Disclaimer: I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or Ruronin Kenshin.

Sakura-Shinguji: Yep, the mystery man's Hijikata alright. He really has problems with Itou joining the group. I like your letter, but I will answer it in a later issue where I think it will fit in with the ficcie.

A-chan: Yes, sadly, I have to start this issue with a obituary. Spoilers for PMK vol 2 and 3. And what of the Sou-Kenni friendship?

Sailor-Earth13: More references to Kenshin coming up. After all, he is a regular at Umeya. A little bit on how Saitou came to be his RK form in the coming issues.

New Kyoto Post

Working for a Brighter Future!

Issue 14

OBITUARY NOTICE

Yamanami Keisuke, 33, committed seppuku after charges of desertion were brought against him by his colleagues in the Shinsengumi. He was known in Shimabara for his kindness and generosity.

Teahouse operators and other denizens of Shimabara will like to stress that the man known fondly as San-nan did not die of any ailment contracted from his numerous visits to the entertainment district.

The wake has already been held. It was noted that the body was not present. The body was hastily buried hours after his reported seppuku without the usual funeral rites accorded to it. Shinsengumi leaders refuse to comment. Itou Kashitarou was reported to have made such a cryptic remark.

"Was it seppuku or…" When our people tried to press him on this, he simply smiled and walked off.

Rumors are rife. It eerily resembled the demise of a past Shinsengumi leader. Why the need for a hasty burial? What are you trying to hide?

OKITA A MURDERER?

CURSES

A blond woman was seen in the woods behind the shrine a few nights ago cursing the first Shinsengumi captain Okita Souji. Witness Takagi T. describes her as being extremely distressed. Takagi gave the unidentified woman one of her straw dolls, which the woman promptly pinned to a tree with her kunai.

"She was screaming, Okita, you murderer! How could you do that to him! Burn in hell!" our witness reports. When our reporters went to the scene this morning, we found two dolls pinned to the trees. One bore thewords "Okita's a Murderer". The other read "Runaway Groom Saitou, when do you intend to wed me?"

Local shrine keepers will like to remind would-be curse placers that there are more suitable cursing trees in the Kyoto outskirts near Mt. Hiei. Give the shrine woods a break.

SONGS and GRAFFITI

Children were heard singing a new song "Okita killed San-nan" outside the new Shinsengumi training grounds. Graffiti along the same lines was found on the outer walls, much to the temple monks' annoyance. The man at the centre of this storm has reportedly taken ill.

To quote Vice-Chief Hijikata, "My Souji is extremely distressed by Yamanami's seppuku. He has taken to his bed." We sympathize fully with poor Souji and wish him a speedy recovery under Demon Hijikata's loving care.

When questioned as to the origins of the song, the children were clueless. Interestingly, there was a similar song featuring Hijikata, but the children said: "We haven't the guts to sing that one because he'll kill us." The children fingered two unnamed boys as being responsible for the graffiti. One was known as Rooster-head.

LOCAL NEWS: Serial Killer strikes again!

After a lull of several months, the mysterious swordsman has returned to terrorize Kyoto streets. This time, Captain Saitou Hajime has named the killer who wiped out half his patrol last Thursday night as Hitokiri Battousai. It was understood that the good captain was away then trying to postpone his wedding yet again.

The Sake Shack wishes to inform all bettors that they will not accept bets on Battousai as of now. Gamblers are asked to bet instead on how long the Shinsengumi's best will last in a duel with Battousai.

LOCAL NEWS: Panther on the loose

The general public is advised to be careful when out at night after the Shinsengumi Seventh Patrol was attacked by a large mysterious animal described as an overgrown black cat last Friday night. Two taishis were severely mauled by the beast. One of our staff, who is very well-traveled, named the beast in the witness' sketch as a panther.

Notice to the master of the Black Cat Mansion

Keep your bloody cat under control. You're worse than your freaky old man. At least he kept the big bad kitty indoors. Don't act innocent with us… Tiger-sized black cats are not native to Japan. You own the only one! Ignore this notice and you'll be fined!

- Kyoto Town Council

P.S. We're considering shooting your kitty on sight next time.

Umeko's Kitchen

Very busy this week. Despite having to rebuild half my kitchen, Umeya's still open.

Dear Umeko,

I am a young man with a problem. I love dressing up in kimonos and wearing pretty things… Can I still contribute to society if I choose to pass myself as a female? Or are all society's contributions done by men only because weak women don't have what it takes?

- Kamatari

Kamatari,

That was the most misguided notion ever! Women have been contributing to society's development since time immemorial. Ask your mother! Everyone can contribute to society.

- Umeko

Dear Umeko,

I have a comrade who is so indiscreet. He gets a wolf pack after him almost twice weekly! He is a hazard to the rest of us! What's worse is that he seems to be hanging around my sister too much! Help! I worry for my sister.

- Nervous Brother

Dear Brother,

Your sister enjoys the man's attentions. Don't worry, your neesan wields a mean naginata and very capable of taking care of herself. Did I mention that I'm trying to get him to teach me how to use those Western weapons?

- Umeko

Dear Umeko,

I've been friends with this guy since we've been little kids. Over the past year we've drifted apart because of our affiliations...(cough He's working for a certain dirty wolf pack and I'm NOT cough) Anyway, his birthday is coming up. Part of me wants to give him something, because we've been friends for so long, but another part of me just wants to hit him for joining with the wrong crowd. I mean, he's really all I have, and I do care for him despite the fact we're on opposite sides of a certain discussion. What should I do?

-Distressed Friend

Dear Friend,

Why don't you do both? Get him down to the good old Sake Shack for some birthday fun like my girls suggest. Treat him to some sake, enough to get him suitably incapacitated. Then, give him a good kick to the rear into the river on the way home… (Sweatdrop) Nami! Hotaru! Quit joking. I can't give your advice… Kenni! Do you have any ideas?

- With apologies, Umeko

Personal Advertisement:

To Sano and Katsu,

I am willing to make an exception for you and allow you to join our camp despite your tender years after much discussion with the others. You two sorely need a direction in your lives. Come by our offices so you'll quit terrorizing the good citizens of Kyoto.

- Sekihoutai chairman (Even if Sano doesn't read, Katsu does… mumble…)

Advertisement

Kimono and accessory sale at Momoko's Boutique. Special discounts on silk products. We cater to all ages, male or female. Yamazaki-san, do you wish to check out our Lady-line kimono selections? We have them in your size.

URGENT!

Exorcist wanted to deal with restless spirits manifesting themselves as voices and shadowy figures in empty rooms. Contact Shimabara Teahouse Union.

Personal Ad

Contrary to rumors, my sister did NOT poison her late husband. He just happened to eat some poorly prepared blowfish from an unlicensed stall. The words "Damned bastard, I'll fix him" was my sister's way of expressing her affection for him as she awaits his return from his mistress' place. She was simply fixing him supper – K.

Reply: Brother dear, DISCRETION… you promised not to mention that damned bastard again, didn't you?

Personal Ad:

Enough is enough! Stop publishing and spreading those slanderous rumors about my friend Sou. He doesn't work in Shimabara and he doesn't procure children for brothels! And for crying out loud, stop accusing him of murder when it's really seppuku. Understand?

Sorry, Sou. I can't accept your invitation again. I have business to attend to.

– Anonymous

Reply to Ad: Hey, whose side are you on? Your employer wants to speak with you, urgently.

Employment Opportunity:

Waitresses wanted for Aoiya restaurant and inn. Must be pretty and agile. Must be good with heights and kunai handling.

Author's notes:

Playing up on Kenni and Sou's friendship. The part about the panther is cooked up.

SPOILERS! San-nan's seppuku isn't what it appears. Let's just say he was led to be mistaken about his colleagues' intentions after he fell out with Hijikata. Akesato's really distressed, even more so when Okita confessed his involvement in San-nan's death. Itou's suspicious of what happened and is planning a breakaway.