Hello everyone! Thanks for the reviews, and sorry for the delayed update. :) This chapter is quite a bit longer, so hopefully it will be good.
This chapter was by far the hardest for me to write. I borrowed some dialogue from TOW The Worst Thanksgivings, as you will soon see. :) If you haven't done it before, let me tell you that using an actual episode to base a fic off if hard! You just never know how to do it, but I think I did pretty well. Or at least the best I can with it.
Please leave me a review for this chapter! It seems whenever I write a third chapter, it always seems to get the least number of reviews compared to other chapters. I don't know why, maybe they're not as good. Please help me break my third chapter curse! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the idea, lol...
Their house was nice, Chandler mentally noted. Nothing about it screamed money or wealth, yet it was homey and looked as if someone lived there.
Chandler grew up in a house with an abundant amount of money at his fingertips. His parents, Nora and Charles, loved him dearly, but clearly had their priorities.
His childhood bedroom was filled with many toys. In fact, Chandler even had a playhouse, complete with five rooms and electricity! His parents affection for him was genuine, but not as obvious as it could have been.
Because he spent his entire life getting everything he wanted but nothing he needed, Chandler sometimes felt like he had to shield his true emotions with a harsh outer core of sarcasm and bitter humor. He would tell the stinging truth to your face, and then some.
A part of him knew it was wrong, but he let the remarks fly...sometimes he had nothing better to say in uncomfortable situations, and such a case would present itself later that very evening.
In the meantime, he found himself standing on the stoop of Ross's house. While Ross greeted his parents joyfully, Chandler found himself wanting to scream.
'Why did I agree to come here?' he thought. 'Oh right, you idiot. You didn't want to be the only one left in the dorm...Come to think of it, I could have used a little alone time. But, no...You just had to come here. These people will probably hate you, as a matter of fact. Just don't talk to much and maybe they'll forget about you. Maybe if you don't talk to much, you'll forget about yourself...'
Chandler sighed heavily and found himself shaking Judy Geller's hand.
"It's so nice to meet you, Chandler. And I hope you're hungry, we've got plenty of food!" she exclaimed.
Chandler began to feel guilty already. 'This was a bad idea.' "Well actually-"
"Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food, Mom," Ross finished, rather blatantly, for him.
Judy Geller rolled her eyes. "Well, great. I'm so glad you brought him here, then." She turned on her heel, and beckoned to her husband, Jack Geller, to follow. He gave Chandler a small nod, turned, and rolled his eyes at his Flock-of-Seagulls haircut.
'Okay, Ross, when are you going to introduce me? Come on, I'm your sister!' Monica silently tried to send Ross a message with her eyes, but her attempts dismally failed in vain. Rachel nudged her in the side just as Monica cleared her throat.
"Ross!" Monica blushed at how she knew her voice must sound.
Ross wildly looked around, wondering what she wanted.
"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Monica wondered, pointing to herself and Rachel.
"Oh, right. Chandler, this is Monica, my little sister." Chandler felt his eyebrows raise as he noticed how "little" Ross's sister was. "...and this is her best friend, Rachel Green." This time, it was Ross who raised his eyebrows.
For the longest time, Ross had been madly in love with Rachel. Some called it a crush, others knew the depth of it. He was virtually obsessed with her, and there was nothing that she could say or do to defer his opinion.
"Oh, it's nice to meet you," Chandler extended his hand.
'What a gentleman,' Monica thought. 'I've never seen a guy actually want to shake hands with me! Wow...what can I do for him?'
Suddenly, it dawned on her. "Um, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner."
He locked eyes with her for a moment and wondered why she seemed so eager to please him-or anyone for that matter. "Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in."
Bubbles in her stomach rose from the Coke she'd been drinking, and she found herself giggling hysterically. 'Ugh...now is NOT the time to act like a stupid giggly girl!' She felt the stinging liquids burn through her nose, ready to humiliate her and spray the world.
"Damnit!" She ran into the kitchen, face burning red. But now she had a task, a reason to be happier. One of Ross's friends had been polite to her (shook her hand!), and now he wanted her to cook for him.
Sadly, this gave her the strongest feeling of purpose and self-worth that she had achieved in the longest time...
----
'Damn nose. Y'know, this nose makes you look like an elephant. Or worse, a ferret!' Rachel silently criticized her one flawed feature as she examined herself in her compact mirror. When it came to her looks, Rachel was very persnickety.
Through the mirror, Rachel could see Ross staring at her. 'Could he be any more obvious?' she wondered. 'Why doesn't he just come up to me and beg for a date at my feet? Then, I might give him a chance. But if he just keeps staring at me like that, ugh...It's so creepy!'
Suddenly, Rachel felt Ross approach her from behind.
'Just breathe, Ross. You'll be fine.' "So uh, Rach? Does it feel weird around here now? Y'know, since I've been away at college?" There. He had done it. For months, he had wondered how she fared without his looming presence. The question burned a hole in the back of his mind, and her answer left a tarnished scar.
Rachel snapped out of her self loathing stage and turned back into the bright personality everyone loved. "Oh! No, not really."
She turned on her heel and waltzed away, crunching the shattered pieces of Ross's decimated heart as she went.
Chandler slowly whistled through his teeth. "So that's Rachel, huh? The one girl you've been writing all those songs about? You might want to re-think the lyrics of 'She Feels Weird Since I've Been Gone.'"
As the words flew from his down turned lips, he knew it was wrong...yet he couldn't fight the need to be sarcastic. He was Chandler Bing, and he told the bitter truth.
The child fading inside his heart was deprived of a childhood, deprived of love, and forced to be someone that wasn't himself.
Forced to live a life void of emotion.
----
"Come on...I know it's in here somewhere..."
Monica dug furiously through the kitchen cabinets, feeling her eyes sting as the dust flew and bit the tender covering of her eye.
"Aha!" she whispered triumphantly as she yanked a dust powdered package of Kraft macaroni and cheese.
As she boiled water, she realized that maybe this day wasn't going to be as bad as she thought it would be. Sure, Rachel wasn't having a good day, what with her boyfriend dumping her and all, yet Monica herself was doing just fine.
Once she finished her delicious concoction, Monica carried the steaming plate of macaroni to Chandler, who was sitting on the couch.
Smiling broadly, she handed the plate for him and waited for him to take his first bite.
'Oh my God...look how big she's smiling. I asked her to make dinner, that's all. You'd think this was the best day of her life!'
Nonetheless, as he brought the spoon drenched in macaroni to his lips, he found himself smile. It was quite good.
She bounced eagerly on the couch, sending Chandler up into the air slightly. He laughed. She was cute, like a little child, he thought. And for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to think of another remark that wouldn't show his true feelings.
The small boy inside him felt a wind of fresh air awaken him as the cool scent of a morning breeze was brought to his eyes. It was his turn to live.
"So, how do you like it?" Monica asked.
"It was great," Chandler responded. "You should be a chef!"
'Oh my God. He liked it!' Not used to being praised like that, Monica was overwhelmed. 'This means he must like me!' "Okay!"
Chandler raised his eyebrows again at her childishness, and felt the little boy try to rise inside him again. This time, however, the child was banished to darkness as Chandler rose from the couch, leaving Monica in glory.
As Rachel approached, and ranted to her about how Chip was going to be with her that night after all, all Monica could think of was Chandler. She had had crushes before, but none of them had liked her back. None of them had even liked her as a person.
With Chandler, she thought it was different.
Here she had a guy who actually talked to her for a minute, touched her hand, and told her how much he loved her food. Monica was unaware this was just common courtesy, and took it to mean Chandler liked her, too.
Her dreams, once again, were about to be shattered.
----
As Monica traipsed towards the kitchen, she noticed how beautifully the light flooded down upon Chandler's hair. Illuminated by the golden rays, each strand seemed to sparkle. His eyes were blue...so blue, she thought. And the way he smiled made her soul melt and fly as the corners of his mouth crinkled towards his nose.
She sighed as she realized that she was falling fast for him, and something like this had never happened before to her. It had been a long time since a guy talked to her like a normal person...a skinny person.
A feeling of guilt crept upon her as she felt her stomach rumble. She briefly thought of finishing off two pies she had seen on the dining room table, but then thought better of it. She'd get them when Chandler left.
For now, she was ready to talk. Ready to be charming and funny. And, oh God, did she ever think he was funny! She flushed crimson as she recalled his many jokes tonight.
Something about him was sad, she sensed. He was a little harsh sometimes, but that was fine. 'We both have a bit of the same sense of humor. Sometimes, it seems like he hates his life...which is good, cause I can totally relate!'
She stopped in her tracks as she eavesdropped a little, hearing the mention of Rachel's name.
"So I'm thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week," Ross began as he scrubbed the turkey-stained plate clean.
"Emotional Knapsack?" Chandler asked as Monica smiled upon hearing his voice.
"Right on! Oh! Uh, but, don't take to long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Clifford Alverez."
Fake ID's! Monica shook her head. Ross got to have all the fun...
"Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, I'm gonna be out with her all night."
'Poor Ross,' Monica grimaced. She knew for sure that Ross's fantasy would not be played out.
"Dude, don't do that too me!"
Monica could totally understand Chandler's viewpoint. She knew she wouldn't appreciate being left out. 'We are SO much alike!' She thought giddily.
With his next words, Ross made Monica so grateful that she was willing to give up anything in order for it to happen. "All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind."
They would have so much fun together. Even though Ross wouldn't go out with Rachel because Monica knew for sure that Rachel would be completely appalled, the mere anticipatory idea of it excited her.
"No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister."
Monica felt as if she had been punched in the gut.
Fat sister? FAT SISTER? So that's what he thought of her. She wasn't a person, she didn't have feelings. They weren't as alike as she first thought them to be.
Monica bit her lower lip to keep the tears from spilling as she abruptly turned on her heel and fled the room.
Her heart wrenched with guilt as her mother held out two pies for her to take.
"Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge."
And to think that she had plans to eat them later..."No! No thank you!"
Jack Geller was extraordinarily surprised. He loved his daughter dearly, and thought she was adorable. But never before had she turned down a pie. "Well, Judy you did it. She's finally full!"
The words angrily ripped at her heart like a cold winter wind. Snow fell in torrents, coming to their unsettling rest upon her once-warm soul.
She ran as quickly as her body would let her up to her bedroom and grabbed her diary.
Dear Diary,
I think tonight will be the night my life changes. From now on, I will count every piece of food that brushes my lips. If it's too much, I won't eat. I don't care what anyone says or does. I will NOT live my life being known as the "FAT SISTER!"
The words hurt...and I don't think they even are aware of how much they do hurt me. But I'm changing the way I do things, Diary. From now on, I won't be known as "the Fat Sister"...
I'll show them.
Monica
She angrily set the pen down as she flipped off the light switch and prepared for bed.
Only did she let the tears seep freely when the darkness filled the room and the pain filled her soul...
I hope I didn't make Monica too obsessed with Chandler, but I just thought it would work because he was probably the first guy that actually talked to her like a real person. (Well, he is in my fic!)
If it seems like I'm making Monica very vunerable, it's because I am. :) I think that she's at that age where she feels very unwanted and undesirable and so on...A lot of it will come full circle.
If anyone has any questions, don't hesitate. When I write the next chapter, I will post it ASAP.
Please leave me a review...it's been harder for me to write lately because I've been feeling like a bad writer who shouldn't even post fics cause they're "unworthy" or whatever, compared to some other people, and that's quite discouraging.
Okay, before I start sounding all depressed and stuff, I'll go. :) LOL...Okay, thanks!
Mel