.hack//SOUL -- .hack//Destination of a Soul

Disclaimer: I do not own .hack//SIGN or any of the characters in the anime series. This is just a fan fic based AFTER the series. That's all.

Recap from last chapter: Tsukasa was able to have one final stay in The World with her friend, Mimiru. However, strange things began to arise, and after a battle with a knight-like monster, the two were transported to a field that led to Aura's bed. Morgana's voice rose one more, brought fear all through Mimiru, and suddenly made her unable to move. After an unbelievable struggle, Tsukasa was blinded by a light and brought back to the real world. However, she did not want to look beside her, for she knew that Mimiru was lying there, unconscious.

I took a break from the last chapter because, well, it was long compared to the others. ^^; Also, I used that 'break' to study REALLY hard on my school subjects. What's cool is that the story's weather is following exactly as here. Muahaha. *watches snow falling*

[Away from story to get to talk with others.]

I'm working on a Buzz Lightyear of Star Command fic because I've felt empty after they took the show off the tube.. ;_;. Hehe... also, I'm making my own story. It's going to be a big one so I'm taking my time with it and developing my ideas. I'll post more about it another time. ^^;

[End]

**A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: This is important if you want to understand the 'timeline' of this story. This fic begins AFTER episode 26 of the .hack//SIGN series. It has NOTHING to do with the game or the next series, .hack//Legend of the Twilight's Bracelet. Therefore, don't get confused if things happen that appear to be different if it were placed within the game situation (.hack//INFECTION). Just follow the story as if you just finished episode 26 and you have no idea what happens afterwards. Hehe. **

Anyways, I'll get back to this chapter. Tsukasa begins to sink in her own depression, and putting no doubt in her mind that it was her fault that Mimiru was involved and having her stuck in the motionless state she is in. This is a chapter based on Tsukasa's thoughts and reflections towards the situation. It may seem boring at first (oy..) but I did put in some interesting things that spring up the story. Well, judge for yourself. P.S.!! If you really can't wait between chapters, I make updates on my profile so you will know what is going on. I sometimes even put cookies! ^^

Chapter 5 – Spiritless

I didn't know how much time had passed when Bear came home, entered the room, and saw Mimiru lying on the floor. I didn't know how much time had passed when the faint sound of an ambulance siren came. I didn't know when the paramedics came into the room and got Mimiru on a stand and pushed her out of the apartment and off to the hospital. I didn't know how much pain was inflicted on my cheek when Bear hit me with his hand right across my face. I didn't know why I couldn't understand the questions he was asking me. I didn't know that it was snowing hard outside as Bear drove himself and I to where the medics would keep Mimiru. I didn't know how long I stayed in the waiting room of the hospital, with my arms tucked under my chin and my arms holding them.

I did know that it was my fault. Everything.

Bear was beginning to grow impatient with my silence. I didn't blame him at all. I couldn't speak, even if I tried. Perhaps if thoughts were a form of communication, things would have been simpler. I tried so hard to tell myself that I needed to wake up. I felt as if my soul had escaped, away from the grip of my mind and body.

Everything that was going through my head had complete relations to what occurred in the past few hours. What I couldn't understand was why Mimiru had to be involved. There was absolutely no justified reason and it left me wondering in the darkness. If I could get to Morgana, she would probably tell me. However, that was just as impossible as getting the answer to the current question. My account was gone, deleted by the C.C. Corporation. How ironic that they chose this exact time to erase it...

"Are you going to say something yet?" Bear half-shouted, which finally brought my head up. It was the first time that day that I actually noticed his face in front of me. His eyes were daggering through mine, as if I had nowhere to escape. My lips surrendered to the glare, and began to open.

"I... didn't mean to... get Mimiru involved..." I managed to murmur out. Before I put my head back down, I saw that Bear showed a very confused and angry expression on his face.

"What do you mean 'you didn't mean to get Mimiru involved?' Involved in what? What happened in the World??" Bear said, in a louder tone than before. I felt his hands presenting a sharp grip on my shoulders. There was no choice but to tell him everything now. For the next long while, thirty minutes was my guess, I had explained to Bear everything from Aura, to Morgana, to Mimiru. I didn't bother to tilt my head up and see if Bear understood my full answer; I said everything.

There was a powerful silence as the grip on my shoulders faded away. Bear sat on the chair beside me and kept his arms on his lap, bending his back forwards a bit. I looked up and realized that we were the only two in the entire waiting room, except for an elderly man who sat in the far end of a corner, keeping to himself more than I had.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Bear finally asked, this time in a calmer voice. "You know I would've helped you, that is why I'm here. We all helped you in your past situation.. why are you still keeping things to yourself even when there are people constantly around you?"

The answer seemed so obvious in my mind, but it was hard to explain it in words. I didn't want to talk anymore either way, and Bear knew that this was more than enough for me. He sat beside me and we both waited for any information from the medics. After an hour of intended silence, a middle-aged woman walked up to us. She told us that Mimiru was currently in a coma and that no information of her awakening was certain. She handed Bear papers filled with scribbled information. He skimmed through them rather quickly. Before I could peek over his shoulder to see the papers, he handed them back to her without any show of emotion. The women then offered us a chance to visit Mimiru's room, which we did.

We followed the woman down the narrow hallway. The room was almost at the end of it, and she swung her hand towards a door with the number 62 on it. As I stood in front of the door, I could see Bear's reflection through the shiny coating of the numbers. I slowly opened the door and shifted in with Bear right behind me. Surely enough Mimiru was there, lying on the closest bed to the door. Another bed with a body tucked under the blankets laid beside her, making them a few metres apart. I quickly dragged my thoughts away from the other bed and walked up to Mimiru's side. Bear trailed to the other side.

As I looked at her, I felt as if I was close to a part of my past. It was almost like I was looking down upon myself, except instead of me, Mimiru was placed on the bed. With her pale skin and motionless body, the only slight movement that I could catch from her was when she was taking in extremely slow breaths. I was in her state not too long ago. For all I knew she was trapped with her memories lost and no door to open and escape. Very much like my experience...

I held her hand very softly, as if she was a delicate treasure which shouldn't be touched in the first place. Please don't leave me yet… I said in my mind, too embarrassed to say out loud in front of Bear. He himself stood on the other side, speaking no words and showing no movement. All this closely resembled a funeral.

No. This is not a funeral. Mimiru is not dead. I will find her... somehow...

"There's nothing we can do now. We better go home soon," Bear suggested. He was painfully correct. Only nurses and medics could keep her from death, while neither of us had a touch of experience with situations such as this. However, I didn't want to leave Mimiru just yet.

"You go on ahead. I will meet you in the car," I said. Bear slowly nodded and exited the room. All the while I kept holding onto Mimiru's hand, feeling her light pulse that kept hope in my heart. She was alive and that meant there was still hope.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you Mimiru," I spoke aloud, this time not ashamed to be heard. "I promise I will do whatever I can you bring you back. I'm sorry. They deleted my account. You were right. They are a bunch of assholes. I don't know what to do at this very moment... but I swear that I will think of something. Please wait for me..."

I carefully placed her hand back on the soft bed and stared at her face for a few minutes. Suddenly, I realized that I had completely overlooked the other bed that was in the room. I wondered why there was another bed in this particular room with Mimiru. Perhaps the person's condition was somewhat related to what she went through.

The suspense and curiosity took over me as I walked over to the bed with the being covered under the white sheets. From the shadows and bumps on the covers, I could tell that the body was of a child's and much younger than Mimiru.

I looked at the child's head. It was that of a boy with light brown hair and pale skin. A few tubes were connected to his arms, and a larger one covering his mouth and nose to help him breath, just like for Mimiru. His cheeks almost appeared rosy as I focused more on his face. I brought up my hand and lightly touched his cheek. A very small grin struck on the boy's lips which made my eyes widen and my feet distance away from the body. I gasped. In that second... in that one instant... I knew who it was...

Sora...

I don't know what made me assume that. Perhaps it was the grin, or.. perhaps it was warmth of his skin. But nothing or no one would be able to change my mind about this. I was as certain about this as I was certain that he was breathing. I knew Bear would not believe me, but I did not care. He was not here in this room. Here Sora was, in this bed, right next to Mimiru. The story began to unfold in my mind.

If Sora was here, then something must have happened to him before Subaru, Mimiru and I left him in the World. The rest of the pages in the story appeared to be empty, or uncompleted for me to understand the entire situation. With that, I still had another story to finish with Mimiru and the problem with Aura and Morgana.

About half an hour had passed after Bear left the room. When that thought came into my head, I decided to leave the puzzle as it was and slowly complete it another time. As I walked to the exit of the room, I repeated through my head that not only will I save Mimiru, but I will also save Sora at the same time.

***

Bear let me take the following day off from school. I spent that time lying on my bed and thinking about Mimiru, Sora and the spirit that I still had left within me. Something kept me going that day.

I did not tell Bear about Sora. I made the first mistake when I accidentally got Mimiru involved, and I dared not to have another know about this after seeing the dreadful consequences. Besides, he already knew enough from what I told him yesterday at the hospital. The only thing I told Bear that morning was that I was going to visit Mimiru again. Bear did not have any obligations to that, as long as it wasn't necessary for him to give up the car while on his job. I informed him that I would use the bus as transportation.

As I sat on my bed that morning, I felt almost relieved that time was moving so slowly. I stayed in bed until 9:30am, got up and took a shower at ten o'clock, then got dressed and trailed towards the kitchen at 10:30am. The refrigerator was satisfyingly full, even though I did not feel like eating much. I grabbed a small carton of chocolate milk, closed the fridge door, and sat down on one of the rocky chairs.

As I sipped the milk from the carton (I was too lazy to pick up a glass), I re-noticed the article referring to the C.C. Corporation. For some strange reason, it made me wonder why the police did not question or bother us about the incident with Mimiru. It was almost as if they understood her condition, and perhaps that was why she was put in the same room as Sora. All that seemed to refer back to the Corporation which kept me hanging until I finished the entire carton.

The C.C. Corporation was enormous. It is not difficult to assume that when looking at all of its success with the construction of The World. However, behind the walls there must lie some powerful secrets that could have something to do with the recent events that have taken place. A young individual like myself would have complications getting to those concealments. However, I decided to keep that thought in mind.

I threw the carton into the garbage and made my way back to my room. It was then that I realized I still had my philosophy essay to write, an essay on the theory of a soul. I decided to type it later tonight since I didn't feel like going near the computer for a little while. I took my bag, went to the kitchen once more, packed a lunch, and went on my decided journey to the hospital.

Taking the bus would take an awful long time. With the cold weather getting worse, I made sure I was covered with thick, warm clothing.

I managed to make it on a half-empty bus with a somewhat comfortable seat in the back. The ride to the hospital was not that long, only two hours. Perhaps it didn't seem lengthy to me at that time because of my eyes staring off into space as usual. I couldn't help but be stupefied at all the missions that lay before me.

I entered the hospital and told the secretary at the desk who I was. She allowed me to pass through the hallway and into the room where Mimiru and Sora laid. As I entered, I felt the same ambiguous atmosphere I experienced when I went in the room for the first time with Bear. Nothing had changed and it looked like Mimiru was in an eternal slumber... like the renowned character Sleeping Beauty. Sora was very much the same as her.

I brought up a chair and sat between the two beds. The machines they were connected to were a bit annoying. Beep... beep... beep. Vexatious as they were, I did not want them to stop. Everything was depended on those sounds.

Suddenly, footsteps were walking simultaneously with the sound from the machines. The walking of feet was getting louder, and almost overpowering the machines' noise. It was heading for the room I was in. With the footsteps getting louder, I also began to hear slightly squeaking wheels coming forward. Soon, two figures presented themselves at the door, one in a wheelchair and the other pushing it. The one in the wheelchair was Subaru. She was not surprised to see me, unlike I to her.

"You can leave me here. It will only be for a little while," she said to her female companion standing next to her. Once she left, Subaru wheeled her way towards me. I stood up.

"Subaru... you know about this?" I asked. It was a pointless question. She obviously knew about this. That's why she was here.

"Yes. Bear told me last night. Everyone knows now," Subaru answered. That was not the response I wanted to hear. With everyone certain about this situation, I would be pressured to give out a more clear explanation of everything. I waited for Subaru to begin building a tower of questions on my shoulders.

Instead, she went to the direction of the other side of Mimiru's bed. She stared at the still body for a few minutes and never said a word during so. I continued to wait.

"Tsukasa..."

Here it comes.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you do not want to," she said, while still looking at Mimiru.

...what?

That was all that she said. There was a long pause afterwards and the entire time she kept her face away from me. I stood there, not realizing that I have been standing the whole time even with the chair behind me.

Finally, she brought her head up and looked at me.

"It has been a while since I've talked to you and Mimiru offline. I have been so busy with my schoolwork that I never had much time to observe how you two were doing occasionally. I cannot even remember the last time we joined together for a friendly activity. Therefore, it would be rude of me to come up to you and ask straight out what happened here. I can tell that you have gone through a lot in the past few hours..." she paused for a bit while I was left hanging on her words.

She then drove her wheelchair around to me. I sat down on my chair so I was at level with her.

"... but I want you to understand that I will always be here for you, even with the large amount of school work I have been getting. Taking an above-academic program does not mean I want to cut my friends out of my life. If you ever feel like talking.. please.. do not hesitate to come to me, Tsukasa."

Subaru brought forward her hands and cupped them over mine on my lap. They were warm and comforting as they always were, in and out of the World. It was all true. Although Subaru went to the same high school as us, she had chosen to attend a program which exceeds the academic level. Consequently, she was given much more work and less time to spend with Mimiru and me. However, she understood the sacrifices she had to make and went on with it. Mimiru and I were proud of her decision and supported her in any way we could.

"Thank you," I said first. "I'm glad that you came. I... I'm afraid..."

There was no point in hiding that. I put my hands over hers and held them tightly, that being the best emotion I could give out at the time. She squeezed back.

"You're strong, Tsukasa. You know you are," Subaru said back. "I know you can get through this. Mimiru knows that as well."

I looked over at Mimiru, and then realized about Sora.

"Subaru... the other child here..." I began, standing up a bit. "It is Sora. He's right here!" I felt a source of energy return to my body as I exclaimed my last words to Subaru.

Her eyes widened as she looked to the other bed in the room. She gazed over at the young boy, squinting a bit and entering the realization that it was, in fact, Sora.

"It is Sora, isn't it? I don't believe it..." was the only thing she could say. She rolled her carriage closer to the bed to get a better look. The expression he had on his face that related to Sora's was less hidden, and it seemed so realistic and coincidental to Subaru. I stood up straight, watching her look at Sora with slight amazement in her eyes.

"I'm surprised that you were able to know it was him," she continued while keeping her eyes on Sora. "I wouldn't have been able to so quickly. I just assumed that he was here for a different purpose-"

"I'm going to save them both," I said bluntly, not letting Subaru finish her sentence.

She lifted her head and gazed at my determined face. Subaru did not respond and I did not want her to. I continued.

"I don't know how I will do it, but I know it must be done by, and only by, me. I will find out how to get to the World and find them.."

I had never been so open, even in front of Subaru. However, my silence had already done enough pain through others. It led Bear in frustration and Mimiru in the hospital. The amount of information I could give was so limited, even right now. I wanted it to stay like that. I would rather die than let Subaru or anyone else suffer because of me.

"Tsukasa, I am sure you know what I will say," Subaru began. The truth was that I did. "But... I will not say it. There are many battles that we have to face in our lives. For every battle fought, our wings grow stronger. Therefore, in the next battle we are more prepared and determined, even though the outcome is impossible to be certain of. Friends and companions are there to help in serious times, but only to a certain extent, because those wings belong to you only. If this is one of those battles where you must strengthen your wings alone, then..."

She paused and wheeled towards to me. I kneeled down, so we were at the same level as before. Subaru brought her hands out and touched my cheeks ever so softly.

"Then... I will let you go."

Never... never had I heard Subaru talk like this. My cheeks turned rose and I felt my eyes filling up with water. The tears did not fall until after what Subaru said next.

"I love you very much, Tsukasa. I love you so much that I'm letting you go. I'm not going to interfere as in the previous times. I do not want to put more weight on your wings. They are yours. Therefore, go and become stronger... and know that we, all of your friends, are behind you no matter how far away we seem to be... no matter what..."

I let tears role down my eyes as I pushed myself into Subaru's arms. I could feel Subaru's tears as they patted down onto my shoulder. Never had I felt so loved. Never had I felt so free, as if my spirit had once again returned to my body. Subaru continued through her slightly broken throat from the crying.

"Although I won't be fighting with you this time, there is something that I can give you. You see, Tsukasa..." she then put her arms that were wrapped around me down. I felt that as a signal to resume in eye contact with her. "The C.C. Corporation has stopped you from using your account. Therefore you cannot gain access to the World without one... and... I want to stay with Mimiru and Sora for a while longer..."

The tears stopped rolling down my cheeks as I concentrated more on what Subaru just said. "You w..want me to... use your account?" I stuttered.

"I don't think that will be a problem," she resumed. "You will take the form of my character, but it gives you a chance to find Mimiru and Sora in the World and fight whatever evil has caused this to happen to them."

It was a drastic plan, but as I pictured it in my head, it seemed that it could work. Subaru laid out a clean road for me and now all I needed to do was walk across it to get to the dark castle, where the real trouble would begin.

".. Has anyone ever done this?" I asked curiously. It would be best if I had some encouraging evidence to keep me going with this plan. Subaru giggled slightly and gave a smile.

"Of course, people have been doing it many times. It is not recommended, but commonly done without any side effects. Don't worry. This is not impossible. It does not matter that you might be different from other users. Your previous account was lost so now you are just as normal as everyone else, am I right? Therefore, you should be just fine," Subaru delicately answered. The words were helpful and more of an eye-opener.

I.. am a normal user now.. I said to myself, portraying the sudden truth through my mind. If I were to get my own account, which I soon would in time, then I could be whoever I wanted without the old Tsukasa haunting me. I could start anew once everything was taken care of.

"You better go now," Subaru quickly said. "There is no telling what Mimiru and Sora are going through at this moment. Come here," she lifted her right hand and signaled me to come closer to her. I bent down so my face was only a few centimetres from her face. She pushed her back away from the wheelchair rest and brought her lips to my ear.

"My password is..." she whispered her account password to me. The word released from her mouth like normal air. She went back to her initial position. I gave a warm smile of appreciation that was acknowledged by Subaru's bright smile. I gave her a tight hug, stood up straight, and made my way to the door of the small room.

Before leaving, I turned my head around to observe Mimiru and Sora once more. I then looked directly at Subaru. "I will bring them back. I promise," and with that said, I ran past the door and through the hallway. I lightly bumped into a doctor on the way, but I did not stop running. When I made it to the main doors of the building, the secretary shouted, "Slow down! No running in the hospital!" but I ignored her. I kept on running out of the hospital and onto the road.

I saw the bus coming towards the nearest stop and made it just in time. The transit vehicle was completely empty except for the driver and myself. I took a seat in the middle of the bus, near a window. While the vehicle began to push on, I looked at the hospital through the window. I placed both hands on the screen and breathed my thoughts through it and towards Subaru's mind.

"I promise..."

Do you like how the story is going? Please leave a review and remember to check my profile for updates. ^^