Disclaimer: I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or Ruronin Kenshin.

Well, well, looks like Okubo & Katsura managed to gag Ikeda & team before the Miburou get their hackles up. If anyone's interested in the child prostitution racket & Kichi interviews, drop me a line in the review box and I may sneak them in as a special issue, limited only to loyal Choushu supporters, behind Katsura's back of course.

Azer: Propaganda is an art form of taking what you are aware of (facts, speculations) & twisting them to project the image you want the public to see. The really good propagandists can sweep war crimes like genocide and massacres under the carpet. They are called revisionists and they can write textbooks. Of course, I do not have their skill, so I'm playing at Choshu rebel editorial team portraying the Shinsengumi in a less than favorable light.

Sakura-Shinguji aka Frustrated Gardener: Shishio-san has agreed to kill your neighbours for fun but not their bunny.

New Kyoto Post

Working for a Brighter Future!

Issue 8

NOTICE from the Chief Editor

The editor regrets that the exclusive scoop on the suspected Shinsengumi child prostitution racket will NOT be published, due to certain issues. Neither will the interviews with patrons of the Shimabara Boys' Teahouse who have personally 'romped' with a certain young captain in the force going by the name 'Kichi'.

On a lighter note, there was a marked increase in sales since our last issue. We hope that you'll continue to support us.

-- Chief Editor Ikeda Yori

Local News: Okita NOT Serial Killer?

The Shinsengumi will like to stress that Capt Okita Souji was in not way involved in the near-slaughter of an entire unit of the other Kyoto public security force last Wednesday night. Vice-chief Hijikata was quoted as saying that the first captain was with him all night. Yeah, sure, they must have loads of things to discuss in private… we can only speculate… Investigations still are underway.

Unknown Woman found Dead

The decomposed body of an unknown woman found hanging from a roof beam in an abandoned house. Only clue to her identity is a copy of the New Kyoto Post. Authorities will appreciate it if anyone comes forward with information.

Fire at Old Temple

A fire broke out at the old abandoned temple on the outskirts of town. Shortly prior to the fire, three suspicious persons were seen exiting the premises. They were recognized as members of a local peacekeeping force. What really happened? Arson is suspect.

NOTICE:

Due to complaints of unknown persons leading our young astray, only parents and teachers employed by the Mibu Temple School and Orphanage will be allowed on their premises. YMSA volunteers are to note that as of this notice, all community service projects there will be cancelled.

That applies to you too, Kenni and friend. NO more impromptu showdowns in the schoolyard, even if you're using shinais. You're scaring the kids!

-- Okubo

Notice from Vice Editor:

I am pleased to announce that I have found my neesan. She is safe and sound in a small but pleasant country inn. However, she wishes to take time off from her column and work for a while. Shishio-san will continue to cover her duties in our advice column in her absence. I am glad to resume my duties with this publication. I sincerely apologize to all for any distress my colleagues have caused in my absence.

-- Vice Editor Katsura

P.S. Ikeda-san & team, we need to talk. Meet my page same time at the usual place. He'll bring you to me. Any one knows where I can get some medicine for headaches?

Umeko's Kitchen, er, I mean Ask Shishio

For the last freaking time, it's Ask Shishio! And some of these letters are not even worthy of being read by me! And I don't do animals, except wolves! If you require my mainstream services, contact me at the firm. Pah! Bakas!

Dear Umeko,

I'm a very pretty woman who has found a wealthy man but he is unaware of my 10-year-old Yumi. Will he leave me if he finds out I have an illegitimate daughter? What should I do?

Wanna-get-Married

Stupid woman!

Heard of Shimabara entertainment district? They always have openings for girls of that age!

-- Shishio

Umeko-san,

My horny old man brought home his bastard and then croaked, leaving us holding the brat. Should I dump the brat at the orphanage or raise him in the family as one of ours?

Anonymous Rice Merchant not named Seta

Seta

You are a moron and an imbecile! Keep the brat and raise him until he is old enough to work. Then work him hard in the fields or whatever. You've got yourself a lifetime slave. BAKA.

-- Shishio

Umeko

My page, S. has been very obedient until he fell into some bad company, namely a redhead whelp. I sent him out on an errand. When he failed to return, I went to look for him and I found him playing games with his friend in a Shimabara teahouse. (Shudder) I think I am losing his loyalty! What should I do?

-- Ronin

Ronin,

That's simple. You may want to separate them permanently to prevent further trouble. Order him to kill this so-called friend to prove his loyalty. If he refuses, lock him up in the wood shack or something until you can think of a fitting punishment for the little traitor.

-- Shishio

I need to go slash someone, anyone… let's start with those pesky neighbours. (Throws the remaining letters out the window)

Employment Opportunities:

New leader of a covert organization linked to Edo Castle security seeking agile persons for our assignments. Skill in roof walking and kunai or shuriken use a must. Apply to Aoshi after dark in thebamboo forest behind Kyoto Tower.

Vacancies for beautiful, energetic girls to work outdoors on night shift. Apply to Okina, Aoiya ramen roadside stall.

URGENT! Need babysitter for super genki girl-child of a renowned ninja clan. Preferably with ninja background. Apply to Okina, Aoiya. (Aoshi, if there're no takers, she's your responsibility…)

Advertisement:

Got trouble with a poltergeist? Want to get in touch with the dearly departed? Troubled by spooks? Contact medium Fujita Goro at Oshima's Soba Restaurant every Wednesday at lunchtime. Or leave a message with Oshima-san.

(Oshima, why must you place the ad in this paper? It has the widest circulation, Fujita-san. Do you want to be Gatotsu-ed?!)

Employment Opportunity

URGENT! Female hairdresser needed to work at private hostels and inns. Expected duties will extend beyond hairdressing for macho samurai. Strict background checks will be carried out. Contact Masuya & Co.

Personal Ad:

To Y no Kichi, Where have you been? Your regular patrons are very upset. We don't care if your work name is an alias and you're really a captain in the Kyoto elite swordsman unit so long as you don't disappoint our customers. If you wish to terminate your employment with us, kindly tell us so!

-- Boys' Teahouse

Missing Person Report

Er, anyone seen Ayu-nee? She's pretty and smart and a great cook! Her full name is Yama… WHAT?! You found her? (Runs off. Hey, kid, you still want the ad to be placed? Stupid redhead brat...)

Author's notes:

In RK manga, Keshin mentioned that he crossed swords with the captains of Patrols 1, 2 & 3. All the matches ended in a stalemate. Maybe he'll cross swords with Okita, Saitou & Nagakura soon. Katsura died of a brain disease some years after the Bakumatsu. Wonder what will happen if Seta Soujirou & Yumi come across this issue of Ask Shishio…

Shinsengumi members putting ads in the Choushu paper? Well, well... Psychic Fujita & a certain redhead page better pray that no one comes across their ads.