Part Two Hundred And Two
On the Tuesday afternoon, when she knew that court would have finished for the day, Karen drove over to call on John in chambers. She hadn't been here in far too long, not since before Ross had died. It had always been a comfortable part of hers and John's friendship, ford up leaves scattering the car park of the Old Bailey, the plain trees that surrounded it beginning to shed their load. God, she thought as she got out of the car, was it really autumn already? Had the summer passed her by completely? That was how it felt sometimes, even though she had taken in a good deal of its sun whenever possible. As she walked in through the heavy familiar doors, it struck her that this was where so much of her life had begun. Here was where she'd first met John, here was where she'd first met George, andt out of the car, was it really autumn already? Had the summer passed her by completely? That was how it felt sometimes, even though she had taken in a good deal of its sun whenever possible. As she walked in through the heavy familiar doors, it struck her that this was where so much of her life had begun. Here was where she'd first met John, here was where she'd first met George, and here was where she'd been catapulted so spectacularly into their lives. The cool, slightly austere inner confines of the court building greeted her, smelling faintly of the numerous ancient tomes that inhabited every courtroom, combined with the aroma of the fairly cheap coffee from the court canteen. Her heels sounded almost too loud as she cross the marble tiled floor and began walking up the stairs, and she found herself wondering if the steps of all the resident ghosts made half as much noise.
John was only a little surprised to hear the knock on his door, as he'd thought he could recognise her approaching footsteps. He'd wondered if she might come at the end of the working day, seeking him out in the place where he'd first had actual personal contact with her. It was over two years since that fateful day now, and he couldn't help but marvel at how much he now knew about her. They'd become sincere and firm friends after that one night they'd spent together, never letting that encounter get in the way of their blossoming friendship. They'd talked, laughed, even argued from time to time, but they'd come through it all still friends. He'd hurt her terribly by not letting her know what was happening to her son, he knew that, but he thought that now they might just be able to move on from that. No matter how guilty she might feel about what she'd said whilst under the influence on Friday night, it had needed to be said, not just for Karen, but for him as well. He'd held her until she'd fallen asleep, cradling her beautiful body against him, to try and take away some of the pain that was slowly eating away at her insides. There hadn't been any sexual motive attached to that whatsoever, it was just something he'd done because he knew he could. He was forced to admit that their familiarity with each other perhaps did go a little further than ordinary friends might, because of the one night they'd spent together nearly two years ago, but so what. He also knew that it might have been playing with fire to do that with her on Friday night, especially since that highly sensual kiss he'd shared with her before she'd gone on holiday, but even that hadn't stopped him from comforting her in the only way he knew how.
So, when her knock roused him from his thoughts, he called to her to come in. When she appeared, Mimi leapt out of her basket, and began running in circles round Karen's feet. "I think someone's certainly missed me," She said with a smile, walking towards him, and trying not to trip over the still circling Mimi. "She hasn't seen you for quite a while," He said, putting his arms round her and kissing her cheek. "I haven't been here in far too long, have I," Karen observed, sitting down on the sofa. "The old place doesn't change," He said dryly, thinking that it was certainly very nice to see her back here again, perhaps a sign that their lives were beginning to get back to normal. "Tea, or scotch?" He offered, raising a slightly comical eyebrow at her. "Tea, definitely," She said with a self-deprecating smile. "I'm not touching scotch again for at least a fortnight." "How did you feel, when you eventually woke up on Saturday?" He asked, pouring them both a cup of tea from the pot on the sideboard. "No worse than I deserved," She said, wishing she could light up in here but knowing she couldn't. "John, thank you for being there," She added, taking the cup from him and briefly touching his hand. "Oh, any time," He said, sitting down beside her. "I mean it," Karen continued. "I was a complete wreck on Friday, and it's probably a good job you were there." "Then I'm glad I was," He said, taking a sip from his cup and putting it down on the table. "What I said to you," She continued a little hesitantly. "It was possibly the most unforgivable thing I've ever said to anyone, and I am really, truly sorry for saying it." "I know," He said gently, realising that this was why she'd come to see him. "And as stupid as this may sound, I think it needed to be said." "That doesn't mean it should have been said," Karen replied, not wanting him to try to excuse her action in the slightest. "It's something you've thought, ever since he died," John said matter-of-factly. "Perhaps not constantly, but certainly enough for me to see it, nearly every time I've clapped eyes on you, and if getting it out of your system can allow you to move past it, and to begin putting that need to blame behind you, then that's all that matters." God, he was so good to her, Karen thought to herself. What on earth had she done to deserve a friend such as him?
They sat there talking for a good while longer, John with his arm casually around her shoulders. It was intensely comforting for both of them to return to the way they'd been before Ross had died, the simple pleasure of each other's company providing a sense of normality that neither had experienced in far too long. "I had a visit from Neil yesterday," She told him at one point. "He wants me to speak at the annual conference that the Howard League of Penal Reform are having at the beginning of October. As the most recent female Governing Governor, I think he wants to show off the product of his success. He's asked Nikki to speak too, so the press will probably be there in droves." As she'd been speaking, a delighted smile had begun spreading across John's face. "Ah, well, it seems then that you will have the pleasure of my company," He said with a completely straight face. "They've asked you too?" She asked, thinking that this certainly would be fun if he were going as well. "Yes. That particular charity has a liking for maverick judges who insist on pushing at the boundaries." "I don't know," Karen said in mock concern. "You and me away together for three days in Manchester, that sounds positively sinful." "The thoughts behind it might be," He admitted with a smirk. "But I should imagine we can both behave ourselves." "You might have to," She said, clearly flirting with him. "But I don't." "Oh, well, if you are determined to seduce someone new," He said in resigned acceptance. "At least I'll have someone intelligent to talk to." "Helen will probably be going as well. Her part in starting up the home office project for women lifers, always guarantees her invites to things like this, so no, I don't think you'll get bored somehow." "As long as I can trust to your discretion, if I should choose to avail myself of the numerous attractive women who may be there." "Jesus, how many do you need?" Asked Karen with a laugh. "Hey, I'm getting to like the idea of more than one," He said, clearly playing along with her. "Yeah, well, if you do, I don't want to know about it," She told him firmly. "It might not be my business any more, but it doesn't mean I still don't have divided loyalties. Though what I would say is try and choose your conquest, or conquests, with a little more care this time." "Do you have any idea just how like a fourteen-year-old you made me feel that night?" He asked in remembered humiliation, still unable to forget the lecture she'd given him over the Chlamydia. "It was for your own good," She told him with a smile. "Besides, the blush might help you not to do the same thing again." "I wouldn't bet on it," He replied, thinking that just for once, he didn't really have the urge to play away at this conference, when in the past, it would have provided him with the perfect opportunity. Perfect strangers simply didn't appeal to him at the moment. Were George and Jo beginning to have an effect on him after all?