Title: Zarf'nl Demon: The Power of the Shiny
Author: ty-rant84
Rating: PG or whatever it's called now.
Warnings: Almost desecration of dead bodies
Summary: Spike learns the power of the shiny.
A/N: I don't know how this happened or what I was thinking while I typed this. Give me a break.
Feedback: it's how I survive.
Archive: Let me know.
That was odd.
Spike had just gotten back from working the streets, feeding off of the corner girls, when he had run into his Princess and the pouf. They hadn't been around the room for three days and he wanted to know what they'd been up to. Normally, he would have noticed them, but he had been a tad bit preoccupied with the Zarf'nl demon.
If you ever see a three armed, miniature, purple gorilla-like being, walk away. It's not worth it.
How would Spike have been expected to know the creatures were stronger than Squilks and faster than those Gliksniks from last week?
Anyway, the Zarf'nl was rather opposed to being interrupted and decided to attempt to beat Spike to dust with the light-pole that it pulled out of the ground with one hand. That was probably when Spike realized that he should leave. Granted, at that point, he had already been grabbed by the 2 foot high monkey with the free hand and had been smacked with the pole twice in the head.
Spike should research how the thing was able to hold him up off the ground when it was one third his height. He hadn't been concentrating on the how's of the situation and it was bugging him now.
Drucilla and Angel had of course chosen that second to show up. It had taken her about 30 seconds to recover from giggling at the sight of him, which was somewhat rude. Perhaps Spike would have done the same thing if faced with the same visual, but purple fuzzball was fast and was still hitting him repeatedly during those same thirty seconds. It had hurt.
Drucilla then joined the fight wholeheartedly and had finished off the demon within five minutes. Spike liked to think that she had only succeeded because he had the demon's hands focused on him and under control.
After the fight, Dru had felt obligated to exchange several cryptic phrases, though Spike still had some trouble understanding what the bleedin' hell she was saying. It may have even ended with something like, "The stars say that dancing shall free the birdy from the evil octopus which entangles the kitten so." and then Dru pranced away, spinning at random intervals with Angel smirking at poor, battered Spike before following Dru.
Spike had gone home.
Their room was still bare as it hadn't been furnished, but he'd finally figured out how to hook up a stove and some rerouted sewer entrances. The sewage had been the most challenging. The pipes are very difficult to weave around graves.
There had been one incident with a body being buried without a completely closed casket. Actually, the casket had probably been opened after the burial. At any rate, Spike had accidentally tried to connect the pipe through the grave site, thinking that he would dig high enough. He hadn't. Luckily, the body in the casket wasn't there anymore. That would have been icky.
He'd gotten home and was settling down to sleep when he realized that he'd had a long day and had drunk a lot of blood (the packaged swill, but it was better than nothing).
As anyone who'd consumed anything, he had to take care of some business. Now by this time, Spike was tired and not thinking too clearly. His mind was scattered. His thoughts went everywhere. He'd only been dead for a few months. He hadn't noticed everything about his newly undead state of existence.
How was he supposed to know that Zarf'nl demons could regenerate a decapitation injury?
A bit of good advice, if you're ever threatened by a monkey in your bathroom, stop to pull up your pants before rushing after it.
By the time they were finished, Spike had learned his lesson. The Zarf'nl demon could be placated by offers of shiny objects and in return, it will give you back your pants. Always carry something shiny with you. The next night he went aquired a candlestick that would fit in his pocket. Something shiny and blunt. Always a good thing to give to disgruntled Zarf'nls.