Chapter 29: Erestor's Tea Party

"Erestor… Um… We can come later if, that's best." Illiendal was the first to spoke.

Erestor only clad in a green hula skirt having a tea party with four teddy bears did not notice the two students had ever entered and he screamed like a she-elf when he saw them. Erestor ran away in a hurry and ran back dressed in his usual black attire.

"You both have to swear that neither of you will tell this to anyone." Erestor said. Boromir laughed.

"I cant wait to find out what daddy's reaction will be like!" Boromir sniggered.

"You cannot tell him!" Erestor cried. "Please."

"Why would I listen to a teacher?" Boromir sniggered. Erestor was blushing.

"Please, I'm begging both of you, don't let anyone know." Erestor would fall to his knees if he had to. If news spread of his affair with teddy bears he would be even more self-conscious than before, if possible. And his therapy bills would surly rise, and Jerry Springer might give him a call, too, something he had been dreading ever since an elf in Rivendell yelled 'Goth' at him.

Illiendal, unlike Boromir, felt much pity for Erestor. Not only because he was an elf like she, but he was a kind elf even if he was strict and unsocial.

"We wont tell anyone." Illiendal said. Boromir's eyes grew wide.

"But I want to tell people!" Boromir whined. Illiendal shook his head.

"We wont tell anyone, understand?"

"Oh fine, poop." Boromir folded his arms across his chest.

"Now, what are you two here for?" Erestor asked, back to his usual self.

"I was making fun of Celeborn's circles." Boromir said.

"I hit Sernaer."

Erestor nodded, taking a seat in his wooden chair. He found two quills, two bottles of ink and two pieces of parchment.

"Boromir, I want you to write fifty times 'I will not insult my teachers.'" Erestor ordered, giving Boromir parchment, a quill and ink. Boromir sat on the floor and for once did as he was told.

"And Princess Illiendal, one hundred times 'I will not hit my peers.' Both of you are to have this signed by your fathers. You are not to leave my office until it is written and I had seen it." Erestor said. Illiendal sat down and began to write.

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"MERIADOC BRADYBUCK!" Saradoc yelled when he found his son and his son's two friends still at home, when school was almost half was through.

"Yes dad?" Merry smiled.

"You are supposed to be at school! All of you!" Saradoc shook his head at them.

"Sorry dad. We'll go. Thanks for letting them stay dad." Merry and his friends all got out of the covers and ran outside to were the ponies where. Merry, Mac and Pippin all hoped on a horse and they all went riding, to get to school. But, they decided to take a detour through the old forest.

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When Illiendal had finished writing her lines, she walked up to Erestor's desk. Boromir had already finished and had gone back to class.

"I'm done, Erestor, sir." Illiendal showed him, and Erestor nodded.

"May I be excused?" Illiendal asked, but Glorfindel shook his head.

"I have to repay you for not telling anyone." Erestor opened a locked cabinet, which contained files on all former students of the school. Erestor pulled a very large folder out that said 'Cield Thranduilion' on it.

"How are you going to repay me with my brother's file?" Illiendal asked.

"It has nothing to do with your brother I just… Ah, here is a paper signed by your father." Erestor took a paper, apparently a letter saying that Cield had set a door on fire, and pointed to Thranduil's signature.

"And you need this why?" Illiendal asked. Erestor dunked his own quill in red ink and forged Thranduil's signature onto Illiendal's lines.

"This way, your father will never have to find out." Erestor said, placing Cield's paper back into his file and locking it back up.

"Well, couldn't you just have told me that it does not have to be signed by my father?" Illiendal asked. Erestor shook his head no.

"I have to report back to Glorfindel, and all lines written by students must be signed by their parents." Erestor explained. Illiendal nodded her head.

"Thank you, sir." Illiendal smiled, turning around to go to her class.

When Illiendal got back, Sernaer was waiting.

"I'm really sorry. It's my fault, whatever happened with you and Erestor." Sernaer said quietly as she sat down.

"Don't blame yourself Sernaer, blame Luthien if anyone." Illiendal smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"I did you work in the workbook for you." Sernaer said.

"Why?" Illiendal asked. Sernaer pointed at Fingolfin, who was approaching them.

"For what you did Illiendal, you must do the next ten pages in your workbook, unlike the rest of the class who have no homework." Fingolfin said. Illiendal nodded, and was about to start working on those pages when she found them already done. She looked at Sernaer, when Fingolfin had left.

"You should not have, Sernaer." Illiendal said. Sernaer shrugged.

"You're my best friend, Illiendal, I would do it any day."

"You still call me your best friend, even after I hit you?"

"Oh Illiendal, you slap like a girl. It did not hurt!"

"I am a girl you twit!" Illiendal smiled, poking Sernaer's shoulder.

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In math class the children where working in pairs to count different things in the class. Legolas and Haldir had been told to count all of the pieces of gum.

"Hey Haldir, I know a great way to do this!" Legolas said, smiling. Many pieces of gum were in Legolas' hands.

"What? Will it make it easier?" Haldir's hands too, where covered in gum.

"Yes!" Legolas took all the gum off Haldir's hands and his, and made it into one big ball.

"See now all the gum in the class has become one big piece, so it's one piece plus nothing else. Any number plus nothing is the same number. So our answer is one piece of gum in the class!" Legolas smiled. Haldir was unsure of this, but decided to follow along.

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"Damn it Glorfindel, I will ship you to Mordor if you don't stop fidgeting! And they call you principal!" Tappin, brother of Billy Bob, groaned as Glorfindel would not stop moving whilst he was trying to remove the bandaging of the leg.

"But it's not fun! And it smells gross!" Glorfindel whined.

"Oh stop being such a infant and let me inspect your leg!" Tappin screamed. How Billy Bob did this without giving himself therapy sessions was beyond him.

To be continued…

Last update I said I would put 'Merry Christmas' at the end of every response to review but I forgot to add a merry Christmas at the end of Bberry06's response! So if all reviewers could wish Bberry06 a Merry Christmas in their reviews it would be very nice!

Manwathiel: Fred is the greatest, isn't he? Aside from Billy Bob, of course.

Rainbow Fish: You went to New Zealand and your not shouting and screaming it to me? Oh, what I'd do to go to New Zealand! I would love to see the shire and stalk New Zealand's squirrels! What did you see Lord of the rings related?

Moonlight and Starlight: Sorry the update was not very soon, but at least I updated before Christmas!

Mistopurr: Squirrels rock.

Melda Amarie: I don't think you've reviewed yet. Now you have! What Erestor did is not really R rated, is it? Teddy Bear tea parties aren't that awful…

Haldir's Heart and Soul: The sad thing about invisible hobbits is that they are not as cuddly, since you can't really find them to be able to squeeze them.

Bberry06: Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Season's Greetings! Season's Greetings! Season's Greetings! I'm so sorry, you where the last person who I wrote a response to and I had to get off so I had just… Forgotten!

Orliluvr: You're not the first to say Boromir's a brat!

Laer4572: It's very hard to find Mini Nazguls now… But maybe Santa will find you one. Just be careful if it's stamped 'Miniature Witch King' on it's box, those tend to eat people. And read the handbook carefully!

Matrixelf: I never thought of using Tom and Goldberry. I'm glad you mentioned them. I wanted to make Tom like the fat foreign kid who eats candy all the time in The Simpsons…

Mesozoic Flower: Lemons rock.

Here comes the hockey puck: The guy's name was cactus? Oh… Um… What a… Strange name… I never heard of someone whose name was Cactus. I have heard of someone whose name was Adrain (literally pronounced 'a drain' because his parents did not know how to spell Adrian)… But Cactus?

Gods-Girl2004: Well, I stuck Erestor in a hula skirt, but he had no graham crackers. My friend's brother's name is Graham, and when she asked a kid in my class if he knew anyone called Graham the kid said 'Graham? Like the cracker?'… I shall make Tom waddle in the next chapter!

Surf all day and do the hula: Well; now there's two days! 1… 2… and then Gandalf-Claus!