Bright- *in a white lab coat* I have done it!
Ag- And you're in a lab coat why?
Bright- For Halloween. That and I had 20 different kinds of surgery teats today.
Minako9- Yay! More! I wanna read!
Ag- Hold it! *pulls away computer* You haven't updated your fics. You can read them!
M9- *pouts and sits in a corner*
Ag- That'll make her update! *evil laughter*
Bright- *notices M9 reading the fic on her laptop* Whatever you say. By the way, we don't own so you can't sue. : P
Phoenix
Chapter 5- Memories That Haunt Me
At the door Fang pushed past Heero.
Howard glared at Fang. Fang glared at Howard. Heero who was carrying Quatre's limp form grunted, "Hn, Dog, will you get out of the way!"
Howard advanced towards them an almost predatory look on his face. Fang and Howard were still staring each other down. Howard put hand on Quatre then tilted his head slightly. Fang shifted allowing Heero to squeeze through. Howard wouldn't let Fang past until the wolf looked down then the whole competition seemed over.
"Howard?" asked Duo. "What was that all about?"
Trowa was the one who replied. "This is his house, Duo."
"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Duo, wishing sometimes that Trowa wouldn't be so blasted enigmatic.
"Quatre's friend and I were just having a little chat," answered Howard who was now petting Fang.
"What'd you say to each other?" asked Duo, curious. Quatre looked like he was just starting to stir.
"If I may?" suggested Wufei who considered himself something of a scholar, not to mention the fact that his dragon heritage reinforced similar dominance ideas. Howard shrugged casually. It wasn't like it had been a private conversation. "Howard," Wufei indicated with a small nod, "insisted that he is the wolf in charge in this territory, the alpha male. Fang interposed himself between Howard and Quatre, establishing that Quatre was his pack mate. By leaning in towards Quatre then making physical contact by touching him on the head Howard accepted responsibility for Quatre. Both Fang and Howard seem to have agreed that Quatre is," Wufei's brow furrowed in confusion. "...still a puppy?" Wufei guessed. "And therefore automatically out of the running for the position of alpha male. And um... well Fang conceded that Howard could be alpha male."
"Close enough," admitted Howard with a noncommittal shrug. "The thing about Quatre was more about us agreeing that we would take care of him but him being adolescent or immature and therefore not alpha male is kind of implied."
Duo grinned.
"What!" demanded Wufei suspiciously.
"So you're saying... our Kittie-Kat is a bird and a puppy," Duo announced with a silly grin.
"You moronic baka," Wufei grumbled. "I do you the favor of giving you a serious answer and all you get out of it is Birdie-Cat-Dog. See if I give you a straight answer ever again!"
Trowa closed his eyes and banged the back of his head against the wall a few times. Duo and Wufei just never stopped. Never, never, never, never... Trowa banged his head against the wall punctuating each never. Trowa actually liked silence. He wanted Duo and Wufei to shut the heck up. Just for a few hours.
Heero poked Trowa to get his attention. Trowa left off banging his head against the wall and looked at Heero with an eyebrow raised.
"We've had something following us from the time we set out. Fang or the Beast?" demanded Heero, all business as always.
Trowa nodded towards Fang.
Quatre woke up and promptly emptied the contents of his stomach over the edge of the bed he'd been laid in. He was shaking and obviously distressed. It was cleaned up in a moment or two. Fang hopped up on the bed and curled on top of Quatre nuzzling him gently.
All the boys looked worried. Trowa who seemed to have some sort of a sixth sense about certain things nodded for Howard and the other boys to leave.
"What's wrong?" asked Trowa.
"I killed him!"
Trowa shook his head no.
"What happened? He was trying to hurt me or, I don't know but I was frightened and all of a sudden it was like I was on fire inside and then it exploded out and everything was on fire," Quatre babbled distraught.
"No," spoke Trowa. "It was a controlled burst of fire directed exactly at what was threatening you."
"It didn't feel controlled. I've never used my power to hurt someone before. Where is he? What happened to him?"
"You knocked him out. We left him there."
Quatre still very distraught recklessly threw his empathic senses wide open. His eyes unfocused and Trowa had to quickly catch him to keep him from falling out of the bed. Trowa held Quatre concerned until the small blond blinked and seemed to come out of it. Quatre shook his head. "No, no, no."
"You're trembling. Calm down."
"He IS dead!"
"It was not you!" Trowa reiterated, insistent on this point. The elf held Quatre until the shaking seemed to pass. Fang licked Quatre's face worriedly.
"Death is a part of the natural cycle. Every creature, every living thing with a will is meant to value it's own life over a life that threatens it. When it comes to kill or be killed there is no good or evil," Trowa spoke.
Eventually Quatre calmed, as he seemed to accept Trowa's words.
"Are you okay now?" Trowa asked.
Quatre nodded. "I had no control over what was happening," Quatre whispered. "I know sometimes the only way will be to ... kill or be killed. I just don't want to feel like that again; like there's no control."
Trowa nodded and was silent for a long while before finding what he wanted to say. "Train. Practice control. Build strength so you don't collapse after every burst of power. We will help."
Pale and scared, Quatre nodded. The power seemed terrifying now and Trowa, Trowa and the others wanted it to grow?
"Little one. On my word of honor, I promise you, I won't let it overwhelm you."
Quatre woke the next morning to a loud bang and scream. He scrambled out of bed. Heero and Trowa were at his side at once. They went together to investigate. Duo came barreling past cackling with glee. Wufei came storming after him covered head to toe in oatmeal. After a few calming breathes to clear away the adrenaline and Heero's muttered "Omea o Koroso, Duo..." They all wandered into the kitchen. Howard was grinning wolfishly and snickering.
Trowa's eyebrow rose and Howard chuckled. "I sell special weapons. I was showing Duo some of the items I acquired recently."
"And?" demanded Heero, irate.
"Chinese firecrackers in the oatmeal," laughed Howard spreading his hands, shaking his head in denial and stepping back from the obviously seething Heero. "I just sold him a few things. The oatmeal was his idea."
Heero growled.
Howard changed forms and raced off laughing wolfishly. Heero was so thoroughly ticked off he chased after him. "What kind of a IDIOT sells DUO firecrackers!" Heero roared.
Quatre burst out laughing. Trowa chuckled lightly at Heero who had finally lost it.
Howard eventually made his peace with Heero by letting him have a few 'special' weapons free of charge.
The five boys were on the road early hoping to leave the trouble that had found them behind.
Wufei had decided that Quatre needed toughening up so he had the small blond carrying almost all of the supplies. Every time Quatre stumbled or paused Wufei was right there breathing down on his neck. Heero and Trowa seemed to be ignoring all of this. Duo was becoming progressively more and more outraged by Wufei's behavior and by the fact that Quatre wasn't sticking up for himself or complaining.
Wufei was getting more and more bad tempered because Duo, angry about Kat's treatment, was harassing him even more than usual; only Duo was a little mean spirited because he was mad.
Wufei as if trying to prove a point piled something else on Quatre every time Duo harassed him. Finally Quatre was carrying everything but the weapons, including all of Duo's stuff, something Duo was not happy about.
They traveled along, Quatre between the feuding Wufei and Duo until after some distance Heero looked back and starred at Quatre incredulous. Trowa who had been scouting ahead came back to see what the hold up was. "How long has he been carrying all of that?" Heero asked curious.
"The past five miles or so," snapped Duo grouchily.
As one, Heero and Trowa moved to unburden the small phoenix. He looked like he was about to die. They had him completely unburdened and sat down in a matter of moments. Trowa looked at Wufei and Duo disapprovingly, then looked back to Quatre giving him something to drink and watching him carefully.
Wufei crossed his arms defensively, a fixed angry expression on his face as if daring anyone to imply he had done anything wrong. Duo kept flicking leaves at Wufei with his tail, obviously thinking if that blasted dragon had hurt his little buddy he was in for it.
"Please don't fight," pleaded Quatre.
Duo and Wufei glared at each other.
"It was heavy but it was alright," Quatre spoke trying to soothe Duo.
"That's a fat load of bull! It's not alright!" Duo exploded. "He's been picking on you and going on about you being weak since day one! I won't stand it anymore and I don't know why you just let it go! You should stand up for yourself, Kat!"
"He was doing fine!" Wufei shouted back. "You don't know anything about it! I'm not mean or cruel!"
"Why is it so important to you I be strong," asked Quatre.
Wufei glared and made no word towards answering.
Duo just couldn't leave it alone. He was too angry to be patient. A mean right hook soon leads to an all out scuffle. Quatre stepped between them immediately. "Please we mustn't fight!"
Wufei tossed his katana off to one side. They didn't want to kill each other. They just wanted to beat the living daylights out of each other. Wufei got Duo right in the eye.
"Stop! Please!" Quatre was ignored. His efforts at peace keeping resulted in an elbow to the nose.
Duo got one fist bunched in Wufei's shirt and was trying to get a few good swings in but Wufei had his other hand grab at the wrist. Wufei had Duo's braid and was yanking for all he was worth. Quatre was trapped between the two. When they started kicking, all three went tumbling.
Quatre woke unsure how much time had passed. He'd got knocked on the head. It couldn't have been more than a few moments. Wufei was sat at one side of the clearing, Duo at the other. Both looked somewhat ashamed as they watched Quatre sit up, however, they still both looked pretty angry. Quatre waved Trowa off. Quatre was fine. He'd just been stunned for a moment. His natural healing abilities meant the bruises were already fading.
Heero was glaring at both Duo and Wufei and looking extremely pissed off. He had one hand fisted around his sword hilt and the other hand just plain fisted.
"Wufei, can I talk with you alone?" asked Quatre, getting to his feet and shaking out his ruffled feathers.
Wufei nodded. "As long as I don't have to talk to that braided menace!" he snapped.
They went off into the woods a ways. Heero reluctantly gave Wufei back his katana so Quatre would not be undefended.
"You're not mad at me but your mad at Duo," Quatre spoke.
Wufei nodded unaware that he was glaring at the small blond fiercely.
"Can you see why it would seem to Duo as if you were being harsh with me?" asked Quatre.
"You were carrying it all! I wasn't mad at you! I was mad at him!" Wufei ground out defensively.
"Were you trying to show Duo something or me," asked Quatre, patient and calm.
"He was insulting you more than I was!"
This was getting Quatre nowhere. Wufei was so angry he turned every question into and attack about Duo.
Quatre took up a meditative pose and gestured for Wufei to do the same in front of him. They sat lotus style with knees touching and hands joined. "Clear your mind of anger. Focus on the sound of my breath. With each breath let the anger flow out of you." Quatre's voice was soothing and hypnotic. In a little while the forest seemed to evaporate around them. Wufei could feel Quatre's warmth reach out to him. It was warm.
"You don't want me to be weak," Quatre whispered his voice leading Wufei to answer.
"I am weak," Wufei answered, mildly surprised at the words coming out of his own mouth.
"Why are you weak?"
"I let Meiran die."
"Who was Meiran?"
"She was my friend," Wufei explained unsure why he was so calmly chatting about this. "She was my wife too."
"You don't have many friends?" asked Quatre.
"No," answered Wufei.
"Am I your friend?"
"No."
"Is Duo your friend?"
"Yes."
"Why are you angry with him?"
"He wouldn't let me protect you. He didn't understand. He didn't trust me."
Wufei was drifting away from Quatre's calm warmth. Every question seemed to bring a more emotional response and Quatre has lost some of his calm to sorrow when Wufei had admitted that he didn't think of him as a friend. Quatre was confused. All day he had been certain he had felt something from Wufei. He had thought it was friendship.
"Am I a burden?" asked Quatre. You cannot lie when your heart and mind are open wide.
"Yes."
Quatre was having trouble keeping his empathy open and not hiding behind invisible barriers of loneliness. Wufei surprised him. He reached out to Quatre his mind no longer clouded by anger.
"Meiran was a burden too, a precious responsibility to bear. A warrior's skill and strength come naturally to me. The blood of dragons flows in my veins.
"An army of beast raiders attacked my clan. Nataku, my Meiran, went to fight them after the elders asked me to fight and I refused, not believing one person could make a difference. She was insistent on defending against the injustice of oppression. When I found she had gone in my place I went after her to get her out. I arrived too late. She died in my arms. The beasts poisoned the wells. They salted every field but the field of flowers Nataku had held against them. When I returned to the village after burying my wife, no one was left. The poison had killed everyone. Meiran's field was the only untainted place.
"If I had lent my strength to hers. Her justice would have saved more than one field of flowers and one solitary, unworthy dragon. The spirit of justice in me is her memory."
Wufei hadn't meant to tell Quatre something so intensely personal but he had desperately needed to tell someone for so long. Quatre's healing warmth freed the truth from its icy prison.
"Duo is like Meiran? You are mad at him because he wants justice and he doesn't see you are trying?" asked Quatre, confused.
"No," Wufei answered in thought. "Duo is me. You are Meiran."
With a flash of insight, Quatre came to understand. In a deep meditative state, he did not even notice as Wufei lifted him into his arms and carried him back to the campsite. Quatre didn't hear Heero's sharp "What happened?"
Quatre didn't hear Wufei's gentle "He healed me. His mind is resting. He's fine."
Nor did he hear Wufei and Duo make their peace.
Quatre's mind shifted through the images Wufei's subconscious had brought into clarity.
... the family Wufei had lost and longed for. The responsibility Wufei felt as a guardian and Quatre's own gentle innocence...
I am the same age as him but to him I am a little brother, someone to look out for, to be strong for, to teach and share with. For the love of Meiran, Wufei wants to teach me to be strong. He is angry when I am weak because he is afraid he won't be able to protect me.
When Duo was trying to protect me, Wufei kept looking at him and seeing himself, ... because Duo was getting angry instead of having faith in him and in me.
I was lifting all that stuff. How was I doing that?
Wufei was annoyed with Duo but he was angry at the memory of himself.
Quatre opened his eyes. Everything was peaceful.
Ag- *stares at Bright disbelieving* I don't know weather I should pound you or Wufei for picking on Quatre.
Bright- *gulp* But Wufei's reasons are explained. Besides, it's not my fault he has a "I hate weak people" attitude.
Ag- *sigh* It looks like I have to bring in some more action.
Ly- No you don't! *grabs Ag and starts to drag her away* As your muse for Crossing, I demand that you write that and post it!
M9- *grabs Ag's other arm* No you don't! I'm her muse for this fic and she's writing the next chap to this!
Ag- *stuck in human tug of war* HELP ME!!!!!!
Bright- I would but I'm on vaca for this fic right now. *sips her soda and relaxes in a hammock*
AG- I'll work on them both ok! I'll do Phoenix in school and Crossing after. Just DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!
Ly and M9- Ok. *releases her* Bye everybody.
Ag- And you're in a lab coat why?
Bright- For Halloween. That and I had 20 different kinds of surgery teats today.
Minako9- Yay! More! I wanna read!
Ag- Hold it! *pulls away computer* You haven't updated your fics. You can read them!
M9- *pouts and sits in a corner*
Ag- That'll make her update! *evil laughter*
Bright- *notices M9 reading the fic on her laptop* Whatever you say. By the way, we don't own so you can't sue. : P
Phoenix
Chapter 5- Memories That Haunt Me
At the door Fang pushed past Heero.
Howard glared at Fang. Fang glared at Howard. Heero who was carrying Quatre's limp form grunted, "Hn, Dog, will you get out of the way!"
Howard advanced towards them an almost predatory look on his face. Fang and Howard were still staring each other down. Howard put hand on Quatre then tilted his head slightly. Fang shifted allowing Heero to squeeze through. Howard wouldn't let Fang past until the wolf looked down then the whole competition seemed over.
"Howard?" asked Duo. "What was that all about?"
Trowa was the one who replied. "This is his house, Duo."
"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Duo, wishing sometimes that Trowa wouldn't be so blasted enigmatic.
"Quatre's friend and I were just having a little chat," answered Howard who was now petting Fang.
"What'd you say to each other?" asked Duo, curious. Quatre looked like he was just starting to stir.
"If I may?" suggested Wufei who considered himself something of a scholar, not to mention the fact that his dragon heritage reinforced similar dominance ideas. Howard shrugged casually. It wasn't like it had been a private conversation. "Howard," Wufei indicated with a small nod, "insisted that he is the wolf in charge in this territory, the alpha male. Fang interposed himself between Howard and Quatre, establishing that Quatre was his pack mate. By leaning in towards Quatre then making physical contact by touching him on the head Howard accepted responsibility for Quatre. Both Fang and Howard seem to have agreed that Quatre is," Wufei's brow furrowed in confusion. "...still a puppy?" Wufei guessed. "And therefore automatically out of the running for the position of alpha male. And um... well Fang conceded that Howard could be alpha male."
"Close enough," admitted Howard with a noncommittal shrug. "The thing about Quatre was more about us agreeing that we would take care of him but him being adolescent or immature and therefore not alpha male is kind of implied."
Duo grinned.
"What!" demanded Wufei suspiciously.
"So you're saying... our Kittie-Kat is a bird and a puppy," Duo announced with a silly grin.
"You moronic baka," Wufei grumbled. "I do you the favor of giving you a serious answer and all you get out of it is Birdie-Cat-Dog. See if I give you a straight answer ever again!"
Trowa closed his eyes and banged the back of his head against the wall a few times. Duo and Wufei just never stopped. Never, never, never, never... Trowa banged his head against the wall punctuating each never. Trowa actually liked silence. He wanted Duo and Wufei to shut the heck up. Just for a few hours.
Heero poked Trowa to get his attention. Trowa left off banging his head against the wall and looked at Heero with an eyebrow raised.
"We've had something following us from the time we set out. Fang or the Beast?" demanded Heero, all business as always.
Trowa nodded towards Fang.
Quatre woke up and promptly emptied the contents of his stomach over the edge of the bed he'd been laid in. He was shaking and obviously distressed. It was cleaned up in a moment or two. Fang hopped up on the bed and curled on top of Quatre nuzzling him gently.
All the boys looked worried. Trowa who seemed to have some sort of a sixth sense about certain things nodded for Howard and the other boys to leave.
"What's wrong?" asked Trowa.
"I killed him!"
Trowa shook his head no.
"What happened? He was trying to hurt me or, I don't know but I was frightened and all of a sudden it was like I was on fire inside and then it exploded out and everything was on fire," Quatre babbled distraught.
"No," spoke Trowa. "It was a controlled burst of fire directed exactly at what was threatening you."
"It didn't feel controlled. I've never used my power to hurt someone before. Where is he? What happened to him?"
"You knocked him out. We left him there."
Quatre still very distraught recklessly threw his empathic senses wide open. His eyes unfocused and Trowa had to quickly catch him to keep him from falling out of the bed. Trowa held Quatre concerned until the small blond blinked and seemed to come out of it. Quatre shook his head. "No, no, no."
"You're trembling. Calm down."
"He IS dead!"
"It was not you!" Trowa reiterated, insistent on this point. The elf held Quatre until the shaking seemed to pass. Fang licked Quatre's face worriedly.
"Death is a part of the natural cycle. Every creature, every living thing with a will is meant to value it's own life over a life that threatens it. When it comes to kill or be killed there is no good or evil," Trowa spoke.
Eventually Quatre calmed, as he seemed to accept Trowa's words.
"Are you okay now?" Trowa asked.
Quatre nodded. "I had no control over what was happening," Quatre whispered. "I know sometimes the only way will be to ... kill or be killed. I just don't want to feel like that again; like there's no control."
Trowa nodded and was silent for a long while before finding what he wanted to say. "Train. Practice control. Build strength so you don't collapse after every burst of power. We will help."
Pale and scared, Quatre nodded. The power seemed terrifying now and Trowa, Trowa and the others wanted it to grow?
"Little one. On my word of honor, I promise you, I won't let it overwhelm you."
Quatre woke the next morning to a loud bang and scream. He scrambled out of bed. Heero and Trowa were at his side at once. They went together to investigate. Duo came barreling past cackling with glee. Wufei came storming after him covered head to toe in oatmeal. After a few calming breathes to clear away the adrenaline and Heero's muttered "Omea o Koroso, Duo..." They all wandered into the kitchen. Howard was grinning wolfishly and snickering.
Trowa's eyebrow rose and Howard chuckled. "I sell special weapons. I was showing Duo some of the items I acquired recently."
"And?" demanded Heero, irate.
"Chinese firecrackers in the oatmeal," laughed Howard spreading his hands, shaking his head in denial and stepping back from the obviously seething Heero. "I just sold him a few things. The oatmeal was his idea."
Heero growled.
Howard changed forms and raced off laughing wolfishly. Heero was so thoroughly ticked off he chased after him. "What kind of a IDIOT sells DUO firecrackers!" Heero roared.
Quatre burst out laughing. Trowa chuckled lightly at Heero who had finally lost it.
Howard eventually made his peace with Heero by letting him have a few 'special' weapons free of charge.
The five boys were on the road early hoping to leave the trouble that had found them behind.
Wufei had decided that Quatre needed toughening up so he had the small blond carrying almost all of the supplies. Every time Quatre stumbled or paused Wufei was right there breathing down on his neck. Heero and Trowa seemed to be ignoring all of this. Duo was becoming progressively more and more outraged by Wufei's behavior and by the fact that Quatre wasn't sticking up for himself or complaining.
Wufei was getting more and more bad tempered because Duo, angry about Kat's treatment, was harassing him even more than usual; only Duo was a little mean spirited because he was mad.
Wufei as if trying to prove a point piled something else on Quatre every time Duo harassed him. Finally Quatre was carrying everything but the weapons, including all of Duo's stuff, something Duo was not happy about.
They traveled along, Quatre between the feuding Wufei and Duo until after some distance Heero looked back and starred at Quatre incredulous. Trowa who had been scouting ahead came back to see what the hold up was. "How long has he been carrying all of that?" Heero asked curious.
"The past five miles or so," snapped Duo grouchily.
As one, Heero and Trowa moved to unburden the small phoenix. He looked like he was about to die. They had him completely unburdened and sat down in a matter of moments. Trowa looked at Wufei and Duo disapprovingly, then looked back to Quatre giving him something to drink and watching him carefully.
Wufei crossed his arms defensively, a fixed angry expression on his face as if daring anyone to imply he had done anything wrong. Duo kept flicking leaves at Wufei with his tail, obviously thinking if that blasted dragon had hurt his little buddy he was in for it.
"Please don't fight," pleaded Quatre.
Duo and Wufei glared at each other.
"It was heavy but it was alright," Quatre spoke trying to soothe Duo.
"That's a fat load of bull! It's not alright!" Duo exploded. "He's been picking on you and going on about you being weak since day one! I won't stand it anymore and I don't know why you just let it go! You should stand up for yourself, Kat!"
"He was doing fine!" Wufei shouted back. "You don't know anything about it! I'm not mean or cruel!"
"Why is it so important to you I be strong," asked Quatre.
Wufei glared and made no word towards answering.
Duo just couldn't leave it alone. He was too angry to be patient. A mean right hook soon leads to an all out scuffle. Quatre stepped between them immediately. "Please we mustn't fight!"
Wufei tossed his katana off to one side. They didn't want to kill each other. They just wanted to beat the living daylights out of each other. Wufei got Duo right in the eye.
"Stop! Please!" Quatre was ignored. His efforts at peace keeping resulted in an elbow to the nose.
Duo got one fist bunched in Wufei's shirt and was trying to get a few good swings in but Wufei had his other hand grab at the wrist. Wufei had Duo's braid and was yanking for all he was worth. Quatre was trapped between the two. When they started kicking, all three went tumbling.
Quatre woke unsure how much time had passed. He'd got knocked on the head. It couldn't have been more than a few moments. Wufei was sat at one side of the clearing, Duo at the other. Both looked somewhat ashamed as they watched Quatre sit up, however, they still both looked pretty angry. Quatre waved Trowa off. Quatre was fine. He'd just been stunned for a moment. His natural healing abilities meant the bruises were already fading.
Heero was glaring at both Duo and Wufei and looking extremely pissed off. He had one hand fisted around his sword hilt and the other hand just plain fisted.
"Wufei, can I talk with you alone?" asked Quatre, getting to his feet and shaking out his ruffled feathers.
Wufei nodded. "As long as I don't have to talk to that braided menace!" he snapped.
They went off into the woods a ways. Heero reluctantly gave Wufei back his katana so Quatre would not be undefended.
"You're not mad at me but your mad at Duo," Quatre spoke.
Wufei nodded unaware that he was glaring at the small blond fiercely.
"Can you see why it would seem to Duo as if you were being harsh with me?" asked Quatre.
"You were carrying it all! I wasn't mad at you! I was mad at him!" Wufei ground out defensively.
"Were you trying to show Duo something or me," asked Quatre, patient and calm.
"He was insulting you more than I was!"
This was getting Quatre nowhere. Wufei was so angry he turned every question into and attack about Duo.
Quatre took up a meditative pose and gestured for Wufei to do the same in front of him. They sat lotus style with knees touching and hands joined. "Clear your mind of anger. Focus on the sound of my breath. With each breath let the anger flow out of you." Quatre's voice was soothing and hypnotic. In a little while the forest seemed to evaporate around them. Wufei could feel Quatre's warmth reach out to him. It was warm.
"You don't want me to be weak," Quatre whispered his voice leading Wufei to answer.
"I am weak," Wufei answered, mildly surprised at the words coming out of his own mouth.
"Why are you weak?"
"I let Meiran die."
"Who was Meiran?"
"She was my friend," Wufei explained unsure why he was so calmly chatting about this. "She was my wife too."
"You don't have many friends?" asked Quatre.
"No," answered Wufei.
"Am I your friend?"
"No."
"Is Duo your friend?"
"Yes."
"Why are you angry with him?"
"He wouldn't let me protect you. He didn't understand. He didn't trust me."
Wufei was drifting away from Quatre's calm warmth. Every question seemed to bring a more emotional response and Quatre has lost some of his calm to sorrow when Wufei had admitted that he didn't think of him as a friend. Quatre was confused. All day he had been certain he had felt something from Wufei. He had thought it was friendship.
"Am I a burden?" asked Quatre. You cannot lie when your heart and mind are open wide.
"Yes."
Quatre was having trouble keeping his empathy open and not hiding behind invisible barriers of loneliness. Wufei surprised him. He reached out to Quatre his mind no longer clouded by anger.
"Meiran was a burden too, a precious responsibility to bear. A warrior's skill and strength come naturally to me. The blood of dragons flows in my veins.
"An army of beast raiders attacked my clan. Nataku, my Meiran, went to fight them after the elders asked me to fight and I refused, not believing one person could make a difference. She was insistent on defending against the injustice of oppression. When I found she had gone in my place I went after her to get her out. I arrived too late. She died in my arms. The beasts poisoned the wells. They salted every field but the field of flowers Nataku had held against them. When I returned to the village after burying my wife, no one was left. The poison had killed everyone. Meiran's field was the only untainted place.
"If I had lent my strength to hers. Her justice would have saved more than one field of flowers and one solitary, unworthy dragon. The spirit of justice in me is her memory."
Wufei hadn't meant to tell Quatre something so intensely personal but he had desperately needed to tell someone for so long. Quatre's healing warmth freed the truth from its icy prison.
"Duo is like Meiran? You are mad at him because he wants justice and he doesn't see you are trying?" asked Quatre, confused.
"No," Wufei answered in thought. "Duo is me. You are Meiran."
With a flash of insight, Quatre came to understand. In a deep meditative state, he did not even notice as Wufei lifted him into his arms and carried him back to the campsite. Quatre didn't hear Heero's sharp "What happened?"
Quatre didn't hear Wufei's gentle "He healed me. His mind is resting. He's fine."
Nor did he hear Wufei and Duo make their peace.
Quatre's mind shifted through the images Wufei's subconscious had brought into clarity.
... the family Wufei had lost and longed for. The responsibility Wufei felt as a guardian and Quatre's own gentle innocence...
I am the same age as him but to him I am a little brother, someone to look out for, to be strong for, to teach and share with. For the love of Meiran, Wufei wants to teach me to be strong. He is angry when I am weak because he is afraid he won't be able to protect me.
When Duo was trying to protect me, Wufei kept looking at him and seeing himself, ... because Duo was getting angry instead of having faith in him and in me.
I was lifting all that stuff. How was I doing that?
Wufei was annoyed with Duo but he was angry at the memory of himself.
Quatre opened his eyes. Everything was peaceful.
Ag- *stares at Bright disbelieving* I don't know weather I should pound you or Wufei for picking on Quatre.
Bright- *gulp* But Wufei's reasons are explained. Besides, it's not my fault he has a "I hate weak people" attitude.
Ag- *sigh* It looks like I have to bring in some more action.
Ly- No you don't! *grabs Ag and starts to drag her away* As your muse for Crossing, I demand that you write that and post it!
M9- *grabs Ag's other arm* No you don't! I'm her muse for this fic and she's writing the next chap to this!
Ag- *stuck in human tug of war* HELP ME!!!!!!
Bright- I would but I'm on vaca for this fic right now. *sips her soda and relaxes in a hammock*
AG- I'll work on them both ok! I'll do Phoenix in school and Crossing after. Just DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!
Ly and M9- Ok. *releases her* Bye everybody.