Crash and Burn – Omake Epilogue #5

By: Clever Audrey, with inspiration from Sly Omi

Disclaimer: I think it has been fairly well established by now that I do not own Naruto.

Warnings: Umm...unusual images of Sasuke. >;)

In which Sakura and Ino exchange gossip
(aka, In which Shikamaru's plans come to fruition)

"Hello, Ino-pig," Sakura called out to her friend, who was just entering the tea shop for their weekly get together.

"Hello, Sakura-chan," Ino shot back, sitting down opposite her pink-haired friend.

"So, did you hear about Sasuke-kun?" The blonde wanted to know after their tea arrived.

"No. What happened?" Sakura hadn't seen much of her former teammate lately.

"Well, I hear that he's been acting…strange lately."

"Actually, now that you mention it, I've been hearing that too," Sakura nodded thoughtfully. "What did you hear?"

"Well – just that he's been…sort of…normal lately. Like, normal-people normal, not Sasuke-normal."

"Yes. I heard that someone actually saw him smile!"

"No! Someone at the corner grocery said they heard him whistling at the store one day."

"Really? Well, we do know he can sing." Both girls shivered with delight at the memory of a certain karaoke party a few weeks back.

"Yeah, but – whistling? In public?"

"I know, it sounds way too…cheerful for him."

"I wonder if he'll still be as cool if he stops brooding all the time…" Sakura mused, sipping her tea.

"Of course he will!" Ino snapped quickly. "He's Sasuke-kun! He's cool no matter what he's doing."

Sakura nodded vaguely, and searched her memory for more scraps of conversation about the dark-eyed chuunin. "I also heard that he's been talking about renovating the Uchiha compound."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Wouldn't that be cool?"

"Uh-huh! And I heard that he voluntarily offered to baby-sit some of the Academy kids the other day."

"Well, I heard that he saved a little girl's kitten from a tree."

"And that he was helping Iruka-sensei plan camping trips for the Academy classes!"

"My mother's cousin's son heard him planning with Tsunade-sensei on how best to landscape that lot behind the Hokage tower – and then offering to do the planting himself!"

"No way! Hope he comes to our shop if it's true…. Anyway! One of my neighbors told me that he was seen in a home decorating shop picking out new curtains and stuff."

"Wow…that's hard to picture. But someone did see him exclaiming over how cute Kiba's cousin's new puppy is."

"No kidding! One of the nurses at the hospital saw him helping a little old lady across the street."

"An ANBU patrol saw him in forest, making daisy chains and wearing a crown of them!"

"The bookstore owner said he was paging through a copy of Icha Icha Paradise."

"No, Sasuke-kun? I hope Kakashi-sensei's pervertedness hasn't rubbed off."

"Yeah. My uncle's brother's daughter's sister saw him reciting poetry on top of Hokage Mountain."

"Someone saw him purchasing a fluffy white poodle, and then loudly proclaiming its name to be Pochi-chan!"

"You remember that thunderstorm the other day? The landlady's third cousin saw him dancing and singing in the rain."

"Well, the plumber's wife's son-in-law's fourth cousin once removed saw him skipping through town, dressed in nothing but a short periwinkle-blue tunic and draped with garlands of peonies!"

"Some days ago he was observed in a frilly lace dress with matching bonnet, playing dolls and tea with the baker's son's cousin's daughter and her friends."

"Oh, oh, you'll never believe this one!" Ino paused dramatically.

"Well, what is it?" Sakura prodded impatiently.

"I heard…" Ino paused again and gathered herself. "I'm not sure I can say it…it's so…so…"

"Just tell me, woman!"

"Okay, okay!" The blonde took a deep breath. "I heard…that Sasuke-kun…actually…initiated a conversation."

"Ohmygodnoway!"

"Way!"

Silence.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"That's amazing."

"Yep."

"What could've changed him so much?"

"No idea."

"Think we'll ever find out?"

A pause, then Ino grinned wickedly.

"I think, my dear friend, that we should make an A-rank, all-important mission to find out."

Sakura considered that, then nodded. "I agree."

They sealed it with a handshake, and went their separate ways.

TBC

AN: Hehehe...I'm not a bit peeved with our dear coughsdumbasscoughs Sasuke-kun right now...no... >.
btw - if someone drew me a comic of this episode, I would love you FOREVER.