To a cat?
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE TEEN TITANS!
DEATH BY CHEESE: If you have not worked it out yet 'this is thinking or telepathy' "And this is talking"
Chapter 2- What's wrong?
In the infirmary they had Beast Boy hooked up to every machine in the tower. This included the most expensive machine in the city and the machine that goes 'BING'. Beast Boy is now conscious but still a cat.
"Meow?" Beast Boy asked.
"What is it BB?" Cyborg answered "Did Timmy fall down the well again?"
The small green cat let out a growl of annoyance, he couldn't do much else as he was that wrapped up in wires.
"I'll see if I can read his thoughts" Raven suggested before using her powers on Beast Boy.
'All I did was ask 'What's wrong?' and Cyborg has to steal my comedy role… I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch, I'm gonna claw out his eyes and bite off his tiny blue testic…'
"Beast Boy asked what was wrong with him" Raven interpreted.
"Oh" Cyborg answered "From what I can tell the device Gizmo used has artificially stabilised BB's DNA. It can be cured but it's going to take a looooooong time but before I even start to do this research" Cyborg then pulls out some planks of wood, hammers and blue prints "I'm off to make the tower cat accessible". He then walks off singing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt'.
Five seconds passed since Cyborg left the room and Starfire pounced on Beast Boy like a nerd on a Star Wars…Barbie…thing…
" Oh friend I am so glad you are unharmed!" Starfire ranted.
Robin and Raven were both now feeling sorry for Beast Boy who was now being suffocated by the alien.
"Uh Starfire? I think I hear Silky calling" Robin interjected
" Don't worry Silky your Kanorfka is coming!"
Raven and Robin both let out a sigh of relief as Beast Boy was left gasping for air.
"So…What's the plan?" Raven asked.
"We're going to have to keep Beast Boy away from Starfire, Cyborg is doing research, I'll be keeping tabs on the city and you are the only person that he can communicate to. I'm afraid you are stuck with him." Robin concluded.
"Great" Raven answered in a monotone as Beast Boy sat down next to Ravens feet and Robin left the room. "So… What do you want to do?"
'What time is it?'
"Five in the afternoon"
'I'm hungry'
They entered the kitchen/operations centre (OMG I'm English not American) to find Starfire squashing Silky with a rolling pin, Robin listening to crappy pop music and Cyborg singing
"I've seen things, I've seen them with my eyes, I've seen things, They're often in disguise like carrots, Hand bags, cheese, etc…"
"Friend Beast Boy!" Starfire shouted, "I have found some food for you to consume." Starfire then got out a bowl and a tin of cat food. Beast Boy watched in disgust as the meat slowly slid out the tin and flop into the bowl.
'What the?…What are you on? Crack? I'm not gonna eat this shit…'"I think Beast Boy would rather have tofu"
Beast Boy then looked up sheepishly at Raven
'Heh, I keep forgetting that you are reading my mind'
'It's OK. We all mentally swear'
Raven then mastered the art of making stuff out of soy milk with out burning it, making it poisonous or make it turn rock solid on contact with anything cold.
Cyborg then walked in singing Gay Bar (I love that song).
"Okaaay, I've made the BB's bathroom cat useable and the light switches…OH YEAH! And the blender"
"Um…why did you make it so he could use the blender?" asked a clearly confused Raven as she set the food down for Beast Boy, who was too busy licking himself to notice. Thankfully no one noticed.
"I DON'T KNOW!" screamed a sarcastic Cyborg "maybe it has something to do with my WAFFLE IRON!" He then ran into the farthest corner and curled into foetal position, Raven and Beast boy could hear him sucking his thumb. They both looked at each other, now completely disturbed for life.
'We didn't see anything…''Uhhh…nope, I didn't just see Cyborg run into the corner and degrade himself…could you do me a favour?'
'Sure…what?'
'Get a camera! This is fan-fucking-tastic blackmail material!'
'You're a cat and all you can think of is making a fool of your team-mate?'
'Yeah…why?'
'You're a louse'
'Raven…no more Big O for you!'
'Fine…I'll stick to Spawn' Raven's eyes then turned a demonic green and she began to cackle an evil laugh just like you see in the movies. Beast boy ran behind Cyborg, who was still sucking his thumb.
Robin entered to be met with Raven's evil witch-like cackling, 'hmm…I can hear an evil cackle…and…that…means…'
"FUCK…SLADE IS HERE." Robin then ran into the other corner and began sucking his thumb just like Cyborg. At that time, Starfire also entered the room with Silkie, who was wearing a Robin costume. She then noticed Robin and Cyborg in the corners, sucking their thumbs, she looked at them both quizzically. She then floated to the corner and also began sucking her thumb, clearly thinking it was some Earth custom. All the while Raven continued to cackle evilly. At least until the alarm went off, then they all gathered around the computer.
"So who is our next victim to brutally beat and kick?" asked Raven
"Don't you mean stop and throw in jail?" said Robin
"…Whatever…"
Cyborg then checked the computer, a large image showed the criminal stealing a mass of wallets and purses, pretty low for…
"SLADE!" yelled Robin, who then pulled out his ass-whooping stick and began beating the computer into small pieces of plastic, "WHY…WON'T…HE…FUCKING…DIIIEEEEEE? GAAAAAAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAA!" Robin stood there gasping for breath.
"Feel better?" asked Starfire.
"Yes…very much…anyway…TITANS! TO THE PIMPMOBILE!"
"Don't you mean the T-Car?"
"………Yes"
DEATH BY CHEESE: The randomness will continue. Sorry it took me a while because I was too busy wearing my underwear on the outside and being a super hero.
Here is a special 'behind the scenes' thing. Where Robin is saying :
'We're going to have to keep Beast Boy away from Starfire, Cyborg is doing research, I'll be keeping tabs on the city and you are the only person that he can communicate to. I'm afraid you are stuck with him'
I was going to have him say 'I'm a complete arsehole' instead of 'I'll be keeping tabs on the city'