Chapter Six: Freedom to Feel?
Replies
RavenluvsBB: Oh, but I LIVE for suspense! Hahaha, I think I'm almost done with it…almost. Maybe another chapter after this…or two…kinda need some more action in here…LIGHTBULB!
dragoon-bane: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MONTY PYTHON! You have to! It's one of the most hilarious movies ever!
given-inside: thanks! I like that verse as well.
quite-a-shame: yeah, now things are going to get pretty interesting. AND NOW I CAN USE THE SONG THAT REMINDS ME OF BB AND RAVEN!
taijiyathelostone: thanks! yeah..."maybe"...
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans…and I don't own "Freedom to Feel" by John Reuben…he does. But I didn't put the whole song, cuz I can't think of that much to write.
LET THE CHAPTER BEGIN!
Step away
Keep your distance
I can't be what you want me to be
But right now there are things inside I don't want you to see
So take your personal spotlight
Shine it on someone else for a while
I can't force a happy face or makeshift you a smile
"Well…I suppose now would be a bad time to start up the movie again, wouldn't it?" said Cyborg awkwardly.
Beast Boy stood silently, staring at where Raven had been before she ran off. A good deal of things had exploded around him, but he didn't even flinch.
"Or maybe it would. Come on, Beast Boy, start up the movie. It'll help take your mind off things," said Robin.
Beast Boy finally snapped out of his trance. "What- you expect my mood to change automatically back to happy again? Well guess what, it just doesn't work that way!" snapped Beast Boy.
"Friend, maybe you need to be alone to think," said Starfire.
"Yeah…maybe…" said Beast Boy. "I'll be in my room." Beast Boy walked away.
The others sat there for a moment.
"Great- TWO Ravens," commented Cyborg, trying to lighten the mood.
Another pause.
Robin broke it. "Hey Star, since when are you so smart for these things?"
I can't deny what I see, what I feel or what's in front of me
So take your world of precious moments of make-believe
They never made me believe in anything
But left me with nothing to hold on to
Your quick fix and magic tricks can only disguise what I was going through
Raven cried in her room, breaking a good majority of it. "He…it's like Malchior all over again…I loved him…but he didn't love me…" A book exploded. She remembered Malchior. He made me feel…like I was loved. Well, I guess I'll never be…I'm too…
"Creepy…" she whispered.
And now I'm thinkin' it was when it wasn't
And now I'm tryin' to rationalize what just doesn't
Come together and somehow doesn't make sense
But God, how can I convince them when I'm not even convinced?
"Beast Boy, open up and talk to me!" came Cyborg's voice from the other side of the door.
"Leave me alone! I need to think!" shouted Beast Boy.
"BB, come on! We all know you have issues thinking!"
Beast Boy let out a low growl. "Now is NOT the time to be making fun of me!"
"I'm sorry, it just slipped! Now come on and let me in!"
Beast Boy sighed. Maybe it would be better to hear a voice of reason. "Fine."
The door opened, and Cyborg stepped inside. "So she loves you."
"Yeah."
"I guess opposites do attract."
"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"
"Well, you do like her."
"DO NOT!" Not true not true not true not true…? (Haha…the computer wanted to change it to "true true true…" Even THAT'S a BBRae 'shipper!)
"Man, if you can't be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself."
Everybody's thinking it
But nobody's saying it
Everybody's saying it
But nobody's feeling it
Everybody's feeling it
But nobody's seeing it
So how am I supposed to know what's real?
"He didn't say anything…he doesn't love me…Malchior didn't, and I guess Beast Boy doesn't either…why do I feel like this?" thought Raven, while in her mind.
"Because you love him."
Raven looked up to an emotion she had not seen before. "Who're you?"
A Raven with a light pink and white cape smiled. "I'm Love."
Raven gasped. "You're not serious, are you?"
"No, she's Love!" quipped Funny Raven as she walked up. "THAT'S Serious!" Funny Raven pointed to a Raven with a sapphire-color cape.
Raven rolled her eyes. "So I HAVE snapped."
"No, guys, let me talk with Raven!" said Love. The other Ravens walked off, leaving only Love and Raven.
"So I'm in love with Beast Boy, huh?"
"Yeah."
"But he doesn't love me…"
"Yes, he does!"
"You don't know that!"
"And you don't know that he doesn't!"
"Oh nice, I'm FIGHTING with myself! And losing!" thought Raven bitterly.
False sense of happiness
My security wrapped up in this
These control freaks seek out who they can brainwash and make activists
They'd rather have me lie than bring my failure to the light
Keep your secrets to yourself
It's not about you but them lookin' right
Beast Boy had calmed down. "…I'm not entirely her opposite."
"What do you mean?"
"You think I'm ALWAYS that happy? Well, I'm not," said Beast Boy bitterly.
Cyborg looked alarmed. "Beast Boy, I want you to know that we all care about you, and if-"
"DUDE, I'm not suicidal! Just…" Beast Boy sighed. "I just know what she feels like sometimes."
"Like…the whole Malchior thing?"
"Yeah…" Beast Boy sighed. "But at least Terra repented before…" (A/N: Sorry Terra-haters…but I think that she was truly forgiven…)
Cyborg stayed silent.
"I'm sorry, she's gone through a lot more than I have…She's the once I'm concerned about."
No time to be ugly
Don't trouble them with your doubt and fears
Shout for joy little boys and girls
You brokenness ain't welcome here
Well excuse me while I bleed through and my life becomes see-through
Don't ask for transparency but reject what you see into
Love and Raven were still fighting.
"I CAN'T LOVE HIM! YOU KNOW THAT!"
"NO I DON'T, AND YOU DON'T KNOW THAT, EITHER!"
"HELLO, IF I LOVE HIM, I'LL PROBABLY BLOW HIM UP!"
"YOU ONLY NEED A 2 PERCENT CHANCE TO LIVE!"
"THOSE AREN'T VERY GOOD ODDS!"
"BUT THERE'S STILL A CHANCE!"
"DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I SAID THAT TO HIM!"
"DUH, YEAH! BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE FRUSTRATED, NOT LOVING!"
Raven groaned loudly. "WHY ARE YOU SO INSISTENT ON THIS!"
"MAYBE BECAUSE LOVING IS GOOD FOR YOU!"
Everyone is thinking it
But nobody's saying it
Everyone is saying it
But nobody's feeling it
Everyone is feeling it
So how am I supposed to know what's real?
"You…care about her."
Beast Boy frowned. "Not like that!"
"Man, give me a break! You know you love her!"
"Oh yeah, what makes you think that?"
"You're always trying to make her smile, do something with her, talk with her- how much more evidence do you need?"
"But…I…she…"
"Man, you were right. You need to figure this out yourself. Talk to us when you're ready to admit it. Or, preferably, to her." With that, Cyborg walked out.
Beast Boy sighed, and sat on his bed. "Is he right? Do I love her?"
Everyone is thinking it
Everyone is feeling it
But nobody is seeing it
And how
How am I supposed to feel?
How am I supposed to know what's real?
Raven stood stunned at what Love had said. "What?"
"You heard me. Loving is good for you. Especially in this case."
"…but…but…but…"
"Here's where I take my leave. You stand at a crossroads- you can either admit it for real, or try to deny it. Your choice." Love walked away, and Raven collapsed on the ground.
"Is she right? Maybe I should just come to terms with it…"
And here's where I leave you for now!
Next chapter: Fighting!