Chapter Eleven: Her Confession

I thanked the woman for the meal and slightly tipped her (the more gentlemenly side of me was showing through tonight), side glancing Winry in the mean-time with worry. She was currently folding out every crease in her skirt and tapping her feet quickly with un-ease. I placed my hand on her back and lead her outside slowly, hoping to ease her nervousness, but it only became worse. She started to walk forward quickly, a pace I didn't know I could keep up with for two long, due to the steady speed she was gaining. What was up with the woman?

After a while of following her zig zagging through the newly rebuilt streets. She abruptly stopped underneath a tall tree and sat down with a slight whimper. I panted for breath and watched as she shook. I was staring at her with bafflement. I suddenly noticed the beautiful full moon above us and gazed at its wonder. Maybe something like this would calm her down.

"Its a full moon tonight just like you said..." I grinned turning back to look at her. At this comment she let out another whimper and what seemed to be sniffs escaped her. I had started to become extremely worried and ran over to the bench where she sat. I sat next to her and placed my hands on her shoulders urgently. "WINRY!" I yelled trying to make her snap out of it. The hell? If she kept worrying me like this I would be the one collapsing into a nervous breakdown.

"Ed!" She looked up at me, her eyes gleaming in the moonlight. I tried not to blush at the beauty of her face and looked away. Something else however caught my attention, her eyes were gleaming yes. They were gleaming with something I wished her eyes weren't gleaming with. Fear, complete fear. Her face was riddled with it, and it only had affect on me. "It's because I have to tell you!" Winry whispered shakily, looking down at her thighs with a sudden urgency.

"Oh right… I forgot about that…" I laughed leaning back onto the seat with relief. So she was nervous about telling me something? Something probably like going through my personal items and finding out another one of my secrets… I didn't know why she was so upset… I'd be angry but I'd get over it. She knew I was a sucker for her. She could manipulate me and she knew it. So why was she so worried?

"You're not going to like it at all." She whispered with a tiny frightened voice. "You'll probably run for your life and never want to see me again." Once again she tensed her fists into balls on her thighs and I once again become worried.

"You…! what did you do…?" I said in a low voice starting to worry myself.

"BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU!" She stood up with determination on her face. "I can't hold it inside anymore… it hurts so much I think I might die… do you know what it's like to bottle something up inside for so many years you feel it slowly eating away at your life?" She whispered looking down to the ground. Well I didn't really really… I don't. I stood up and moved closer to her, having no idea what she could possibly be talking about. But it did slightly remind me of the situation with mother, she had felt so upset and had longed for father, that it slowly ate away at her life. For that I would never forgive him. "Full moon, it's my only chance, I can't keep it inside any longer." She yelled suddenly. I flinched and looked at her with understanding eyes. I nodded my head at her with a stern face, letting her know that I understood, that I would listen.

"Winry just tell me, I promise I will do my best not to upset you with my reaction." I said with a small smile, brushing the hair out of her face reassuringly. "I really had a good time tonight… please don't be upset."

She looked up and leaned her cheek against my hand slightly closing her eyes. She sighed heavily. "Here I go… Ed I'm in love with some-one." She said softly. I instantly dropped my hand and it hung limply at my side. The night had became suddenly still. I didn't feel the gentle breezes kiss my cheeks or hair anymore. I couldn't feel the moonlights rays. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

"Is that so?" I asked my face slightly tensing. I wanted to feel happy for her, but at the same time I was extremely jealous that some other man was going to be stealing Winry away from me. The only person I had left, I had wanted to marry her since I was five afterall. "Well? What are you going to do about it, does he know?" I question in the most sympathetic voice I could. Bastard! Let me at him! No-one could ever possibly get my approval to be with her, no-one was good enough.

"No…" She sighed. "I'll just be rejected."

I sort of liked the end bit, but my face twisted with mock horror and I stamped my foot. Romance talks weren't really my thing, but I'd do it for Winry… she slept with me last night… "Don't be stupid, if he rejects you… then he is just some jerk not worth your time." I said hotly. I didn't know how I could stand here and encourage her. I had felt something so incredibly beautiful when I had awoken to her warmth and soft touch. She had slept by my side, clinging to me affectionately, and now she was trying to tell me she loved some random man I didn't even know? Winry just shook her head.

"Well he is a jerk." Winry replied tensing her fists into a ball. "He still hasn't noticed… he doesn't even care about me enough… I know I'll be rejected but if I don't tell him soon…" Winry looked away her fingers slowly uncurling.

"Look, I'll tell you what, go ahead and tell him, and if he rejects you I'll beat him up okay? Punch him with my fist!" I grinned evilly holding up my metal arm. Winry looked up with sadness in her eyes and flinched slightly.

"Better start bashing yourself up then, saves me the trouble of confessing to you." Winry looked away with shame, and I just cocked one of my eyebrows in confusion.

"Huh, why would I want to bash myself—" I started scratching my head in confusion.

But I was instantly cut off by Winry.

"For someone so smart you're terribly thick aren't you?" Winry snapped, turning her head to me angrily. I frowned once again and froze as I saw the mixed emotions in her eyes… directed, directly at me.

"Ed… I love you…"

"...?" (My intelligent reply to her statement)

Okay so what happened next you ask?

Well I'll skip straight to the part were I wished time would freeze so I could have time to think and breathe over what she had just said. But time didn't freeze, and I just stood there completely blank trying to process those three complicated words. While she stood there growing more and more desperate with each passing second that I stood in silence. I didn't want to leave her with silence so I shook my head, blinking a few times and parted my lips.

"Sorry could you please repeat that?" The tears now started to flow uncontrollably down her cheeks at my reaction and I took a step forward only for her to take one back. "Winry… look I didn't…" I sighed rubbing my face with frustration. This was an extremely complicated situation and there had to be a mistake somewhere in the fine print. "Winry you don't really love me, it's probably because of the shock of loosing everyone and having only me left… I have been thinking of you closely as well, but you don't really feel that Winry… I uh... I can just forget you said it and we can be on our way right?" I flashed her a smile and heard sharp gasps escape from her throat as her sobs loudened. I opened my eyes and stared back at her intensely. She kept stepping back, while shaking her head, as if she wasn't believing what I had just said and I took a step forward again reaching out my hand with regret. I was here for her. I was.

"You really are a jerk aren't you?" She said with disbelief raising her hands in front of her. She fetched something from her pocked mumbling cruel words as she did so, which left me standing their completely broken. "Telling me what I feel now… that's got to go into the records book." She hiccuped. "I'm just a stupid girl Ed, that's all I am to you." I took a step forward again with hurt in my eyes, but wasn't able to find any other words, damn the words. She stepped back again shaking her head while searching frantically through the coins in her purse.

"I'm so stupid." She sobbed. "I went and fell in love with the biggest jerk in the world!" Finally she found what she was looking for and un-crumpled the paper in her hand. "I'll try my best not to hurt you with my reaction, yeah right! You arsehole!" She laughed madly imitating my voice. All I could do was stand there and watch the whole drama unfolding in front of my very own eyes; I think that she had literally broken my heart in two, or had I broken hers? I finally made out the paper to be a large amount of money and my eyes widened. "I'm pathetic." She sobbed. "I don't know why I bothered." She chucked the paper down at my feet and began crying even harder. Her tears froze me to the spot and I looked down at the money with fear all over my face. I started to shake violently all over.

"Winry…" I said through my own trembling voice. Why couldn't I goddamn say something, just say something!

"Ed just let me tell you, that you don't know what it feels like." Winry cringed holding her arms as the cool night air brushed past us. Everything in this creepy environment was adding to the horrible moment I wished had never happened. "To want someone's touch constantly, but know they are never going to touch you. To want someone so intensely… but you know they are never going to want you… to feel for someone so much… to be around them hurts you, looking at them hurts you… the pain…" She sank to her knees and dropped her head. "I'm going to die…" I stood there silently not exactly knowing what to think about her words, but I couldn't help but blush. The confession was really too much.

"And I have loved you for so long… THAT'S WHY I HATE YOU! You idiot! You never noticed or paid any attention to me, and I was left without you for four years… I learned to channel my feelings for you into hate, because it was the only other feeling that was strong enough… there is the money for dinner." She stood up and straightened herself. She coughed suddenly and wiped her tears. Like everything was suddenly okay. What didn't mean I was. I was frozen to the point I couldn't speak.

"Well Edward… nice to know that I didn't really feel that for all those years, you're completely right Edward… because you know everything don't you? Good-bye." She turned on her heel with much trouble, her hard sobs pounding in my ears. But I regained the feeling in my legs just in-time and ran after her grabbing her arm.

"Winry…"

"LET GO OF ME!" She struggled cursing about not having her wrench on her. "Jerk!"

My gaze turned to one of pleading and I moved closer to her. "Please come back with me."

She turned her head to return my gaze with equal hopelessness and after a long moment of studying the absolute need in my eyes, she nodded her head in understanding and turned with me to head back to our current home.

She walked behind me silently the soft sound of her footsteps on the ground was the only thing I could hear in the dead of the night. Somehow they didn't sound as happy before. Before the sound of her heels clicking infront of me had filled me with a sort of peace. Now the soft click of her heels behind me, sent shivers down my spine. It sounded like the sound of a strong woman who had given up hope. Everything that had happened seemed like a sort of dream, I couldn't remember properly. It was fuzzy and un-believable… Winry loving me… how the hell could she love me? She was right I was the biggest jerk in the world… I didn't have the slightest clue about what she had been holding inside of her.

I looked back at her constantly to make sure she hadn't run away from me. I had no idea why she stayed with me when I could never give her what she wanted in fear of hurting her. But I was grateful she stayed with me, because I needed her so desperately it was killing me inside.

When we reached the military base it was fairly deserted and the people that were bustling about all stared at us in confusion. No-one said a word; they knew something had happened between us...

I lead Winry into the room, locking the door and turning to look at her as she kicked off her shoes slowly. Her graceful hair bounced with energy despite the fact she looked like her life was slowly being drained from her. And I stood there with a heart-broken expression twisted with agony as I observed her quietly. "I'm taking a shower." She said softly, continuing to not make eye contact with me.

"U-un" I stuttered running my hands through the hair falling down over my face. I watched her walk into the shower as if it were going to be the last time I saw her, and quickly called out her name. She froze and turned her head a little. "Uh…" I clapped my hands together and sighed. "When you come out you can take out my hair if you want." I exclaimed happily, trying to make it up to her in any possible way I could. "Or we can talk or something." I said nervously.

"It's okay why don't you get some rest, that's what you would prefer to do anyway isn't it?" Winry said coldly shutting the bathroom door with a slam after she entered.

"Hey…" I said with frustration. "She makes me look like a monster, honestly!" I said to myself. "Besides I do like it when she plays with my hair." I huffed folding my arms stubbornly. Well why don't you tell her that you idiot?

Once the shower had started I heard Winry going for it again. I fell onto the bed with a sigh, almost wanting to break down myself at the sound of her echoing tears of sadness from the bathroom. What had it done to her? They said love left you helpless, depending on another person for life. It could be something that took you to heaven or damned you to hell, and I can't believe that I had this effect on Winry. Winry was strong and independent I didn't like seeing her cry over anything let alone me.

I closed my eyes with a strained face trying my hardest to fall asleep through the sound of her heart wrenching sobs.

"Mr. Edward Elric Sir"

…silence…

"Mr. Edward Elric Sir"

…what's that banging sound?...

"Mr. Edward Elric Sir" "Knock knock"

…Winry tell them to shut up…

"MR. EDWARD ELRIC I AM ABOUT TO BARGE IN AND IT'S YOUR FAULT IF I SEE ANYTHING I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO!"

I instantly jumped up from the bed checking it for any signs of Winry and sighed with relief. My eyes then widened as the memories of last night came flooding back to me. I blushed instantly as the officer barged into the room. "What do you want?" I asked in an annoyed tone. The woman looked quite relieved to see everything was relatively normal and sighed.

"We have found something very important in the papers, Colonel Mustang has ordered you to come meet him in his office right away… with Miss. Winry." I listened to her and nodded with frustration. Something important… I bet it's something stupid…

"Alright we will be there soon, Winry did you hear that?" I yelled standing up from the bed and rubbing my eyes… no answer. "Huh Winry?" I opened my eyes wider suddenly noticing she was nowhere to be seen. "Winry?" I looked under the bed's blanket covers to make sure she wasn't there. "Winry?" I then checked under mine just in case. "Winry?" I ran around the room checking in millions of places including under the beds, under the tables, even on the freaking roof. "Winry? Winry! WINRY!" I started to become frantic and glared at the officer standing there with a worried expression on her face. "What are you doing get someone out searching for her she might have gone somewhere on base!" I yelled angrily stomping my foot with frustration. I didn't have time to put up with stupidity.

"Yes Full Metal Sir right away." She said frantically exiting my room, shutting the door behind her with a loud thud. I called out Winry's name desperately a few more times before sinking to my knees. In my desperation my eyes feel to the bathroom door which was still closed. I peered at it curiously and rose to my feet. I knocked on it frantically, hearing the soft trickle of water beyond the door, so soft, I could barely hear it.

"Winry are you in there doing your hair or something? Because we have to get to Roy." I yelled pounding on the door, talking to her as if she was there. She was there, I had to believe it, loosing her wasn't an option. That's why romance made everything complicated, if she was going to leave me now because of what happened I swear I would never love another ever again. "Winry please answer!" I called desperately leaning against the door with a worried sob. "I'm coming in okay so don't get angry…" I turned the door knob slowly with a great gasp for air. A large amount of steam exited the room. I instantly panicked as I heard the softest trickle of the shower water and ran into the room with fear. Sure enough I could see Winry through the fogged up shower glass lying on the floor lifelessly.

"Winry!" I shouted with panic, grabbing a towel instantly, so I wouldn't have to look upon her naked body. But once I opened the shower door, I instantly dropped the towel, having no time to think about anything but helping her. She was lying on her side, her hair sprawled out behind her, and arms out in front of her. The shower water was hitting her thigh and had left a red mark from constantly coming down onto her soft skin all night. I leaned over to turn the shower water off and kicked off my boots, jumping into the slightly flooded shower, since Winry was covering the drain. "Winry…" I cried lifting her up to my body. Despite the fact warm water and been splashing onto her thighs, her body was extremely cold and I instantly wrapped my arms around her.

"Wake up Winry." I said desperately, shaking her in my grasp. But she didn't, and I could barley hear the soft sound of her breathing in my ear. I picked her up in my arms and dressed her with the bathrobe that hung over the shower. "You really are beautiful Winry." I muttered under my breath. I placed her into the bed bringing the covers up over her and stroked her face gently. "I think you just need to get some rest… but I'll have some-one check you out, don't worry, not some perverted male." I smiled brushing the hair from her face. "You better not get sick on me Winry."

"Full Metal she was no-where to be found." The woman said barging through the door. I looked up at her and motioned for her to be quiet.

"I'm going to see what that bastard Roy wants, please watch over Winry and if anything out of the ordinary happens please contact the nurses. I'll pay you for your services just make sure she is awake before I get back, otherwise I don't know what I will do to you or this whole military base. Also this is obviously a result of her being over-worked, we are going to re-discuss the work hours when I get back." I said dangerously, slamming the door. I walked through the base with an aggravated look on my face. Roy had better not piss me off. A lot of people were casting worried glances in my direction, and so they should be, I was just about to take down this whole fucking building and everyone in it if one more thing went wrong.

"What the fuck do you want ROY?" I asked slamming his office door open.

"My, in a bad mood aren't we, is it true you and the young miss are engaged?" Roy said calmly intertwining his fingers.

"IS THAT WHAT YOU CALLED ME HERE FOR?" I yelled in frustration turning around to return to Winry.

"I do believe I called for the young Miss as well." He said raising his tone as well. "I have business to discuss with you two and this romance better not get in the way!" Roy said slamming his papers down on the desk.

"She's just my auto-mail mechanic, and they are just rumours. Can we please get to the point Winry is really sick and I want to go help her." I said calmly almost accepting the fact I was going to be annoyed over this issue for as long as I worked under Roy.

"I see then, here." He passed me a piece of paper which was slightly ruined from what seemed to be a fire, it was crumpled and slightly ripped I looked up at Roy with confusion.

"What's this?" I said flattening it on his desk so I could make out the words.

"We found it on-board the Zeppelin, thought you would find some interest in it." Roy said with a slight smirk on his face.

I held the paper in my hand and began scanning the letters on the paper. My eyes suddenly widened and I glanced back up at Roy with shock. "Al…" I said almost on the verge of tears.

"That's right Ed, and now that we know this we need both you and your girlfriend's co-operation to build this thing." Roy said firmly, telling me that this was indeed an order.

"Who found this?" I asked abruptly holding the paper tightly in my hand.

"A man that goes by the name of Russel who is currently researching something with his younger brother in Xenotime (Sp? Lol once again only have the Japanese version)" Roy raised his eyebrows. "The young boy from the red water business."

I tensed my fists. "How long ago was he here how did he find it?" I questioned.

"He is part of the military he is interested in the Zeppelins. I believe he found it while looking around the crash site, however he returned the day before yesterday." Roy told me fiddling with his gloves.

"How long have you had this? And kept it a secret from me?" I yelled angrily.

"That doesn't matter Full Metal one it would do you good not to dwell on these things."

"I'm going to visit him, it should take about two days. Tell Winry that I'll be back as soon as possible. And tell her that I am sorry when she wakes up, she will understand." I ran out the door through the people crowding around the office door. This was it, this was my clue and I couldn't back out now.

Saturn Stars