Crash and Burn – Omake Epilogue #8
By: Clever Audrey
Disclaimer: I think that everyone here is intelligent and mature enough to know that I do NOT own Naruto.
Warnings: Umm...a little language?
In which Iruka enjoys himself
"Ano sa, ano sa, Iruka-sensei?"
"Yes, Naruto?" Iruka looked up from his lunch to see Naruto and a confused-looking Sasuke standing behind him.
"Ano sa…I just thought that I should let you know that…well…" Iruka caught a hint of mischievousness in the blue eyes. "Sasuke and I are going out!"
And with that, Naruto was gone, making his escape over a chair and around a desk to the open window.
Leaving a wide-eyed Sasuke to realize his predicament.
"You're…what?" Iruka turned back to the Uchiha, letting his eyes narrow into a scowl. He'd actually heard about it from Kurenai already, but he wasn't going to turn down the opportunity Naruto had so kindly presented him with.
"Well…what he said…" Sasuke was definitely looking nervous now. "We're going out."
"You are going out with Naruto." Iruka rose slowly from his seat, hands planted firmly on the desk in front of him.
"Yes?" Sasuke tried to back away but ran into a desk. Iruka managed to cover his grin, and took a deep breath…
"How dare you! You tried to kill him! Do you expect me to believe that now you all of a sudden care enough to love him properly? If you as much as dream in your darkest dreams of hurting him, I'll kill you myself! If you walk out on him I will track you down and make sure that you never see the light of day again! If you cheat on him I'll remove several important body parts and then string you up in the woods! That boy is worth ten of almost anyone in this village, and you'd better be damn sure you remember that! You'll be as good to him as is humanly possible, you hear? You'll treat him to ramen when he wants it and make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble and see to it that he's happy, or I'll get you put in charge of babysitting all the children of the village! And cleaning all the public bathrooms! You'll get nothing but the most menial and embarassing missions from now until the day you die, if he is unhappy because of you! And you're probably already corrupting him in all sorts of horrible ways! You're stealing his innocence! You've gotten just as perverted as Kakashi-san, I'm sure! Oh, the things you must be introducing him to. If you do anything dangerous with him I will see to it that you won't ever touch him again! I'll have Hokage make you work as a waiter in that sleazy bar on the edge of town! No bondage, no whips, no playing around with kunai, no sex-enhancing jutsus and no strange potions that you might come across, understand? Nothing out of those perverted books Kakashi-san reads. You'll practice safe sex at all times, or so help me, I'll..."
He ranted on until Sasuke began to look truly frightened, then stopped abruptly mid-sentence.
Sasuke blinked at the sudden quiet.
"Iruka-sensei?" he asked very quietly.
Iruka smiled at the young man and sat down. He waved a hand at Sasuke, indicating he could go. "As long as you're both happy. Take care of each other, ne?"
Sasuke, now very confused and still looking slightly shell-shocked, nodded and left the classroom, plotting revenge against his lover for that trick.
Iruka smirked. He loved playing the overprotective teacher and confusing former students. Everyone forgot that he had a mischievous streak too.
Well, everyone except Naruto.
AN: Everyone forgets that Iruka was the prankster of the Academy before Naruto. ;D Thanks for all the reviews!