As was her usual habit, Yvonne stole a sideways glance at Karen's trim, green MG sports car, which was parked outside the prison gates in its usual place before passing through into the courtyard. On a hot sunny day, the sun beat down into the confined space of the courtyard reflecting off all the stonework and cobblestones. Yvonne looked high up into the blue sky overhead, noticing the way the top of the mottled grey high prison cell block cut a serrated line that separated it from the sky. The hot sun overhead almost blinded her with its light and made her feel hotter than she was. It was funny that all the time she was here, she never went in for any bleeding poetics like this. When you were inside, you didn't want to look higher than the walls that crowded you in even on association or else it would have reminded you how much you were missing on the outside. Now that she was very securely on the outside, it came easier to notice things like this without thinking. It was strange, Yvonne reflected, that every time she came here, it didn't open up old wounds but gave her more of a feeling of invulnerability. She was living on the straight and narrow and had been for months now that Charlie's old so called friends had pissed off to find some other Mr Big to lick his arse. Perhaps it was all those creeps around him who helped him become a bigger bastard than nature made him.
"Hi Yvonne," Gina grinned, her loud voice breaking in on her thoughts. "Nice to see you again, these days. You've come to see Lauren and Denny, I suppose."
"Hope they're up bright and early as I am."
"Yeah, well, I've not gone round that part of the wing today," Gina said more quietly.
Yvonne gave Gina the quick once over. Either she'd got other fish to fry or else she was being deliberately tactful, something which was unusual for this woman's blunt manner.
"How are they both keeping, these days?" Yvonne asked more abruptly than she intended. It was a sudden attack of nerves which pitched her voice in this way. She nearly asked Gina about Karen but she had managed to shut her mouth just in time. She'd let her tongue run away with her once and had said things in the heat of the moment in that row over Shell that was unusual for her. It was the case of let her gob open and everything had poured out. This time, she stopped herself in time.
"Lauren's fine these days but I don't know about Denny. She's not been her usual self."
"What's wrong?"
Gina thought at length as they walked towards the entrance for visitors before she answered.
"Can't reckon it out for sure. She's down in the dumps and won't talk. She's edgier than she used to be, you can tell it in her. She and your Lauren used to be inseparable and now she's a loner, like she doesn't need anyone else. Perhaps Lauren will tell you more when you see her if you get a chance to see her on your own."
"Thanks, Gina." Behind Gina's apparently casual manner, Yvonne sensed a depth of meaning and that she was worried about Denny. The two women had always had an affinity based on their similar personalities, both blunt and tough on the surface. It was down to not wanting to come out with polite insincerities or any false sentimentality.
Yvonne was a mother and was older than Gina and over the years she found it less possible to keep up any sort of act. Gina was all right, Yvonne thought affectionately. She always had been.
"Tell you what," Gina said over her shoulder, turning on her heel. "I've got this feeling in my bones that Denny won't show up. If you're only seeing Lauren, I'll fix you up with a private room so that you can talk better."
Yvonne smiled warmly. That would help immensely. She wouldn't ever waltz in demanding special privileges over all the other woman. She liked money and the comforts, which it bought but her friends were always invited to the party. Nikki had reminisced bitterly to her once about the way Dockley had loved flaunting it over all the other women ,to get one up on the others and show that she had friends in high places. Hearing this from Nikki who she had always liked and respected and what she had seen with her own eyes meant that she never had any time for Dockley. She had heard the reasons why Karen had acted the way that she had over Dockley. For all the apparent good reasons, she still thought that Karen was skating on thin ice and risking her neck for someone who didn't deserve it.
"You won't have Bodybag outside with her ear trumpet against the keyhole, will you Gina?"
Gina grinned broadly. That had been one of her most priceless memories of when she was on G Wing. Sylvia had always had that dog in the manger attitude that, as she wasn't getting any sex from her Bobby, everyone was expected to act as if they lived in a bloody nunnery.
"I'll be in the visitor's room and Selena's there as well. I'll put her on door duty. She's professional and straight up that way. I know Sylvia and that will put Sylvia off hanging around and trying to earwig on the conversation."
Both of them laughed heartily at the idea and it loosened Yvonne up a bit.
"Have you heard how Karen is getting on these days?" she asked at last, not being able to stop the words coming out of her mouth.
Gina looked curiously at her. Yvonne wasn't asking how well she was doing at her job. It was about something personal , about something that had come between them. She didn't want to ask any questions as it wasn't her business.
"She's fine. I don't mind admitting she's been a great boss to work for. She's a good friend in need to go to when I get worried about what to do."
"That's Karen for you," Yvonne murmured affectionately.
Lauren looked hopelessly at Denny, who was sprawled out on her side, totally conked out. Even her normal determination shrank back from trying to wake her. She was bound to be dead to the world and even if she did rouse her, she'd be twice as nasty first thing than she normally was these days. She was more than ever certain that Denny was using speed. There were occasions when they did talk and Lauren was sure that she spoke louder and quicker than she normally did and she was a worse listener than she used to be. There were times when Denny would babble on about something that was nothing to do about anything. It worried her that Denny talked at her rather than to her and that they weren't so close anymore. Denny would suddenly slip off and the next thing she knew when she looked around G wing, Denny was coming out of Al's cell. There had been the occasional 'one off' visit but this was becoming more frequent. It was no skin off her nose as far as it went. Al McKenzie was all right but no great shakes as good company. The one thing Al had which Lauren didn't have was ready access to drugs and it was this that worried her about the situation.
While she was touching up her makeup, she realised that it was almost that the more Denny saw of her, the more Denny felt guilty and ashamed of herself It was logical in a cracked kind of a way to avoid seeing her so that she felt better about herself. Denny had forgotten in her plunge in self-esteem that Lauren wasn't going to get on her high horse about this. Wasn't it true that she had been the one whose mind misfunctioned so spectacularly to land her in Larkhall in the first place ? She had only got real hope for the future because of all the help from so many people. Denny was one of them but in a mad way, she had forgotten all about it.
Selena appeared at her cell door which was slightly open and smiled kindly at her.
"You're ready to meet your mum? Is Denny ready?"
"She's not well, miss. I've done my best to rouse her but it's no good. She's had a really bad night and she's best off resting. It's a shame but there you are."
Lauren smiled too quickly, too nervously for Selena's liking. She suspected that Lauren was gently covering up for Denny. She made a mental note to pass this on to Gina. Of course Sylvia, with her right wing bollocks approach would have ignored Lauren, roughly shaken Denny by the shoulder and received a mouthful which would have helped nothing except in her perpetual petty game of 'putting one over a con.'
"I'm on visiting duty today, Lauren. I'll come with you."
Lauren smiled more gently and easily this time. It was remarkable how Lauren had turned around since she had been laid out psychologically naked for all to see in court. On top of what she had seen of the trial, Gina had briefed her as Lauren's and Denny's personal officer about that particular day.
"You've settled down here fine, Lauren."
"The girls are great around here, Miss Geeson, apart from a few of them. I keep out of Natalie Buxton's way, as she's trouble. There's something about her that sets me on edge. Anyway, you're all right and so are most of the other prison officers and so are Miss Rossi and Miss Betts."
"Have you thought how you'll get on when you get out?"
"I'll wait till I'm out before I'll believe it," Lauren said shortly. It was a female Atkins trait to never count your chickens till they've hatched. The outside world seemed unreal after the time she had been inside.
It struck Selena that Lauren's position in such an enclosed institution gave her less of the negatives and more of the positives than most prisoners who she knew . Being smarter, brighter and dominant put her in a commanding position on G Wing and steadied her nicely.It was as well that she would come under a psychiatrist when she got out rather than being left to flounder. Even with Yvonne to hand, the world could be remote, impersonal place and had no more time to deal with human frailties than the hordes of commuters who passed the street beggars by with barely a backward glance.
Yvonne walked to where she hoped to see both her daughters but only Lauren smiled at her. Her face dropped a little but not enough to let Lauren think that the good old dependable Lauren could do without the emotional stroking that everyone needs and that only Denny was there to be fussed over. Gina came into the visitor's room and glanced at Yvonne. She walked over to Selena ,whispered into her ear and nipped out to get Dominic to cover for Selena. Bodybag was there as well but Gina did not feel that she exactly deserved to be taken into her confidence.
"It's great to see you Lauren and you look so well."
"No problems with me , mum but the pie and chips get boring and you put on weight if you don't watch it."
"Don't I know it…..What's happened to Denny?"
Lauren looked awkward and constrained with Bodybag walking over in far too a casual manner.
"Morning, Sylvia," Yvonne grinned at her to receive a glare in return. That trick never failed to needle her.
"Mrs. Atkins," Selena pronounced in her crisp formal manner. "You've been allocated a private room to talk. Governor's orders. I'm coming to ensure security."
Gina had to suppress a grin when she saw Sylvia's mouth to open in protest about how short staffed they were and the immaculate timing with which Dominic appeared. He's a good bloke, she thought fondly.
"How in hell did you get this fixed up. You must have friends in high places." Lauren smiled with wholehearted appreciation of how immaculately timed it was and sensing her mother's hand in the proceedings.
"Not that high, Lauren. Gina did that for us, not Karen. I've had a bit of an argument with her. Nothing personal, not that sort of personal like it used to be."
A trace of regret flashed across Yvonne's face like a passing sunbeam till she returned to the here and now.
"What's up with Denny? I know from talking to Karen that her visit to Dockley has screwed her up bigtime. I don't like the sound of what I hear and what I feel."
"I've been talking to the Julies," Lauren answered rapidly as her ideas had finally come together." She sounds more and more like the way she used to be, since before you were here…."
"…….and she was with Dockley," Finished Yvonne.
Lauren smiled. It helped enormously to have her sharp brain to help to fit the jigsaw together. She had that knack of pressing the pieces with that delicacy of touch and all the pieces fitted together.
"Why hasn't she come. She sent me the VO?"
"That was just a stall. She's been getting worse and she pulled a stunt so that she wouldn't see you. It was hard enough to get her to come last time. I'm sure she's been using speed. She probably got it last night when she slipped out just before lock up. She was probably awake all right so that she'd be conked out come visiting time.
"Why's she using the stuff?" Yvonne asked incredulously. She could understand how the girls got depressed, all the sort of troubles that could happen to you as she'd heard it all and given all the sympathy that there was in her.
"Probably to give her some of the confidence in herself that she's always lacked. You know that, mum. I went through the trial and I saw myself on the wide screen clearer than I ever wanted to hear or see. She needs real help, mum, probably worse than I will when I get out."
Lauren's last few words crystallized everything in her mind while both of them fell silent for a while in contemplation. Yvonne was the first to try and break them out of that line of conversation. With a limited amount of time, Denny really had been present with them even if she didn't know it. It was now Lauren's turn for attention and they talked of more lighthearted matters. They laughed at all the old jokes, that banter that had always come easy to both of them.
Suddenly, they heard a polite knock on the door and Selena entered.
"I'm sorry but visiting time has finished. You must both come back to the room."
"Sure, Miss Geeson," Lauren responded respectfully. They both couldn't repress a grin as Bodybag's stern censorious glare greeted them. In the good old days, cons would have been locked up twenty-four seven with no namby pamby talk of visitors. If they hadn't committed the crime, they wouldn't be there, Bodybag thought vengefully. Both Lauren and Yvonne knew that life wasn't that straight forward.
"Give my love to Denny. Promise," Yvonne urged Lauren unnecessarily. Lauren nodded and made her way to the exit. Yvonne knew that the job as good as done, smirked irritatingly at Bodybag while passing the time of day with Dominic and shuffling her way through the security system.
As Yvonne emerged out of the cool air of the prison, the heat in the prison yard hit her with real force. It was summer now and a time for a feeling of renewal. That made her thoughts so easy to drift along to what she wanted to do with her time.Suddenly, the vision of summer clothes and London shops came into her mind. A spot of retail therapy would do her some good.