Jason and Sonny sat at a corner table at the Pathétique waiting for Courtney and Carly to come. Michael had pretended to be sick due to his mother's wishes. Her plan was going smoothly…so far.
"I sent Jax back to Sam; he wanted to go back to Port Charles, something about unfinished business," Sonny informed Jason as he tried to break the uncomfortable silence. It only made Jason look more distracted. He sat there sipping at the champagne in front of him. It was going to be a long night, and he needed alcohol to help him get through it. He would prefer a beer, but right know he would take anything he could get.
Carly walked in a few moments later with Courtney close behind her.
"Sorry we're late. Michael wasn't feeling well, but we decided to just eat anyway." Carly's voice was hiding something and only Courtney noticed.
When Carly told her Michael was sick, Courtney didn't want to come. So when Carly persisted, Courtney knew Carly was up to something. She just didn't know what.
Sonny just nodded to Carly's response as Jason merely sat there, looking at Courtney. She looked amazing; she always did. Her hair was down with soft curls outlining her face. Her dress was long sleeves and was cut into a v-shape; it stopped above her knee, and showed her perfect, long legs that estaron de pie on strappy black heels.
She was perfect, self-conscience but perfect. He noticed that the blinding rock she wore on her finger earlier in the day was not there.
Her make-up was au naturale: her eyes were covered with a light champagne color, her lips were slightly glossed over, and her eyes were as clear as ever.
Her dress was more than perfect. Courtney was the only one that Jason knew that could pull off an all black dress. She had added a gold shawl which went along well with her look of perfection.
The smile that graced her lips made his heart flutter a little and made his stomach do flip-flops.
She sat down next to him, and he could smell her citrus-floral perfume. She was tom-boyish, but not. She could be anything she wanted to be. Although she didn't believe that, Jason sure as hell did.
Her legs were still sculpted as were her arms, and Jason found himself wondering if she still worked out every morning like she used to do. He didn't work out anymore. He had lost his will.
They all ordered. She ordered the chicken parmesan; although she hated chicken, she loved chicken parm.
Carly and Sonny easily covered the awkwardness between the four of them with their incessant chatter, well, Carly anyway.
Unexpectedly, Carly had entered Jason into the conversation as Courtney quietly observed. She felt out of place and invisible.
She cleared her throat lightly.
"I'm going to get going I don't feel so well," Courtney stated after they finished eating dinner, "I should check on Michael too."
It was her first words all night, and everyone was too shocked to say anything, so she easily slipped away from them. From Jason.
During the ride to the house, Courtney felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. She wouldn't cry. She had to be strong.
She stared out the window and let her thoughts drift to everything. She thought about her first boyfriend, how he cheated and crushed her heart, how after that she never let anyone get near her, how A.J. used her and she used him for her own security. She didn't even know if she ever loved him. It was just one of those paradoxical occurrences. She loved to feel loved, or she loved the thought of being married. After that, thought, she was in love, and she knew it. She would do anything for Jason, and she felt like she owed him her life. That's how she knew it was love, even before the accident.
The only other person she loved was her best friend. She didn't even love her parents. That's why she felt like she didn't deserve love, and then, after the miscarriage, she felt like she didn't deserve love even more. That's why she left.
Sure, Jason was in the mob and all, but he was the sweetest person she'd ever meet, and he wasn't like most guys.
For example, after sex, he would just hold her while A.J. and Jax and other boyfriends just rolled over and went to sleep.
She didn't deserve him or love. She constantly lied when she was younger. Her mother and even her father told her she was too stupid, too fat, too girly, or too tom-boyish. Her parents were never happy with her. She was never happy with herself.
Then, there was the secret that she kept hidden from everyone. She didn't mean for it to be a secret; it just never came up in the conversations.
She parked the car and entered the house; she went straight for Michael's room. She needed to cheer up right about now.
Michael could always make her feel better or at least make her pretend that she felt better.
Okay, I know I changed Courtney's childhood, so please bear with me. I left a little bit of a cliff-hanger, but I'm sure no one will miss me or the story or my writing that much. I'll probably update tonight or tomorrow or Saturday, really this time. I hope you enjoyed.