Crash and Burn – Omake Epilogue #9
By: Clever Audrey (idea from Slippery Liz)
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, Naruto.
Warnings: Umm...a bad pun and slight innuendo.
In which Shikamaru fights a losing battle
Shikamaru tried, he really did.
He fought it with all his might, abandoning laziness and exerting all his mental effort to make it go away. He pushed and prodded and thought of other things. He gazed at the normally peace-providing clouds and thought of new shougi strategies and even of Temari, though he usually avoided that subject because it was too troublesome. But in the end, it was all fruitless.
Finally, the laziest ninja in Konoha broke down and gave in to his urge to make a really bad pun.
It was a particularly hot summer day and their whole group was lazing around in the shade, attempting to cool off, and unfortunately not succeeding very well.
"I'm so hot!" Naruto whined for the fiftieth time. Sasuke smirked at that, but didn't say anything. "We've got to find some way to cool down."
Geez, even Sasuke can suppress the urge better than me, Shikamaru grumbled to himself, and then sighed. It was just too troublesome to resist anymore. "Well then, Naruto, what you really need is a fan, now isn't it?"
Naruto quirked an eyebrow at him, and followed Shikamaru's lazy nod in Sasuke's direction. The blond ninja looked confused for a minute more, then caught on and grinned. "Yeah, that'd be perfect," he sighed, lying down with his hands behind his head. "A nice, big, sturdy one…in good colors…."
"Like red and white…" Shikamaru also lay down, a lazy smirk crossing his face as Sasuke turned to glare at them. "Though you'll have to be careful, Naruto…there are certain kinds that don't cool you off at all."
"Yeah, they just make you hotter," Kiba cut in, snickering.
"Shikamaru…Kiba…" Sasuke said warningly.
"Like the kind they use to get fires going? I've seen those. Very useful." Naruto continued thoughtfully, as though the dark-eyed ninja hadn't spoken at all.
"Mm-hmm. What you really want is the kind that actually cools you down," Shikamaru mused. "Like the big ones made from palm leaves."
"You mean the kind that some pretty, dark-haired slave woman would fan me with? That'd be awesome…but wherever would I get one of those?" Naruto sighed melodramatically.
"Yeah…not too many gorgeous, dark-haired women around here."
"Not that you'd want a woman anyway, would you Naruto?" Kiba jibed.
Naruto shrugged and smirked. "Well, finding a gorgeous dark-haired guy to fan me would be easier…"
Sasuke scowled at him, but couldn't summon up the energy to tackle the blond.
"I wonder if palm trees come in red and white?"
Okay, so maybe he did have the energy after all.
Shikamaru smirked and closed his eyes, tuning out the noise of Sasuke and Naruto wrestling; annoying the Uchiha was always fun.
Maybe bad puns weren't so troublesome after all.
AN: Just one more left :D