3
She approached the large door and pushed it open. Peering into the darkness she could see a large stairway and at the top she could see some of the roof missing and the evening stars beginning to show through. She entered quietly, feeling a rush of excitement as she was swallowed by the dark interior. She closed the door behind her. Darkness was falling fast outside now so she was drawn upstairs where she knew she could look out at the lights of the town and yet not be in total darkness. With the moonlight becoming apparent she knew it would be lighter outside the house once night had fallen completely than it would be inside and that with the moonlight shining through the open roof she would be able to see where she was going a bit better up there.
Her footsteps echoed in the silence as she walked across the floor and began to climb the stairs. She climbed slowly, relishing the sound of her footsteps in the empty house. The dark silence enveloped her. Here she was alone and apart from the outside world. All alone in the dark empty house where Edward had lived. Her thoughts turned to him.
Nora had always felt that Edward seemed close to her age, 22, and that he had looked out of place, age wise, with the high school kids. But she supposed the Bogg's didn't know what else to do with him during the day and apparently he needed some education so they had sent him to school with Kim.
"What a strange place for him to come from," she thought as she peered into the deepening darkness. "It couldn't have been like this when he lived here. It must have been taken care of then and much nicer."
In her mind she saw him again as a misty memory - his wild black hair and the innocence and intelligence in his eyes.
Their eyes had met more than once when the Bogg's had brought him to the library in town where she worked. She had checked out his books and tried to be very kind about his awkwardness with his scissor hands. She had put his books in a canvas bag to make it easier for him and smiled as she handed it to him. He had smiled back. That was before the town had turned against him and he seemed rather happy. He had been a popular oddity and the center of attention - something she liked to avoid being - so she had simply watched him curiously from afar. And she had noted how he looked at Kim - he was completely devoted to her.
Nora had been in love too at the time, for the first time in her life, really in love, so she hadn't given that much thought to Edward. The truth was she couldn't give much thought to anything because her life had become a roller coaster of emotion. She had never been in love like this before and she was nearly consumed by the intensity of it.
The man she was in love with had been a regular patron at the library. His dark good looks had caught her eye and she had fallen hopelessly in love with him before they even exchanged words. The attraction she felt for him had overcome her shyness and eventually she had gotten up the nerve to make conversation with him. She thought he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. There was no reason for her to believe that he was anything other than beautiful on the inside as well.
They began to see each other. She was essentially a shy, extremely private person but she gave herself completely to him, baring the secret parts of herself that she had kept carefully hidden deep inside for so long. She had never been willing to put everything on the line for someone before, but this time she did.
Eventually it became apparent that not only did he not care for her the same way, but he enjoyed finding little ways to torment her using her intense feelings for him as leverage. More and more he found ways to make her feel small and push her away. He was ten years older than her and he often joked about her naivety. It was true, she had never been serious with anyone until him and he was treating her frivolously, playing with her emotions for his own amusement.
It became clear to her that she was nothing more than part of a game he liked to play. Although she loved him she wasn't a fool so when he suggested they not see each other for a while she knew it was just another part of that game and she silently made the decision that they would never see each other again. Something inside her would not allow him to continue to treat her that way no matter how much she loved him.
Yet because she had truly loved him she had been able to look past his behavior and see the man he might have been, not just the man he was. She knew that inside him there was a man who could have loved her back but that for some reason he was incapable of loving her or anyone and she sensed that deep inside he felt more tormented than she ever had. So she still loved him, even in spite of it all, but she knew full well he would never love her.
Now it was over and she was left with a broken heart of her own. It had been difficult for her, her self esteem was all but destroyed and her heart was in pieces. She managed to forgive him and release him but she grieved deeply for the loss of the love she had hoped for.
When she was alone tears came easily, often in an onslaught, and she made no effort to stem them. They flowed out of her uninhibited as grief overcame her. She never tried to stop them, somehow they were like a balm to her pain. They were like friends that shared her pain for a time and then evaporated like raindrops that when returned to the sky, produce another rain out of which new beauty springs forth. And so her heart had begun to heal after many showers of tears had fallen.
It was during this time that memories of Edward had surfaced in her mind, drawing her to the mansion with the thought that she might find solace there.
Now as she climbed the stairs thinking of Edward's deep dark eyes a sadness washed over her. Thoughts of Edward mixed with the grief that still lingered from her tortured love affair and she stopped for a moment holding onto the banister as her eyes filled with tears. It was always so much easier to cry in the dark, she thought, with the darkness to hide the unpleasant contortions of your face as the tears flowed.. Her eyes blurred from the tears but the night breeze flowing from the hole in the roof dried them enough so that none overflowed to her face.
She took a deep breath and continued climbing slowly. She wanted very much to look out from the broken window and see the lights of town in the distance. And to be alone in the dark. She could think about Edward there. Maybe she could remember him better in the dark, in the house he had lived and died in.
She reached the top of the stairs and turned to look toward the shattered window. She started and instinctively crouched against the banister as she saw a figure seated in a chair near the window. Fear surged through her and blood pumped loudly through her head, clouding her vision, as she froze in fear.
She approached the large door and pushed it open. Peering into the darkness she could see a large stairway and at the top she could see some of the roof missing and the evening stars beginning to show through. She entered quietly, feeling a rush of excitement as she was swallowed by the dark interior. She closed the door behind her. Darkness was falling fast outside now so she was drawn upstairs where she knew she could look out at the lights of the town and yet not be in total darkness. With the moonlight becoming apparent she knew it would be lighter outside the house once night had fallen completely than it would be inside and that with the moonlight shining through the open roof she would be able to see where she was going a bit better up there.
Her footsteps echoed in the silence as she walked across the floor and began to climb the stairs. She climbed slowly, relishing the sound of her footsteps in the empty house. The dark silence enveloped her. Here she was alone and apart from the outside world. All alone in the dark empty house where Edward had lived. Her thoughts turned to him.
Nora had always felt that Edward seemed close to her age, 22, and that he had looked out of place, age wise, with the high school kids. But she supposed the Bogg's didn't know what else to do with him during the day and apparently he needed some education so they had sent him to school with Kim.
"What a strange place for him to come from," she thought as she peered into the deepening darkness. "It couldn't have been like this when he lived here. It must have been taken care of then and much nicer."
In her mind she saw him again as a misty memory - his wild black hair and the innocence and intelligence in his eyes.
Their eyes had met more than once when the Bogg's had brought him to the library in town where she worked. She had checked out his books and tried to be very kind about his awkwardness with his scissor hands. She had put his books in a canvas bag to make it easier for him and smiled as she handed it to him. He had smiled back. That was before the town had turned against him and he seemed rather happy. He had been a popular oddity and the center of attention - something she liked to avoid being - so she had simply watched him curiously from afar. And she had noted how he looked at Kim - he was completely devoted to her.
Nora had been in love too at the time, for the first time in her life, really in love, so she hadn't given that much thought to Edward. The truth was she couldn't give much thought to anything because her life had become a roller coaster of emotion. She had never been in love like this before and she was nearly consumed by the intensity of it.
The man she was in love with had been a regular patron at the library. His dark good looks had caught her eye and she had fallen hopelessly in love with him before they even exchanged words. The attraction she felt for him had overcome her shyness and eventually she had gotten up the nerve to make conversation with him. She thought he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. There was no reason for her to believe that he was anything other than beautiful on the inside as well.
They began to see each other. She was essentially a shy, extremely private person but she gave herself completely to him, baring the secret parts of herself that she had kept carefully hidden deep inside for so long. She had never been willing to put everything on the line for someone before, but this time she did.
Eventually it became apparent that not only did he not care for her the same way, but he enjoyed finding little ways to torment her using her intense feelings for him as leverage. More and more he found ways to make her feel small and push her away. He was ten years older than her and he often joked about her naivety. It was true, she had never been serious with anyone until him and he was treating her frivolously, playing with her emotions for his own amusement.
It became clear to her that she was nothing more than part of a game he liked to play. Although she loved him she wasn't a fool so when he suggested they not see each other for a while she knew it was just another part of that game and she silently made the decision that they would never see each other again. Something inside her would not allow him to continue to treat her that way no matter how much she loved him.
Yet because she had truly loved him she had been able to look past his behavior and see the man he might have been, not just the man he was. She knew that inside him there was a man who could have loved her back but that for some reason he was incapable of loving her or anyone and she sensed that deep inside he felt more tormented than she ever had. So she still loved him, even in spite of it all, but she knew full well he would never love her.
Now it was over and she was left with a broken heart of her own. It had been difficult for her, her self esteem was all but destroyed and her heart was in pieces. She managed to forgive him and release him but she grieved deeply for the loss of the love she had hoped for.
When she was alone tears came easily, often in an onslaught, and she made no effort to stem them. They flowed out of her uninhibited as grief overcame her. She never tried to stop them, somehow they were like a balm to her pain. They were like friends that shared her pain for a time and then evaporated like raindrops that when returned to the sky, produce another rain out of which new beauty springs forth. And so her heart had begun to heal after many showers of tears had fallen.
It was during this time that memories of Edward had surfaced in her mind, drawing her to the mansion with the thought that she might find solace there.
Now as she climbed the stairs thinking of Edward's deep dark eyes a sadness washed over her. Thoughts of Edward mixed with the grief that still lingered from her tortured love affair and she stopped for a moment holding onto the banister as her eyes filled with tears. It was always so much easier to cry in the dark, she thought, with the darkness to hide the unpleasant contortions of your face as the tears flowed.. Her eyes blurred from the tears but the night breeze flowing from the hole in the roof dried them enough so that none overflowed to her face.
She took a deep breath and continued climbing slowly. She wanted very much to look out from the broken window and see the lights of town in the distance. And to be alone in the dark. She could think about Edward there. Maybe she could remember him better in the dark, in the house he had lived and died in.
She reached the top of the stairs and turned to look toward the shattered window. She started and instinctively crouched against the banister as she saw a figure seated in a chair near the window. Fear surged through her and blood pumped loudly through her head, clouding her vision, as she froze in fear.