Chapter Fourteen: Their Last Reasoning
If someone asked me what would have to be the best night of my life, I would have had to say, last night. If someone asked me what was your best awakening, I would have to say, being awoken by Edward shifting slightly on my stomach.
I opened my eyes lazily, noticing the sun was not yet out. It was definitely early in the morning. I had my hands still wedged in between Edward's hair, and he was still sleeping peacefully on my lower stomach. I had my legs slightly wrapped around him. One was resting on his back, and the other resting over his thigh. I felt his breath against my stomach, the soft gentle steady continuation of his breathing. My arm was reaching down my stomach, hand dug into his soft golden hair. He had his auto mail reaching up over my stomach, his hand placed over my elbow clinging to me slightly. His other hand was firmly underneath the arch in my back, and I wondered if he was still going to have feeling in it when he woke up. His coat still covered me and I must have survived the night due to the warmth it and Edward brought. But underneath, I had nothing but my underwear on, and feeling my bare skin against Edwards… I think was something I had longed for since I was little. It was hard to tell when you had felt like this since you could remember.
I remembered when he was five Al and Edward approached me about who was going to marry me in the future. I never felt that way for Al so I just plainly rejected him, and Edward… he was shorter than me. I didn't want to go out with a guy that was shorter than me! But as the years passed on I grew more and more attached to Edward. The fact that he was short totally vanished from my mind. This brought me to another question; did that really happen last night? I closed my eyes with a grin. Yes it did, the alchemist sleeping on my stomach is proof. I sighed luxuriously wondering whether Riza would mind if Ed and I skipped work today, because I didn't see myself getting up at all.
I had obviously fallen asleep again, as I was awoken by the pressure and warmth being lifted from my stomach. I let out a sound of confusion and annoyance while opening my eyes to see Edward sitting up, rubbing his face drowsily. The sun was now out and Edward looked down at me and instantly blushed looking away. "Winry put some clothes on!" Edward said hastily looking down at my exposed legs which were still lightly wrapped around him.
"Eh?" I said with a confused expression while sitting up. "Why?"
"Because you can't just…" He instantly gasped as I placed my head on his shoulder, pushing my stomach up against his back.
"What's the time?" I whispered into his ear, kissing his shoulder softly. He let out a sound of fear and instantly leaned forward grabbing the pocket watch from his black pants that were scattered somewhere on the bed.
"Uh! We are an hour behind work! We slept in!" He cursed instantly shaking me off him. I grinned as I watched him get out of bed, grabbing his pants and pulling them up over his legs. He stepped closer, reaching over behind me to grab his belt with a never-ending blush. But when he leaned over me, I instantly reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, falling back down onto the bed and bringing him down with me. "WINRY!" Ed whined grabbing fists full of my hair and squeezing it with irritation.
"Ohhhhh, come back to bed with me." I moaned, holding around his neck tightly with my arms.
"Well technically I am in bed with you now." He mumbled.
"Then stay in bed all day, let's kiss." I said playfully. He lifted his head to stare at me with furious eyes. So I leant up and pecked him on the lips quickly. Stop being so grumpy. He then stubbornly looked away with his eyes as if he was trying to ignore me. So I did it again. I did it many times while giggling till he finally moved his eyes back to lock with mine and sighed with defeat. Within seconds he was kissing me passionately, his hands pinning mine to the bed above my head.
"Winry!" He said pulling away suddenly. "Stop doing that, this is stupid!" He yelled with frustration as he shook himself free. He once again stood up and started putting his belt on. I turned on my side and watched him while resting my head on my hand.
"Doing what?" I asked innocently watching as he huffed something under his breath.
"Making me kiss you!" He yelled grabbing his shirt which I was playing with between my feet. When he was finally done he stared at me with annoyance. Shutting his eyes and holding out his hand, I was confused until he motioned with his fingers to give back what was his.
"Give it back Winry." He said dangerously.
"Oh this?" I said pointing to his coat. "But I like it." I sulked. He once again repeated what he said and I poked my tongue out at him. "If you want it come and get it!" I giggled falling down onto the bed. "All you have to do is kiss here." I pointed to the part of my body that I wanted him to caress with his lips. The only reaction I got was a stubborn blush.
"Fine I won't wear it then." He said angrily. He put on his gloves and straightened his black coat. "You better end up showing, I need you for this project don't lie in bed all day." He then turned away with an aggravated sigh and started to braid his hair.
"Why do you have to be so stubborn? I thought you said you were going to stop?" I replied, fumbling with the sheets. "Where the hell is my wrench?" Ed backed away slightly and completed his hair. He then left the room without another word. Leaving me slightly upset and confused.
I finally went to join the rest of the group, watching the project move along smoothly, or should I say… that it hadn't moved along at all. I kept Ed's coat on just for revenge so the military would start to talk. Just to Ed's discomfort they did exactly that as soon as I walked into the room. Ed looked up from the papers and blushed instantly, digging his head back into the work. Once again ignoring me.
"What are you all staring at get back to work!" I yelled. The coat was un-buttoned since I had my green shirt and short black skirt on underneath and I observed the progress which was next to nothing. "HONESTLY!" I yelled at Edward snatching the papers from his hands. "YOU SLACK OFF WHEN I'M NOT AROUND. YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING BUT PRETENDING TO READ PAPERS!" I yelled practically freezing the whole room with my voice. Didn't he tell me he wanted to stop this anyway? Wasn't it selfish to create a weapon?
"MAYBE IF YOU HAD STOPPED BEING LAZY AND GOTTEN THE BOTH OF US UP WE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMEWHERE!" He replied back pulling on my coat.
"YOU DID WAKE ME UP PLENTLY OF TIMES WITH ALL YOUR STUPID TOSSING AND TURNING ON MY STOMACH! CAN'T YOU SLEEP STILL?" I yelled back kicking him in the shin, pulling the coat back that he was trying to rip off me.
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!" He argued. "GIVE IT BACK IT'S MINE!"
"YOU SEEMED TO LIKE IT ON ME LAST NIGHT YOU JERK!" I yelled back, once again slapping his hand away.
"HOW COULD I NOT? BUT GIVE IT BACK NOW. EVERYONE CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE WEARING MY COAT AND THEY ARE PROBABLY THINKING SOMETHING THEY SHOULDN'T BE!" He said angrily. Our current arguing and fighting stopped when Riza put herself between the two of us.
"Not only do the Military have eyes and see that she is wearing your coat, we also have ears you two, and would appreciate if you kept your love life private!" Riza said with a sigh pulling both of us by the ears. "Kiss and make-up then let's get on with the work." She pushed us both together and I just grinned.
"How about it Edward?" I asked sweetly.
"We don't have a love life!" Edward retorted turning his head and crossing his arms over his chest. "Give my coat back."
I flinched at this and looked back at him with saddened eyes. I smiled weakly at him and turned to the soldiers. "You are doing it all wrong, you have to put this there and that here, other wise we will get it mixed up because they look exactly the same to the untrained eye." I said softly, the team members noticed I was upset and nodded frantically. "If we ever get it to fly, we are going to need hydrogen has anyone gotten on that case?"
"ROY MUSTANG HAS MISS!" A soldier shouted from the crowed. I smiled despite the fact nothing was going right and looked away. This was a hopeless cause in the current used state I felt like I was in. Edward then backed me into a corner and sighed.
"Winry would you just give it back?" He said with annoyance. I looked at the busy life of the soldiers running about and ignored Ed. "I promise tonight you can wear it again okay?" Edward said looking away.
"Ed… what am I to you?" I asked softly the sound of my own tears coming on. "Did you enjoy last night? Because I specifically remember you kissing me back or was that just me?" I inquired looking down. He grunted with frustration and tensed his fists.
"It's complicated!" He replied, moving away from me slightly.
"No I believe it's quite simple really, I get it. At night time I'm just gunna be your thing to play around with right?" I said with a small smile, tears flowing down my cheeks. Riza was watching us out of the corner of her eye, but I wanted her to see this.
"Winry that's not true and you know it!" Ed said angrily.
"If it's not true then kiss me, here in front of everyone." I looked down and let my hands drop to my sides the tears becoming too shameful to let Edward look upon. But his reaction was merely looking away from me with a defeated look.
"LOOK, IT WAS A MISTAKE OKAY!" He suddenly yelled out. Riza widened her eyes with shock and I think the whole military base had heard him shout that at me. They probably instantly knew what 'Mistake' he was referring to also. The look in his eyes was dangerous and fatal, something I had never seen him look at me with me before. That's when I decided that I was through with this.
I wiped the tears from my eyes with a slight giggle. "I see." I said to him watching as he looked up with pained eyes. "Ed?"
"Yeah what…?" He said softly, obviously regretting his sudden outburst.
"I'm just going back to the room for a second to get my toolbox." I tried to say as cheerfully as I could. He seemed greatly relieved suddenly and nodded his head.
"Sure, but come back quickly, we need you out here." He said with a smile, turning around back to the rest. Riza watched me with sadness as I planted a fake smile and stormed out into the hallway.
Once I was out of that place I ran to the room full speed, feeling like I could just scream the whole place down. Does anyone know what it's like to hurt behind closed doors?. I felt like a thousand needles were stabbing into me slowly numbing me to death. The happiest moment of my life suddenly felt like the last day of my life. I collapsed onto the bed and began to cry harder than I had ever cried holding the coat to me greedily.
"JERK JERK JERK!" I yelled bashing the bed violently. "HOW COULD HE!" I knew Edward was bad, but this was the absolute lowest a man could stoop. Playing with my emotions, he knew how I felt about him, yet he went ahead and did it anyway. It was only because he was upset and needed someone to take all his stress out on. I was just there, just available. I cried helplessly wondering if one day something or some-one would notice the pain I had held inside so long. No-one ever would. I was going to be alone from now on; never would I touch another human again. I looked around the room at the many items that had accumulated from our stay here messily thrown about.
I knew what I had to do to maintain whatever happiness and sanity I had left hiding inside of me.
"Edward… Winry has been an awful long time for just grabbing her tool box…" Riza reminded me. I scratched the back of my head and sighed.
"Right and nothing is really happening without her… apart from re-locating materials. I'll go fetch her, probably fell asleep." I muttered walking out the door. "I shouldn't be too long."
"Edward… if you don't mind me asking… Winry seemed terribly upset." Riza said quickly before I walked out the door.
"That's none of your business." I told her. "It's no-ones business."
"If you hurt that girl it happens to be my business, since she is a very good friend of mine."
"She is fine! Didn't you see her before? I'll be right back." I said hastily.
"Edward…" I froze and turned my head slightly, letting her know this was the last amount of attention I was going to give her. "Winry isn't a child anymore, she is a woman, she needs love, affection and attention. You can act like a child when it's convenient for you, start acting like a man."
I mumbled a 'whatever' leaving the room and not giving her speech another thought. Something I regret.
I walked down the hallway with my fingers stuffed angrily into my pockets. "What the hell have you been doing Winry?" I muttered to myself. I turned to open the door and was greeted by the site of Winry running around the room frantically. "Winry? What the hell are you doing?" I asked stepping into the room.
"Oh Ed!" She laughed nervously, hiding the obvious suitcase behind her back. I glanced around the room in confusion and my eyes then stopped on her. I raised my eyebrows at her.
"Are we going somewhere?" I asked with curiosity, as I noticed her suitcase was almost packed full of the stuff I had bought for her since we had been here. "...the hell... Winry?"
"If you mean am I going somewhere? Then the answer is yes, I am going back home…" She replied turning to place the suitcase on the bed, she then opened it and continued to pack a little slower now. "I was hoping to save you the trouble of saying goodbye but I guess I had no such luck hey?" She said with a glare evident in her eyes but the fakest smile on her face I had ever seen.
"But why so suddenly?" I asked with panic. "I need you here for the project!" I yelled watching the tears spill over her eyes.
"Yes I know you need me for that Edward, but I'm sick of being used." She replied.
"What used? Who is using you?" I asked, taking a step towards her cautiously.
"Hmmm let's see the last time I checked… it seemed to be you… yes I think that's correct, using me, oh using me so well Edward. You really get everything you need from me don't you, comfort, some-one you can be with during the night to feel whole once again. Yet someone you can discard during the day around your work mates like some piece of trash. You toyed with me, you know how I feel yet you went ahead anyway. The only reason you keep me here and act nice to me is because you want me to build that machine and get back to your brother, then you would just kick me aside like all the other times." She clicked the suitcase shut with determination in her eyes and I stood there totally numb to what she was saying. No it's not true, it's not.
"Winry that's not true!" I said truthfully, I grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her back to me. "Stay with me…" I begged looking into her ocean blue eyes.
"Ahaha sorry Ed, did you have plans to get into my pants tonight?" She laughed. I just furrowed my eyebrows at the way she was talking and grabbed her wrist tighter.
"Winry stop this!" I shouted.
"Ed let go of me. You're too selfish, but if you put yourself in my position you would understand… I'm going to die if I stay here any longer; you have already seen the effects of this on my body… be careful not to let the same thing that happened to your mother happen to me." I instantly let go of her as she said that. Shock… pain… hurt… hopelessness… depression I couldn't feel anything but this. "Look Ed I'm not mad at you. I think it's just best if we don't see each other again… ever again… I'm only getting hurt and I can't just stick around and be everything you need while I'm dying on the inside." "I'm keeping this coat too! It's the only piece of yourself you've given to me after all the pieces of me you have taken away!" She then left, left the room, left the base, left the city, left me alone… With no-one, only reminding me of everything I had lost due to my constant mistakes. What was I worth?
Have you ever heard of the saying "You don't know what you have got till it's gone?" Well I finally understood the meaning of this.
Saturn stars