[author note: I re-read the reviews and I get what she was saying about the
15 year old thing. I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. Ignore me.]
After I slammed the door I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Why did I always have to ruin everything? I opened my eyes when my parents came in all lovey dovey from the kitchen.
"Oh, please, just stop," I begged them. I think I was just bitter and jealous because I know that will never ever be me.
"Sorry. Is something wrong? How was band practice?" asked Graham.
"Fine," I turned away from them and walked upstairs. I could tell they were just staring at me all the way up the stairs. They don't understand at all what I'm going through. It's pathetic that they even try still. I was walking down the hall and Danielle popped out of her room.
"What's Brian Krakow's favorite color?" She asked me.
"As if I would know and ever want to know," I told her. I pushed her out of the way. She blocked me.
"Aren't you friends? Come on, what's his favorite color?" she asked again.
"How should I know? And why do you care?" I wondered. "Do you have a crush on Brian Krakow?" She just stood there in silence. "Oh my god. You have a crush on Brian Krakow." I was laughing like mad.
"Shut up, Angela, he is really sweet," she persuaded.
"Oh, Danielle, that is so juevenile. Ew, Brian Krakow and my little sister," I shuddered at the thought.
"Please, he won't even look at me when your around. He is so in love with you," she accused.
"Brian Krakow is not in love with me. Don't be disgusting, Danielle," I told her. Then I really did push her out of the way and lock myself in my room. I kicked off my shoes and jumped in bed without even changing. I can't let Jordan do this to me, I thought to myself. Maybe I should just quit. But that just didn't seem right for some reason. He was making so upset with these stupid mind games. One day he likes me and talks to me and the next he doesn't even look at me. It made me even madder when I realized how much I was stressing out over it. I finally fell asleep with a grudge look on my face. My face was all tense.
The next morning I woke up feeling like my eyes were glued shut. As if I had been crying all night. Which is ridiculous because I was more mad than sad. I decided when I was half asleep last night that I would just cool it with Catalano. Not that anything had been hot. I just wasn't going to talk to him unless he talked to me first. I walked down stairs after I showered. I didn't feel like drying my hair so I just left it wet. I walked down stairs and grabbed an orange in the kitchen.
"Hey, honey. Are you sure you don't want something else to eat besides just an orange? And a sad looking one at that," Patti added.
"No thanks. I'm going early so Ricky and I can go over some math problems," I told her. This wasn't true. Ricky was having problems at home lately so he had been coming to school everyday really early and staying as late as possible. I figured I might as well keep him company. Plus, anyone who would rather stay at school then go home must have serious issues.
"Oh, good for you. I'll see you this evening," she kissed my cheek on my way out.
I got to school and Ricky was already sitting on the front steps outside school.
"Whatcha got?" he asked me. I tossed him the orange and he immediately started peeling eat. I sat down next to him. "What's on your mind?" he asked me while he was digging into his orange.
"Jordan gave me a ride home last night," I told him rather monotone.
"Well, what happened?" he seemed kind of awkward about it, like he was embaressed or something.
"Nothing like that," I told him assuming he looked like that because he thought Jordan and I had done something. "Actually it was kind of the exact opposite."
"That bad, huh?" he seemed to have been not embaressed now. "Well, tell me everything." I told him the story.
"What do you think I should do?" I asked him unknowingly.
"I guess you could just like not talk to him unless he talks to you first, like you said. But what if he was just pushing you because he wants you to push him back? So, I guess I really don't know." He concluded. He shrugged his shoulders and continued to eat the orange. I could smell the citrus from where I was sitting.
In English class we were reading The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. We covered last year but we had a sub that had no clue what she was doing. We were supposed to be reading silently to ourselves but most kids were talking. The sub was just reading her little romance novel. I was trying to read it because I remember really liking it. The mood of the poem was depressing and it was exactly how I felt. I felt that I had lost a loved one just as Poe lost Lenore. Except Jordan wasn't a "rare and radiant maiden".
"I'm glad to see somebody has some work ethic," Brian turned around and told me. I glared at him. "Sorry." He turned back around. Why was he so weird? And why did my poor little sister like him?
A person came and sat in the desk in front of me and faced me. I knew exactly who it was. I refused to look up at him. I could feel him staring at me. Then finally he looked out the window. I looked up at him then he caught me and looked back with a kind of smirk. These were the games I was sick of and I just kept falling for them.
"Is it good?" Jordan asked me referring to the poem, I assumed.
"Yes, it is," I told him shortly but not rudely.
"What's it about?"
"Why don't you read it and find out?" this line came out a little more mean then the last one. He looked down immediately and it made me feel bad. "I didn't mean it mean. It's just...you really should read it."
"Yeah I guess," he said looking around or looking for an excuse to stop talking to me.
"I could read it with you later, if you want," I offered. He shook his head.
"Okay, when?" he asked. I couldn't believe he was saying to help especially from me.
"Tonight. We could meet someplace," I told him this but it was really kind of a question.
"How about Pizza Pie at nine tonight?" He offered.
"Sure, I'll bring my book," I said really looking forward to this. He nodded then the bell rang.
After I slammed the door I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Why did I always have to ruin everything? I opened my eyes when my parents came in all lovey dovey from the kitchen.
"Oh, please, just stop," I begged them. I think I was just bitter and jealous because I know that will never ever be me.
"Sorry. Is something wrong? How was band practice?" asked Graham.
"Fine," I turned away from them and walked upstairs. I could tell they were just staring at me all the way up the stairs. They don't understand at all what I'm going through. It's pathetic that they even try still. I was walking down the hall and Danielle popped out of her room.
"What's Brian Krakow's favorite color?" She asked me.
"As if I would know and ever want to know," I told her. I pushed her out of the way. She blocked me.
"Aren't you friends? Come on, what's his favorite color?" she asked again.
"How should I know? And why do you care?" I wondered. "Do you have a crush on Brian Krakow?" She just stood there in silence. "Oh my god. You have a crush on Brian Krakow." I was laughing like mad.
"Shut up, Angela, he is really sweet," she persuaded.
"Oh, Danielle, that is so juevenile. Ew, Brian Krakow and my little sister," I shuddered at the thought.
"Please, he won't even look at me when your around. He is so in love with you," she accused.
"Brian Krakow is not in love with me. Don't be disgusting, Danielle," I told her. Then I really did push her out of the way and lock myself in my room. I kicked off my shoes and jumped in bed without even changing. I can't let Jordan do this to me, I thought to myself. Maybe I should just quit. But that just didn't seem right for some reason. He was making so upset with these stupid mind games. One day he likes me and talks to me and the next he doesn't even look at me. It made me even madder when I realized how much I was stressing out over it. I finally fell asleep with a grudge look on my face. My face was all tense.
The next morning I woke up feeling like my eyes were glued shut. As if I had been crying all night. Which is ridiculous because I was more mad than sad. I decided when I was half asleep last night that I would just cool it with Catalano. Not that anything had been hot. I just wasn't going to talk to him unless he talked to me first. I walked down stairs after I showered. I didn't feel like drying my hair so I just left it wet. I walked down stairs and grabbed an orange in the kitchen.
"Hey, honey. Are you sure you don't want something else to eat besides just an orange? And a sad looking one at that," Patti added.
"No thanks. I'm going early so Ricky and I can go over some math problems," I told her. This wasn't true. Ricky was having problems at home lately so he had been coming to school everyday really early and staying as late as possible. I figured I might as well keep him company. Plus, anyone who would rather stay at school then go home must have serious issues.
"Oh, good for you. I'll see you this evening," she kissed my cheek on my way out.
I got to school and Ricky was already sitting on the front steps outside school.
"Whatcha got?" he asked me. I tossed him the orange and he immediately started peeling eat. I sat down next to him. "What's on your mind?" he asked me while he was digging into his orange.
"Jordan gave me a ride home last night," I told him rather monotone.
"Well, what happened?" he seemed kind of awkward about it, like he was embaressed or something.
"Nothing like that," I told him assuming he looked like that because he thought Jordan and I had done something. "Actually it was kind of the exact opposite."
"That bad, huh?" he seemed to have been not embaressed now. "Well, tell me everything." I told him the story.
"What do you think I should do?" I asked him unknowingly.
"I guess you could just like not talk to him unless he talks to you first, like you said. But what if he was just pushing you because he wants you to push him back? So, I guess I really don't know." He concluded. He shrugged his shoulders and continued to eat the orange. I could smell the citrus from where I was sitting.
In English class we were reading The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. We covered last year but we had a sub that had no clue what she was doing. We were supposed to be reading silently to ourselves but most kids were talking. The sub was just reading her little romance novel. I was trying to read it because I remember really liking it. The mood of the poem was depressing and it was exactly how I felt. I felt that I had lost a loved one just as Poe lost Lenore. Except Jordan wasn't a "rare and radiant maiden".
"I'm glad to see somebody has some work ethic," Brian turned around and told me. I glared at him. "Sorry." He turned back around. Why was he so weird? And why did my poor little sister like him?
A person came and sat in the desk in front of me and faced me. I knew exactly who it was. I refused to look up at him. I could feel him staring at me. Then finally he looked out the window. I looked up at him then he caught me and looked back with a kind of smirk. These were the games I was sick of and I just kept falling for them.
"Is it good?" Jordan asked me referring to the poem, I assumed.
"Yes, it is," I told him shortly but not rudely.
"What's it about?"
"Why don't you read it and find out?" this line came out a little more mean then the last one. He looked down immediately and it made me feel bad. "I didn't mean it mean. It's just...you really should read it."
"Yeah I guess," he said looking around or looking for an excuse to stop talking to me.
"I could read it with you later, if you want," I offered. He shook his head.
"Okay, when?" he asked. I couldn't believe he was saying to help especially from me.
"Tonight. We could meet someplace," I told him this but it was really kind of a question.
"How about Pizza Pie at nine tonight?" He offered.
"Sure, I'll bring my book," I said really looking forward to this. He nodded then the bell rang.