(The Castle Dedede/King Dedede final fight music is heard.)
(Enter Kirby on the Warpstar from Bubbly Clouds, knocking down part of a wall. She dismounts and looks around at the walls, which are covered in tasteless pictures of His Majesty.)
Kirby: Great King Dedede! Where are you?
(There's no answer. Kirby walks through halls that are empty –other than the pictures –until she comes to a set of doors that are different than the others she's passed. They're probably different because four of them bear very familiar pictures, while the fifth sports a replica of the tacky wall decorations. Of course, it's locked.)
Kirby: Figures he'd do something like this... I guess I'll have to face his friends all over again.
(She enters one of the doors; the stage becomes dark. One by one, four different areas of the stage are lit, each showing Kirby in a fight with one of the bosses she faced earlier. Then, we see her in front of the doors again. She puts her hand upon the fifth door, and it swings open slightly.)
Kirby: He's got to be in here. This is it. I'm coming for you, Dedede!
(Exit Kirby.)
Scene 2 –Castle Dedede, "Inner Sanctum"
(Enter Kirby. This place looks very much like a gigantic wrestling ring, and in the opposite corner is... Great King Dedede, of course! He's big, he's bad, and he wears the usual red coat 'n hat.)
King Dedede: A Dreamlander? Here?
Kirby: ...Great King Dedede.
(Song: Property Rights Exchange)
King Dedede: I'm glad to have a visitor today!
You're very kind to come and see me
Kirby: I'm disgusted with you
You're very selfish to take advantage of everyone
King Dedede: I sense displeasure –is it my fault?
Is there something I can do to help solve your problem?
Kirby: Don't play innocent, King!
What have you done with all of our food?
King Dedede: Food is a delicious thing, isn't it?
Now I see what you're unhappy about
I suppose I can't help you after all
Since I'm the King, I can take what I want.
Are you going to try to take it back?
That wouldn't be a very good idea
I have power in one hand and cake in the other
And that's just how things are.
Kirby: How could I be anything but unhappy?
Kings should have their limits, too
King Dedede: Are you telling me how to rule my kingdom?
Go home and play some more, Dreamlander!
Kirby: If you're the king, show some responsibility!
Don't you care about the rest of the kingdom?
King Dedede: You shouldn't lecture, it's very boring
And no, I don't really care at the moment
Kirby: You're not fit to be in charge at all, you know
Not a king as much as a tyrant
Dictator, even? It's not too much of an exaggeration
And your rise to power is questionable too!
Power is something that can corrupt you
Have you figured that out yet? Probably not.
Here's something a true ruler would do:
Set an example and don't steal!
Both: I hadn't expected trouble from you today
I'll fight you for that food if I have to
Because you can't eat it all, though I know you'll try
And there's no way I'll let you have it!
I hadn't expected trouble from you today
I'll fight you for that food if I have to
Because you can't eat it all, though I know you'll try
And there's no way I'll let you have it!
(End song, yay)
King Dedede: You know, I didn't think anybody would actually try to come all the way here and stop me. I definitely didn't think anybody would make it past my servants.
Kirby: Well, I did. Now give back all the food you stole!
King Dedede: I'll do no such thing.
Kirby: Then fight me!
King Dedede: You stubborn Dreamlander.
(King Dedede takes out his hammer and whacks Kirby good. The "final fight" music starts to play again.)
King Dedede: I'll pound you to a pulp, then throw you in prison!
Kirby: Not if I have anything to say about it!
(King Dedede swings the hammer again, but misses. Kirby catches one of the stars shaken loose by the blow and uses it to hit him.)
King Dedede: I see you want to do this the hard way...
(He leaps into the air; Kirby moves so that he won't fall on her, but the impact caused by his landing stuns her. King Dedede takes advantage of this and sends her flying into a wall.)
King Dedede: Had enough yet, Dreamlander?
Kirby: What do you think?
(The King brings out the hammer again; Kirby dodges to the left to escape a blow, then to the right. Another star appears and Kirby "spits" it at him. With an angry growl, King Dedede takes to the air again, landing just as hard as last time. However, Kirby is ready this time and jumps out of the way.)
King Dedede: Hold still, you!
Kirby: Maybe some other time.
(Kirby continues to dodge King Dedede's hammer, but then he feints to the right and slams the wood into her as she, having fallen for the trick, moves left. He then hits her again, knocking her off her feet. As he comes in closer to do more damage she trips him.)
King Dedede: Now what makes you think you can get away with that?
Kirby: This!
(Kirby reaches out for the star that appeared when King Dedede tripped, but it disappears too quickly for her to grab it.)
King Dedede: So much for that bright idea, eh?
(Kirby gulps and rolls out of the way of yet another potentially devastating hammer blow, then runs to the opposite side of the room like she did in the previous boss fight.)
King Dedede: Come back here!
(He leaps at her, but this time Kirby obtains two stars from his heavy landing and succeeds in damaging him with both. Unfortunately for her, he jumps again immediately afterward and lands on top of her.)
Kirby: Aaaaargh!
King Dedede: You should have stayed at home with the rest of your brainless friends.
Kirby: Don't you insult my friends!
(Kirby forgets the current fight "protocol" and slugs King Dedede hard. The King just stands there for a moment looking surprised, then hits back with the hammer. They go at it more furiously than ever.)
King Dedede: (Swinging frantically) Give up and go home already!
Kirby: Not without our food!
(Another star to the face, and King Dedede once again uses his jumping attack. He hits Kirby, but she manages to hang on to the newest star anyway, and strikes him with it.)
Kirby: This is for the watermelon I was going to have for lunch before you spoiled everything!
(Kirby winds up, and with one final hit sends King Dedede flying out of the window off into the distance. Slowly she lowers her fist, then lets out a whoop.)
Kirby: I've done it! I've gotten everyone's food back!
(Exit Kirby.)
Scene 3 –A peaceful field
(Enter Dreamlanders. Some are playing while many talk about their missing food and the chances of Kirby's success.)
Dreamlander 3: I hope Kirby's doing all right.
Dreamlander 4: Well, you know that since Great King Dedede is so rich, he can afford the best bodyguards.
Dreamlander 1: You mean Kirby could be lying unconscious somewhere?
Dreamlander 4: I'm afraid it's very possible.
Dreamlander 5: I hope she isn't passed out inside of Castle Lololo. That place is haunted.
Dreamlander 2: Is it really?
Dreamlander 5: Of course! It's practically inviting ghouls, and there are stories...
Dreamlander 3: Don't talk like that! I believe in Kirby!
Dreamlander 6: Hey, what's that up there?
(The Dreamlanders look up in the sky, to an object that resembles some sort of odd balloon...)
Dreamlander 3: I don't know, but it's raining food!
(Of course, it's all thanks to our hero/ine. She's placed all the stolen food into a huge sack, and she has been allowing it to empty out all over Dreamland, distributed as evenly as possible so everyone can enjoy tasty meals again.)
Dreamlander 1: Wait a minute... Kirby's up there! Kirby's saved our food!
Dreamlander 2: She really did it!
Dreamlander 6: Thank you, Kirby!
(The Dreamlanders begin to cheer like mad. Kirby lands and grins sheepishly at her friends, as if to say "It was nothing.")
Kirby: Aw guys, it was nothing.
Dreamlander 3: No, that was better than nothing! Now we can all have our snack time!
Kirby: Well, that's definitely something I can cheer for.
(Song: A Delicious Victory)
Dreamlander 1: You did it, Kirby! You got the food back!
We were all cheering you on
Dreamlander 2: That's right, even though you couldn't hear us
We were with you in spirit, buddy!
Kirby: No need to make such a fuss, everyone
I did what I had to, and any one of you would've done the same
Dreamlander 3: It was an amazing thing you did
All by yourself on such a journey
Dreamlander 4: Through a haunted castle, even!
So now the agenda is "eat, sleep, play, adventure."
Kirby: Well, it was kind of a fun thing to do
And we would all be very hungry soon if I hadn't gone
Dreamlander 5: Great King Dedede's bodyguards all were defeated!
And you –well, not defeated!
Dreamlander 6: And the King's quite a fighter
But you took him down too!
Kirby: I did it for all of us
All of us, and the tomatoes and the carrots and the lemonade and the cake!
All: Kirby's back and so is our food!
We're going to have a picnic with the hero of the day!
Everyone's happy now, so let's have all the treats!
Hurrah for Kirby and hurrah for Dreamland!
(End song, yay)
Dreamlander 6: Come on, Kirby! We have to grab some food before the others eat it all!
Kirby: I hear you. Do you know what this whole experience has done for me?
Dreamlander 6: What has it done?
Kirby: It's given me one heck of an appetite, that's what!
(They laugh. Exeunt.)
More Author's Notes:
Holy crud! That was a fun thing to do, but it was sorta kinda time-consuming. Writing songs is harder than it looks, let me tell ya. Fortunately these were the kind that didn't have to rhyme, otherwise this might have taken three times as long to complete.
Concerning Kirby's abilities: Thankfully there was no copying to worry about writing in here, but if I ever decide to tackle Kirby's Adventure... Obviously a human actress can't inhale the way Kirby can, so she will just have to pretend with her hands.
Concerning boss characters: For some reason I didn't feel like writing a song for Whispy Woods. The Sweet Potato Theme saved my lazy butt from writing for Kaboola, too. Speaking of her: the hair color. To me, her character personified seemed likely to hail from the pirate-packed pwnage that is One Piece. That hugely exaggerated weapon perched casually on her shoulder, even the name to an extent. Of course, I had to add an oddball One Piece-y villain-ish touch, and that would be the seemingly out-of-nowhere lavender hair. I have to draw a picture someday. Lololo and Lalala speak in unison because... well, they're twins. If their time onstage seems short, it's because I died fighting them so often that the fights started to become repetitive after a while. Yes, all the fights are more or less repetitive, but... moving on. Chibi Kracko was a brat, nothing more to say about that. "Adult" Kracko... my perception of how that character should be as a human onstage was mature and dignified, but at the same time allowing us to see who grows up and becomes who, what with the sadistic streak and the somewhat immaturity in the song compared with her younger counterpart's cocky and sadistic streak. (Am I confusing people?) For some reason, I thought this would work better with a female actor. As for her song, I was listening to too much Sailor Moon and Kozi at the time and that's why it came out the way it did. Poppy Brothers Senior and King Dedede are the most straightforward –they come, fight, and fight hard. Well, King Dedede fought hard anyhow...
Concerning the Dreamlanders: Dreamlanders (some folks call 'em Kirbys) eat, sleep and play. They strike me as pretty kiddy people, and so they're happy and playful like kids are.
Concerning Kirby slugging King Dedede in the final fight: I just thought that would be a different, wacky thing to add, with Dedede too stunned to do anything for the moment.
Concerning the sack of food: I've already stretched things with the use-one's-hands-for-the-air-puff deal, so I figured it would be better to have Kirby's actress carrying a sack instead of the whole of Castle Dedede.
Concerning the lack of decent spacing: If you wanna see the paragraphs and everything the waythey should be, come to the Kirby's Rainbow Resort forums and head to the Kirby Cafe.
And that's the end!