Chapter Two: His confusion

"Why does your height bother you so much?" I fumed after almost ten minutes of being chased around the house by Ed. You think he would just give it up, get over it, be a man and not take it seriously. But he always had to get me back. Although when it came to actually hurting me he always backed out.

"Because I'm manly! It's insulting and I don't like being looked down on." Ed puffed over me on the bed, after tackling me down on to the mattress in his attempt to get back at me for calling him a midget. I secretly giggled at his compliment to himself and smiled. I breathed heavily under him and admired his state alchemist clock as it fell out of his pocket and landed on my stomach… oooo custom made things are so amazing. I want to pick it apart and find out everything about it. But ever since that day… don't forget 10. Oct. I don't know if I'll ever have the strength to stick my nose into Ed's clock again. It was wrong of me, and I saw things I shouldn't have seen, and for that, I apologized to him with all my heart. But in the middle of yelling at me I had began to cry so he instantly turned soft. That was Ed, he hated to admit it but he was a sucker for girls crying.

Edward noticed I was staring at his clock with amazement and rolled his eyes. "Ed I think you're perfect how you are." I replied with a small smile. He definitely wasn't weak, one reason being he was pinning me to the bed with just one arm and I still couldn't move.

"Winry…" Ed trailed off. "I used to think you worried about my machine parts more than me as a human." Ed laughed slightly at his comment and rolled off me to lie beside me on the bed.

I took this as an opportunity to examine his height, the leg was not right in height, as his leg had grown, and his auto-mail was quite a bit smaller than his right foot. I told him to sit still as I grabbed the measuring tape off the side table and sat at the end of the bed. Ed stared at me curiously but got the picture once I lifted the measuring tape up. He put his arm behind his head and relaxed. I started at his right leg to measure all parts, if it had grown wider, taller, how big his foot was and so on. I brought the measuring tape up his leg and crawled in between his legs as I measured the length. His same black pants covered his legs and I smiled widely, he really hadn't changed all that much.

When I looked down at him, he was once again in one of his 'dangerous' thinking moods as I liked to call them. There was no doubt who he was thinking about, and I stopped the measuring to stare at him with sadness. He didn't even notice that I had stopped and just continued to stare blankly at the white wall near us. I slowly climbed off the bed despite the fact I really wanted to hold him and sighed, this is how it would always be with him. I placed the measuring tape back on the bed side table and walked over to the door. "Have some rest, I should have your arm and leg done within a week and a bit, I'll give you a spare part for your arm and leg in the mean-time. Some time tonight okay?" I told him getting ready to close the door. He nodded in reply and all I could do was look at him sadly before I left the room in silence.

Two hours or so later he emerged from my room with a rejuvenated look to him. I held up the spare parts that I had conveniently lying around handy and pointed to his new arm which was already started. He frowned and walked up to the desk where I was working, and leaned over me as I worked on his arm. "It looks very different…" He started, his breath tickling my neck. Besides the fact having him lean over me made me tingle all over, I kept my emotions inside and gathered a reply to his question. "It's a new project; remember I told you I wanted to keep making your auto-mails better so you wouldn't be disadvantaged?" I looked up from my work to stare into his eyes, our faces barley inches apart. The memory of that conversation was not one I particularly associated with happiness, but it was one of those rare moments I let Ed know how much I really did care about him. Not that he had ever bothered to tell me.

"Winry…" Ed whispered with a blank look on his face. It was funny how often he said my name in times of confusion or deep flattery, it almost gave me the impression he liked saying my name. Maybe it was because he hadn't said it for so long.

"Ed…" I whispered moving closer to him. His hand clutched the edged of my seat as I leaned up closer to him. He looked like he was over-come with fear… like he was about to run away. But when I was just inches away from his face I grinned holding up his arm. If he thought he was going to run away from this he had another thing coming. He jumped back instantly shocked by my sudden movement and cursed under his breath.

"Winry! Are you trying to kill me? You almost shoved that stupid arm right through my head!" Ed complained rubbing the side of his cheek where the auto-mail had brushed past him.

"Sit down on the couch." He moved without a second command and sat himself down, bracing himself for what was to come next.

"I can't believe I have to go through this twice in a week." Edward sighed closing his eyes as I ran my fingers over his shoulder.

"Edward… you are broader shouldered… and look your hair is longer… four years… has been far too long." I said with sadness. Edward remained calm and watched me turn my back. The rain had started to pour heavily now and the constant thunder just added to the emotion of the moment. "I feel like I have missed out on so much of your life, do I even matter anymore?" I asked softly while walking up to the window. I placed my hand delicately on the window sill, cold from the storm and glanced out over the country side. I know what Ed was thinking… 'Women, one minute they're fine then the next minute they're all emotional' So maybe it's true… but sometimes you just noticed things that got you down.

"I had my reasons… like not wanting to get you mixed up with anything." Edward replied through strained teeth. He looked down and tensed his eyes shut. "I didn't think I should be around you, it's not your place."

That was the worst thing he could have ever said, and I felt my face tense instantly, my cheeks straight away heating with anger. I stomped my foot on the ground and turned around. Instead of throwing the wrench this time, I threw his arm at his head and stormed past the couch. "Connect it yourself; obviously your body isn't the only thing that's small!" I shouted. "You're heartless, brainless, and spineless, I HATE YOU!"

"Winry! WHAT THE HELL?" Ed yelled walking after me.

"You better think of what you just said Edward…" With that I shut my bedroom door hard and heard him grunt with frustration and walk away with the tap of the metal on the floor. I curled myself into a ball and heard him cry out with pain not too long after, obviously from connecting his auto-mail. His pain made me cringe and I burst out crying. I couldn't believe Ed had said what he had. What did he think of me? It wasn't my place? What kind of excuse was that? What the hell was I to him? He didn't even think high enough of me to let me make my own decisions! I swear I could scream right now, why did everyone think I was a child? Why didn't Ed tell me anything? Why? Why? Why? There were so many what if's, buts and why's running through my head, and I felt my tears glide down my cheeks effortlessly. Even with Ed here I realised I still felt like a lonely lost child.

In all my pain and desperation I hadn't noticed Edward creep into my room. "I'm sorry Winry." His hand came into contact with my bare shoulder and I suddenly lost all control. I looked up and made eye contact with him, and in that split second I saw something in his eyes that told me he would let himself be touched. So I instantly flung myself at him clinging to him for dear life. "Why do you have to cry…?" He asked stubbornly, keeping his hands limply at his side. I realised this could be quite awkward for him since I was still in my underwear. But I didn't care. I sobbed into his warm neck and clung to his hair and head desperately.

"Eddddd…." I sobbed in between hiccups. My patheticness made me want to laugh but I didn't care. He tensed after I called his name softly and tried to move his body further away. "Why? You left me; do you know how much I have been hurting?" My lips accidentally came into contact with his neck more than once, and every time I felt him flinch. "Ed you idiot!" I yelled lifting myself from his neck. "Is it so hard to hug me back? You haven't seen me for four years? Am I that disgusting? God I'm crying! You can't even pretend to care?" I fell back into his neck, deciding I didn't care if he reached out to me or not, it was nice enough just to feel his body up against mine, to feel his warmth after so long. I felt bad for spilling my tears all over him, but I really couldn't do anything but be near him right now, god I needed some human contact, without Granny I had been alone for almost 3 years and a half… could a woman really be blamed? After another minute of anguished filled tears I finally felt him wrap his arms around me. My body tingled with delight and I wondered why I was feeling this way with him. What did it mean? I didn't even know how I was feeling right now I was confused. I am confused, I'm upset, and longing for touch… maybe that's why.

I smiled into his neck and pulled the tie from his hair, running my fingers through it. I clutched to his soft golden hair, and wondered how Ed was coping with my over-flowing affection. He didn't seem to complain, but maybe he was just trying to comfort me, after all he had constantly upset me since his return. Maybe he felt guilty for the pain I was feeling, and he wasn't wrong in doing so.

I didn't know what I was feeling exactly, but suddenly I wanted to kiss him all over, thank God for him being here with me. I tried best to hold my desire to kiss him to myself, and continued to cry finding some comfort in my own sadness. But finally my lips placed a small and daring kiss at the base of his neck. I instantly heard him whisper my name cautiously, and I knew Edward had felt the difference. Before my lips had simply been pressed against his neck. But this time he knew I had kissed him boldly, and before he had time to run for his life I started again. I pushed my body against him and grabbed a bigger handful of his hair. I moved my whole body as I kissed his neck passionately. His hands had now dropped to his sides again, and I heard a sort of strained gulp from throat. I moved away slowly and stared into his eyes searching for emotions. All I saw there was confusion and curiosity. But when he noticed the look in my eyes… his slowly turned to eyes of panic.

I sat there for a few more seconds breathing heavily, feeling a few more tears glide down my face. I hesitated and thought on what I was about to do. But seriously nothing could hurt me anymore, and I decided I wanted his lips against mine. I suddenly moved forward partly closing my eyes just so I could see his reaction, only to feel him move his head back. He placed his hand in front of his mouth and let out a nervous sort of laugh.

"Hahahaha…" He laughed awkwardly moving his hand from his mouth to the back of his head to scratch it. I looked down with sadness as he continued to laugh strangely. I took it as another way of Ed trying to tell me he didn't think of me that way, but I wasn't even sure if I thought of him that way… After he saw me sulking over being rejected he became more serious. "Winry… you're upset, I don't think that this is a good idea."

What he said had a good point, and I guessed that it was best to see if this was just some strange kind of feeling due to being alone for so long, or because I was so upset, I was confused myself. I wondered how poor Ed was feeling. A little while ago I was throwing stuff at his head and saying I hated him, now I was coming onto him more strongly than I could have ever imagined. "Besides ha-ha you don't want to regret anything you did with a midget right? Ha-ha" Ed laughed nervously. It was the first time I had heard him diss his own height to make me feel better. I nodded sadly but couldn't find the strength to look into his eyes.

"How's the spare part?" I asked staring at the design on my bed spread I didn't know if what I was feeling was quite embarrassment, rather shame, and despite being a strong individual I still could not look Ed in the eye.

"Ahhh yeah it's feels great for just spare parts." Ed commented punching through the air beside him.

"That's good." I replied sadly realising our bodies were still close together. I moved away from him reluctantly, missing the warmth of his body as soon as I had. But it seemed to relax Ed a little more so I didn't bother trying to cuddle next to him again.

"Yeah you are a great auto-mail engineer Winry." Ed said, while nervously laughing again.

"Aren't you being too nice?" I side glanced him with my eyes squinted together. He immediately returned his arm to the back of his head and shut his eyes with nervous chatter.

"I'm always nice." He said in a strained voice. "Ha-ha, ha-ha haha"
I sighed with frustration and raised myself from my bed.

"I'm still angry at you for what you said. That you think I can't make my own decisions, that you distanced yourself from me because I didn't have any business in your business, but what you don't realise Ed is I do. If you really didn't want to hurt me, you never would have left…" I said in a soft voice. Ed's awkward behavior suddenly stopped, and I saw guilt start to swirl through his eyes. I couldn't be bothered getting angry at him now, after all it was in the past, but deep down I would never forgive him. "Look don't worry about it, I know you only care about yourself anyway... it's late I think I should get some sleep so I can work one your auto-mail well tomorrow." Ed stared up at me with both shock and dismay. He would have never thought that I would have said what I just did, but I didn't care anymore.

He stood up from my bed and threw me one last look of hurt or even betrayal then slammed the door to my bedroom. I sighed almost instantly and glanced out the window while the rain came down hard, as it poured, like I had just poured my heart out to Ed.

I removed my singlet shirt but left my underpants on. Feeling completely relaxed as I crawled under the covers. I knew what I had said to Ed was a little hard. With everything he had been through, and now loosing his brother… He was right when he said that I didn't understand what he was going through at all. But he wasn't the only one who had lost something. I had lost almost everything, and I wondered how he would like it if I started distancing myself, because if I did, our relationship would diminish. We were both stubborn like that. Whenever we were together it was almost a competition to see who could hold out the longest without speaking. Ed was always the winner, and it had always given me the impression he didn't like me. So I usually started the conversation with him, which was fine, but in all aspects of our friendship I had to push it further, ask more about him, and listen to his actions instead of his words, since his words were so few. I didn't know where I stood with Edward, and it drove me absolutely completely insane.

I rolled over to stare at the rain pouring down and turned my small lamp off. There were more worried thoughts about Edward before the rain lulled me gently to sleep.
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Stand Up and Walk Forward
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I awoke up far too early for the time I had gone to bed that morning, but I guessed it was because my body was so excited to work on Ed's auto-mail that I couldn't stay asleep. I slipped on some less revealing clothes than yesterday and tied my long blonde hair up in a high pony tail to keep the hair out of my face while I worked.

I ran to the auto-mail operating table and began straight away.
"Alright." I tightened a few screws and began getting the artificial nerves ready. But before I could get any further my mind fell to Ed and my head turned to his door, which was slightly open. I placed my current work gently down on the table and walked over to his room cautiously, my bare feet making small sounds as they patted against the floor. My bad side got the better of me and I peaked through the crack in his door. There was Ed, up already at 4 in the morning, reading books like crazy. There were books scattered all over his room and great amounts of research paper all over his bed, and I started to doubt if he had even gone to sleep at all. This angered me greatly and I stomped away into the kitchen, how would he ever grow if he didn't get his sleep?

The kinder side of me then took over and I decided to cook breakfast for him. So I immediately began pulling out things I knew he loved. Eggs, if I did them scrambled I could get away with putting some milk in there. Rice, well he would eat 1000 bowls of rice if he had the chance, and last of all some ham. I decided I was going to make nice fried rice for him and myself. I really couldn't be bothered with the tidbits, it was just plain breakfast. But he needed his protein and MILK!

I pulled out all the ingredients and laid them out over the bench. The rice was the first thing, and I waited till the water was boiled and carefully placed the rice in.
While that was cooking I placed the eggs in a bowl and mixed them with milk. Knowing Ed… he would eat a lot, so I tried my best to make large amounts.
When I had finally cooked the meat I brought them all together nicely and placed a huge bowl of rice in the middle, just in case Ed wanted seconds, thirds, or maybe even 100ths.

Like a moth to the flame Edward instantly stuck his head out the door sniffing the air. "Something smells good." I heard him mumble to himself.

"Ed… I cooked something for you." I yelled in a sweet voice.

"RICEEEE?" I heard him shout. "It's rice!" He began running with his hands up in the air towards the meal. "Rice, rice, rice, RICE!" He must be starving. When he reached the table his hands clutched either side of the it. "So this is what I smelled earlier." Edward said, his face suddenly becoming one of upstate.

"What don't you like it?" I replied with hurt. After slaving over the stove for the past 30 minutes, then he told me he didn't like it, where the hell was my wrench?

"No it's the milk." Edward said pointing to the glass of milk.
I instantly relaxed and smiled as I watched Ed dig into his meal. He ate the whole bowl in the middle then asked if I had anymore as well.

"Ed I think that's enough." I told him when he begged me to cook something more. "Did you even get any sleep last night?" I glared at him strongly and I knew he wouldn't dare lie.

"Well you see… ha-ha" He replied and I didn't bother asking again. I wasn't going to annoy him and be his mother, but there was one thing I would always pressure him about.

"Edward, you left the milk." I said my eyes becoming dangerous as they turned into slits.

"Winry thanks for the meal, it was great I really appreciate it." He got up from his seat, and attempted to run right out of the dining room but I grabbed his braid and pulled him back.

"Ed…" I said dangerously low.

"Please don't make me drink it." He said with a pleading look in his eyes.
I grabbed the milk from the table and shoved it in his hands only to have it shoved back again.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! MILK'S GOOD FOR YOU DRINK IT!"

"NO! I HATE WHAT I HATE! I WONT DIE IF I DON'T DRINK MILK."

"IT'S GOOD FOR YOU DRINK IT!"

"I HATE IT!"

"ED! DO YOU WANT TO STAY A MIDGET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?"

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"OH I GIVE UP NO WONDER YOUR AS SMALL AS A BEAN!" I slammed the milk down on the table with a dangerous look in my eyes once again. Ed immediately calmed down and gulped.

"A bean?" He asked sadly. Had he still not accepted the facts?

"Hai, hai, a bean." I said standing on my tippee toes to pat him on the head. He sat there in a sulk tensing his fists with rage over my constant insults.

"MACHINE FREAK!" He shouted when I sat back down and started to admire my new auto-mail currently being made.

"What's it to you? Short ALCHEMY FREAK!" I replied, shouting over him louder than I ever had, waving the wrench up and down in his face, warning him that he had better not try my patience.

"WINRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" and the chasing around the house began.

Saturn Stars