Please R&R. This is my first ever fanfiction thing so be kind! Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise i.e Any of the Princess Diaries characters. I do own Madison.

13th March 2005

My House, Beverley Hills

Oh My God. Are they kidding me? Seriously. Do they think that spending some time with my freakish cousin is going to make me 'change my ways'?

Apparently people aren't allowed freedom of speech anymore. I was merely pointing out to Gretchen that she needs to learn that green is simply not her color. Trust her to take it too far and go to the principal who had to talk to my parents who told me that I needed to get over myself so to do that they wanted to send me to Mia in New York to live with her and her mom and step-father and brother.

One word: yuck.

I mean New York is cool but are Mia is another story. She is this freak Princess of this stupid county in Europe, Geneva or something and that automatically made her into America's freaking princess. Seriously, my family adore her. She's like a saint or something.

The last time I saw her was like four years ago and I went to New York with my Mom to go shopping for some new shoes (Prada flats, adore!). She completely embarrassed us in the middle of Barney's and dragged us to Bloomingdale's to go see some art thing. Yuck. Anyway, ever since then I've tried to avoid her and the families haven't met up for ages.

For a start, there is a huge difference between me and her. My dad, her mom's brother (they don't talk, at least, until recently) made his billions in the world of food produce and I've always been my family's little princess. I guess I get everything I want, I'm not afraid to admit it. My school all practically worship me and I hold the very prestigious title of Miss Bourke Hill 2005.

Oh God. I've just remembered. Once my Mom and Dad found out that I had been not so nice to some people in my school they told me I couldn't take part in Miss Teenage California! What are they trying to do? It's like their all joined in some sort of conspiracy to like, ruin my life. That's so….yuck.

Now I have to pack all my stuff to go to New York. Great. I mean, New York is completely cool but Mia is so fugly. Seriously, she is like fug queen. I don't care what they say; her makeover sucked. She's never inherited any sort of prettiness but then again, you only have to look at her family to see why. My grandparents are the definition of fug. They live in this yuck town somewhere in the wilds of America, you know, a place no self-respecting person would ever go. I only see them at Christmas when they come to California for like a week before Christmas so they can see us (although I think it's really so Grandma can get a Jacuzzi for free) and they always bring some stupid tree with them for 'Christmas Wishes'. Oh, and they grow it. They're so yuck.

Anyway, they adore Mia and her stupid cat (Fatty?). Anyway, she gets money (like 100 at a time). God, grandparents are so fugly. Mia is such a goody girl. Can she do any wrong? My Mom is so right. She always says 'Honey, she may be princess, but she has no style,' and you know, she is so right. Her Dad is a millionaire (he's so poor). You think she could afford some decent clothes. What is with those overalls, fugly or what? I guess we should figure that, Aunt Helen (her mother) is like a huge crazy art woman. Mom says that's why she married Mia's algebra teacher and then had a baby with him. Rocky is like the cutest thing ever. I saw a picture of him and I so almost melted. I'm almost glad I can go to New York and spoil him with all those adorable baby clothes that I know Barney's has. This is so exciting.

The down side being school of course. Now I have to go and finish my senior year with Mia and her freaky friends (Lilly who I swear to God looks like a pug) and try to climb my way up a new social ladder. It's not like that'll be hard; I know so many girls in New York. I met them all at this North Carolina tennis boot camp I went to last summer. It's only what my reputation will be like when people find out I'm living with Mia.

Yuck.

Dad told me I would get a credit card to take with me (apparently I'm too irresponsible to take my old one with me) so I guess I'm not completely poor. Maybe I should take my pillow with me as well, Aunt Helen is not the type of person I can visualize paying for a maid. God, I'm so going to miss Anna. She is like a saint. She cooks, cleans and is basically the best ever maid, like ever. She's so sweet and has son who lives in Spain (he's got a wife and like, 10 kids).

Yuck. Who'll make my bed? That's so yuck. Nobody in California does that. I live in this huge house in Beverley Hill (Orange County is so overrated). I mean, I have like five maids in my house (Anna is so the sweetest). They do everything for me. Yuck, Helen might make me make my own food. She so won't know what a card-free diet is. Yuck, I'll have to watch that Lifetime Movie's for Women or something like that all the time. Mia is supposed to love that stupid thing. Has she never heard of MTV? Yuck.

What do people actually wear in New York? In California we can wear skirts all the time AND sunbathe all year; what the hell do people move away for? And we have Rodeo Drive. God, I love Rodeo Drive. Now I have to go East Coast, does that mean I have to go brunette? Brunette is like East Coast color isn't it?

God, I have to call Shelley, she'll know exactly what to do. She's from New York and moved to California like a million years ago. Yuck, yuck, yuck.