Part One Hundred And Seventy Two
On the Thursday afternoon after finishing in court, George thought that it was about time she took matters into her own hands. Karen had gone back to work on Monday, and it had clearly been too soon. George had tried to offer her support, but apart from wanting the occasional cuddle, which she seemed to feel guilty for needing, Karen was making every attempt to keep her and everyone else at a distance. George had stayed with her on Tuesday night, but after spending most of the dormant hours tossing and turning, and quite obviously keeping George from her own sleep, Karen had said that it would probably be better for her to be alone for the time being. George knew that Karen didn't really want to push her away, but that it appeared to be the only way she could keep on going. George had tentatively tried to persuade Karen that perhaps it might be too early for her to go back to work, but Karen had flatly disagreed with her. So, alternative measures were now called for.
As she drew her car to a stop outside Cleland House, the headquarters of the prison service, an evil grin of malevolence crossed her face. What if she should run into Alison Warner? Oh, dear, now that would give her something to worry about. Locking her car and walking in through the automatic doors, George noted with satisfaction that there didn't appear to be anyone behind the reception desk, which as far as she was concerned, was all to the good. She didn't especially want to have to go through the fuss of someone contacting Neil Grayling in advance, because she didn't want to give him any excuse to refuse to see her, not that she really thought he would. Following a sign for the area management for women's prisons, George walked up the carpeted stairs, and along the elegantly decorated corridor, the richly coloured carpet dulling the sound of her shoes. All the polished oak doors very helpfully bore brass nameplates, making it child's play to find Neil's office.
When Neil heard the polite yet authoritative knock on his office door, he bade the person to enter with a certain level of curiosity. He wasn't expecting anyone, and he didn't recognise the knock. "Hello," He said, when George pushed the door open and moved into the room. "This is a nice surprise." "I've just lost an appeal in The Strand, so I thought I'd come and pay you a visit," She said, letting the door close behind her. "I need to ask you a favour," She said, taking a chair opposite his desk. "Ah, well, before you do," He said, rummaging in the top drawer of his desk. "I've got something for you. Did I ever tell you that my partner, Marcus, is a recording engineer?" "No," George replied, hoping against hope that this wasn't going where she thought it was. "I persuaded him to discretely record the performance of 'The Creation', and you remember that group photograph we had taken afterwards, well, we played about with it a bit and created a cover. You look pretty good on the front of a CD case," He added with a broad smile, thoroughly enjoying her discomfort. "I do hope you're joking," She said ominously, though knowing he wasn't. "I'm serious," He told her. "And the sound is wonderful." Retrieving a CD from the drawer, he held it out to her. Wondering just what she was letting herself in for, she took it. On the front of the case, along with a proclamation of what was contained on the CD, there was a photograph of George, standing between Neil and Monty, and with John as leader and Joe as conductor standing on either side of the three soloists. "My god," She said in wonder. "I really do look happy." "Is that such a surprise?" "Like you wouldn't believe," She said dryly. "My father would probably like a copy of this." "It's available for anyone who wants it," Neil said, wondering if she would eventually have the guts to listen to it.
"What I really came here for," George said, after putting the CD in her handbag, and vowing to keep it out of anyone's reach. "Is to ask you, if there is any way you can force Karen to take some time off." "That's not something I would want to do, unless absolutely necessary," Neil said seriously. "She's exhausted," George said worriedly. "Is spending every possible minute at work, and using every excuse in the book not to talk to anyone. I know it's perfectly natural, after everything that's happened, but I'm worried about her. I think she's going to work herself into the ground, as a way of hiding from everything." It touched Neil to see such sincere concern in George's eyes, and he got up from his chair and began pacing in front of the window, wondering what would be his best course of action. "I wonder what Fenner would have thought of all this," He astonished George by saying. "Precisely what, has Fenner got to do with any of this?" "He was a father, George, and if there was one, sincere feeling Fenner had, it was his love for his children. That was the only time I ever saw the really human side to Jim Fenner. I remember one time, I offered to cook him dinner, and he said no, because he refused to break a promise he'd made to watch the football with his son." "What was it about Fenner, that managed to thoroughly ensnare so many people?" George asked into the ensuing silence. "I've got absolutely no idea," Neil said ruefully. "There's no doubt whatsoever that he was an abuser of vulnerable women, but he was a father, and when he thought like a father, he was briefly human." The quiet hung between them, both of them wondering in their different ways how they could possibly help Karen through this. "I will talk to her," Neil said eventually, bringing them both back onto safer ground. "But it took a long time for Karen to trust me, and I'm not about to ruin that by suspending her, if I don't have to." "Thank you," George said sincerely. "Because listening to anything I have to say on the subject, appears to be the last thing she wants to do. But then, I do have to wonder if Karen has ever taken any real notice of anything a lover might be urging her to do, especially when she doesn't agree with it." Then, clapping a hand to her mouth in disgust, she added, "No, don't answer that," Clearly thinking of the man they'd just been discussing. "I think that's probably always been Karen's response to a crisis, to push people away," Neil said gently. "You should have seen the way she dealt with Mark." "I feel as though I've forgotten how to get through to her," George said despondently, amazed that she was saying all this to him. "She'll sort herself out eventually," Neil said with far more certainty than he actually felt. "And if she doesn't, I will consider putting her on gardening leave." Before George could respond, there came a perfunctory tap on Neil's door, followed by the entrance of Alison Warner, who stared at George in gob smacked astonishment. "I didn't realise that we required your presence or assistance, Ms Channing," She said rather coolly. "You don't, as far as I'm aware," George said coldly, though with a glint of wicked amusement that forced Neil to hide a smile. Slightly floundering, Alison handed Neil a bundle of forms that were at least two inches thick. "These need filling in by next week," She said curtly, dropping the stack unceremoniously on his desk. "Oh, joy," Neil said sardonically, once his boss had left. "If she ever gives you any trouble," George told him conspiratorially as she rose to her feet. "Feel free to remind her of the little bombshell I still have at the bottom of one of my filing cabinets, after which I'm sure she will leave you alone. Mrs. Warner would do anything, to ensure the co-operation of an enemy within her closely guarded camp."
When he left the office at around six that evening, Neil took another copy of the CD with him, using it as an excuse to drop in on Karen. He thought she would still be at work, and sure enough, her car was still there when he arrived. As he walked towards the gate lodge, he saw that Nikki was on the point of leaving for the day. "How's G wing these days?" He said as he approached her. "Ticking over quite nicely, thank you," She said with a smile. "Good," He said stopping in front of her. "And how's Karen getting on, in your professional opinion?" "I'm not sure I've been in the job long enough to have one," Nikki said guardedly. "She's working like there's no tomorrow, but what's new." "Can I borrow your keys?" Neil asked, eyeing the jangling bunch she was about to hand over to Ken. "Karen would sack me on the spot if I did that," Nikki said seriously. "Even if you did used to be governor here." "In that case," Neil said with an approving smile. "Would you mind escorting me up to her office?" "So that she can't say no to seeing you, without a very good excuse," Nikki deduced. "Sure." When they arrived at the last gate before Karen's office, Nikki turned on her heel and gave him a wave.
When bidden to enter, Neil pushed the door open, it always seeming odd to him that here was someone else, existing in his old workspace. "Neil," Karen said, looking up in surprise. "How did you get in?" Nice to see you too, Neil thought wryly. "Don't worry," He told her. "Nikki escorted me up here. How are you?" "Why is it," Karen said disgustedly. "That being away for only one week, makes one's desk look like Mount Everest? I'm only just beginning to see the top of it again." "Paperwork, wasn't what I came to talk about," Neil said quietly, taking a chair across from her, trying to ignore the fairly full ashtray in his previously smoke free office. "I'm okay," Karen said unconvincingly. "At least I will be, if I keep on working. I've never previously thought of budgets and home office statistics as being even vaguely therapeutic, but I'm beginning to change my mind." "And just how healthy do you suppose that is?" "Oh, not in the slightest," Karen said airily. "But it's working for me." "Are you sure about that?" Neil asked gently, seeing that she was clutching at straws. "Neil, why are you here?" Karen asked, avoiding answering his question. "Because I'm not all that convinced, that being at work, is really the best thing for you right now," He said slowly, anticipating the barrage of justifications that was to come. "I don't agree," She said simply. "Neil, if I wasn't here, doing the one thing I've usually managed to get right, I would go mad, believe me. Yes, I am struggling to keep it together, but being able to work, having some sort of a purpose, is the only thing that's keeping me afloat." "All right," He reluctantly backed down. "But if you should change your mind, and feel that taking some time out would do you good, just say so. On a slightly happier note, I've got something for you," He added, handing over the CD of 'The Creation.' As Karen gazed at George on the cover, and Neil filled her in as to its production, a faint smile just touched the corners of her mouth. "Karen, just promise me one thing," Neil said as he got up to leave. "Don't try too hard to push everyone away." "You sound as though you've been talking to George," Karen said a little cynically. "I just remember how you were with Mark," Neil replied gently, not wanting to reveal the conversation he'd had with George that afternoon. "That was different," Karen said quietly. "Yes, I know it was," Neil agreed with her. "But you're doing exactly the same thing as you did then, you're hiding. But you won't be able to do that for ever."