To a cat?
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE TEEN TITANS!
Chapter 3- Sladecon 2005
The titans (and cat) caught Slade running out of a plastic cup store (that sold plastic cup and plates and sporks) with a backpack FULL of wallets.
"Stealing wallets, purses, and plastic utensils?" asked Robin "Pretty low don't you think?"
"I HAVE NO CHOICE!" exclaimed Slade "You destroyed two of my bases, destroyed several legions of my robot henchmen, read my mail and didn't get off my lawn!" Slade then broke down crying like a drama queen "I HAVE A FAMILY TO SUPPORT! Mrs. Slade need an operation and my kids need to go to evil college"
"That's the biggest load of titty biscuits I have ever heard" replied Robin "The whole time I was stuck with you, you never left the office. You ate in the office, you slept in the office, you watched porn in the office…I watched porn in your office. So no way in hell do you have a family"
"I have a family! They live in Germany…I am German"
Then Robin's eyes went wide like when Cyborg was going to check him for batteries.
"So THAT'S why you wanted me to taste your wurst!"
The rest of the titans were now trying to cleanse their minds of the horrible images in their brain-meats. All the while Slade skipped away giggling like a schoolgirl into the warehouse district.
"He ran into that abandoned warehouse!" yelled Robin, pointing dramatically at the building.
"Okay Robin, three things; first, we're only a few feet away from you so stop yelling," explained Raven, "second, we can see he is running into that seemingly empty warehouse, and thirdly, WHY DO THEY ALSWAYS RUN INTO ABANDONED WAREHOUSES? HOW DO WE GET ALL THESE EMPTY WAREHOUSES? WHY HAVEN'T THE CITY DEMOLISHED THEM, IT WOULD MAKE OUR LIVES SO MUCH FUCKING SIMPLER!" By this time Ravens eyes were blood red and several boats (with people in them) in the harbour had been flung into empty warehouses.
'Feel better?' asked Beast boy
'Yes…yes I do'
The Titans gave chase following Slade into the warehouse…unfortunately none of them noticed the banner that said in big bold letters 'SLADE-CON 2005'.
All the Titans stopped dead in their tracks at what was in front of them. An army of Slades of various shapes, sizes and genders. While the other Titans were staring at the scene wide-eyed with their mouths hanging open, Robin had run out of the warehouse only to return about five minutes later strapped with more guns than a marine battalion. He then jumped into the middle of the crowd and shot madly into the air, causing the Slades to either, duck and cover, or run around and scream like little girls.
By the time Robin had fired five rounds all the Slade lookalikes were crouched down, but Robin continued to fire another five rounds until Starfire snatched the gun from Robin's hands and threw that and all the other guns into the heart of the sun.
"OKAY ALL OF YOU LISTEN UP!" commanded Robin, "NOW, TELL ME, WHO IS SLADE?"
A large fat geeky sounding guy (complete with nerd ass pubic voice) stood up and declared "I AM SLADE"
Raven narrowed her eyes at the wannabe "No…you're just some fat fuck we don't care about"
Another voice "I'M SLADE"
"No…you're a woman…"
"I'M SLADE!"
"Hello Mammoth…"
"Um…I'm Slade…"
"Why are you here Aqualad?"
"I'M SLADE BEEYOTCH!"
Ravens eyes turned demonic red "CYBORG GET BACK HERE!"
Then, the REAL Slade stood up, he was wearing fake plastic Roman armour and a helmet, and he raised his plastic toy sword into the air and yelled with pride in his voice…
"I'M SPARTICUS!"
The Titans stared at him until Robin finally cracked a smile.
"Finally someone sane!" he said, "Tell us good Sparticus, did you see an evil man by the name of Slade run by?"
Raven looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Um…Robin…"
"Quiet wench Raven, let the mighty warrior Sparticus talk!"
Slade, who could not believe this, was working said, "Oh yeah he went out back…"
"TITANS TO THE BACK!"
Raven tried again, "But Robin…"
"Raven, never say 'butt' again in my presence and stop second guessing my decisions…NOW GO!"
Giving up, Raven followed the other Titans out back. Slade just stood there, not believing it had worked…seriously he thought it had to be some kind of trap. He was torn between running into a potential trap or stay in the building and run the risk of being recognised. Suffering severe paranoia, he ran into the corner, assumed the foetal position and began sucking his thumb. But because he always wore that facemask he banged his thumb against the mask, visitors to SLADE-CON were shock to hear a loud 'FUCK! MY THUMB!' emanate from the corner.
Unable to find Slade, Robin got all pissed with the rest of the team so they threw him into the river a couple of times until he calmed down and then they went home. Slade was arrested for inciting a riot of angry mothers due to the foul language he used at the convention, and all of Slades stolen wallets were taken by Aqualad, who mistook them for baby turtles. Later on they were taken by Speedy, who sold them to the Seafood Tacos restaurant, which was later shut down by the police after a riot by people allergic to leather ate the tacos.
END…for now…maybe…will be more chapters…
DEATH BY CHEESE: TO ALL MY REVIEWERS… I LOVE J00 ALL!111ONE