Sara was coming back tonight.
She'd left a message on his office voicemail.
Grissom had listened to it as carefully as any ransom message, trying to gauge her mood, but it was brief and utterly businesslike, merely confirming that she would be reporting in at the start of shift.
He wondered if she'd intentionally called his office so that she wouldn't have to speak to him. It seemed likely: she'd called his home at night to say she'd arrived, and his office by day to say she was back. At least she knew his home number.
Grissom came in early and shuffled paperwork, trying to ignore the tingle at the base of his spine. It was ridiculous, he knew, he was no teenager, and Sara had only been gone for four days. He'd gone weeks without her since she had come to Vegas. He'd gone years without seeing her when she lived in San Francisco.
It had been a long four days.
He sighed, and pulled out another case report.
A light tap on his doorframe startled him. His heart gave an embarrassing back flip as he looked up, expecting to see Sara hovering in the doorway. It was only Greg. Grissom couldn't avoid scowling.
"Yes, Greg? Aren't you early?" He knew he sounded irritated, and tried to hide it. None of this was Greg's fault, and he vaguely realized that the rookie had been bearing the brunt of Grissom's mood these last four days.
"I had to come in to do an interview on my string of B & Es. We got a confession."
"Great. Get me your report as soon as you can." Grissom turned back to the case report.
After a moment, a shadow fell across his desk. Greg again. What did the boy want now?
"Do you need something?"
"Yes. I need to know what's going on. Is Sara okay? Is she in trouble?" Greg sounded worried, and determined, as if he had had to steel himself before confronting Grissom. Grissom wondered what Greg thought he could have done to Sara. Why did everyone always seem to assume it was his fault? And why was Greg so nervous about asking him? Had he really been that unapproachable?
Still, Sara's private life was her own. Greg didn't need to know anything about it. On the other hand, it would only make Sara's return more difficult if he peppered her with questions all night.
He fixed Greg with a steady this-is-none-of-your-business look, and said, "Sara is not in trouble. She was sick. She'll be back tonight."
Greg broke into a wide smile at that, and Grissom wondered how the younger man could reveal his feelings so easily to the world. Had he ever been as open? Would his life have been easier if he had? Probably. But Sara is back tonight. It will be a fresh start. He was nervous again.
Greg bounced out of the office and around the corner. As Grissom was about to return to his report, he heard Greg call "Sara! Welcome back!" in a delighted tone. He froze. She was early. He wasn't ready. No, I am ready. Nothing to lose, remember? He pushed back his chair to go and greet her, but at that moment the phone rang.
"Grissom," he barked.
It was dispatch, notifying him of a hit and run scene downtown. He jotted down the location and thanked the woman, hanging up the phone. He rose, intending to find Sara, but now there was another tap on the doorframe.
This time it was Sara.
She smiled perkily at him, not quite making eye contact. "Hi, Grissom. What's on the menu tonight?"
"Sara. You look good." She did. It must have been sunny at the beach, because Sara had a lovely golden tan. Her smile was wide and bright, but he noticed that it did not quite meet her eyes, and despite her improved color, she looked frail. Has she lost weight? How can you lose weight in four days? He forced the worry off his face and smiled at her.
"Thanks." She smiled a little wider.
"How are you doing?"
"Fine, thanks. So what do we have?" She was too cheerful to be believed, but Grissom didn't know how to lower her defenses, and it probably wouldn't be wise to do so just before sending her to a crime scene. He'd buried himself in work often enough to know what a salve it could be. No, I have to start this right. No backing down or hiding behind the job. I have nothing to lose.
"Shift hasn't started yet, and there's nothing that won't keep for a few minutes. Sit down." She did, looking wary. He would have to tread softly, he knew, but he wanted to establish a connection.
She was waiting nervously for him to speak, and he realized that for all his planning, he had no idea what to say. "How was the drive?" There. Can't go wrong with that.
"The drive? Fine. Not much traffic."
"I wanted to thank you for calling. I was sorry to miss you, but I appreciated your letting me know you had arrived."
"You don't need to worry, Grissom. I'm fine." Right to the point. I should have known.
"Are you sure you don't need more time? Warrick's been looking for overtime, he could cover for you."
"No, I'm fine." She bit her lip for a moment. "Thank you. For offering."
"Of course. How was the ocean?"
She sighed. "It helped." She hesitated, as if unsure whether to continue. Grissom cocked his head to the side encouragingly. Come on, Sara, I'm not just being polite here, tell me something. Anything. Meet me partway here.
"It wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Maybe because it was Southern California. Maybe I should have gone to San Francisco after all." Good, she's opening up a little. See? It is not too late. Just take it slow.
"Maybe. Then again, maybe it's true what they say. You can't go home again."
Sara frowned a little, and Grissom wondered if he had said the wrong thing.
"True enough. Do you have an assignment for me?" Is she annoyed? No, just uncomfortable. Good, that makes two of us.
"I have a hit and run. You can have it if you want to solo. Do you want to jump right in, or hold out for something interesting? The night is young." He smiled, trying to seem relaxed. How much of human interaction is faking ease where there is none? Why do we bother?
"I'd like to just jump in. Thanks."
He nodded, and handed her the paper with the details. "If you need any help, call."
She nodded, smiling a little quizzically as she absorbed his offer. "Thanks, Grissom. I appreciate that." Good. She knows I'm here for her, that's a start. But she'll never take me up on it. I can't let her hide behind work completely.
He nodded. "Welcome back. I missed you."
"Thanks. I…Thanks. I should get going." She smiled another wide false smile and was gone. Grissom let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.
That went well, he thought. He smiled as he turned back to his report. The phone rang.
"Grissom."
Dispatch again, and he had an ADW outside a strip club. Another busy night. He closed the report. He'd bring Greg, as an apology for his snappishness. Sanders liked strip clubs, didn't he?