Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

An angry Voldemort was sitting by the punch bowl staring at anyone who hovered too long. She turned to the 15 foot Giantess next to her. "I can't believe Harry hasn't done anything to us or this situation yet."

The Giantess shook her massive head. "It could be that not doing anything is what we least expect, and he's just going to leave us jumpy all night."

A quiet little puppy said "Hello" and both Voldemort and the Giantess gasped and clutched their hearts.

The Giantess regained control of her fear first. "See what I mean?"

Voldemort nodded. "Yeah. Hey Dewey! Come here."

Melvil Dewey walked over to Voldemort and the Giantess. "No sign of Harry, right?"

Voldemort nodded. "Yeah. And I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even show up. I was talking with Ginny the Giantess here, and thought we really need to completely forget Harry Potter for a night. We have almost the whole Order here watching the children. Let's get toasted and have a good time."

The Giantess nodded. "Yeah, besides, the students all know the Order is here, so if we do manage anything embarrassing, we can just blame it on another member. Let's take advantage of these costumes."

An eagerly agreeing Melvil Dewey nodded too. "Yeah, and as long as the adults keep their costumes on and identities hidden maybe I can finally get laid too."

Voldemort was snickering and smiling at Dewey. A few students dropped their cups in fright at the Dark Lord smiling and laughing. The Giantess waved over Cruella De Vil. "Hey Cruella, we need three bottles of firewhiskey, pronto!"

Cruella just reached into his Dalmatian colored coat, and pulled out three unopened bottles of Ogden's and handed them right over. He saluted the Giantess, Voldemort, and Dewey and said "Good luck ladies."

All three grabbed took their bottles and tipped them back taking a few big gulpfuls to get started. Melvil Dewey showed her appreciation with a loud belch. Voldemort patted her on the back to help her out. In less than half an hour they were all nearing the bottom of their bottles.

"You know, us wasting our time searching for Harry, we're just doing exactly what he wants." A slightly inebriated Dark Lord slurred out.

Melvil Dewey nodded so quickly her head began to hurt. "I know!" She was speaking a bit on the loud side. "He wouldn't be winning at his game, if we weren't falling for his game and playing his game, the way he plays his game like …err his game."

The drunken Giantess yelled out. "Yeah! Forget Harry Potter!"

Dewey replied. "Screw Harry Potter!"

The Giantess and Voldemort replied in unison "Yeah! Screw him!" Some painfully bad attempts at giving each other high-fives involved inappropriate touching.

A song ended, and a new one began. Voldemort jumped to her feet, and particularly liked the sensations her head felt doing that. She then remembered why she jumped and said, "I love this song! Rick James!" Voldemort made her way onto the dance floor and grabbed hold of the first adult along the way. It was a man dressed as a pirate with an eye patch, and a puffy black pirate shirt with lots of ruffles. Voldemort and the pirate were making a bit of a scene grinding on the dance floor.

Melvil Dewey was not about to let the Dark Lord have all the drunken fun, and she too headed out to the dance floor grabbing onto another nearby adult. If she were paying attention, she would have thought it curious that she had also grabbed someone dressed as a pirate, though her man was wearing a puffy, ruffled, and even feathered white pirate shirt.

The Giantess watched her two friends dancing spasmically, and was quickly learning the words to the song Voldemort claimed to love. She was singing to herself, "He's a super cheek. Super cheek. He's super cheeky!" Seeing a beautiful lonely Giantess, a mysterious pirate with an extremely puffy green ruffled shirt could not just stand back and let her spend the evening alone. He began to chat her up and dance with her. Occasionally they would laugh hearing Voldemort and Melvil Dewey exclaim "Screw Harry Potter!"

The next morning, Ginny woke up slowly. She remembered the dreamy pirate guy she had danced and had fun with. As well as a lot of drinking. But she didn't even have a slight hangover. In fact she felt great. She was skipping through the halls back to Hermione's staff quarters to check on her.

She knocked on the door. "Hermione? Can I come in?"

A giggly smiling Hermione answered the door. "Of course, Ginny. It's always delightful to see someone else who can appreciate the morning. I want to apologize if I sort of ditched you and Tonks last night, but I had the most wonderful evening. Do you need a hangover potion?"

Ginny smiled brightly. "No thanks, I feel great actually. And you wouldn't believe my night either. I don't want to sound like a slut or anything, but my god, one night stands can be more cathartic than any potions sometimes."

Hermione blushed and bowed her head. "I know exactly what you mean. Last night was exactly what I needed. I doubt I'll ever see him again, and I almost don't want to know who he was under the eye patch."

Ginny had been smiling until she heard 'eye patch.' "Wait! Was your guy dressed as a pirate and wearing a horrible puffy shirt?"

Hermione looked at Ginny nodding. "White silk shirt, with a ton of ruffles in the front and sleeves that were almost like a drag queen's boa?"

Ginny nodded. "Exactly! Except mine had a green shirt."

Hermione was visibly getting upset. "Let's go find out if Tonks snagged a pirate too."

"What!" The irate caretaker exclaimed. "You mean we all slept with him? Or some merry band of pirates? And why don't I have a hangover?"

Hermione frowned. "We think it's because of our pirates. None of us feel ill or bad. Just used."

Tonks asked, "Used? Umm, I was intending to be the user last night, and if anything he would have been the usee. My pirate said his name was Tom. How bout you?"

Hermione groaned and said "Dick."

Ginny blushed and said "I didn't think to ask his name."

"Tom, Dick, and blank! He can be so bloody insolent." Hermione exclaimed.

Tonks started giggling. "Screw Harry Potter indeed. Good call, Hermy."

Ginny smiled victoriously, "You think it was Harry for all of us last night?"

Tonks and Hermione nodded. "Yes."

"Well that makes me feel better. I should head back home and shower. I think it's going to be a beautiful day." A smug Ginny said and left the castle.

Tonks and Hermione walked to breakfast with mixed feelings on the evenings encounter. They needed some time to not think about Harry, and to relax and forget about him. Of course, then unknowingly sleeping with him does make you feel a bit like the butt of one of his jokes.

Many of their illusions were slightly shattered when they arrived at breakfast and saw the Headmaster wearing a familiar looking puffy white shirt. Seated next to him was Professor Flamel in a familiar black shirt. Tonks and Hermione both paled at the smiles and quiet giggling conversations the two were sharing. They feared the discussions that would be happening at the staff table during breakfast and decided to just go hit the kitchens for this meal.

Upon arriving, the first thing they saw was a giggling and smiling Dobby wearing a puffy green pirate shirt. He nodded at both of the groaning and blushing ladies, and asked what he could do for them.

"We came down here for some breakfast." Tonks replied.

Hermione watched the elf curiously. "That's an interesting shirt, Dobby. Do you mind if I ask where you got it?"

Dobby smiled. "No Ma'am! Dobby don't mind a bit." After giving his permission Dobby was now waiting patiently to see if Professor Granger was going to ask him where he got it.

Tonks and Hermione seemed to be waiting on an answer still.

Hermione couldn't stand the waiting. "Dobby, where did you get your shirt?"

Dobby smiled. "Sorry Miss Hermy, but Dobby don't want to answer your question. But feel free to ask it anytime." He finished with an eager nod.

Hermione snapped her attention towards Tonks. "Does he seem more cheeky than usual to you?"

Both girls noticed the blush and smile Dobby got. Tonks asked, "Dobby, are you taking lessons in being cheekier?"

Dobby looked panicked. He looked left and he looked right. He looked up and he looked down. He bent down and looked between his legs. He refocused his attention on the ladies. He leaned forward and whispered "Maybe."

Hermione admonished the elf. "Dobby! Why would you want to do something like that?"

"Dobby sorry, Miss Hermy! But Dobby couldn't take Master Harry calling Dobby, Master Dobby. It just wasn't right."

Hermione and Tonks were both confused now. "So he stopped calling you Master Dobby?"

Dobby smiled brightly. "Yes Ma'am! Only way to get him to stop was for me to apprentice to him!"

Tonks's brain was being twisted a bit. "What are you apprenticing in Dobby? Can you do wizard magic?"

Dobby admonished the silly caretaker. "No Miss Tonky. Dobby is an elf. Elves can't do wizard magic. Dobby is apprenticing in Cheek, with a minor focus on Impudent Smart-Aleckology."

Tonks and Hermione both looked a little scared. Hermione asked, "And how are your studies coming?"

Dobby smiled. "Very well. Master taught Dobby how to be a cheeky pirate! Dobby's been practicing." Dobby squenched his right eye shut and began shaking his fist at the two staff members. "Avast ye scurvy wenches! Arrrrrrr!"

Hermione looked at Tonks. They shared some silent conversation and both just shook their heads. "We're getting sidetracked here. We came down for some breakfast. Can you help us with that Dobby? Or are there any other elves who would like…" Hermione trailed off and stopped speaking when the table became completely covered with a veritable buffet for approximately 20 people.

Tonks's eyes were wide. "Thanks guys! This looks great." Many elves blushed, bowed, and nodded before going back to work. The two girls seemed to have agreed to not discuss the previous evening or anything relating to Apprentice Dobby.

The next month passed by awfully quietly. Professor Flamel indicated that he suspected Mr. Potter would be making an appearance over the Christmas break. But in the meantime there were very few reports at all attributed to him. Even the Quibbler had stopped its weekly updates. The occasional article linking him to pregnant witches was still frequently mentioned, but none of them ever followed through with any truth.

Apprentice Dobby had a particularly embarrassing episode where he was given a gift he cherished almost as much as a sit'n'spin. He got his very own egg of silly putty. Dobby was seen playing with it quite frequently, most usually stretched across the top of his head like a flesh colored toupee. It all changed one day when Professor Malfoy tricked Dobby. Dobby was heartbroken when the Headmaster explained that if you eat your silly putty, it will not grow in your belly into a silly putty baby. Nor can it be retrieved in any useful form. Professor Malfoy had to serve detention and apologize to Apprentice Dobby.

It was mid December when Severus sent off an owl to Mr. Longbottom informing him he had finished brewing two complete rounds of doses of the Kiss of Ra. Professor Malfoy took over Potions classes for the day. Professor Granger was a little frustrated she couldn't go with them, but she had classes to teach.

So it was just Neville Longbottom and Severus Snape that entered into the long term care ward of the St. Mungo's to try and administer a mental ailments cure-all that hadn't been seen or made in millennia.

Severus asked the nervous young man. "Are you ready for this Mr. Longbottom? You must realize this potion can only be given once every two weeks and should be administered for up to six months."

"Professor Snape, I know better than to get my hopes too high considering the success the healers have had over the last decade and a half working on my parents. But then again, this is the first suggestion we've had from Harry."

Severus curled his lip into a sneer and was fighting the part of him that also found a great deal of hope and expectations from the involvement of the Golden Boy. Before he could begin cursing the Boy in his head for stealing Severus's glory Neville again spoke up.

"And anyways sir, even if this potion doesn't help them, it's bound to be helpful somewhere else, and you're still the only Potions Master capable of it."

Severus tried very hard not to blush and to maintain his sneer.

"Alright, so if it works, what sort of response or results can we expect?"

Severus fought to keep up his evil demeanor. "Did you not read any of the notes Professor Granger provided?"

Neville shook his head. "When Hermione explained it, I was spending more time trying to figure out what her breasts looked like than I was actually listening to her. She can talk for a long time."

Severus snorted a little and composed himself as quickly as possible. "It is highly likely we may see an immediate response. They may become coherent and communicative within a few minutes. But they will slip back and forget simple things shortly thereafter. The amount of time they are coherent will increase as the potion is re-administered every two weeks, until hopefully at some point they remain coherent permanently. Do not administer more before the two weeks is up. An overdose is far worse than no dose at all, and could be fatal, if there's still too much of it in their system."

Neville nodded and was paying closer attention as he had no desire at all to look at Professor Snape's breasts. "Of course. I will always refer to your expertise on your potions, Sir. So does this mean they might recognize me in just a minute or two?"

Severus genuinely smiled and said "Well let's find out."

The two had been cleared with the Healer's and poured a dose of the potion into Frank Longbottom's mouth. Frank swallowed the potion as his natural reflex responded. Neville and Severus were standing off to the side, waiting for a response. After a few minutes without him stirring, Severus went ahead and administered a dose to Alice. While his back was turned, Severus heard a hoarse voice behind him.

"Wh-where am I?" Frank asked. "Wh-who are you?" he said looking at Neville.

"Dad! It's me Neville!" the excited younger Longbottom exclaimed.

"Sorry kid, my son is a bit younger than you are. Now try again, Who are…." Frank's eyes widened at the older man standing behind Neville. "Snivellus!"

Severus's smile quickly went away and he rolled his eyes. "Hi Frank."

"You look like crap!"

Severus scowled viciously at the man and surprisingly held back any biting retorts.

"Why the heck do you look like a hundred years older?"

Neville just started snickering at that and got that scowl directed his way some. "Dad. You've been real sick for about 19 years."

Frank snapped his attention back to Neville. "Neville?"

Neville smiled and nodded. Frank's eyes began to widen and tear up a little. "Oh my son." He said and opened his arms asking for a hug. Neville moved towards him and embraced his father tightly. Severus let out a loud audible sigh.

Frank went back to vigilant. "Wait! The Lestranges! And Crouch! And…and Alice. Oh poor Alice. I'm going to kill them!"

Severus just smirked. "Too late."

And again from behind Severus he hears a different hoarse and scratchy voice. "Snivellus?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake people, I'm trying to be nice here!" the angry Slytherin yelled.

Alice blushed. "Sorry Severus. So umm, why are you here and why do you look like old crap?"

Severus decided it would be best to leave young Mr. Longbottom to his family bonding moment. "Neville please apprise them of the situation, I doubt they will remain coherent for too much longer. I will be waiting for you outside."

Severus tried to calmly march out of the ward, with his trademark cloak billowing behind him, when he was interrupted again by another familiar voice.

"Snivellus, was it? Would you like my autograph?"

Severus just whipped his head towards Gilderoy Lockhart and stared at him harshly.

"I have some lovely head shots. I'd be happy to sign one for you."

Severus thought about it briefly and said. "Actually, let me go get a DNR form, and why don't you autograph that for me instead?"

"I could do that I suppose. But I don't want you selling it. But if you must, I'd say hang on to it for at least a couple years. It'll be worth a lot more by then."

Severus smiled a genuine smile again. "With you, it may not even have to wait that long to appreciate."

Neville just shook his head at his departing former Potions professor. Neville began explaining to his parents what had happened in their attack and what treatment they were getting. He was about to start telling them about the wizarding world since they were attacked, when his father slipped back into a vegetative state. He explained what had happened to his mother just before she did the same. Neville left the ward and caught up with Professor Snape. Before the sneering man could do anything he was being smothered by a hug from a tear-filled young man.

Severus felt absolutely dirty. He just made a pained face, nodded to the smiling and crying Mr. Longbottom, and turned around and ran as fast as he could. For good measure he could be heard cursing Mr. Potter's name quite vividly.

Christmas break was upon Hogwarts. The castle had been emptied of nearly all of the students. The few that remained had just finished a delicious Christmas Eve feast with all the staff members that remained, and many other guests of the school. The students finished their desserts and left to go back to their common rooms. Seated still at the table were many staff members and guests, all who happened to be members of the Order of the Phoenix. One of the people still seated was Headmaster Albus Dumbledore who seemed to be smiling and bouncing in his seat unable to keep still. He was staring at Professor Flamel, begging the older man with his twinkling eyes. Nicholas finally gave in. He cast a large privacy charm around them all and stood up.

"I can see Albus is about to burst, and I am sure he has told a few of you about one of his little gifts this holiday." Nicholas began. Everyone was watching him with rapt attention.

"I have discussed the matter with Mr. Potter, who we are still trying to locate, and after some pleading, a few concessions of my own, I have persuaded him to allow me to share with Albus, and the rest of you, the substance we have been studying."

"Before I do that," several people groaned and started getting impatient, "I first will try and share some of what I can with you.

"When this project first came to me, I really had no idea what it could lead to. I did not expect much, and so, after running some preliminary tests, I can honestly say I was truly shocked at the potential it has. Severus does in fact have a vial of it, and no, I cannot tell you the password to it.

"We are not ready yet to come forward with our findings or discoveries just yet, as there is a lot of potential misuse available with the substance, and we need to exhaust essentially all the possibilities we can, determining the ways it can be used. There are several distinctly different ways it can be used, and a few of them you have been witness to in their testing form, and may simply have not been aware of it.

"I believe before the school year is up, we will be recruiting some other experts to assist us in this process. Both Professor Snape and Professor Granger's names have been discussed as candidates. Albus, we agreed you may be a little too excitable for working on this."

Albus continued smiling and nodding seemingly agreeing with that assessment. "Oh for the love of sugary goodness, just tell us what the substance is!"

Nicholas stared at the impatient old man. "Fine."

Albus smiled and yelled, "Praise be to Harry!"

Professor Malfoy, purely on impulse, yelled back, "Praise be to Potter!"

Nicholas just shook his head. "Anyways, the substance that as far as I know, only Mr. Potter has ever been able to acquire, doesn't exactly have a proper name per se, but we have been calling it…"