A.N. Okay here is the 2nd part thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter replies at the end. I'm so uncertain about this so please review, writing romance doesn't come easy for me.
Anything inside / is mental conversation
There's a lot you don't know
There's a lot I can't tell
Would you think that I'm crazy if you knew me that well?
But you say you won't go and I'd like to believe you.
But I know there's no on here to save me
-Save me, The pierces
"But Commander it's the perfect solution!" Feeling uncomfortable Z crossed her arms defensively. Glad only in pyjamas while the big blue dog loomed over her hospital bed were not the most professional circumstances.
"Cadet Delgado you're injured and Dr Manx informs me you have furthered those injuries by taking casual strolls around the base." Inwardly wincing at his mention of last night Z raised her chin willing Cruger to follow her plan.
"And I'm learning my lesson no more pain killers for me."
"Disregard for your doctor's instruction aside, you need time to heal not stressing yourself with constant use of your powers."
"You're thinking about this the wrong way!" Cruger tilted his head a dangerous look crossing his face. Too late Z's brain caught up with her tongue. "What I mean Sir," stressing the 'sir' Z chose her words carefully. "I find it hard to remember I only have one body if I have a lot to do my instinct is to make more of me. No stress involved."
"I will consider it Cadet." Sensing he was gently refusing Z's eyes flashed.
"But you'll never know the difference." Another Z dressed in uniform stood at the foot of the bed blocking Cruger's escape route. "I'm Z and you can't afford to be a ranger down. Sir." She added quickly.
"If need be someone else can fill in." Frustrated Z looked away until the urge to scream receded a little.
"So you'll replace me just like that?" Her double asked in disbelief.
"Only temporarily until you are fit for duty." Cruger insisted looking from one unhappy female to the other.
"But why!" Z burst out. "She," waving a hand at her other self, "is me! Everything I am she is." It was sicken to think that while she was caged here not even one of her clones would be out there protecting what was hers.
"Elizabeth!" Cruger said sharply before softening his tone. "I hate hospital too I know how you feel." Z snorted med bay was not the problem. Sitting around with nothing to do but think while letting someone poach her life was unacceptable. "But you have muscle damage to your leg that needs physical therapy and Kat might have reduced the swelling for now but in a few hours you'll wont be able to see out of that eye."
"Couldn't we try? Have Kat monitor me if it doesn't work then replace me." Both Z's begged in stereo hating it but determined to have her way.
Cruger's eyes bounced between them once again.
"Two days then I'll review the matter but my decision is final Miss Delgado no back chat."
Poker-faced the other Z saluted, stepping out of Cruger's way. As soon as he was out of view the two Z's high-fived each other grinning madly.
/What ever you do don't look in a mirror./
Quirking a brow at her double's shared thought Z ignored her grateful for the reassurance emanating from her copy if not the review of her battered body. Tension seeped out of her muscles as her double scurried after Cruger.
Without distraction the pain she had been ignoring had her full attention. Trying the breathing exercises Bridge had taught her about only aggravated her bruised ribs.
Hissing through clenched teeth Z closed her eyes tightly.
"I know I'm going to regret this." A cool cultured voice muttered at her elbow. "Hold out your arm." Relieved Z gave her arm to Kat.
"I thought I was a irresponsible child with a superhero complex." Z said throwing Kat's words from last night at her.
"You are but you're in pain." Briskly Kat injected the painkiller.
"Not because of the double." Z protested afraid of what Kat was going to report to Cruger.
"I know that," her tone soothing Kat dimmed the lights. "That's not how it works."
Eyes heavy Z fought to keep them open. Sedative, she thought Kat you sly cow.
"Sleep is nature's best healer you never allow yourself enough." Z heard her say from a great distance.
Z was unsure how long she slept it felt like forever. Wrapped up in a soft cocoon she never wanted to leave. Drifting through clouds and golden light Z was certain she heard Sam reading to her something involving quests and dragons.
Her face throbbed increasingly pulling her away from the warmth. Touching her left eye gingerly Cruger's predication proved correct. Z could barely see out of her left eye and trying hurt so much she had to give up.
Grimacing Z sat up ignoring the twinge from her chest. The bedside cabinet was over flowing with flowers, sugary treats, and a stack of coloured envelopes. The fluffy dog Darrell had given her dominated it all.
Picking the dog off the cabinet Z sighed.
"What am I going to do with you? She murmured starring into its big brown eyes, hard and glassy just like Jack's had been last night before he had left her.
"I can't be your brother."
Tightening her grip Z threw the dog against the nearby wall. She was not going to think about it. She couldn't!
Opening get well cards Z lost herself in messages from friends and people she barely knew giggling or rolling her eyes determined not to think about kisses that made her want.
"Three more Delgado, come on count 'em out." Mathew Connors the sadistic physical therapist of SPD said cheerfully. His happiness in the face of his patience pain was legendary. Once Z swore he had hummed 'whistle while you work' during her torture session.
"And one...well done! Okay hop onto the massage table." Hop? You have got to be kidding me.
Unexpectedly strong arms scooped her off the mat depositing her on the table. Pathetically grateful for what she would normally avoid Z collapsed safe in the knowledge whatever happened that for the next twenty minutes she did not have to move.
Limp as a noodle Z slumped in her wheelchair waiting for Boom. Why the senior doctor's assistant was pushing her about was a mystery but she accepted it without arguing too much.
SPD's physical therapy department was very well funded if the waiting room was anything to judge by. Plush chairs, old-fashioned tables, painted in a nondescript gray that was oddly nice.
"Hey happy camper!" Full of false cheer Z's double had Connors voice down perfectly.
"Oh god it's you." Z drawled. Nodding to the receptionist her copy swaggered over pushing her back to med bay.
They stopped to pick up coffee Z waited outside for her clone. Sky and Jack leaving the cafeteria nearly tripped over her.
"I'm sorry are you okay?" Asked Sky worriedly steadying the chair.
"Fine." Z said distractedly looking at Jack who stared at his feet.
"Alright..Good..did you need anything? You the other you I mean," Frowning in confusion Sky gave up trying to understand her power. "Said you were doing most of the assignments and paperwork so I could go to the library get what you need?"
Dragging her attention away from Jack. Z realised if Sky was being this nice she must be a mess. Tightening her ponytail Z cleared her throat.
"Thanks Sky I've got it cover but erm I'm sorry." Bravely Z looked up at his tall frame.
"For what?" Bewildered Sky squatted down so they were roughly on the same level.
"You helped me out but I wasn't that nice about it if you hadn't been there….you know…so thanks, I guess." Sounding as though the words were being extracted forcibly from her lips Z frowned.
Sky laughed surprisingly it looked good on him.
"I called you some nasty things back."
"True." Z agreed matching his smile. Glancing at Jack from the corner of her eye she saw him give them both a black look.
"So…"
"So…we're back to where we were?"
"Not friends." Sky said stubbornly pouting a little.
"God no!" The idea Sky Tate associating with thieves from choice. The horror. "But people who talk when the situation requires it."
"Agreed." Sky offered her his hand to shake. Sneaking another look at Jack Z had a better idea. Looping her arms around Sky's neck she gave him a brief hug nosily kissing his cheek. Sky's red face and Jack finally meeting her eyes was worth her own embarrassment.
"Come on we have to go." His voice quiet Jack's expression hardened. Z bit her lip immediately feeling guilty. He looks so tired she thought with anguish.
Together they left.
/He never looks at me./ accepting a cardboard cup Z shared her double's despair.
/Jack'll come round./
/and if he doesn't/
/He will./ insisted Z passionately.
/I think he's taking the nothing option./
"I can't be your brother."
"Then you can't be anything."
Her own words twisted Z stomach.
/He wouldn't not after everything./ Shaking her head in denial Z felt warmth like wings unfurling spread through her mind shielding her from harm.
/His ego took a hit he'll get over it./
/And if he doesn't/ her other self asked.
/I was fine before Jack Landors and here he doesn't have to be everything./
/Then maybe../
/What./ Z snapped
/Nothing./ Her double said meekly her mental voice edged with resentment.
Reaching med bay her copy helped Z into a chair settling herself crossed legged on the bed. Propped against her water jug was an envelope addressed to her.
"Could you get that?" Z asked pointing to it.
/It's from Darrell./ Her clone said reading the note turning his name into something not to be mentioned in polite conversation. Surprised Z raised a brow. When had her feeling changed that much?
"He's going away to some computer conference wont be back for a week."
/Good it gives you time to plan how to dump his sorry butt./ She added mentally.
/He's a nice guy./ Z objected.
/Yeah he is and he's treated you like your normal./
/I am normal/
Her double smirked.
/No you're not. To you Darrell's normalcy, a nice guy who doesn't know street Z he looks at you and sees Cadet Elizabeth Delgado B squad yellow ranger./
/What's wrong with that? This is a new life I have better choices now./
/Nothing, absolutely nothing but you know Darrell's life has been so sheltered he'll never understand the things that wake you up at night careful not to scream aloud./
/He might not but that doesn't automatically mean Jack or no one./
/Jack's a separate problem. I'll say this though loyalty is never an issue./
/Your point/ Z asked with irritation.
/You'd never have kissed Jack back not even for a second if you thought anything about him./ Her other self shrugged / Darrell doesn't matter./
"Hi I'm not interrupting am I?" Standing near the bed make-up case in one hand shopping bags in the other Syd smiled at them uncertainly. It was so strange to see two Z's sitting there staring intently at each other while saying nothing. Syd was not sure if she should have left them alone.
In synch their heads turned.
"Don't worry about it Syd. I'm meeting Bridge in a bit, he wants to show off his new computer upgrade. I'll see you both later oh and Z the dog wants that report tonight." Gracefully Z unfolded herself from the bed snatching chocolate off the bedside cabinet on her way out.
Putting her bags on the floor Syd dragged over another chair.
"Should I ask?" enquired Z.
"About what?"
"The bags princess, what's in the bags?"
"Clean clothes and some will even look good together." Glaring Z resisted the urge to smack her.
"At least I don't buy the poster outfit."
"They match! That's why the pictures are all over stores and magazines." Relaxing into the familiar argument neither girl took any real offence.
"Hand." Syd demanded retrieving her make-up case. Chuckling too tired to fight two battles Z gave in to the inevitable arguing over a manicure was not worth it.
"Clear polish." She said drawing her line in the sand.
"But I brought yellow especially." Syd whined waving primrose promise at her room-mate.
Sighing Z relented some what. "Fine you can put it on my toes."
Smiling as though she had been given free designer shoes Syd bounced in her chair.
"Great!" Organising bottles and tubs on the floor Syd spotted the stuffed dog facing away from them.
"Have you decided on a name yet?" Syd asked nodding to it.
Z rolled her eyes whenever she visited Syd always asked the same question.
"Still no it's a toy doesn't need a name." Z objected wrinkling her nose.
"But its so cute and a present from your boyfriend he'll think you don't care." I don't apparently. Z thought still not convinced of her double's analysis. "Come on what did you call your favourite toy when you were younger?"
"I don't remember." Z said crossly. "I don't like that dog its eyes follow me." Laughing Syd began to file Z's nails.
"Be serious."
"I am!" Z protested. Its stupid Jack eyes followed her trying make her think about things she did not want to.
The next two weeks passed slowly filled with tortuous therapy sessions, loosing wheelchair wars to a weak looking tech who mercilessly used his arm cast to win and drug happy medical staff who seemed to delight in sedating her whenever possible.
Jack never visited.
According to her double he only ever discussed SPD business avoiding her whenever possible.
He should have calmed down by now. Z thought helplessly. Accepted the limits of their relationship and moved on.
Z sighed anger had stopped working against the growing emptiness. At some point Jack had become her constant, Z had to face her own weakness. She needed him.
Stuffing the last of her get well gifts into Syd's shopping bags Z forced a smile for appearance sake.
"Admit it you're going to miss me around here." She said to Kat who was helping her pack up her belongings.
"It will be quieter without you and your talent for trouble making." Picking up a potted Athea plant it's blue leaves sparkling her own gift to Z Kat followed the girl out of medical.
Relishing her freedom Z began to feel guilty for all the games she had played to stave off boredom.
"I'm sorry for being such a pain." She said softly.
Kat laughed. "Oh I'm sure they viewed it as a training excise keeping the uncontrollable contained." Flushing Z appreciated Kat's uncharacteristic light heartiness returning to the squad even though technically she never left had butterflies fluttering in her stomach.
A soft buzzing interrupted Kat's laughter taking the plant Z tried to balance everything as best she could. Kat flipped open her communicator shrugging apologetically.
By the time Z reached her own room the bags handles were cutting into her and the plant had fallen more than once. Struggling to open the door Z wished her double was not in the middle of an assignment reducing her by making another copy unfortunately was not an option.
Stupid power.
Finally the door slid into the wall letting her enter. Dropping everything on the bed catching the plant before it toppled over Z looked around the room.
Clothes were everywhere, shoes kicked off tired feet and abandoned, every available surface was littered with make-up, books and trinkets. It was a messy, chaotic colour war.
She was home.
Finding a clear patch of carpet Z lay down with her cd player. Her favourite song playing at full volume. Relieved to finally be alone without nosy medical staff tracking her down.
Someone clearing his or her throat invaded her peace. Eyes snapping open Z scrambled to stand up.
Darrell stood in front of her his arms spread wide grinning ear to ear.
"You're back darling how does it feel?" Snatching her up in his arms he twirled them around the room. Burying her head in the crook of his neck Z sighed.
Unlike her team-mates Darrell could not be convinced to help her escape med bay and having a private conversation in public made her insides knot but Z had to agree with her double she betrayed him because while she liked him he did not matter. But with Jack's abandonment she had leant on Darrell unthinkingly not able to dismiss someone else from her life.
It stops now, Z decided it was unfair and not just on him.
"I got the promotion." He whispered into her hair.
Pulling back Z saw his beaming face and her knew today was out of the question.
"Let's go." Unceremoniously releasing her Darrell grabbed her wrist pulling her out of the room along corridors until they were on outside.
People Z vaguely recognised stood on the steps leading to SPD headquarters. A small blonde woman waved at them enthusiastically. Guiding her over Darrell made introductions.
"These are the guys in my department," 'ex-department' one of the men muttered. "Steve," Darrell said pointing to a thirty-ish small bearded man, "Pearl," The blonde woman who had waved them over shook Z's spare hand, "and Levi," The Asian man did not even spare her a glance his attention fixed on the city skyline.
"Alien attack." He observed as a creature with six arms and scales towered over city buildings.
"His arms keep protecting his power source." All four techs turned to look at her Z cursed herself for thinking aloud. When the alien appeared she had know the argument currently raging as the megazord formed. The alien was being controlled but he was causing so much damage the team had to take him down destroying him in the process.
Darrell coughed uncomfortably.
"Well I'm sure they'll get it." Z raised an eyebrow at his easy dismissal of the danger her friends were facing.
"Pub?" Offered Steve.
"I thought fair" Put in Pearl.
She got out voted 3 to 1 with Z too tuned into the battle abstaining but she followed them blindly to a nearby bar SPD's local.
Weaving along darkened corridors Z hummed happily. It had been a good night Levi had taught her the ancient game of darts laughingly buying her drinks when she thrashed him. The highlight of the evening had been Pearl's drunken congratulation kiss to Darrell from the look on his face any break-up speech on her part was unnecessary.
The dubious pleasure of her first 'Its not you its me' was postponed for another guy who ultimately did not matter. None of them did she was not going to let anyone bring her down, make her weak.
Clumsily covering her mouth to smother a giggle Z shimmied in delight stopping at Jack's door. She had a plan.
Keying his code into the stationed data pad the door slid open.
"Hey Jack its me." Z called happily frowning against the answering silence.
The lump on the bed did not move. Stepping inside the door closed behind her plunging the room into darkness. Banging her shin on the bedstead Z plopped down near his feet after the pain had subsided she stretched out alongside him.
Looking at Jack's sleeping face Z felt her heart's rhythm increase.
He was on his side his face covered in stubble Z had to clenched her fists against the need to touch him. The room spun wildly closing her eyes only made things worse Z quickly reopened her them. Jack was watching her solemnly whispering her name he shifted closer.
Smiling tremulously her eyes suddenly full Z swallowed hard.
"What are you doing here?" He asked sounding more awake.
Refusing to acknowledge doubt Z darted forward covering his lips with hers. She would not lose him.
Jack's arms went around her pulling her even closer turning the kiss from oddly innocent to fiercely hungry.
Panting Z tried to catch her breath as Jack's mouth travelled down her throat. Moaning she pulled him up kissing him harshly her fingertips drifting across his rough cheeks into his hair finding a better angle.
Feeling the buttons of her top being undone Z laughed quietly Jack's mouth curved against her shoulder.
"Tell me this is real." His hopeful eyes broke through Z's stupor in that instant Z knew she was in over her head.
"I…it's me Jack." No! Z thought furiously, she was not going to run.
Tenderly Jack's thumb brushed her cheek.
"Thank you." He murmured resting his forehead against hers.
"I've missed you so much." Z said unaware of matching her breathing to his.
"I hate being without you," Jack gave her half smile. "Especially when you're right there." Yes, this was right she knew it.
Rolling them over Jack's weight settled over her their pace changed losing its frantic edge.
Lost to a world of soft touches and whispered words Z was unprepared for Jack's question.
"Is this what you want?" Blinking Z tried to think was this really a risk she was going to take?
Abruptly Jack got off the bed.
"Get out." He said flatly staring blankly at the wall.
"Wha…Jack?" Confused Z sat up folding her arms.
"I wondered if you'd do this but I told my self I knew you well enough to see the difference." Picking up a T-shirt Jack threw it at her returning his burning eyes to the wall. "God I'm an idiot." He said disgustedly.
Feeling cold and self-conscious Z put on the shirt Jack's sudden change in mood was hard for her to keep up with.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know you Z something was broken and you just had to fix it." Holding her with his eyes Z squirmed on the bed. See what happens when you allow people close? She thought, they can read you like a book.
"Did you think about after? Or how I felt?" Deliberately Z turned the guilt Jack was churning up to anger she got up standing toe to toe against him.
"I was trying to help you." She spat out.
"By what letting me have a taste then ripping it away?" Shouting Jack ran a distracted hand through his hair. "Good plan Z excellent one of your best!" He yelled sarcastically.
"No! By letting you get this stupid thing out of your system so I can have my Jack back!"
"Yeah and I could just tell how much you were hating it." Z blushed and looked away. Fine so it was not the worst experience of her life the problem had never been wanting Jack not to touch her.
" So the world according to Z says my real feelings are platonic and wanting to see you naked and do things outlawed on some planets is just some sort of infection ruining our partnership."
"Yes." She said irritably.
"I see, well thank you Miss Delgado for showing me the true path." Cupping her elbow Jack led her to the door, which opened silently.
"Jack what..?" Z asked in confusion. Jack was giving up without a fight?
Turning her around so they were face to face Jack looked at her strangely before his hand shot out grasping the front of her T-shirt.
"This is not a disease," dragging her tightly against him Jack kissed her furiously. "Or a crush." He added placing stinging kisses on her neck. Holding onto his waist for support Z turned her head needing to return the favour. It was a bucket of cold water when Jack calmly pushed her away releasing his fisted hold on the T-shirt. "I'm in love with you."
Stepping back the door closed silently as it had opened leaving her on the other side.
"Wow." Z breathed her head swimming. "That was…"
"Hot, terrifying, exciting, delicious..." Smirking, eyebrow raised her double leaned against the wall.
"I was thinking unexpected."
"Liar."
"Shut up." Z snapped.
For a few minutes they stood in silence. Her stomach rolling from alcohol Z wished she could blame her racing heart and harsh breathing on anything other than Jack.
A comforting arm wrapped around her shoulder resting a weary head against her clone's Z sighed heavily.
/Come on trust in your best friend. You can't stand here all night unless.../
/don't say it./ Z cautioned warningly. If her double honestly thought she was waiting to see if Jack would come after her.
She would be right but there was no need rub her face in it.
Together they went to the common room.
Leaving her to suffer on the sofa one foot firmly on the floor her double disappeared returning a while later with two mugs.
"Up." She ordered.
Groaning Z took the offered mug sipping the hot milk laced with aspirin. Taking huge gulps Z put the empty cup on the floor.
"I hate this part you know the fun is over and it's all down hill from here on out."
/It was a stupid plan./
"Out loud I'm begging you I can't think right now." Closing her eyes Z's head flopped to the back of the sofa.
"Let him get it out of his system? My god girl why don't you ever listen to me?"
"I know..I know the situation has blown up in my face just like you said it would and did I dance on the pool table?" Z asked as a drunken memory surfaced.
"Yes." She replied smugly.
"How can he love me?" Z whispered.
"I don't know." Her double whispered back clasping their hands together.
A.N. I hope Z and her double weren't too confusing it was a take on the voice inside your head thing with a powers twist not facing her past or emotions is how my Z survives so she needed something outside herself to face herself.
Brandon B and the sadness continues but it can't go on forever right?
Tori Bradley I hope I am keeping them in character its not easy Jack/Z aren't my OTP but I'm having fun with this.
sye04 Z's stubborn but she may come around.
Garnetred lol agreed but will they learn it in time?
M14Mouse your wish is my command
Dawn-of-Destiny-87 I like begging I hope your still enjoying the fic.
BloomingViolets sorry hun Jack and Z are so emotionally demanding I can't fit Syd/Sky in though I think my Z/Skyness is showing a little
Slshadowfox thanks