Don't Wait Anymore
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi.
Author's Notes: Nakago's POV about Soi. Please read and review.
"Soi…"I was completely frozen staring at the scene before me. It's just a woman dying right in front of me. That woman just happened to be my fellow seishi…she just happened to be Soi. I couldn't explain but I could see what her eyes wanted to tell me…wanted me to remember.
That was seven years ago…It was when I first met her. Nothing more. We were very young then. She was forced to do something she didn't want to. And she reminded me of my mother and myself.
And I have already forgotten that moment…
How foolish she was to give her life to me! I already rejected her so she would stop following me…so she would give up her false hopes for us.
And I know there weren't us.
But I know…we know that we're somehow related with each other right from the moment I first saw her, the things she used to remind me, and the nights we often shared.
And those happened not because of love…But it was because of power and selfishness. She's just a tool to me…a toy. And I don't know why I'm still holding her and thinking of these things.
Am I holding on?No, it can't be! Not with her. She will never ever satisfy my desires. I know I mustn't hold on. I don't love her, right? And I already told that to her.
And I know I can't hold that back…Why am I thinking of these things? I guessed there are so many things I wanted to tell her…things that I wanted her to do. I wanted her to go away. She wouldn't benefit from this war. And I…I wouldn't need her…But it was little too late.
She's gone…
And it wasn't part of my plan. She deserved more. I wanted her to get what she deserves. And it wasn't me…I'm too evil to be worthy of her.
But I know that won't happen…But it must. I know it must. Maybe in next life, I can see her get what she wants. And maybe in that moment, she may not know me. And that is what I hope for…
But she is always waiting for me, right?No, she wouldn't do that this time. She must have realized how horrible person I am. That she loved a man like me…
But if ever…Soi, please don't wait for me anymore. I know I don't deserve someone like you…