Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It was now late February, and Professor Snape and Professor Granger were arguing in the Headmaster's office about a potential hire for next year.

"I read the newest handbook, Albus! I know my rights!" the irate dark haired man exclaimed.

Professor Granger tried to calm him. "Severus, you are being ridiculous. Every other member of the staff is prepared to welcome him with open arms."

Albus just chuckled at the byplay the two were having.

"I'm telling you now, if you hire that boy, I will press charges. It says quite clearly, that our incident would fall under the rules of sexual harassment. It would be grounds for his immediate dismissal. Spare him the embarrassment and just hire someone else."

Hermione shook her head at the complete ridiculousness of her colleague.

Albus spoke up, "First, Severus, that incident was months ago, and far before he was ever a co-worker of yours. And second, speaking as the Head of the Wizengamot, I can assure you no trial would ever find a hug of gratitude to be sexual harassment."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Why are you being so irrational about this?"

"I know a bad touch when I feel it!" Severus sneered before falling into a resigned sigh. "If you must know, after I had my Dark Mark removed and the Dark Lord was gone, I was curious what my greatest fear was, and what a boggart would turn into before me. It wasn't until just last month that I encountered a boggart and discovered what it was." He briefly looked up at both Albus and Hermione before dropping his head again. "If you must know, it turns into Mr. Longbottom. He has his beefy arms open and out in an effort to touch me inappropriately."

This year had taken a toll on both Albus and Hermione, and Hermione was able to keep herself from laughing out loud with no problems at all. Albus, managed to restrain himself in some ways, but was not about to let an opportunity like this pass him up. He extended his hands out and up towards his Potions professor and said, "Severus? Would you like to practice hugging?"

Severus snapped his head up and just sneered at the Headmaster. His biting retort was interrupted by someone barging into the Headmaster's office.

All three were quite surprised to see it was the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. He addressed the man sitting behind his desk. "Mr. Potter. This has gone on long enough." He said loudly and proudly while drawing his wand on the man. The 'Albus' at the desk just began chuckling. Severus and Hermione both quickly drew their wands and were pointing them at the laughing man behind the desk.

The Albus behind the desk was still smiling and looking at the two Professor's and man who had just entered his office. The Albus Dumbledore who had just barged into the office started cracking up, much to the surprise of the two Professors holding their Headmaster at wand point. "Man you guys are too easy sometimes."

Severus and Hermione both turned back to the newcomer who had by now morphed into the more familiar guise of Harry Potter. Harry was still chuckling and the Headmaster was smiling.

Albus spoke first. "Welcome Harry. This is a pleasant surprise."

"Likewise Albus. I didn't think you'd mind if I enlisted the aid of a couple of your staff members." Harry responded with a smile.

Hermione's eyes lit up like Christmas had come. "You're bringing us into the project?"

Severus just raised an eyebrow and observed his reluctant youngest Master.

"I do have a couple tasks I was hoping you could assist me with in development. Completely voluntarily of course. As Albus can tell you, things like this are a thankless job."

Albus nodded. "I never would have finished my work with dragon's blood were it not for the groupies."

The other three looked at him a bit curiously.

"Mr. Potter, you know for sure neither I, nor Miss Granger would ever pass up this opportunity. I'm curious why you are here propositioning us and not your partner." Severus intoned with his usual Slytherin guile.

"Who? Old St. Nick? He's probably busy thinking up ways to torture muggle children, by jumping into random fireplaces through illegal floo installations. Krissy's not just for Christmas anymore! Dun-dun-dun." Harry finished melodically.

Albus added, "I hope not. He should be teaching a class right now. Fourth year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, if memory serves."

"Okay. He might be doing that instead. But he's probably thinking about torturing muggle children." Harry responded with a knowing smirk.

Albus looked at Harry carefully. "You're too smug right now. What do you know that I don't?"

Harry sighed. "Albus, you're quite old, and I'm not sure you have enough time left for a conversation of that magnitude."

Albus frowned playfully. "Oh hush child."

Harry shrugged with a smile. "I don't really know anything, I just happen to have faith in the DADA curse. It helped make me the man I am today."

Albus frowned at the thought he was going to need another DADA teacher. Nicholas had made no indications that he was leaving, but he hadn't necessarily indicated he was staying either. He did have a significant project going on.

"Anyways, Severus, I was hoping you could look into modifying many existing potions through the addition of Dementor Blood. I found one very useful way to use it. When added in the right quantities to a Polyjuice potion, it makes the transformation permanent, until a counter potion is consumed."

Severus looked thoughtful considering the implications of this. "Theoretically then, if you had a hair or skin sample from before a disfiguring accident, you could take the potion and appear normal?"

Harry nodded. "Or simply take one of yourself, and appear to never age." He nodded towards the Headmaster, "Or grow ridiculous looking large white beards."

Harry continued. "The tricky part is that the Dementor blood adds a very powerful, but essentially neutral component to the potion. It takes a precise combination of phoenix tears and basilisk venom to be able to equal that neutrality and counter the power of the Dementor Blood."

Severus retorted, "Those are not exactly ingredients I have in excess to experiment a lot with. They are quite expensive."

Harry nodded. "Yup, that's why I brought you these." He pulled out from his cloak, two large gallon sized milk jugs full of murky clear liquid. One was labeled "Phoenix Tears" and the other was "Basilisk Venom."

Albus looked at the size of them "Good lord! You drained a few dozen of them dry."

Harry just rolled his eyes. "If you need anything else, or large quantities of other materials for experimentation, just let Nicholas know. I can often find the necessary resources when asked."

Severus nodded, and was eager to begin. He grabbed the two jugs of phoenix tears and basilisk venom and began to head out of the office. Harry cleared his throat and Severus turned back with a curious look on his face.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

Severus looked down and saw he had the venom and tears, and couldn't think of anything else. Harry rolled his eyes, and pulled out two more gallon sized jugs containing the black liquid entitled Dementor Blood.

Severus looked ashamed and said, "Oh. Right. Sorry."

Harry smirked, "Sorry? You say 'sorry'?" He just shook his head. "What happened to you?"

Severus scowled and sneered in his more familiar manner and took his jugs of Dementor Blood as well. As he was departing eagerly to his dungeons he heard Mr. Potter yell out a parting, "Complete secrecy on your work. Feel free to include Professor Malfoy, but complete secrecy for both of you on this."

Harry was chuckling when he heard a yelled back, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Hermione was nearly bouncing in her chair waiting for her assignment.

"Alright Hermione, and you, I would like to be in charge of my morning coffee." Harry said with a straight face. "I do not want black, I like cream and I like sugar but in the proper amou-" That was as far as Harry got before Hermione had punched him in the shoulder so hard he whimpered.

"Egads, woman. Fine. See if I stick my wand up the nose of the next person to attack you." Harry pouted playfully.

"Come on Harry! Give me some Dementor blood! Tell me what to focus on! Study! Study! Study!" Hermione whined.

Harry turned to Albus. "Does MENSA have cheerleaders encouraging people at meetings?"

Albus shook his head. "Not anymore. There was an incident and part of my plea bargain includes being unable to discuss this any further."

Harry snickered. Hermione looked horrified, confused, and unable to tell if the Headmaster was being serious. "Alright Hermione, I've worked out some of the basic arithmantic implications of Dementor Blood, but I thought you would like to completely map it out. Primarily I need to determine the limitations on its storage abilities, and honestly, if there are any limitations. Including degradation over time. I haven't looked into whether there was any ancient research on the subject, since we're not sure when the Dementors first showed up, but it might be worth consulting your old grocery list just in case."

Hermione was tired of feeling guilty for that and just nodded. Harry handed her a notebook, and a vial of the blood.

"I doubt you will need even this much of a physical sample, but Nicholas can get you more. The notebook is linked with one of mine in a way similar to the Magical Tome of Alexandria. My notes are accessible to you, when I choose them to be, and yours will be accessible to me, when you commit them. There is also a linking charm allowing written conversations on occasion. If you need to speak with me, commit a note requesting a date and time, and we can talk that way."

Harry smiled at his friend, and said "Good afternoon Hermione. Albus, I'm afraid I must be going." Harry noticed a familiar dish on a shelf. "Hey Albus, did you not like the Hot Tamales?"

Albus raised an eyebrow, "Hot Tamales?"

Harry responded. "Yeah, Hot Tamales. The candy in the never-ending dish I had Peeves give you. I find them to be scrumptious and thought you might appreciate them as an alternative to the tasty sensations of the lemon drops."

Albus eyebrows jumped and he smiled. "I never even realized it was another self-filling dish."

"It has more uses than protecting the family jewels you know." Harry added.

Albus blushed and nodded.

"Later guys. And definitely hire Neville. He'll be brilliant, I'm sure of it. And after he accepts the position, tell him about Severus's boggart. That's too much irony for Neville to discover naturally. He might burst." And the annoyingly common wink, finger snap, and pop, and Harry was gone once again.

Tonks had grown impatient. There had been many minor pranks and she had been fondled under mysterious circumstances more times than she could count. She had met up with Hermione and Nicholas a number of times, and they had no leads at all towards Harry. Tonks knew that Hermione was doing some work on Harry and Nicholas's project, and that she had a way to contact him.

She met up with Professor Granger and Professor Flamel. "Alright guys. I know you can contact him, Hermione. And you can help us set the trap, Nicholas. We need to knowingly draw him here. And leave it up to me to subdue him."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Subdue him? How are you planning to do that? It seems unlikely a stunner or just about anything magical would work."

Nicholas nodded. "I'm curious what method you intend to use as well."

Tonks looked pensive and serious. "If magic doesn't seem to work, I'll do it the muggle way." She smiled brightly. "I'll snog him senseless."

Hermione just guffawed at her friend. Nicholas nodded his head. "You know that just might work actually. It's worth a shot."

Hermione looked at Nicholas. "Alright. So how do we get him here?"

Nicholas was thinking. "We need a reason for him to be present. And it cannot be research you have done Hermione because that would just be transmitted through the journals. Perhaps we should mention we have something he needs to see. A demonstration of sorts. It should be project related, but nothing that can be communicated through notes and analysis."

Tonks nodded eagerly. "We only need to make him think there's something to see. We don't have to actually have something."

Hermione nodded. "True. But it has to have enough basis in fact, to draw him out."

Nicholas was thinking. "Perhaps, something discovered by accident. You spilled a drop of your vial somewhere and something miraculous happened."

Tonks thought and said, "Maybe it's a delicious seasoning for cooking?"

Hermione and Nicholas both looked at her and understood why she was not part of the research team on this project. "Interesting. But not quite what we're looking for."

They all sat in silence for a while and Nicholas suggested. "Perhaps we should make no mentions, but merely allude to the fact that this is something he needs to see to be able to understand. Giving no reason will be more effective than a poor reason."

Tonks and Hermione agreed. They made a plan for the Saturday before Easter. The three of them made sure to make no mentions of the plan to anyone else. Nicholas was to back up Hermione's claims that this was something Harry needed to see, and then it was up to Tonks and her feminine wiles to trap and control the feisty boy.

Saturday morning found Hermione having a discussion through her book with Harry asking him to come by, so he could see something revolutionary. Harry agreed, and mentioned he had to run a couple errands, but that he would come by her office at 3:00 PM.

Nicholas and Hermione were relaxing at her desk, when precisely at three o'clock there was a knock on the door. Professor Snape entered and noticed Tonks crouched in the corner waiting to spring. He looked over at the two other professors, pointed at the odd Caretaker and asked, "What's Tonky doing?"

Tonks took that as all the proof she needed and she tackled the greasy man to the floor and began snogging him and rubbing up against him for all she was worth. The slightly horrified Potions professor gave in to her ministrations and began to snog her back just as forcefully.

A curious Harry Potter walked into the room, noticed Tonks on the floor making out with Professor Snape and just raised his eyebrows and muttered, "I'll come back later." He swiftly left the room and disappeared.

An absolutely horrified Tonks leapt off the greasy man and began casting spells to cleanse her mouth. A frustrated Snape narrowed his eyes and angrily muttered, "Tease."

Nicholas and Hermione were holding in their laughter as best as they could.

Tonks yelled, "Snivellus!" before she started gagging and casting water spells into her mouth and on her face.

Snape rolled his eyes, "I've been trying to be nice to people, and every time I get called that in return."

Snape finally stood up and looked at the other three people. He was wiping excess fruity smelling lip gloss off his face and said, "You know I never even considered it as a seasoning for cooking," He smiled and smirked. "And not even I would subject my little Tonky to snogging Severus." A familiar wink and he disappeared with a pop.

Tonks stopped casting water spells into her mouth and smiled a bit at being 'his little Tonky'. Nicholas quickly looked at both girls. "How did he know that. We were in my room. My room is safe from listening charms and bugs, even those created with the new Dementor Blood. One of us had to have told him somehow."

Hermione shook her head. "He knew exactly what we were doing the whole time. My goodness. It's like the never-ending cheek. I feel like we've been permanently cursed to be unable to find him."

Nicholas was still upset. "Which of you discussed the plan in insecure areas? He should not have been able to figure this out."

Hermione and Tonks were shaking their heads. Tonks spoke up, "I never mentioned the plan to anyone or even thought about it aloud. The only discussions I had were with you two, and that was always in Nicholas's room."

Hermione nodded. "Same here."

Nicholas seemed to calm down. He sighed and looked at the two younger women. "I'm tempted to admit that he's too good."

Hermione got a bit fired up. "No way! You can't give up! You're our best shot at finding him! We need you Nicholas."

Tonks was still a bit smug at having snogged the bejeebus out of Harry.

The three called it a day. Tonks got her snogging, and they were all shown up, as per usual.

It was nearing the end of the year now, and there had been no signs pointing to whatever Harry was up to, or where he was. Hermione was getting a bit antsy. Her research had been progressing well, as had Professor Snape's. Both of them usually just talked with Nicholas about the work whenever they felt like it.

But today, Hermione was in Nicholas's office thinking about Harry some more. Wondering why he kept being able to get one over on them. She knew Harry was good. But she had a nagging feeling she was missing something. She voiced her suspicions to Nicholas.

"Nicholas, I know Harry is around here somewhere. I've been watching every student for anything remotely abnormal, and I cannot find anything pointing to him. I think he's in the school most of the time. I would have sworn he was making some hidden camp in the Chamber of Secrets, but I had two different ghosts check it out, and they said there was nothing down there or signs anyone had been since I graduated."

Nicholas nodded and agreed. "I agree. I think he is here, and he is enjoying every minute that we waste trying to figure out what he is up to. Here, I found a couple things in a muggle magazine you might appreciate."

Hermione took the periodical and opened it to the page Nicholas had marked. She gasped and started laughing her head off. It was an ad for a hair loss product. The male in the ad was Draco Malfoy, and seeing him with a shiny dome topped head, and smidgeons of bleach blonde hair on the sides was just too perfect looking. He had a bright smile, and the picture identified him as Draco Malfoy, former model. Hermione was already making plans for a poster sized blow-up of the ad.

When she turned to the next marked page, she found an ad for male enhancement supplements. It featured what appeared to be a large team of female beach volleyball players around a giant towel they were shaking like a trampoline and thrusting Albus Dumbledore up in to the air. The smile on his face left little doubt as to the point of the ad.

The last marked page made her drop the magazine in fright. She was imagining the rage it would incite. The picture was of a scowling hook-nosed greasy haired man, frowning fervently. A small tear was falling out of one eye. It listed the signs of depression and where to turn for help. Hermione made note of the magazine and made plans to buy up as many copies as she could.

"I wonder who did these." Hermione asked with a roll of her eyes.

Nicholas shook his head with a smile. "It's a mystery to me. I really have no idea who in the world it could be."

Hermione noticed something sitting on one of Professor Flamel's shelves. She went over to investigate. It was certainly out of place at Hogwarts. She picked up the muggle DVD off his shelf.

"The Princess Bride?" Hermione asked. "Why do you have this here?"

Nicholas smiled and explained. "It was a gift from Mr. Potter. Have you ever seen the movie?"

Hermione shook her head. "Nope. Should I?"

Nicholas's eyes twinkled like sparklers. "I think you may find it enlightening."

Hermione wasn't about to worry about being subtle here. "What do you know? Is there a clue about Harry in this?" Hermione was getting excited about a potential clue.

Nicholas smiled and said. "It's more something Harry noticed and thought I would appreciate, than it is anything about Harry. In fact, it would probably be more a clue about me than necessarily one about Harry. By all means, see if you can figure it out though. Very enjoyable movie nonetheless."

Hermione's face fell a bit. She was curious to learn more about her former DADA professor, but she was really hoping to have something on Harry.

Nicholas could read the emotions on her face quite easily. "I assure you, Miss Granger. You will not regret watching the movie."

Hermione smiled and nodded. "If you don't mind me borrowing it, I think I'll visit my parents this weekend and see if I can figure out what that twisted boy had to say about you."

"Good luck, Hermione." A smug old man said to the young woman leaving the room.