Wow! I guess that got some good response, huh? ;) I REALLY appreciate all the reviews...every single one of them. nods
So...I guess we'll continue! This chapter is kind of short, but I think I'm going to do the shorter, more frequent updates now. At least, that's what all the people who reviewed Let Me Let Go said. (Oh, and I DID update that, whoever asked me to update it. ;) I just want to make sure you saw that. I know sometimes you don't see that an update is new, or whatever, but it was updated Saturday.) And I promise, more dialogue coming up. I have to set up the premise here.
Whoever said it would be tough for them to read this, I completely understand. I only hope I can write this tastefully and realistically. SO many people struggle with weight problems and starve themselves, and they need to know that they're not alone. It's terrible, and no one should ever feel the need to hurt their bodies to improve their mindset. In my opinion, at least.
Was anyone else bothered by how quickly Monica seemingly lost ALL of that weight in one year? I mean, it had to be over two-hundred pounds. I always was suspicious of how she "did that". I know, I know, it's only a TV show, but still. I always thought she must have been anorexic or bulimic or something. NO ONE can lose that much weight in so little a time. (Well, except Jared. Y'know, the Subway guy?) Anyways...she's gonna have tougher of a time here.
OMG...all these sophomores! Go us! :)
Onward...
Dear Diary,
I feel fat today.
Not my usual fat, but more than that. Heavier. As if the burden I carry in pounds is as heavy as the burden my heart bears. It almost is.
But not quite.
Do you ever get the feeling that you are just so unwanted? That the only people who love you are your family? And that's only because they have to?
What am I talking about...you're just a book. You wouldn't understand.
It's not like anyone else does.
I know everyone has their problems. After all, they're only human.
I hardly even feel like a human with all this damn blubber hanging off my bones...
My life sucks. Really, it does. I got to school, and people laugh at me. It's like they can't tell that I am a person, too...Some days I feel like screaming. Some days I feel like dying. But I don't let that show...No, people expect me to be the "jolly fat one."
My only real friend at school is Rachel. And sometimes I get the feeling that she's only my friend because I've known her since I was like, six.
I know my parents love me...but I know that they love Ross more. It's so obvious. I mean, who would want an average, fat daughter?
I've never been on a real date. I know, it's pathetic. But I have no one else to tell it to. All of my "sexual experiences" consist of Rachel's stories. Now, she has a life.
The part of these weight issues that makes me angriest is that it's all my fault. It's not like someone shoved food down my throat.
But I did.
Today is Thanksgiving. The day for eating...great. I used to look forward to this day. Finally, a day when everyone's plates were as full as mine, and everyone felt like I did every single day.
Fat.
But today, Ross is bringing his friend, Chandler. I don't know why I'm nervous to meet him...but then again, I get nervous whenever I have to meet someone Ross knows first. They expect me to live up to his standards.
It's such a disappointment to them when I don't.
I have to go now. Rachel's coming over to eat. Even though she doesn't talk to me that much in school, I know she'll always be there for me. This year is my last year in high school, thank God, and she's been there for me this whole time. She better not go anywhere.
She's the only one I have left.
Now, I really have to go. Mom's yelling at me to get myself downstairs. It's nearly time to eat.
Wish me luck tonight...
Monica
Monica eased herself off her bed and looked around her room.
The pink walls screamed out at her as she headed slowly towards the door. She thought her room looked like a young child's room, with its lacy curtains and bunny rabbit stuffed animals.
The only thing more grown-up in her room was the sleek, polished floor-length mirror. It gleamed from being shined everyday. The mirror was perfect.
But Monica wasn't.
She grimaced as she caught an unsatisfying glimpse of herself.
Poofy hair done up in curls, and a face whose natural beauty was hidden by coats of make-up that were applied to hide what lay beneath.
She tried to hide herself.
As Monica bounded down the steps and listened to the creaky stairs heave beneath her weight, she felt disappointment rise inside her chest.
She was hungry.
----
Chandler Bing turned his head towards the sky and snarled at the impending clouds. Any second now, he knew the clouds would give in to the pressure the rain forced upon them.
Tedious at first, and gradually more painful in the pounding, the rain started as a dull roar, and worked its way into becoming a full fledged storm.
Chandler hated the rain. Chandler hated Thanksgiving.
Hell, Chandler hated life itself.
As he stepped out of his college roommate Ross's car, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy pinch his heart.
Ross had it all. A nice family, good grades, an unbroken home...
'And here I am...eating Thanksgiving at some stranger's house.'
He grimly walked towards the door, all the while following Ross. That's what everyone did.
Inside, he could hear voices excitedly chattering. Why were people so happy?
'Thanksgiving's a pointless holiday. Don't we eat enough already? And to think...we actually have to celebrate it!'
Chandler brushed himself off of the rain just as the door swung open.
The rain was pouring now, sloshing along the streets as if it had a place to go.
Even the rain was sure of itself, just like everyone else seems to be. Chandler braced himself, and got ready to turn on the humor, and hide the spirit of the little boy who only wanted to be love...who only wanted a place to call home...who only wanted to be himself again...
After finding himself jailed for all these years, the little boy was becoming afraid.
He was fading fast.
----
No one knows who I am
Inside my so-called heart.
They laugh and stare, sometimes glare
At times, I don't know why I even bother to play the part.
It scares me how little they know
About who they think is me
Someone needs to tell them, please show them how
To see past my insecurity
I laugh, I cry, believe it or not
I have feelings, too.
You make fun of me for being different
And the only one who thinks I'm that different
Is You.
----
Ahhh...so I wrote the poem...the idea's mine, etc. Forgot to put in a disclaimer. :) It's raining SO hard now, so I have to go. Please leave me a review! :) I've had some trouble uploading this...I tried to catch all the mistakes...hope it worked...
Mel
So...I guess we'll continue! This chapter is kind of short, but I think I'm going to do the shorter, more frequent updates now. At least, that's what all the people who reviewed Let Me Let Go said. (Oh, and I DID update that, whoever asked me to update it. ;) I just want to make sure you saw that. I know sometimes you don't see that an update is new, or whatever, but it was updated Saturday.) And I promise, more dialogue coming up. I have to set up the premise here.
Whoever said it would be tough for them to read this, I completely understand. I only hope I can write this tastefully and realistically. SO many people struggle with weight problems and starve themselves, and they need to know that they're not alone. It's terrible, and no one should ever feel the need to hurt their bodies to improve their mindset. In my opinion, at least.
Was anyone else bothered by how quickly Monica seemingly lost ALL of that weight in one year? I mean, it had to be over two-hundred pounds. I always was suspicious of how she "did that". I know, I know, it's only a TV show, but still. I always thought she must have been anorexic or bulimic or something. NO ONE can lose that much weight in so little a time. (Well, except Jared. Y'know, the Subway guy?) Anyways...she's gonna have tougher of a time here.
OMG...all these sophomores! Go us! :)
Onward...
Dear Diary,
I feel fat today.
Not my usual fat, but more than that. Heavier. As if the burden I carry in pounds is as heavy as the burden my heart bears. It almost is.
But not quite.
Do you ever get the feeling that you are just so unwanted? That the only people who love you are your family? And that's only because they have to?
What am I talking about...you're just a book. You wouldn't understand.
It's not like anyone else does.
I know everyone has their problems. After all, they're only human.
I hardly even feel like a human with all this damn blubber hanging off my bones...
My life sucks. Really, it does. I got to school, and people laugh at me. It's like they can't tell that I am a person, too...Some days I feel like screaming. Some days I feel like dying. But I don't let that show...No, people expect me to be the "jolly fat one."
My only real friend at school is Rachel. And sometimes I get the feeling that she's only my friend because I've known her since I was like, six.
I know my parents love me...but I know that they love Ross more. It's so obvious. I mean, who would want an average, fat daughter?
I've never been on a real date. I know, it's pathetic. But I have no one else to tell it to. All of my "sexual experiences" consist of Rachel's stories. Now, she has a life.
The part of these weight issues that makes me angriest is that it's all my fault. It's not like someone shoved food down my throat.
But I did.
Today is Thanksgiving. The day for eating...great. I used to look forward to this day. Finally, a day when everyone's plates were as full as mine, and everyone felt like I did every single day.
Fat.
But today, Ross is bringing his friend, Chandler. I don't know why I'm nervous to meet him...but then again, I get nervous whenever I have to meet someone Ross knows first. They expect me to live up to his standards.
It's such a disappointment to them when I don't.
I have to go now. Rachel's coming over to eat. Even though she doesn't talk to me that much in school, I know she'll always be there for me. This year is my last year in high school, thank God, and she's been there for me this whole time. She better not go anywhere.
She's the only one I have left.
Now, I really have to go. Mom's yelling at me to get myself downstairs. It's nearly time to eat.
Wish me luck tonight...
Monica
Monica eased herself off her bed and looked around her room.
The pink walls screamed out at her as she headed slowly towards the door. She thought her room looked like a young child's room, with its lacy curtains and bunny rabbit stuffed animals.
The only thing more grown-up in her room was the sleek, polished floor-length mirror. It gleamed from being shined everyday. The mirror was perfect.
But Monica wasn't.
She grimaced as she caught an unsatisfying glimpse of herself.
Poofy hair done up in curls, and a face whose natural beauty was hidden by coats of make-up that were applied to hide what lay beneath.
She tried to hide herself.
As Monica bounded down the steps and listened to the creaky stairs heave beneath her weight, she felt disappointment rise inside her chest.
She was hungry.
----
Chandler Bing turned his head towards the sky and snarled at the impending clouds. Any second now, he knew the clouds would give in to the pressure the rain forced upon them.
Tedious at first, and gradually more painful in the pounding, the rain started as a dull roar, and worked its way into becoming a full fledged storm.
Chandler hated the rain. Chandler hated Thanksgiving.
Hell, Chandler hated life itself.
As he stepped out of his college roommate Ross's car, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy pinch his heart.
Ross had it all. A nice family, good grades, an unbroken home...
'And here I am...eating Thanksgiving at some stranger's house.'
He grimly walked towards the door, all the while following Ross. That's what everyone did.
Inside, he could hear voices excitedly chattering. Why were people so happy?
'Thanksgiving's a pointless holiday. Don't we eat enough already? And to think...we actually have to celebrate it!'
Chandler brushed himself off of the rain just as the door swung open.
The rain was pouring now, sloshing along the streets as if it had a place to go.
Even the rain was sure of itself, just like everyone else seems to be. Chandler braced himself, and got ready to turn on the humor, and hide the spirit of the little boy who only wanted to be love...who only wanted a place to call home...who only wanted to be himself again...
After finding himself jailed for all these years, the little boy was becoming afraid.
He was fading fast.
----
No one knows who I am
Inside my so-called heart.
They laugh and stare, sometimes glare
At times, I don't know why I even bother to play the part.
It scares me how little they know
About who they think is me
Someone needs to tell them, please show them how
To see past my insecurity
I laugh, I cry, believe it or not
I have feelings, too.
You make fun of me for being different
And the only one who thinks I'm that different
Is You.
----
Ahhh...so I wrote the poem...the idea's mine, etc. Forgot to put in a disclaimer. :) It's raining SO hard now, so I have to go. Please leave me a review! :) I've had some trouble uploading this...I tried to catch all the mistakes...hope it worked...
Mel