Disclaimer: I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or Ruronin Kenshin.

An update. Kinda tricky managing two papers with similiar characters but different timelines. And there's the historic research part...

Read and Review and forgive any historical inaccuracies.

New Kyoto Post

Working for a Brighter Future!

Issue 12

EDITOR'S APOLOGY

We apologize for the temporary suspension of our publication as a result of ongoing investigations by local baka-fu authorities in the zealous crackdown on anti-Shogunate forces. We hereby reassure all our readers we are in no way involved in any anti-government activities. Long live the Emperor!

- Chief Editor, Ikeda Koji

HEALTH BULLETIN

Local health authorities will like to remind all citizens with the onset of cold weather that it is important to safeguard your health. A mild but persistent cough can be a sign of a serious illness. If accompanying symptoms include tasting copper in the mouth, smelling strange substances and fatigue even if you haven't wiped out a pack of Choushu dogs or Mibu wolves, please come down to the nearest clinic for a thorough examination. We have a nice solitary ward for you at the local quarantine wing.

CAT FLEA OUTBREAK

The health council has declared a cat flea epidemic in the city. Citizens are advised not to cuddle or play with strange black cats and to maintain good personal hygiene. Suspected source of the outbreak is Black Cat Mansion. Authorities are currently seeking its owner.

NEW! Mountain Survival Guide by K.K. (Peasant)

Due to complaints from my staff of their inability to adapt to a peasant lifestyle, I'm writing this guide from my peasant hovel while I plant tubers and fish from a mountain stream.

Tip 1: Grow your own vegetables and yams.

Grow your own food for subsistence if you are able to. Stock up excess yams and tubers for the coming winter. Note also that winter in the mountains is colder and earlier, so do not dally too long about planting. If you haven't planted anything by now, you're probably looking at hunting for your food.

Tip 2: Start your own business selling snake oil and cheap herbs.

This will not only supplement your income but allow you to mingle with the locals and keep in touch with the happenings in town. Be on the lookout if your fellow snake-oil seller has the Shinsengumi's logo on his wares. There've been reports of Shinsengumi shinobi passing themselves off as medicine sellers.

Tip 3: Hunting made easy

Get a bow and arrows. Hunt rabbits or pheasants. Boar is a dangerous bet, a spear should be used. Work in a team for best results. In addition, you get some exercise. Fishing is another alternative if you don't want to tire yourself. Do bundle up if it's cold.

If all else fails, seek sanctuary at the local temple or monastery. Do be respectful to the monks. They're taking a risk sheltering you after all. The wolves of Mibu still retain some respect for holy ground, for now at least. My dearest neesan and my darling dove, please stop bringing food down to me. Be assured I am eating well despite my current haggard appearance.

(Oi! You drunks up on the bridge! Quit peeing off it! I live down here! Shaddup you beggar… Why you…)

NOTICE:

Students to my field classes take note! We will be having a major class outing on December 15th! Meet at the practice fields. Bring your tools and banners!

- Takasugi (cough, cough)

Umeko's Kitchen:

The weather is turning cold. Luckily, Umeya has introduced a wide selection of delicious soups to warm you all up. We have the miso traditional, clams, fish broth… Oops, I got carried away. Gomen.

Dear Umeko,


I'm a young and innocent girl and I'm scared! Yesterday, I got lost in the city ( I'm new here, and it's big, y'know, and I can't find my way outside my futon, so...) I asked directions to some man in a uniform, but when he looked at me I felt like he wanted to attack and rape me! I ran away before he could do anything but now, every time I turn a corner, I'm afraid to run into him! And now, every time I see someone clothed in blue and white, I start panicking. What should I do? Where should I go for help?

- Scared Girl

Dear Girl,

Come to our Women's Association branch at Umeya. We have a social network here to help girls like you. Just ask for directions, Umeya is at the junction of Lantern Street and Plum Street. (Nami, is that right? Yes, it is.) It has two large purple parasols outside and a post for tying your pets to while you enjoy your meal. Another thing, avoid those blue-and-white guys. You never know when they're high on sake or simply plain bored.

- Yours, Umeko

Dear Umeko-san,

I am a mature woman with a demanding job. I have met my soul mate at long last. He's a mild-mannered gentleman who is equally in love with me but should our relationship be known, you know… Also, I've been lying to him about who I really am. What should I do?

-Troubled Gal

Dear Troubled,

I can understand the pressures of work on your personal life. If your love is as strong as you claim, I'm sure it will overcome all obstacles. Of course, you must have courage. But why the need for deception? Will he leave you if you are honest to him? If he does, forget the cad.

-Yours, Umeko

Umeko-darling! (Heart)

I finally found my mentor's sons. Unfortunately, my mentor has passed on. I got in touch with the elder one but I think he has a rotten impression of me. What should I do?

- Ryouma (Starry-eyes)

Ryouma-kun,

You didn't harass him at his place of work in such an outrageous manner that you got chased out by a Miburou pack, did you? Try to meet him outside his workplace. Cut down on the near-suicidal outings into the wolf pen.

- Yours in worry, Umeko

Oops! The soup's boiling over… lalala…

Personal Ad

(If Hijikata-san knows I'm placing an ad in this tabloid, he'll order me to commit seppuku but I'll risk that seeing it has the widest circulation in Kyoto.)

I am looking for my friend, well, maybe, Suzu. He has been missing since 3 months ago. He's kind of serious with white hair and dark skin. Please give any information to Umeko-san at Umeya. She'll relay it to me the next time I drop by to buy Okita-san's favorite sweets.

Suzu, if you're reading this… I'm sorry about what happened. Look, I'm worried about your safety. Please contact me. I will understand fully if you want to kill me on sight.

Personal Ad to Sakamoto

Leave me and my brother alone! We have no interest in whatever nutcase scheme you got! Don't look for us, don't call us don't even think of us! Please! I just want to continue my safe job at a certain civil office and keep my head attached.

Personal Ad

Kenni, if you're in Kyoto this spring, will you care to meet me for sakura viewing? I got some really great haikus I would like you to comment on. Please reply via Umeya.

– Your fellow poetry critic, Sou

Personal Ad

Saitou Hajime! How dare you stand me up at the kabuki theater! I waited all evening in the rain for you! (Atchoo! Atchoo!) Jerk! You better not be in some Shimabara Teahouse like my brother is! (ATCHOO!)

Personal Ad from beyond?

This is a little unusual. A local medium known as Fujita Goro placed this ad in our paper on behalf of a departed soul. When we tried to tell him our policy of not placing ads in the name of the dearly departed, he threatened to Gatotsu us. Here it is.

Suzu! Have you forgotten all I taught you? Quit making a whore of yourself and get your sorry ass back where it belongs! – Yoshida

Of course, no one can verify the truth of this cryptic message from beyond. Yoshida of the YMSA lost his head in rat control incident gone awry at Ikeda-ya main inn three months ago.

Author's notes:

In the RK manga that Takasugi led an attempted uprising in the December following the Ikeda-ya incident, despite suffering from TB. Actually, Katsura's living under a Kyoto bridge as a beggar. The peasant thing is an attempt to throw any pro-bakufu readers off track.

The Ichimura bros are risking their necks to put ads in the New Kyoto Post. Ryouma's contact with the Ichimuras happened in the later manga series but it was included in the anime prior Ikeda-ya.

Fujita Goro aka Saitou did mention something like "that's a cruel tale" when he kinda sensed Yoshida's shade in the PMK manga. And Saitou's girl sounds like... well, he better have a good excuse for her.