Thanks for the reviews guys; I figured I'd get started on chapter 2 immediately so I did. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and as always, reviews are always appreciated!
Previously on Survivor: Nae'blis
The Forsaken arrived on an island, Shaidar Haran killed the castaways already there, the Forsaken do some funny stuff and fight, Asmodean has a pink marker, and Graendal voted herself out. This chapter begins immediately after they are transported from Shaidar Haran's dimension…
Survivor: Nae'blis - Chapter 2
Be'lal: There's a whole day ahead of us, any suggestions as to what to do?
Mesaana: Let's play a game where we each take turns imitating someone else, and we have to guess who they're imitating!
Aginor: Sure why not.
Semirhage: Your childish games bore me. I'm going to go search around the island a bit.
(Semirhage walks off into the jungle)
Lanfear: Who's first?
(All Forsaken scream "Not it" at same time except for Balthamel. He just glares at them then nods reluctantly. Balthamel pulls out a mirror and holds it up with one hand, while stroking his hair with the other)
Rahvin: Haha that's a good one, who's that?
(Balthamel just shakes his head)
Be'lal: It's you, you vain bastard
Rahvin: What? I do not look-
(Pulls out a mirror and checks his hair real quick, then puts mirror away)
Rahvin: -in the mirror all the time!
(Other Forsaken sigh)
Aginor: Ok Ok, my turn. "Ooooo look at me! I love 'The Sword That Isn't A Sword', watch me carve one in wood and pretend I'm cool! I so won't get balefired later by a pompous Aes Sedai that holds back information from EVERYONE!
Be'lal: Hey now that was uncalled for!
Lanfear: Haha that was perfect Aginor! You really captured the crazed obsessiveness of him, while simultaneously ruining the end of the third book for everyone.
Be'lal: Oh yea? Well how bout this. "I LOVE Trollocs! I just love to crossbreed random things to see what kind of freak of nature I can create, this way I won't be lonely when I realize everyone hates me. If I ever died and got reincarnated, I would never possibly put myself in a position where I get killed AGAIN!
Aginor: Oh that was brilliant Be'lal, you must have thought long on that one. It's always "Trolloc this, Trolloc that"! I DID create other shadowspawn too you spine! You're just insecure because I'm so much stronger than you in the One Power and you'd need your precious Callandor to beat me!
Be'lal: Bring it on old man! BRING IT ON!
(Be'lal tackles Aginor down the beach)
Mesaana: My turn! My turn! "Lews Therin loves me! Don't worry, he won't 'cheat' on me with 3 women. We'll both take the Choden Kal and challenge the Creator. 'We can challenge the Creator, Lewsy, the Creator!'"
(Rahvin, Sammael, and Asmodean burst out laughing at Mesaana's imitation of Lanfear)
Lanfear: "I want to be a Teacher! Of all things! I contributed so much to the Shadow's cause. Look at me teach CHILDREN to spy on their parents and love me. I am definitely scary material hear, let me tell you, If you mess with me I might teach you how to read!"
Mesaana: You love sick bitch! Oh, I'll "teach" you alright, I'll teach you how to take my foot out of your ass!
(With one huge lunge, Mesaana tackles Lanfear off her feet and they roll down the beach clawing at each other. Rahvin drools while staring at the cat fight)
Asmodean: This game is fun! I want to go! "………….."
(Asmodean just stares ahead blankly and Balthamel glares at him. Asmodean doubles over giggling and pointing at Balthamel, who apparently does not find this poor imitation of himself funny. Asmodean slowly gets a hold of himself and stands up)
Asmodean: Haha that was great, right Balthamel? Balthamel…?
(Asmodean yelps and barely dodges a burning log from the campfire. Asmodean runs down the beach with Balthamel hot on his tail wielding a burning log. Rahvin shrugs and tackles Sammael into the sand and begins wrestling with him. The chaos that ensues is too difficult to explain in English, so I'll explain it in the Old Tongue: "Rablava'yutso nein'sien'ich sieg'flabbin'hielow entursek sprechen bronchitac!")
(Meanwhile in the jungle. Semirhage hears the shouts of the others and sighs)
Semirhage: Geez, what do they get themselves into when I'm not around? That's a stupid question. They always find themselves fighting; I think they're crazy half the time. Graendal was. Who votes themselves out of a chance to become Nae'blis… why am I talking to myself…?
(Semirhage trails off as she notices Moghedien dead on the ground with a wooden sword in her back)
Semirhage: Uh huh… so that's what happened…
(Semirhage takes the wooden sword out of Moghedien and turns to leave. Then she looks back at Moghedien's body and her mouth twitches in half a smile. For the next 5 minutes, Semirhage stamps on Moghedien's body relentlessly while cackling madly)
(10 minutes later, back at the campsite)
(Semirhage walks out of the jungle holding the wooden sword and looks at the chaos. Lanfear and Mesaana are down to their bras and panties with their hair completely messed up and are circling each other like sumo wrestlers. Sammael and Rahvin are sitting behind 2 sandcastles with the names "Caemlyn" and "Illian" written in their respective castles and are throwing rocks at each other. Sammael is screaming "Illian is superior!" while Rahvin screams "Caemlyn OWNS you!" Asmodean is running around squealing and barely avoiding Balthamel as he swings his burning log at him. Aginor and Be'lal are still wrestling in the sand. Aginor throws Be'lal off him and Be'lal tumbles to lay at Semirhage's feet)
Be'lal: Ow… hi Semir… CALLANDOR!
(Be'lal leaps up and snatches his wooden sword from Semirhage and holds it out towards Aginor)
Be'lal: Fool! Prepare to taste the wrath of Callandor!
(Be'lal lunges at Aginor, who just grabs the wooden stick and breaks it in half)
Be'lal: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Be'lal's scream stops all the other's fighting and Be'lal falls to his knees holding the broken 'sword' in his hands)
Be'lal: YOU MONSTER! (sob) You… you monster…
(Be'lal begins outright crying loudly and buries his face in his hands)
Semirhage: This is why we can't have nice things… yea… for anyone that cares; Be'lal killed Moghedien last night by accident when he threw his stupid sword away in terror.
Mesaana: That's so sad… Oh well, who wants to read?
Be'lal: Can't you see that we're doomed? Without Callandor there is no future! (More sobbing)
Sammael: Illian is MINE!
Be'lal: You fool! You stupid fool! Damn you and damn your Illian! (Be'lal points to Aginor and Sammael) A plague be on both your Houses! A PLAGUE!
(Be'lal gets up and runs off into the forest leaving the broken Callandor in the sand)
Aginor: Geez what's his problem? It's not like that's really Callandor.
Lanfear: Tairen High Lords get that way sometimes.
Semirhage: Bloody Tairens…
Rahvin: Hey does anyone realize that we've been here 2 days and we haven't eaten a thing? You'd think we'd get hungry.
(At that exact moment all the Forsaken's stomachs growl loudly)
Asmodean: Now that you mention it, I am starving.
Mesaana: I THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE!
(Mesaana begins eating pages from her book)
Lanfear: Hmmm we can either go find food on the island, or someone gets eaten.
Semirhage: Let's eat someone!
Rahvin: You've got to be kidding me. Can't we just like eat books like Mesaana is? I'm sure they're high in… Ca'alcium or something.
Aginor: Well in any case it can't be me; I'm too old to die.
Rahvin: I'm too handsome to die.
Lanfear: I'm too beautiful to die.
Semirhage: I'm too eager to eat someone else to die.
Mesaana: Rime Rot Rungry Ro Rit Rant Re Re
Sammael: Illian is mine!
Aginor: That's an excellent reason not die Sammael; you always do know the best answers… I think the only words other than "Illian is MINE!" that you've said during this whole time on the island were "shall", "be", and "but".
(Sammael smiles at the compliment, oblivious to its sarcasm.)
Aginor: Since I'm too old, Mesaana is feasting on a book, Lanfear's too beautiful, Rahvin's too handsome, Semirhage is too sadistic, Sammael has Illian, then it's down to either Balthamel or Asmodean. And since I think we all agree that eating Balthamel can't be good for our health… (All notice Balthamel's rotting flesh and barely human appearance even behind the black carapace) then I guess it has to be Asmodean.
Asmodean: Hey now that's not a fair way to choose. I have a reason not to die also. It's… it's… hey now gimme a second. Without me… (Thinks quickly) you won't have anyone to bitch around!
(Other Forsaken think for a moment)
Rahvin: Well at least we'll be full. I say we eat him anyway.
(All the Forsaken nod in agreement and close in on Asmodean. At that moment, a black gateway opens up and ten wine coolers fly out of it, followed by fruits of all kinds and cookies. Then Shaidar Haran steps out)
Shaidar Haran: As much as I'd love to see Asmodean eaten alive by you all, I'm afraid that goes against the rules of this game. Be'lal would be reprimanded for killing Moghedien, but that was an accident. Also I caused it indirectly by scaring you all, plus I can't find him at the moment. So eat up and don't let me find you attempting to eat each other again.
(Shaidar Haran steps back into the gateway then pauses and turns around)
Shaidar Haran: One more thing. There will be a new member to your group who will be arriving tonight. I suggest you treat him as if he were your equals even though he is not one of the Chosen. If I catch any of you attempting to hurt this man… let's just say you'll wish you were dead.
(With that, Shaidar Haran left through the gateway and it vanished)
Mesaana: A new member? Not one of the Chosen? This just isn't fair! This never happens in the books that I read! When I read books everything specifically…
(Mesaana loses herself in her speech again)
Rahvin: Hmm, I wonder who it could be. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
(All the Forsaken pause for a moment in deep thought)
Asmodean: You were really going to eat me weren't you? You sick freaks!
(The Forsaken all pig out on the food they received and lay down. While in the middle of a game of 'Screw your neighbor', a blackened fire flares 10 feet off from the fire and dissipates to reveal Demandred laying in the fetal position. All the other Forsaken quickly gather around him)
Rahvin: Dude... what happened in there?
Lanfear: Demandred dear, are you ok?
Mesaana: Did you bring back any books?
Sammael: Did you find Illian?
(All other Forsaken gasp loudly and look at Sammael)
Rahvin: Omg, you can say something other than "Illian is mine"?
Sammael: Duh, I just choose not to because my character is boring without his comedic Illian routine.
All Forsaken: Oooooooh…
Aginor: So what happened Dem? Spill it!
(Demandred keeps shaking in fear a while, then finally responds in a slow forced voice)
Demandred: It… kept… asking me… if It could be my friend… It wouldn't stop… ignoring It did no good. It has the patience of a saint, and never runs out of breath. And those eyes… those BEADY EYES! JUST BEGGING FOR FRIENDSHIP!
(Demandred begins sobbing. All the other Forsaken shudder visibly and nod. They all knew the horrors of the Tom. Tom was a rejected kid from back when they were all in high school that used to follow them around and stalk them. He never had any friends and He never went away, even if you insulted Him to His face or hit Him. He was an immortal sack of annoying filth, and all had suffered psychologically from Tom.)
Aginor: Shaidar Haran has no right to do that to you, it was completely uncalled for. NO ONE deserves to go through what you went through, Forsaken or not. How did you survive the night Dem?
Demandred: I managed to bleed my ears to the point where the blood clotted and blocked out all sound. But He was always there, watching… AGH! THE EYES! IT'S WORSE FEAR THAN A MYRDDRAAL'S GAZE!
(The Forsaken knew the dangers of facing the Tom. There was a saying in Forsaken High School: "The look of the Tom is fear." Demandred spent the rest of the day with the others telling of other horrors he encountered while there, and how he saw the many skeletons of other 'friends' who could not survive. Night rolled around quickly)
Rahvin: Well Demandred, you're ok now and as long as you watch yourself around Shaidar Haran, you'll never have to see that… thing again.
Demandred: So where's Moghedien, Be'lal, and Graendal?
Aginor: Dead, ran away, and voted self off island.
Demandred: What?
Aginor: Forget it they're gone.
(Suddenly the Forsaken became aware of footsteps coming towards them from the jungle. They all turned toward the sound and saw a small, weasel looking man with a big nose step out and look around nervously while stroking a ruby-hilted dagger)
Lanfear: And who are you?
Padan Fain: You may call me Padan Fain, and I'm joining this game of yours.
Rahvin: You don't deserve to be here! You're not one of the Chosen, you can't even channel! How can you even be allowed to participate? Leave! Leave now before the admin BANS you!
Padan Fain: Fool man, I am more deserving to be here than you all are. I'm the one who tracked down the 3 ta'veren to begin with. Without me, Robert Jordan would have no plot to begin the series.
Aginor: Robert who?
Padan Fain: Nothing. Anyway, I'm here to stay so make way for the Fain!
(Padan Fain sits down between Semirhage and Lanfear and puts his arms around them. 5 seconds later Padan Fain's face is buried in the sand and Semirhage and Lanfear both sniff at the same time.)
Rahvin: Geez, how rude. Who does that?
Lanfear and Semirhage: Men… Jinx! Double jinx! Triple jinx! Quadruple jinx! Quintuple jinx! Sextuple jinx! Septuple jinx! Octuple jinx! Nonuple Jinx! Deca jinx!
(The jinx match ends in a tie because neither Semirhage, Lanfear, nor I know what comes after Deca jinx)
Shaidar Haran: I see you've met your new member, and look, it seems you've given him the complimentary back hand already…
Demandred: AH! Cmon man you REALLY need to like, announce yourself before you appear. Maybe a "Yo, I'm about to like warp in, don't be surprised." Or maybe like just make NOISE so that we know you're coming. Is that too much to ask?
(Shaidar Haran just stares at Demandred and a malicious smile appears on his face.)
Shaidar Haran: I can send you RIGHT back you know.
(Demandred immediately falls to his knees and begins bowing in worship)
Demandred: You're the boss man, you wanna sneak up on us go RIGHT ahead! In fact, sneak up on me now! Cmon just PLEASE never send me back there again!
Shaidar Haran: That's enough bowing and praising for now Demandred, but if you annoy me again you're going RIGHT back to the Room. The One Room To End All Rooms…
Aginor: Yea man we get it.
Shaidar Haran: Get some sleep, tomorrow you have another challenge, and one more of you get voted off.
(All the Forsaken go to sleep instantly. When they awake Mesaana is no where in sight)
Lanfear: Where's Captain Book?
Rahvin: Who knows? Good riddens for all I care.
(Demandred and Sammael walk up to the group)
Demandred: We're making a "Hate Lews Therin" club. Anyone want to join?
Padan Fain: OOOOOOH! Me! Me!
(Padan Fain jumps up and runs over to Sammael and Demandred)
Demandred: Woohoo a third member! We shall soon rival the White Tower in numbers!
Padan Fain: It's never over al'Thor! Never over!
Demandred: Yes, al'Thor is Lews Therin, and so he must pay-
Padan Fain: HAHAHA! NEVER OVER AL'THOR! NEVER OVER!
Demandred: Ok, calm down there little man, you're-
Padan Fain: HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA NEVER OVER!
(Padan Fain runs down the beach cackling and waving his ruby-hilted dagger around)
Aginor: You're club suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure is great… Why would anyone join this madness?
Demandred: You're just jealous because we won't let you join.
Aginor: You never said I couldn't join. Why can't I join?
Demandred: You see? You're trying to join but I won't let you.
Aginor: Hey I can hate Lews Therin with the best of 'em, let me join!
Demandred: Eh… I dunno. Your heart just doesn't seem to be in it.
Aginor: My heart's in it! I REALLY wanna join cmon PLEASE?
Demandred: Fine you're in, I expect to see you at all our meetings.
(Demandred and Sammael walk away to try and find Padain Fain before he hurts someone. Aginor just looks at Lanfear who just stares back)
Aginor: What? He tricked me.
(Lanfear shakes her head and walks away)
(Meanwhile in the jungle. Rahvin is slowly approaching a squirrel in hopes of catching it)
Rahvin: Here squirrelly, squirrelly, squirrelly… Come to Rahvin… Gah, this would be so much easier if I could channel.
(Squirrel suddenly looks up at Rahvin, then takes off running)
Rahvin: Tsag! COME BACK HERE! I WANT TO DO THINGS TO YOU!
(Rahvin chases the squirrel through the jungle and it disappears behind some bushes. Rahvin slowly creeps up on the bush that the squirrel went under. He notices its gray tail sticking out and he prepares to attack. Suddenly a man dives from the trees and tackles Rahvin to the ground. Rahvin gets up woozily and realizes that the man is Be'lal. There is a hint of madness in Be'lal's eyes and he is grinning ecstatically)
Rahvin: Be'lal, what the hell are you doing? You just lost me my… fun...
Be'lal: FUN IS A NON-EXISTANT THING WITHOUT CALLANDOR! NO FUN CAN OCCUR WITHOUT IT! NO ANYTHING CAN OCCUR! ALL IS LOST HAHA! ALL!
(It's then that Rahvin realizes the lit fuse on a case of dynamite that Be'lal is holding. It is wrapped with vials of Nitro-glycerin. Where he got it was beyond Rahvin)
Rahvin: Woah man, you might wanna put that out…
Be'lal: Hmmm maybe I would… MAYBE IF I HAD CALLANDOR I COULD!
(Rahvin looks around quickly and picks up a small branch from the ground. He snaps off all the extra twigs and leaves on it and holds it out shakily to Be'lal)
Rahvin: Uh… here is… Callandor, Be'lal. I uh… I fixed it. See? Now maybe you want to...
(Be'lal puts down the still lit dynamite case and snatches the branch from Rahvin)
Be'lal: CALLANDOR! MY PRECIOUS! YOU ARE EVEN BETTER THAN BEFORE! I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO AGAIN CALLANDOR! I…
(Rahvin begins slowly backing away from Be'lal while he cradles the branch and rocks back and forth slowly on the ground and talks to it. Then he turns around and bolts as fast as he can away)
Rahvin: BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY! BAD DAY!
(By the third step, Rahvin thought he heard something coming towards him as he ran. "Never Over!" He didn't have time to make out the words so he kept running. Then he heard it again, closer. "Never Over!" He was sure he heard something that time, but he knew the explosion from that entire case of dynamite wrapped with Nitro-glycerin would not be good to be anywhere near. Then he heard it again. "Never Over! Never Over! Never Over!")
Rahvin: No! Not-
(Padan Fain collides with Rahvin, knocking Rahvin over)
Padan Fain: NEVER OVER! HAHAHAAAAA! NEVER OVER!
Rahvin: Oh shi-
(Back at camp)
(Lanfear nearly fell to her feet as a humongous thunderclap-like explosion rang in her ears. Aginor barely bit back a curse as he turned to look toward the source of the sound. Mesaana, from the other side of the island, looked up from where she was looking under rocks for books to stare toward the source of the sound. Semirhage and Sammael both stopped their argument over whether Illian was the name of a greek god to look towards that huge explosion. Demandred's memories of that horrible night in Tom's room were shattered as the sound crashed home and he sank to his knees with the pain. The sound of Asmodean's harp was swallowed up in the overwhelming sound of the explosion and Asmodean stared in wonder towards the explosion's source in the center of the island. Balthamel looked up from where he was tending to the fire as it blew out and the sound exploded in his ears. All the Forsaken were thinking the same thing: Wtf just happened)
Lanfear: What was that?
Aginor: Eh, probably a squirrel.
(Out of curiosity, all the Forsaken make their way towards the center of the island and all arrive at the same time. They stare in astonishment as they look down into a half a mile wide crater in the earth that still had columns of smoke rising from them. Trees nearby the crater were on fire yet none of the Forsaken seemed to notice because of the shock of the sight before them)
Semirhage: I would've loved to see this happen, heh.
Aginor: Actually, judging by the size of this crater, if you were close enough to see what caused this, you'd be dead right now.
(Semirhage mimics Aginor's lecture silently with a grimace)
Lanfear: Wait a second, where's Rahvin?
Demandred: Padan Fain isn't here either, you think they caused this?
Sammael: Guess I have to start talking. This story will grow quite boring if only the remainder of us are left to be funny.
Mesaana: Well if they are anywhere on this island, they would have heard this explosion, and most likely would be drawn to it as we were. This may exclude Padan Fain because he's a psychotic weasel, but Rahvin would surely be here.
Demandred: "Hate Lews Therin" club, HUDDLE!
(Demandred and Aginor huddle up)
Demandred: (Whispering) I think this is the work of Lews Therin, he's known to blow things up. This has his name written all over it… (Normal voice) Damnit Sammael! Stop writing his name in the dirt and come huddle up!
(Sammael stops writing "Lews Therin" in the crater and runs over to join the huddle)
Demandred: As I was saying… I think Lews Therin had a hand in this.
Aginor: That's ridiculous! He's not even on the island, now you're just paranoid.
Demandred: Silence! –Great Lord I'm turing into Shaidar Haran. Anyways I'm just saying it's possible.
Aginor: No, no it really isn't possible.
Sammael: Illian is MINE!
Demandred: Hey I thought you agreed to speak normally.
(Sammael tilts his head in apprehension and looks confused)
Sammael: Illian?
(Aginor just shakes his head)
Aginor: Great, now he's an idiot AND has amnesia.
Lanfear: Hello? We women want to know what's going on here.
(Mesaana is practically dancing with curiosity while Semirhage is clearly indifferent on the matter)
Lanfear: Well, me and Captain Book at least.
(Mesaana stares at Lanfear blankly)
Mesaana: Captain Book? Oh come on you can make up a better nick name than that.
Lanfear: … right so Captain Book and I want to know what you're conspiring about.
Mesaana: Hey!
Demandred: None of your business! Club member information ONLY!
(Demandred sticks his tongue out at Lanfear)
Lanfear: Well in that case I'm making a "Love Lews Therin" club!
Demandred: Ha, you and who else is in it?
Lanfear: Captain Book and me are in it isn't that right, Booky?
Mesaana: I don't know…
Lanfear: You can write things in a book if you want.
Mesaana: Really? (glee) Then alright!
Aginor: Wow you guys got quite a club there.
Lanfear: And yours is much better? Yours consists of a mad-scientist, a paranoid guy with a grudge, a city hungry maniac, and a crazed weasel, if he's even alive.
Demandred: Hey well at least we outnumber you! You BAD club you!
Lanfear: We'll see whose club is better! Come on Booky, we're going to THAT side of the island.
(Lanfear and Booky, err… Mesaana stalk off)
Semirhage: To make this fair I'm going with them, you guys are no fun anyways.
(Semirhage runs to catch up with Lanfear and Mesaana)
Demandred: Fine! We don't need you! Our club will PWNZOR OBLE DEE OWN YOURS! Come on club!
(Demandred, Sammael, and Aginor stalk off in the opposite direction of the "Love Lews Therin" club. Asmodean and Balthamel just stand there looking at each other)
Asmodean: Hey Balthy, wanna play a game?
(Balthamel picks up a flaming branch)
Asmodean: … oh come on.
(Asmodean runs away screaming as Balthamel chases him with the flaming branch)