Disclaimer: I do not own Peacemaker Kurogane or Ruronin Kenshin.

M.Kasshoku: Kenshin was fully sober and very sorry about what he did to poor Sou. He did not enjoy it at all. Ryouma came up with the idea. Besides, it was either Kenshin or him who has got to shake off the wolves. Since they needed Sakamoto to be peacemaker between the Satsuma and Choushu clans, guess who got the job. Well, there were some hints of a more than professional relationship between Sakamoto and Sara the bodyguard in the PMK manga volume 4.

SailorEarth13: I agree with you on the Sou-Kenni friendship. They were quite similar in many aspects. About a certain pervert, he will be pestering the ladies of Kyoto for a while, a very long while. His latest target? Umeya waitresses!

What happens when a very stressed-out physician and morgue-keeper takes over Umeko's column? A certain former shinobi is back! Another message from the other side for the wolves.

New Kyoto Post

Working for a Brighter Future!

Issue 22

Latest Notice from the Editor's Desk

While Koji is away, I will be filling in for him. I have calmed down and am fully capable of running this newspaper with the aid of my sisters in the WAJ. I apologize for all the trouble and worry I've caused during my absence. I stayed with an interesting but arrogant gentleman in his mountain shack after spending two weeks bashing around in the forest.

I thank Hiko-san for rescuing me. Indeed, I was surprised to learn that we have a common friend and a mutual love for shogi, poetry and good sake. I spent an enjoyable time playing shogi with a true master. Be assured, Hiko, that I have no intention of asking you to embroil yourself in these turbulent times. As you say, it is an enjoyment simply soaking in the calm and beauty of nature. Cheers!

Interim Editor Umeko

OFFICIAL NOTICE: NO SPLIT!

The Shinsengumi denies all rumors of a split in the ranks initiated by Military Advisor Itou. "We're one big happy family here!" Chief Kondo Isami insists even as Vice-Chief Hijikata and Itou seem to be engaged in a staring match behind him. "We are very reasonable in our regulations and there is always room for discussions."

When reminded of the late Yamanami Keisuke, the man lost his tongue and Hijikata was obliged to take over the press conference. "What happened to San-nan was a simple misunderstanding, like what happened at a dingy little restaurant some months ago."

"Rest assured that we are united in our efforts to stomp out any anti-Shogunate forces! May I remind you of the Ikeda-ya affair in which our men have proven their valor and determination to protect Kyoto and its citizens." Oh sure…

FUSHIMI: SHOGUNATE FORCES THWARTED

Mystery Rescuer

Teredaya in Fushimi, a sister inn of Kyoto's Ikeda-ya, was attacked by pro-Shogunate forces. Our Satsuma offices report massive carnage that was believed to be sparked off by a minor family disagreement and too much sake. Suspected combatants included Saigo of the Satsuma clan and members of the Choushu. Then a mysterious schoolboy came running to the rescue of both Choushu and Satsuma men. He severely wounded or killed half of his opponents.

Some of the Shogunate men suffered gunshot wounds. A dark man with a weird hat and his blond companion were seen fleeing the scene. He was quoted as yelling to the others, "Hell now, we wouldn't be here if you had not spent so much time wrangling and signed the treaty last year instead!"

Despite weeks of investigations, Fushimi authorities have yet to confirm if the mystery man was indeed Sakamoto and the schoolboy the infamous Battousai of Kyoto.

Umeko's Kitchen/ Kitsune's Morgue:

Since Umeko isn't back yet, I, Kitsune, or Kitsu-dono as I am more commonly known in these parts, will answer your letters.

Dear Umeko-san,

I always wanted to be great shinobi like my late neesan. However, a couple of kunoichis sent me packing. Recently, I wound up becoming a doctor to the Shinsengumi. Did I make the right choice? Am I letting my sister down? Neesan always said I'll be a great shinobi one day. Er, and there's this young samurai who has been seeking my professional attention although I think it's simply a case of severe growing pains… Er, it's just growing pains, right? Nothing else, right? (sweat-drop)

Shinobi-turned-Doctor

Dear Susumu-chan

First wrong career move, working for a pack of bakufu wolves. It's all downhill from there. You've made a good choice in your career change. I've heard about some jerk trying to spear you whilst you were in the attic with that Sou-chan over some damned book. Stay alive, Susumu. That's what your neesan will have wanted. Don't get involved with those samurai types! They are nothing but trouble. Even if they have red hair and are kinda cute.

Aunt Kitsu

Dear Umeko,

I'm a nice guy! Come on, we both run successful restaurants. Why don't we have a merger? You are in pretty good shape yourself. Why don't we find somewhere to get to know each other better?

Wanna know you better

Dear Okina,

I speak not only for Umeko but for all Kyoto's womenfolk. Want to be castrated, you pervert? I'll be glad to oblige. You better not be the guy sneaking into the women's baths!

Aunt Kitsu

Dear Umeko,

I heard from a friend you are good at this… I have survived a past seppuku attempt. Recently, my old wound has been giving me problems. Should I see a doctor? I am scared of doctors…

Not Capt Harada

Aha! A samurai. Why don't you finish what you started? I look forward to seeing you in the local morgue. By the way, you do know your pig-hugging friend's on his way out, right? Bets! Who's the first to go? Takasugi or Okita? And Hijikata! Have you caught any embarrassing ailments from those cheap whores you're so fond of? Got a mat to wrap you up in before tossing you to the wild dogs.

Editorial Note: Due to her extreme political views, Kitsu-dono will not be handling this column any more. Instead, she'll be cooling her head in a cell, or on a bench on the execution ground…We need a new physician! The Miburou just arrested ours!

Notice of Congratulations

We gals of the Red and Black Club will like to congratulate Yamazaki Susumu on earning his qualifications as official Shinsengumi physician. We hope that you will be as good a physician to the Shinsengumi as you were their shinobi. That way, you save us the trouble of us having to pick them off ourselves.

Paid Ad

Susumu-chan! I always knew you and your sis would make better physicians than ninjas. It's just your old man was too blind to see the benefits of letting you train as my medical assistants. I was kidding about using you two as test subjects then!

– Aunt Kitsu of the clinic by the morgue

Thank You Notice

We of Umeya thank potter Hiko Seijirou for escorting Umeko-san back into Kyoto. However, we must say, you could've saved us considerable worry and trouble if you had at least bothered to send word to us when you come into town for your weekly sake pick-up at the Shack.

Missing Persons:

I am searching for my daughter, Yukishiro Tomoe, aged 19, and her brother, Enishi, aged 13. They have not been in touch with me since they left Edo for Kyoto in the two springs ago. Tomoe is slim, quiet, with long black hair and a demure manner. Enishi is very close to his sister and was last seen wandering around holding her purple parasol. If you have any information on their current whereabouts, contact Yukishiro of Edo at Honda-ya.

Reply to Ad:

We regret to inform you that your daughter has died. Her gravesite is at the old Kyoto Public Cemetery. She was a good, kind-hearted girl. Sorry we have no clues as to the fate of her brother. The fact she had a brother is news to us former Kohagi Inn waitresses.

Notice from Emiko, Psychic

Got this from a late Shinsengumi guy who has been trying to get the message through to a certain comrade who kept walking through him over the past months. Yes, I normally don't do those messages, but I'm making an exception for this poor soul's persistence.

Toshizou, please remember that little chat we had before I left this world. DON'T do anything you will regret later! Hajime! You were supposed to talk sense into him. Souji, sorry about giving you and the other guys a bad time. Please be assured that I never blamed you for what happened then.

Akesato-san, I am glad you found that special someone. I apologize for having ever doubted you then. I wish you both all the best. Tetsu, don't you neglect Saya-chan now, okay? Heisuke, please be careful. Don't do anything you'd regret later. Susumu, your sister wishes you all the best in your new career.

San-nan

Author's notes:

(Historical Fact) The Teredaya Inn ambush happened in1866, Ryouma narrowly escaped being killed.

I don't know if it the Stacho treaty had been signed then, but I assume it has. Sakamoto and gang are still very much wanted by the bakufu for their activities.

Kitsu-dono has something against samurai, in particular, Hijikata. Maybe he zanned her husband or son. She also knew the Yamazaki siblings and their ninja-doctor father. Yukishiro senior's looking for his offspring. Saitou's lost most of his cool psychic powers by now.