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Chapter 13

Sara sat in the front sit of Brass's car in a very foul mood. They had just hurriedly picked up some items at a Wal-mart to get she and Nick through the next couple of nights. She was still pissed that Grissom had sent her into hiding. She knew she needed time to recover from her wounds but she felt she could heal just as well at the lab and not in some fancy hotel room.

Sara knew Nick was greatly relieved. He would be able to watch her and protect her. Not that she minded being alone with him but she knew he would want to know how she was really feeling. She wasn't ready to open up about her fears now or if ever. She would never be able to give him what he needed and she had to find a way to tell him without hurting him.

Sara felt Jim looking over at her and her frown deepened. "Sara it's really not that bad. You'll be in a luxury suite with full amenities and you'll have the handsome Texan to fulfill your every wish." She looked over at him and gave him a snort.

"Hey?" came a dismayed voice from the backseat, "What's wrong with having your own personal handsome Texan?" Sara turned to look at him and gave him an apologetic smile. "It's not you Nick. It's this whole ridiculous situation. We're not going to catch this guy sitting in a hotel suite." "But," Brass interjected, "You'll be alive when we do catch him." Sara humphed and turned to look out the window. The rest of the ride to the hotel was in silence. They listened to the radio announcer say that a heat wave was about to sink its ugly claws into the city. Tomorrows highs were expected to reach over 112 degrees and the heat was suppose to last for least several days. Sara groaned. It just kept getting better and better.

It was after 3 in the morning when Brass finally left them, satisfied that they were safe. He had secured the room and gone over exactly what they were to do if something happened. As an extra precaution and at Grissom's demand there was a guard stationed outside their door.

Sara paced the magnificent room as if she were a caged animal. Nick, however, thoroughly enjoyed himself, checking everything out. He threw himself down on the king size bed and said with a waggle of his eyebrows, "Come feel how nice and cozy the bed is, Sara." Sara growled at him and stormed out into the other room.

Nick groaned as he pulled himself off of the feather soft bed. He marched into the sitting room and angrily said, " I understand you do not want to be here but don't take it out on me. I want to catch this maniac just as bad as you do but we're both not in any shape to do it. So why don't you chill for the next few hours and let your body relax."

She opened her mouth to let him have it but all that came out was a frustrated sigh. All her tension and pumped up adrenaline suddenly left her. She shoulders slumped and sat down on the couch. She looked up at him fighting the tears that were forming in her eyes. Nick's eyes soften as he came toward her. "Darlin' it's going to be all right. You need to relax and try to get a few good hours sleep."

She wiped at her eyes and nodded. "Come here," he said holding out his good hand. She let him pull her up and lead her to the balcony doors. He opened them and they stepped outside. The view was spectacular. It was a sea of beautiful lights as far as the eyes could see. Nick pulled her close and she snuggled into his warmth. They stood there for the longest time enjoying the view and the feel of their bodies pressed close together.

Sara finally turned and snaked her hands up into his hair bringing his lips down to softly taste hers. Minutes passed as they slowly explored each other's mouths. Soon Sara's hands began an intimate journey down his shoulders and across his back. She caressed and stroked the muscles beneath her fingertips. She reached the hem of his shirt and pulled it out of his pants. Her hands instinctively sought out his warm silky skin.

When Nick felt her hands touch his skin he deepen the kiss, growling out his need for her. His good hand found her ass and brought her up hard against his aching body. His hand then traveled to her back seeking out her soft skin. He snaked his hand up inside her shirt and caressed her heated skin. She moaned against his mouth and ground herself seductively against him.

Nick tore his mouth from hers, gasping for air. "Christ Sara," he growled as she reached out and ran her hands down his chest just stopping short of her destination. Nick's deep brown eyes flared with passion as he fought for control over his heated body. "Sara we need to slow down." He hissed as her hands continued to caress him. When she didn't stop he stepped out of her reach.

Sara's lust filled eyes flew to his. "Nick I want you now!" she moaned. "Sara we decided to wait till we were both better." "No that's what you decided," she said running her hand up inside his shirt. "Sara," Nick groaned as she circled his nipple with her finger. "I don't care Nick. I want you to take me. Take me hard and fast now!" her voice demanded.

Her words slowly penetrated his lust filled brain and he reached out and stopped her wandering hands. "What?" he said with an edge in his voice. She looked up at him in confusion. "I want you to f…"she started when he cut her off with a thunderous "NO!" He pushed her away in anger.

"What's your problem?" she fumed looking at his fury filled eyes.

"That's not what you and I are about," he said quietly.

"That's exactly what you and I are about," she hissed.

"Like hell! We're not some strangers who met in a bar. We're friends Sara." Nick said trying to remain calm.

"Yes friends who want to screw each other." Sara countered.

"Is that all you see this as: a comfort lay?" Nick said icily.

"Yes," she said quickly. He looked at her for a moment not quite believing what he was hearing. She turned and headed back inside to the bedroom.

He followed her and said, "This conversation is not over."

"Oh yes it is," she said picking up a pillow and tossing it at him. "You can sleep on the couch." He caught the pillow and threw it back on the bed. "Sara," he growled as he stalked toward her.

"I'm sorry if you have more feeling for me than I do for you. I'm just surprised you'd give up an unconditional screw."

Nick's face turned red and a wave of anger rolled through his body. "Don't you dare throw my feeling for you in my face. I know exactly what as been happening between the BOTH of us the past few days. I feel it and YOU feel it. So don't try and cheapen it with your vulgar words."

Fury filled Sara as she rounded on him, " Don't you dare assume how I feel. You're the one with blinders on his eyes. You want this to be some sweet true love romance. Well it's not and it never will be. Our feelings are based on our near death experiences. They're not real. We can fool ours for a little while but one day you'll wake up and realize that I'm not giving you what you need. I can't! You need someone whole, a woman who can give you everything you need."

He watched tears fill her eyes as she talked. She looked at him, as she sobbed, "It can't be me. It will never be me." She turned and raced into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door.

Nick stood there frozen, the real meaning of her words slowly sinking in. This was her way of pushing him away. Christ he had been so stupid. He sat down on the bed, listening to her quiet sobs. He ran his hand threw his hair and sighed. She didn't think she could give him what he needed in a relationship. She thought herself broken because of the rape. What she didn't know was that he understood all to well her fears and anxiety about being in a real relationship. She knew him well enough to know that he didn't just want sex with her. He wanted more. So she used that to start the fight. She needed to push him away in order to protect herself.

But he wasn't going to let her push him away. He loved her and he knew she had strong feelings for him too. He could see the pain in her eyes as she said those awful things to him. He knew what he needed to do. He had to tell her she was not alone, that she was not the only one broken. He wanted her to see that given time the two of them might make each other whole. He was willing to open his heart up to her because he knew deep down inside that she was the only one who would be gentle enough with it. She would understand who Nick Stokes really was just as he understood who Sara Sidle really was. The woman he loved.

TBC

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