Amazing Grace
Chapter 2
"Do you take cream and sugar?"
Angel looked up at her with a smile. "No thanks, just black."
Kate couldn't help but smile back. She'd finally done it. She'd won him. He was her's and no one else's. They would be happy for the rest of their lives. Okay Lockley, she thought to herself. You're fantasizing now.
She handed Angel his coffee. "You've hardly touched your pancakes...are they gross? Tell me, really...'cause I know I'm not the best cook and I somehow manage to mess everything up."
Angel laughed. "No, no. They're great. I'm just not that hungry."
The thought made him want to kill her right then and there, after all, he'd only fed once in two days... But she wasn't ready. He needed to ripen her up first. He pushed the thought out of his mind.
"There you go again, Kate! You're too hard on yourself, you know that?"
Kate blushed. She didn't know why she kept doing that. She was just getting used to the sudden change she supposed. Somehow, she'd always known that she turned him on, women are experts at body language after all. But he just didn't seem like the kind of guy who would be in a serious relationship. Now that they'd slept together things were different. Somehow, he seemed like a different person.
"Umm...Kate?"
"Yeah?" she answered, putting her coffee mug in the sink before turning to face Angel. He was very absorbed in his fingernails it seemed, and she smiled to herself.
"What happened...between us last night..."
Her smile faded. He wouldn't. It can't be...
"I might have been a little bit drunk..."
That part's true, he thought. That girl must've had a lot of alcohol in her system. He didn't show his thoughts on his face, but continued to play for the crowd.
"I didn't mean for it to happen."
Kate felt a lump rising in her throat. "What?" She asked him, her voice barely above a whisper.
Angel sighed. "I just--oh God, this is harder than I..." He trailed off, still not making eye contact with her.
Kate's vision blurred with silent tears. He'd been drunk. The time they'd spent together meant absolutely nothing to him. Why hadn't she seen it coming? She hadn't braced herself for this.
"I can't be with you, Kate." Angel tried to sound sympathetic.
Kate's sadness quickly boiled over into anger. "So, what? You went out to party with your little gang of side-kicks, had a few drinks, and thought it would be fun to use me for one night?"
"Kate, it's not--"
"Oh, you bet your ass it is! Did last night mean anything to you?" At those words Angel stood up and looked Kate in the eyes.
"No."
"What?" Kate's anger melted back into sadness, almost despair. He wasn't supposed to say that. "But...why?"
"Because I wasn't even there!" Angel shouted. "Do you think I could've stomached it if I weren't zoned out? I felt nothing."
"Why are you doing this?" She squeaked, her voice cracking. "I thought--"
"Yeah. See where thinking gets you?" Angel grabbed his shoes off of a chair and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him. Walking down the hallway, he grinned at the sound of Kate sobbing on the floor.
He'd cracked her emotionally. After a good feed, he'd be back. He was simply jonesing to get physical.
Several hours later.
"I'm out of ideas. He could be anywhere." Cordelia threw herself onto the couch the second she walked into the office, Doyle was just a step behind. "For all I know he's on his way here now to deal with us."
At those words they both looked cautiously around the office, and Doyle opened the blinds, allowing bright glorious sunlight to flood the room, before sitting up on top of Cordelia's desk.
"It's weird..." she said from over on the couch. "...not having Angel moaping around. The way he pretends to read his stuffy books, just to avoid having to talk to anyone."
Doyle smiled at that. He knew all too well. "The way he downs a cuppa coffee every morning, just in an attempt to be more social." Doyle added. Cordelia snorted.
"Yeah! And how he's always playing with the weapons--"
"Messing with 'is hair--"
"Fiddling with his pencil--"
"Singing Barry Manilow--"
"Brooding!" They both said at once, instantly falling into a fit of laughter. When their giggles had ceased they both sat in silence for awhile before Cordelia spoke again.
"He's a good guy."
Doyle nodded. Then, he suddenly noticed, for the first time, that there was a message on the answering machine. "Hey look." He pressed play.
Angel? Angel are you there?
Kate's voice shook, or maybe her hands were shaking holding the phone. It was hard to tell.
Please, Angel if you're there...we need to talk. I'm not trying to pull you back into a situation or anything, but I'm sorry for freaking out on you this morning, and I just want to--
Doyle turned it off, staring first at the machine, then at Cordelia. "It's Detective Lockley..."
"She's his next victim." Cordelia jumped off the couch and pulled her keys out of her pocket. "If we hurry, we might be able to save her!" She bolted out the door.
Doyle grabbed a stake that was sitting on top of the water-cooler, and quickly followed her out.
God, day-hunting was a major pain in the ass. There wasn't really any place to hide the bodies except in the sewers, and good luck lugging a dead body into the sewers without being noticed. The way he figured, he would have an easier time hiding something small. He grinned ear to ear when he saw the little girl walk into the fudgery. He followed, careful to stay in the shadows.
Twenty minutes later, he stepped out of the alley, wiping the last traces of blood off his mouth. Angel stood against the brick wall and watched the shadows get longer and longer. The sun was setting. Time to get back to his lover, he didn't want to make her worry.
Cordelia and Doyle burst through the door and scanned the room, finding only Kate, sitting by the phone with a box of tissues.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" She tried to sound angry, but her face reflected only sorrow.
Cordelia walked over and knelt beside her. "He left you?" Kate nodded, stifling a sob.
"Step one." Cordelia muttered. "Do you know where he went?"
"I'm right here."
Cordelia spun around to see Angel standing just inside the door, holding Doyle by the throat. Doyle had dropped his stake. Cordelia moved to pick it up, but Angel held Doyle tighter.
"Any closer I'll break his neck." He sneered. Cordy retreated back to the table.
"Yeah, thought so." Angel taunted. "I figured you wouldn't try. You probably couldn't save him anyway. Why'd you even bother coming here? Did you really think you could stop me? You'll never be worth anything. Even in Sunnydale no one liked you. I have it on good authority, that there was once a 'We Hate Cordelia' Club. And can you guess who was treasurer of said club? Xander Harris." Angel laughed at Cordelia's hurt expression. "Oh yeah!" He continued. "Even your boyfriend couldn't stand you. Who saw that one coming, huh?"
At that moment Kate pulled a gun out from the bread cabinet that sat on the table, and fired a bullet through Angel's chest, but he didn't release his grip on Doyle.
"Aah, fuck!" He shouted. After he'd regained himself he glared at her. "You'll pay for that." He said through gritted teeth.
Kate blinked, and then fired the last five bullets at Angel, still he didn't let go of Doyle.
"Shit!" Angel screamed. "Give it up, that really hurts!"
Kate sunk back into her chair, staring blankly at the gun she held in her hand.
Angel laughed. "What did you say this morning? Uh...damn, what was it...oh right! 'I somehow manage to mess everything up.'? Seriously, you can't even fire a gun. Some cop you turned out to be."
Kate looked up at Angel, looking him straight in the eye.
"Yup. You know it's true don't you, Kate?" Angel teased. "You've never been good enough for anyone, not even your own father. Man...I wonder what he's gonna think." He cocked his head to one side. "Hey, do you suppose he'll miss you? Or do you think he'll just forget about you? I'm really curious. Cause I mean, wow. You two really hit it off there at his retirement party didn't you?"
He sighed. "Huh..tough crowd."
"Shut up you prick."
Angel's eyes focused on Cordelia. "Whoa." He pretended to be intimidated. "That was scary."
"I'm a whole lot scarier with a stake. Pointy wood. It does things to a vampire. Mostly death type things."
Angel chuckled. "Right, so come over here and get your stake then."
Cordelia smirked. "Oh, I don't need that one." She pulled a second stake from her purse. "I brought my own." She brandished it at him. "Honestly, you really think I'd EVER leave my apartment without one?" Cordelia raised the stake, ready to strike.
"I'll kill him!" Angel shouted, gripping Doyle's neck tighter. "You move and I'll kill him!"
"No you won't."
He stared at her. "What the hell do you mean, 'No I won't.'?"
Cordelia took a step forward. "It's what Doyle's been telling me. You aren't Angelus."
Angel didn't say anything. His eyes were blank and unfocused, and he was visibly shaking.
Cordelia moved closer and raised her hand to wipe the tears from his face.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He screamed.
"Angel--"
"No--" Angel shook his head, his eyes closed tight.
"Yes. Angel. Come back." Cordelia tried to hold him, but he pushed her roughly away and backed against the wall.
"I'll kill him!" Angel shouted as he raised Doyle off the ground.
Doyle struggled to breathe, but couldn't.
"I'll kill him!" Angel repeated desperately, his voice breaking.
Cordelia backed away. "Then kill him."
Angel's eyes suddenly focused on Cordelia, as if seeing her for the first time. He dropped Doyle on the floor, and took several steps back.
Cordelia ran to Doyle and helped him sit up as he gasped desperately for air.
Angel stood motionless for a long time, his face lacking any sign of emotion. But his eyes screamed.
He swayed off balance and fell to his knees. "Oh God..." His weight fell on his hands and he gagged and vomited, his head hanging limply between his shoulders.
Cordelia didn't dare try to approach him yet.
"Are you okay?" She asked Doyle. He nodded, but couldn't speak.. Cordelia snapped her fingers.
"Oh! Water! You should drink some water." She stood up, but Doyle pulled her back down, and pulled a small vile out of his jacket pocket.
"You want me to put this in your water?"
Doyle shook his head, and pointed at Kate, who hadn't moved.
"Oh." Cordelia stood again and went into the kitchen, returning a moment later with two glasses. One filled with tap water, the other filled with oddly pink-colored water. The pink glass she gave to Kate.
Doyle took a sip of his water and grimaced, rubbing his throat. "Thank you." He whispered to Cordelia, his voice raspy.
"What was in the vile?" She asked him.
"A memory potion. When she wakes up tomorrow morning, she won't remember anything that's 'appened in the past 48 'ours."
"Oh...good thinking. Where'd you get it?"
"I know a guy." He joked and smiled weakly to back himself up. "We should get 'er to bed, the sedative should be workin'."
Cordelia shot an unsure look in Angel's direction. He had crawled over to the couch and was leaning against it, staring at the floor. Cordelia shivered. To her, it looked almost like he was dead, not breathing with his eyes all blank like that.
Doyle put a hand on her shoulder. "He'll be fine for five minutes. Kate on the other 'and is gonna pass out before then."
Cordelia nodded. They stood up, and each took one of Kate's arms to throw over their shoulder. They managed to get her down on the bed before she fell asleep.
Walking back into the living room of the apartment, Cordelia gasped when she noticed Angel was missing from her 'dead-guy-against-couch' scene. Panicking, she scanned the room, to find that she had walked right past him at the other end of the room. He was facing the wall about 12 feet away, his back to her.
"Angel...?" Cordelia ventured. He didn't answer.
Doyle walked slowly towards him, in spite of Cordelia's frantic whispering, "Doyle, no! Don't be stupid!"
Doyle ignored her and kept walking. He stopped abruptly when he was shoulder to shoulder with Angel.
Cordelia, whose curiosity was killing her, walked briskly behind Doyle to see what they were looking at.
In front of them, hanging on the wall, was a large square mirror. Obviously an antique, Cordelia wondered why she hadn't noticed it before.
And in this mirror was Doyle's reflection. Behind Doyle, just at his left shoulder was Cordelia.
Cordelia scoffed. She wasn't surprised that Angel's own reflection seemed to have been stolen, but it was funny, how even though she was behind the two of them, with her head peaking up between their shoulders, the mirror showed the entire half of her body that Doyle wasn't blocking. As though Angel weren't even there at all...
Angel turned away, as if seeing his friends' reflections somehow proved to him that the mirror wasn't malfunctioning, he just simply wasn't worth being shown in it's glass.
He seemed to have frozen again, and Doyle was fidgeting on his feet, wanting to prod Angel with something to make sure he was awake, but Angel moved on his own. Without looking back at them, he walked solemnly out the front door, leaving the apartment and turning down the hall. Cordelia and Doyle exchanged glances before following closely behind him.
Angel lead them to Cordelia's car, and got into the back silently.
It was a quiet drive back to the office. Doyle would look back to check on Angel every once in a while, each time seeing Angel looking attentively out the window, oblivious to anything else.
When they arrived, Angel walked immediatly onto his lift and began lowering into the basement. Doyle and Cordelia took the stairs. They wanted to watch him, they did NOT want to get onto an elevator with him.
They made it down about the same time Angel was stepping out of the lift. He didn't seem surprised they had followed him. He didn't even seem to have noticed. He walked into the bedroom, stepping on the crumpled drawings that littered the floor. He picked one up and opened it, examining it for several minutes before getting on his knees and pushing them all into a large pile, and then shoving them into a trash bag, which he set down by the fireplace apparently deciding to wait until later to deal with them.
Then Angel went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth...several times.
Doyle figured he knew why. Cordelia looked puzzled, but turned to Doyle. "Are my teeth okay?"
She asked him, flashing a huge fake smile. Doyle grinned. "Dazzling, Princess."
Angel came out of the bathroom, taking his shirt off, and shrugging a robe on over his pants, before turning and facing them for the first time, giving them a look that said 'You can go now.'
Cordelia nodded and started towards the elevator. But Doyle didn't move.
"Hey man, you okay?" He asked. Angel didn't reply, but turned and walked into his bedroom, closing the double doors behind him.